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Topic : 01/08 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention

Number of Replies: 498
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Created on : Friday, January 05, 2007, 10:47:53 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Almost every teenager owns a cell phone and an iPod these days, but what if your daughter bought these items with money she says she made by prostituting herself to older men? Alex, 14, has been running away from home, stealing money from her grandmother and selling her body to men nearly twice her age. Her family wrote to Dr. Phil for a desperately needed intervention. Alex’s mother, Kim, and aunt, Enza, are sisters-in-law who cannot be in the same room together without getting into a fight. Will they reunite for the sake of saving Alex? Within minutes of moving into the Dr. Phil House, Alex was trolling for men on the Internet, under the watchful eyes of Dr. Phil’s cameras. Dr. Phil meets with Kim and asks some hard questions, to find out how things got so out of control with her 14-year-old. Sparks fly when Enza joins the conversation. Find out what Enza has to say about Kim’s mothering skills and join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 6, 2007, 11:16 pm CST

Taking Responsibility

There are a lot of messed up teens out there and none of them were born that way.  I have two teens and a twenty three year old.  I also have a trove of related teens that I have watched grow up and remember when they lots of things that went wrong when they were small that helped shape who they are today.  But none of the parents are taking responsibility for the job they did raising them.

     When the neighbors car breaks down they don't have to beg you for help or a ride, yet when childrens life break down they are told that it will be alright, for lack of an easy fix, and go on about out busy lives.  Until something goes terribly wrong and demands our immediate attention, then, since we didn't bother with the childs small worries, we are bothered.

     My childrens ideas were never wrong, mabe missed informed or suffering from a lack of guided involvement, but not wrong until it is proven to them that it is.  All of their problems are serious, no matter how small they seemed to me (they didn't have the tool I had to deal with them).  They were never refused help, sometimes delayed but they got it, with whatever they were into.  If they had bully problems I handled it through what ever channels I had to use (I'd rather get my ass whipped than have my child miserable at school).  I never told them "don't be angry", mabe "don't break nothing" but I acknowledged that they feel things, even anger.

    There is no way my child get an failing grade in any subject because i checked papers nearly every day and we learned what they didn't know or had trouble with before the test.  They never did "hang out" anywhere.

    What I'm saying is that it's easy to have good successful children when you are involved in all aspects of their lives.  And if they go wrong you can't help them if you don't first get back in involved in everything they do.  If you lose control then get it back!

   But the first thing is to admit to yourself just how important their live is to you, how far will you go.  I have quit my job and moved for their benefit, rode a bicycle to work so the car was available(seven miles each way).  Even became a stay at home dad to get things back on track.  I've moved away from family with them to avoid misguided "help" from the well intended.  I let my son wear a "mohawk" when he was six until he didn't want it any more (about a month).  When my daughter got so angry that she went out her bedroom window and stood on the corner because I insisted on her allowing relative to use her room on a visit, that showed me that I can't always have my way and be supportive of my children, so i made other arrangments.

    They didn't want a big house if it cost them time with me!  When problem got too bad at school and they started to question the value of their education, I started homeschooling.  My oldest graduates next semister from a known university and my daughter starts this spring.

     I was never able to correct problems with them until I first "temporarily" accept their viewpoint.

    

 

 
January 6, 2007, 11:17 pm CST

15 year old

Quote From: bluesky66

I have a 15 year old granddaughter living with my husband and I, about 3 months ago, she got into trouble with her father, and the school counselor called me and the gd, ask if she could come live with us. Of course I said yes. to date Family services has done nothing. I finally got her connected with a school counselor who she has only seen 2 times, however Diane says she don't like her.

She and her older sister who is 17 and living with her mother in another town, lie, steal get into fights with other school kids. The 17 year old was living here until we had a problem with her.

NYE we found Diane had stoled some money from us, to buy fire works, when I found the money was gone, I returned the fireworks, of course she said she didn't steal the money.

I have locked my cell phone, as she had been calling numbers all over the U.S.. I put as password on my computer, but she was up at 2 a.m. trying to figure it out. She won't go to bed a a decent hour, she won't get up when she should, I am about ready to send her back to her dads, or to a wilderness camp. However I can't really afford it, one I found is $11,000 a month.

