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Topic : 01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

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Created on : Thursday, December 28, 2006, 05:01:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil’s guests are going about their New Year’s resolutions the wrong way! They each resolve to change something about their partner. Luca says it’s time his wife, Karen, started losing her baby weight now that two whole months have passed since she gave birth to their son. Karen says she just had her third cesarean section and Luca should cut her some slack! Then, Elena says her husband, Wade, has been holding onto his loud, stinky beast for far too long and 2007 is the year he needs to “send it to the factory.” Wade says he’s just an “old country boy” and there’s no way he’s getting rid of his favorite sidekick. Next, Britney says her sorority sister, Sharnetta, is chronically late everywhere she goes and has even started making Britney late! What is behind her punctuality problem, and will Sharnetta be able to get to the airport in time to be on the show? Plus, tune in for a chocoholic who can’t lick her habit, and a marriage proposal ultimatum. Join the discussion, tell us what you want this year!

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January 4, 2007, 6:53 pm CST

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Quote From: hpmx590

Doctor Phil Want What This Year! Are you kidding me? Last year my new Resolution was no to- make any mistake but I did it again I lost my receipt from Target in which I am surpose to give it to Isaac to give it to Community Advantage. Community Advantage is an Agency and hire Care Provider for those who parents who cannot take care of Disabilities either in a wheelchair or not.  See you tomorrow Afternoon. Sincerley Your. Russell

Happy New Year Russell!
 
January 4, 2007, 6:58 pm CST

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Quote From: ilovemyluca

I just wanted to reply to all the women who are totally bashing my husband.... I love him. He is not a bad guy! He loves me and our children very much. He was only trying to motivate me to go back to the gym.. he only jokes with me and I joke back. That is the kind of relationship we have. I just want all of you to understand that. i am not angry or hurt and he does not bash me. and as for the women who think he is arrogant, he really isn't.. although I must say he is really an attractive man.. I love him very much, he keeps me laughing all the time. so please stop leaving nasty comments... the show was supposed to be lighthearted and funny... ok... thank you!

 

Karen

I'm just curious....what kind of reaction did the two of you expect from the show? Two months after the births of my children, my husbands biggest concerns were that I was getting some sleep, recovering, and getting healthy.....my baby weight was a non-issue. If this is all just a big ha ha, what was the point of going on the show? Was it just about 15 minutes of fame? Or a trip to LA?
 
January 4, 2007, 7:11 pm CST

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Quote From: ilovemyluca

I just wanted to reply to all the women who are totally bashing my husband.... I love him. He is not a bad guy! He loves me and our children very much. He was only trying to motivate me to go back to the gym.. he only jokes with me and I joke back. That is the kind of relationship we have. I just want all of you to understand that. i am not angry or hurt and he does not bash me. and as for the women who think he is arrogant, he really isn't.. although I must say he is really an attractive man.. I love him very much, he keeps me laughing all the time. so please stop leaving nasty comments... the show was supposed to be lighthearted and funny... ok... thank you!

 

Karen

Well, this is a touchy topic for many women.  And you making apologies for his "jokes" only makes this type of behavior seem acceptable.

Maybe you should understand that there are women out there who have husbands who do this and aren't "joking" in the least.

And the segment didn't strike me as funny and here are a few reasons why:

  • "He picks up the underwear that I used to wear and cries over it."
  • " 'It’s not always funny to you, is it?” he asks Karen.  “Not always,' Karen says. "
  • The fact that he thinks you should drag 3 kids to the gym
 
January 4, 2007, 7:27 pm CST

Funny?

Quote From: ilovemyluca

I just wanted to reply to all the women who are totally bashing my husband.... I love him. He is not a bad guy! He loves me and our children very much. He was only trying to motivate me to go back to the gym.. he only jokes with me and I joke back. That is the kind of relationship we have. I just want all of you to understand that. i am not angry or hurt and he does not bash me. and as for the women who think he is arrogant, he really isn't.. although I must say he is really an attractive man.. I love him very much, he keeps me laughing all the time. so please stop leaving nasty comments... the show was supposed to be lighthearted and funny... ok... thank you!

