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Topic : 01/05 No More Jerks!

Number of Replies: 352
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Created on : Thursday, December 28, 2006, 05:03:49 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
One of the hardest resolutions to make is changing unhealthy relationship patterns. Dr. Phil’s guests draw a line in the sand and resolve to get it right, or get out! Tammy says her husband, Reynir, needs to learn how to be a nice guy. She says she’s been living in hell, and she’s tired of his obnoxious, controlling and jealous behavior. Tammy’s sister, Lori, joins the show despite Reynir’s objections, to voice her concern for her sister. What is behind Reynir’s anger, and is he jealous of Tammy’s relationship with Lori? Plus, Tammy reveals a huge resentment that’s been eating away at her for 20 years, and why she's been afraid to tell her husband. Will Reynir agree to get help, or will Tammy stand up and walk out? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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June 5, 2007, 10:19 pm CDT

i agree

Quote From: luvstinks

LEAVE!!!!  I have been in a marriage like yours for 24yrs now.  My kids are 23 & 20.  They've seen more than their share.  My daughter (23yrs) has a 5 yr old daughter from one bad relationship, & she "just" got out of a 2nd bad relationship.  She (like me) has developed into an "enabler".  My son (20yrs) has taken the brunt of our marriage problems.  However, he is in college and doing EXTREMELY well!!!  If I could do it all over again, I would have left over 12yrs ago.  Do yourself, and your kids, a favor.....cut your losses and R U N!!!

alot of people think they have to put up with bad behavior, and by the time they know it, the years have gone by so fast. i have been separated for awhile, but it took a few years to break away from the relationship, not because i didn't want to, but he kept on coming back. he just wouldn't leave me alone,. he got comfortable with the relationship, and i think he knew that no one would put up with him. I think he enjoyed being able to control, and bad mouth me when ever he wanted too. some men know they can do it and they will if you let them.
 
June 5, 2007, 10:25 pm CDT

01/05 No More Jerks!

Quote From: anon_slc

There are marriages and relationships that are so destructive that the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  Some of my favorite books which provide a great introduction into the subject of repeated infidelity and personality types most likely to cheat repeatedly are:  

 

Emotional Unavailability:  Recognizing It, Understanding It and Avoiding Its Trap by Bryn C. Collins  

  

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward  

 

Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss  

 

The decision to leave another person is never easy.  As painful as it may be, make a promise to yourself to leave so that you can begin a life of healing and recovery.  Leave so you can eventually learn to live a joyful and peaceful life.  

 

Hope it helps! 

 

 

sounds like an interesting book. there are many times when i felt i was the only one going through this type of abuse. but i see there are many. my husband used guilt , as well, as fear to keep me in the relationship. like saying if you weren't with me , nobody would put up with you. making you feel guilty for wanting a better life, without him. my husband use to say, he actually said. that i should think of my kids happiness and his, my husband, and if i wasn't happy that was okay. that 's a brainwashing method which is wrong........
 
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