 

When her mother of the year found out about the money, she told her never to call her again.

Last night at dinner, she said she was moving to some friends home in another town 200 miles away in a month. I told her if she did, her dad would report her as a runaway.  Nothing seems to faze her.  

Her dad don't have the time to go see the Family service person, I told her to have the police pick him up and bring him in there.

Oh yes and they do drink and smoke.  If I ask her to do a chore, she tells me to do it myself.

She is also very rude at times to my husband who has dementia.

 

I feel sorry for the family.  But I have noticed that there is absolutely no mention of the father, except for the mother and her sister in law.  This might just be the child's way of dealing with her dad not being in her life.  And no, I am not supporting her in her wrong doings.  But the question is:  Is she doing this because she never got any attention from her dad?  Looking and selling her body to men who's twice her age, tells me that she is looking for a father figure.  She is searching for that.
 
January 7, 2007, 12:23 am CST

UN BELIEVABLE

 

   I FEEL SORRY ABOUT HER, SHE NEEDS URGENT HELP,

 
January 7, 2007, 5:30 am CST

there is nothin to do!

after all this i don't see any solution for this problem, i mean shes 14 and shes been through all this, she needs god to be with her now, what will she tell her husband (if she gets married!) its clearly the parents mistake, they trusted her too much, up to a point that she did what she did, i wish that she would get over this and start a new life. cuz she needs to be clean from the inside out!

 
January 7, 2007, 8:58 am CST

01/08 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention

im going to put my foot in my mouth here but i really dont care, when you have a 14 year old daughter selling her body for sex to buy meterial items such as what is said she is doing it for , well there is only one place i look to blame this problem on,MOM-DAD.
 
January 7, 2007, 4:51 pm CST

a real serious intervention

alex really does seriously needs dr.[phil's help or she's going be in a path of destruction or worst end up with some kind of diease that she don't work or pregnant at a young age.  i've watched the shows where they have put people in the dr.phil house and when it was all over the people was different. i wish the best of luck to alex and her family because they are going to really need it! God Bless Them!
 
January 8, 2007, 2:19 am CST

The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention

Dr. Phil, I'm so "HAPPY" that you have intervened on Alex's behalf!  Alex is in a really bad and dangerous situation!  It seems to me that her mother and aunt are the root of Alex's problems!  She needs responsible adults in her life!  The grandmother's lack of getting involved is also contributing to the problems!  Even though all of the adults say they're there to help Alex, they can't stop blaming and fighting amongst each other long enough to hear Alex's cries for help!  Alex has no real adults, role models are anyone she can count on in her life!  There's no one for her to talk to when she needs it, therefore, the streets have became her comforter (how sad)!  Thank GOD for you, Dr. Phil.  I'm "Praying" that you can help solve Alex and her family's situation and home environment for the better!  She doesn't need to become another statistic!  I don't want to read or see on the News one day about Alex's death.....

 

GOD BLESS...

 
January 8, 2007, 5:33 am CST

First, try to get the girl straightened out.

I think the first thing to do is try to get through to the 14 year old girl. As to the sisters-in -law, I think sometimes people over-step their boundaries. With help, maybe they can overcome their differences, and see that they need to meet on common ground for the girl.Don't ever give up on this.
 
January 8, 2007, 6:54 am CST

This young girl is screaming out for help!!!!!

This girl"Alex" just wants atten. she needs help and wants help!! Dr. Phil is right mom and aunt are in over their heads. I think that MOM needs help too. I hope that they all get the help they need at the Dr. Phil HOUSE. I LOVE THE DR.PHIL HOUSE SHOWS.  I hope everyone has a great day!
 
January 8, 2007, 7:01 am CST

Why is the aunt on the show and not the dad/

 

 

Dr. Phil, you need to give us a more clearer, broader picture.  You are only letting the aunt speak out when she is definitely interfering and degrading both the daughter and mother.  Where is the father here?  Daughters who seek attention from other men, start prostitution at such an early age desperately need the love of a father.  AND WHY DO YOU ALLOW CELL PHONES AND COMPUTERS IN THEIR ROOM?  That's like giving an alcoholic a beer store.  What are YOU thinking?

 
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