 

Karen

After seeing the segment today, I had to respond.  From the way your situation was portrayed, it seems your husband only values the "physical" and not any of the other aspects of you.  I think it is quite sad, actually.  I have had one child, and it took me 3 months to lose my weight (I only gained 25 lbs.).  Also, I breastfed and worked out like crazy.  I wanted to lose the weight for ME, not for anyone else.

You have to want it for you, and not to make your husband happy.  Otherwise it won't stick and you will end up resenting your husband.

There is some major denial going on here.  I wish you the best and hope you see what everyone else on this board seems to see so clearly.

 
January 4, 2007, 7:29 pm CST

"Old Truck?!?!?!"

That is an old truck? Come on Lady, just be thankful you have an extra $500 in your checking account because your husband has enough sense to not delve deeper into debt just to "keep up with the Jones"......my husband still has his 1987 Toyota with over 300,000 miles!!!!! Now granted he doesn't drive it every day, but he did up until 5 years ago when he finally broke down and got another truck. But he still won't get rid of the Toyota even though it just sits on one of my dad's properties........I've tried to get him to donate it, but he loves that truck.....so I pick my battles, right ladies?........so my thoughts to Elena: "Give you husband some space!!!!! If he's a good husband/father/provider let him have his dang truck!!!" To Wade: "I hear ya!! now I'm a GM gal, but you have the right to keep your Ford!!! Don't give it up till you're ready!!!"
 
January 4, 2007, 7:39 pm CST

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Quote From: kanubrat

I am glad for Sherry and Rick moving on.  It is so apparent they have different ideas of marriage.  This happened to me as well, and I did move on.  It took a year for my ex to figure out he wanted me in his life.  After that year, he asked for me back and I asked him to court me again and we'll see.  It was awesome because our love was never gone in that year even though we were apart, and a part of me absolutely knew we'd be together.   After reuniting in 2002 he proposed, we set a date for 2003 and now have been happily married even since. 

I feel so bad for Ricky.  I believe that Dr. Phil should have addressed the fact that this young man is still in college, maybe he doens't want to get married yet because his girlfirend is demanding a 2 Carat ring and he can't afford that yet.  Geez, she is horrible for treating him that way and I am very disappointed in Dr. Phil for not sticking up for Ricky better.

So, before all the bashing starts, I would like to add that, yes, I agree that Sherry should go after  what she wants in life and that being with a man that doesn't want her is no good for her, but I think it would have looked a lot better for Ricky if maybe Dr. Phil hit on WHY Ricky isn't ready yet.  He was portrayed as someone who was taking his girlfriend for granted and that he was (sorry for the cliche) "Having his cake and eating it too" and just shacking up with the chick.  Heck, didn't she know what she was getting into before the moved in together.........BTW, how old are these 2?

 
January 4, 2007, 7:49 pm CST

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Quote From: ilovemyluca

I just wanted to reply to all the women who are totally bashing my husband.... I love him. He is not a bad guy! He loves me and our children very much. He was only trying to motivate me to go back to the gym.. he only jokes with me and I joke back. That is the kind of relationship we have. I just want all of you to understand that. i am not angry or hurt and he does not bash me. and as for the women who think he is arrogant, he really isn't.. although I must say he is really an attractive man.. I love him very much, he keeps me laughing all the time. so please stop leaving nasty comments... the show was supposed to be lighthearted and funny... ok... thank you!

 

Karen

If you didn't want help then why did you go on the Dr. Phil show? If you didn't think it was a problem then why did you ask for help? And if you were so concerned about how people might judge your husband then why did you allow him to be put on national television to be judged by everyone?
 
January 4, 2007, 7:58 pm CST

I agree with you and runnergirl...

Quote From: purplepenny

Well, this is a touchy topic for many women.  And you making apologies for his "jokes" only makes this type of behavior seem acceptable.

Maybe you should understand that there are women out there who have husbands who do this and aren't "joking" in the least.

