Topic : 01/08 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention

There are a lot of messed up teens out there and none of them were born that way.  I have two teens and a twenty three year old.  I also have a trove of related teens that I have watched grow up and remember when they lots of things that went wrong when they were small that helped shape who they are today.  But none of the parents are taking responsibility for the job they did raising them.

     When the neighbors car breaks down they don't have to beg you for help or a ride, yet when childrens life break down they are told that it will be alright, for lack of an easy fix, and go on about out busy lives.  Until something goes terribly wrong and demands our immediate attention, then, since we didn't bother with the childs small worries, we are bothered.

     My childrens ideas were never wrong, mabe missed informed or suffering from a lack of guided involvement, but not wrong until it is proven to them that it is.  All of their problems are serious, no matter how small they seemed to me (they didn't have the tool I had to deal with them).  They were never refused help, sometimes delayed but they got it, with whatever they were into.  If they had bully problems I handled it through what ever channels I had to use (I'd rather get my ass whipped than have my child miserable at school).  I never told them "don't be angry", mabe "don't break nothing" but I acknowledged that they feel things, even anger.

    There is no way my child get an failing grade in any subject because i checked papers nearly every day and we learned what they didn't know or had trouble with before the test.  They never did "hang out" anywhere.

    What I'm saying is that it's easy to have good successful children when you are involved in all aspects of their lives.  And if they go wrong you can't help them if you don't first get back in involved in everything they do.  If you lose control then get it back!

   But the first thing is to admit to yourself just how important their live is to you, how far will you go.  I have quit my job and moved for their benefit, rode a bicycle to work so the car was available(seven miles each way).  Even became a stay at home dad to get things back on track.  I've moved away from family with them to avoid misguided "help" from the well intended.  I let my son wear a "mohawk" when he was six until he didn't want it any more (about a month).  When my daughter got so angry that she went out her bedroom window and stood on the corner because I insisted on her allowing relative to use her room on a visit, that showed me that I can't always have my way and be supportive of my children, so i made other arrangments.

    They didn't want a big house if it cost them time with me!  When problem got too bad at school and they started to question the value of their education, I started homeschooling.  My oldest graduates next semister from a known university and my daughter starts this spring.

     I was never able to correct problems with them until I first "temporarily" accept their viewpoint.

   I FEEL SORRY ABOUT HER, SHE NEEDS URGENT HELP,

after all this i don't see any solution for this problem, i mean shes 14 and shes been through all this, she needs god to be with her now, what will she tell her husband (if she gets married!) its clearly the parents mistake, they trusted her too much, up to a point that she did what she did, i wish that she would get over this and start a new life. cuz she needs to be clean from the inside out!

Dr. Phil, I'm so "HAPPY" that you have intervened on Alex's behalf!  Alex is in a really bad and dangerous situation!  It seems to me that her mother and aunt are the root of Alex's problems!  She needs responsible adults in her life!  The grandmother's lack of getting involved is also contributing to the problems!  Even though all of the adults say they're there to help Alex, they can't stop blaming and fighting amongst each other long enough to hear Alex's cries for help!  Alex has no real adults, role models are anyone she can count on in her life!  There's no one for her to talk to when she needs it, therefore, the streets have became her comforter (how sad)!  Thank GOD for you, Dr. Phil.  I'm "Praying" that you can help solve Alex and her family's situation and home environment for the better!  She doesn't need to become another statistic!  I don't want to read or see on the News one day about Alex's death.....

GOD BLESS...

Dr. Phil, you need to give us a more clearer, broader picture.  You are only letting the aunt speak out when she is definitely interfering and degrading both the daughter and mother.  Where is the father here?  Daughters who seek attention from other men, start prostitution at such an early age desperately need the love of a father.  AND WHY DO YOU ALLOW CELL PHONES AND COMPUTERS IN THEIR ROOM?  That's like giving an alcoholic a beer store.  What are YOU thinking?