Quote From: katerineI really appreciated this post - I was beginning to think I was the only person who wanted to pitch in on Sharnetta's behalf. It seemed like Dr. Phil was very out of character in this segment, in that he seemed to just be generalizing, instead of really looking at the person in front of him.
Sharnetta didn't seem arrogant in the slightest. Arrogant people get prickly when they're called arrogant. Sharnetta smiled, looked slightly confused, and said, "Ok."
And how exactly does "I got lost," or "I need to check and double-check to make sure that I have everything I need" translate to, "I believe the entire world will make way for me and let me through?"
It actually seems to me like one of the following two things are the case:
- She just never learned proper time-management skills. Time-management is a skill, and people who have that skill shouldn't just assume that people who don't are uncaring.
- There's something subconscious that's actively keeping her from being on time. This is actually what I think is more likely - I'm very surprised that "I got lost" and "I need to double-check that I have everything" was just ignored like that (again, very out-of-character for Dr. Phil). To me (and I may very well be overidentifying here), these seem like anxiety symptoms, and they imply that the reason she's late to things is that she doesn't want to go in the first place! So she's stalling, subconsciously.
She admits that it's a problem, she wants to fix it, which means that she feels guilty about it... which kind of negates the whole "arrogance" theory.
I don't know. Again, I'm probably overidentifying here (I'm chronically late too. Not to everything... just to work. Not when there's a meeting scheduled that I have to go to, but pretty much every other day. And I can see a little where the arrogance theory comes in, although the expectation isn't that the world is going to revolve around me - it's just that it really doesn't matter one way or another).
But, totally aside from my own issues, Sharnetta just seemed like too nice a person to be passed off as callous and arrogant.
Hi all,
I think the one factor eveyone left out for why a person is late and it has nothing to do with arrogance; is that the person really does not want to do what it is they are late to but feels the need to out of love, friendship or the fact that it is a job you are going to and are expected to be on time! How did I come up with this conclussion? Years of looking at myself and actions and why I did some of what I did that was unpleasing to others.
Some of it I changed and some remains, just depends on how much it matters and who for. The who for is based out of, I got tired of always being the expected to do it all "the right way" while everyone else gave themselves and others slack. If slack is good for one then it is good for all. I never did and still do not like one sidedness or favoritism and therefore the allowance of one to do as they please and others as they "should"?????, still does not set well with me. My answer to much of life that does not change and I am expected to on behalf of others actions is to drop these people from my life because they are more toxicity than I need to carry in my life and their drama to boot.
I am not arrogant, uncaring, unthoughtful, incompassionate or any other number of inconsiderate feelings. Quite the opposite, so my kindess is mistaken for stupidness and or it is OK to walk all over me, when it is not and I no longer allow this in my life. If we want respect we have to expect it and give it. I do. I am careful to weigh others feelings and look at life from all sides and give the benefit of the doubt to others until I see I am a doormat and then it ends on my part. It is not fare that some think it is OK to act this way to others. If you do not like it change the way you deal with the people you are not happy with and change the levels on which you are willing to deal with them too. Avoid what you do not like and keep what you do and if it cannot work out then move on.
It is not your fault when others choose to have blinders on to what they do. I feel this is a more complex situation than just "arrogance" and such as Dr. Phil suggested. This is one of the few times I disagree with his response for the situation. And sometimes underlying health issues play a part that is not overtly made aware to the afflicted or outsiders either. Just my two cents and opinion.
I do not think Sharnetta was arrogant or rude, just seemed like she followed what anyone said and was maybe afraid to just say "no" if she did not want to really do it. This took me years to be able to say no to people, I felt "I had to", it was the nice thing to do even if it disrupted my life and schedule or stopped me from getting my suff done and some of it was time line based. Mine went by the wayside and theirs got done and then I was always behind the eightball. Sometimes helping others means more being overwhelmed if one is already having a hard time with things in their own life. Not everyone makes others aware of how difficult their life may be, so it looks great on the outside, no whining here, and they are dying on the inside. I have had to learn to put my life and needs first if I expected to be able to do anything for others otherwise there is the flip side too, resentment that you do for everyone, do not get your deeds done and do not do enough for your self which is your own responsibility.
My conclussion is that most of what I was late to was; I really just did not want to go to or do. Period!!!
Dr. Phil’s guests are going about their New Year’s resolutions the wrong way! They each resolve to change something about their partner. Luca says it’s time his wife, Karen, started losing her baby weight now that two whole months have passed since she gave birth to their son. Karen says she just had her third cesarean section and Luca should cut her some slack! Then, Elena says her husband, Wade, has been holding onto his loud, stinky beast for far too long and 2007 is the year he needs to “send it to the factory.” Wade says he’s just an “old country boy” and there’s no way he’s getting rid of his favorite sidekick. Next, Britney says her sorority sister, Sharnetta, is chronically late everywhere she goes and has even started making Britney late! What is behind her punctuality problem, and will Sharnetta be able to get to the airport in time to be on the show? Plus, tune in for a chocoholic who can’t lick her habit, and a marriage proposal ultimatum. Join the discussion, tell us what you want this year!