And the segment didn't strike me as funny and here are a few reasons why:

  • "He picks up the underwear that I used to wear and cries over it."
  • " 'Its not always funny to you, is it? he asks Karen.  Not always,' Karen says. "
  • The fact that he thinks you should drag 3 kids to the gym

I saw this husband gazing at his own muscles in the mirror(primping, IMHO he is SO INTO HIMSELF AND HIS FEELINGS that he dotn give a darn about his wifes feelings), crying over the underwear she used to wear, not wanting to help her lose the weight like watching the kids so SHE CAN GO to the gym( they are his kids too he helped make them), also showing on camera walking up behind you, making fun of your backside. I also had a feeling he had a EGO trip going as well. His EGO needs to come back down to reality instead of being in the clouds of being into himself.

 

Karen, you look GREAT after having 2 children, I was married to a man like that that downgraded me even at resturants( because all I would eat was salads and wasnt that hungry I ONLY ate when I wanted to not when other people was hungry sometimes I only get to eat one full meal, actual meal a day ) he was complaining that (his EXACT WORDS)"Im NOT paying 5 bucks for you just to eat salad" Granted I was and still am 50 lbs overweight but im trying everyday to lose it( I enrolled myself in classes for it). IT HAS TO BE FOR YOU TO LOSE THE WEIGHT DONT DO IT JUST FOR HIM. I didnt find  the show on you "funny" at all. I think there is something going on here that your finding his excuses exceptable and he mentally abusing you in more ways then one by doing so. He is bringing your emotions down, manipulating you by bringing you on the show and humiliating you like that.

 

Or was this all for TV, so you or him can get a free trip to LA? Makes me wonder on the post Karen has actually left on the board.

 
January 4, 2007, 8:01 pm CST

I agree

Quote From: julie1418

I'm just curious....what kind of reaction did the two of you expect from the show? Two months after the births of my children, my husbands biggest concerns were that I was getting some sleep, recovering, and getting healthy.....my baby weight was a non-issue. If this is all just a big ha ha, what was the point of going on the show? Was it just about 15 minutes of fame? Or a trip to LA?
 
January 4, 2007, 8:03 pm CST

Being Late

I just wanted to say on Sharnetta's behalf that I had a really difficult time teaching myself to be on time.  I remember with my ex-husband and children we were always late.  And it was that racing at the last minute and I would be a wreck inside.  I would think if we'd just left five to ten minutes earlier.  And it may sound crazy, but trying to figure out how to be on time was comical when I look back on it.  I'll be 64 next month.

 

It seemed to have to do with not being able to figure out when to go back to get ready.  I didn't know how to give myself enough time and would then have to rush to get it together.  I was the fifth of six children with a mother who was always late, and yet it never seemed to bother her.

 

When I finally decided it was time with the help of some things I had read, I determined that I would go back an hour ahead of time to get ready.  And again it may sound silly, but it was always hard for me to know what to do with myself once I was ready.  It was like this unwritten rule that when I was ready to go, it was time to go. 

 

I had to decide that even if I just had to sit there until it was time that would have to be okay.  So with church, I determined to leave ten minutes before as it was only five minutes away.  Another biggie for me was that my ex-husband refused to cooperate.  If I suggested that he might want to head back to get ready (cause he was always late also), he would say something like don't tell me what to do.

 

I finally realized I could say...okay, but I want you to know that I'll be leaving at X time and if you want to go with me, you'll need to be ready.  If you're not, that's okay as you can meet us there. The sad thing was in the beginning, he would wait till I was leaving with the kids and then race back to get dressed and try to beat us to church.  It was nuts, but again I determined it would have to be okay.

 

It took a lot of effort on my part, but I finally conquered it and learned to always be on time or early if I chose.  I was probably in my early forties.  It felt so good, because when I was late I was always racing inside and had a lot of anxiety.  I did not like being late at all.  It simply took me a long time to figure out how to do it differently. 

 

It may sound unbelievable, but I was bright and yet I found it really difficult to figure out how to make it work for me. I love that I did find the way as my life was so much more peaceful not having that stress to deal with.  I don't know if this will ring true in any way for Sharnetta, but I wanted to put it out there just in case. I found myself wondering if maybe she might relate to it.

 
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