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Topic : 01/08 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention

Number of Replies: 498
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Created on : Friday, January 05, 2007, 10:47:53 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Almost every teenager owns a cell phone and an iPod these days, but what if your daughter bought these items with money she says she made by prostituting herself to older men? Alex, 14, has been running away from home, stealing money from her grandmother and selling her body to men nearly twice her age. Her family wrote to Dr. Phil for a desperately needed intervention. Alex’s mother, Kim, and aunt, Enza, are sisters-in-law who cannot be in the same room together without getting into a fight. Will they reunite for the sake of saving Alex? Within minutes of moving into the Dr. Phil House, Alex was trolling for men on the Internet, under the watchful eyes of Dr. Phil’s cameras. Dr. Phil meets with Kim and asks some hard questions, to find out how things got so out of control with her 14-year-old. Sparks fly when Enza joins the conversation. Find out what Enza has to say about Kim’s mothering skills and join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 8, 2007, 8:50 am CST

Pride Stinks

Personally, I believe Enza isn't really concerned about her neice much at all.  It appears that she has some serious issues with Kim and wants to retaliate.  I think Enza needs to fall from her self-righteous, high horse and find some humility and compassion.  Obviously, they're ALL in a lot of pain. 

 
January 8, 2007, 9:36 am CST

01/08 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention

Quote From: femalemuscle

I totally agree concerning the aunt. She clearly lashes out at the mother for what seems to be more for selfish reasons than because she's genuinly concerned. She seems to be somewhat jealous of this mother. It clearly makes her feel good to run this woman in the ground. And my gut tells me that she does this to whoever she can do it to. Iv seen and known people like her and see right through this woman.

Haven't folks learned to set the parental controls on their computers by now?  You can set these up so that your kids can't download anything, enter into any chat rooms, go to certain sites., etc. without me entering my password.  Even when they send/receive email, their systems emails a permission slip to me for my approval.  Half the time, the program is so restrictive that I have to call the phone company to help me navigate these controls! 

 

Of course, I change the password frequently, but by now, my  15 year old is so tired of the parameters, the computer isn't that much fun.   Also, she knows that I have complete access to her every move and I will check up on her! She does what she needs to do and gets off. They have computers to do their homework and that's all, and that's how it was explained to them from the start. It takes time to set up and monitor and my friends think I'm crazy, but I say it's my job!

 
January 8, 2007, 9:45 am CST

HE WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE

Where to begin... the family structure is being picked apart at the core.  We are told education is more important, jobs and financial security , staying ahead and on top of the trends and trendy gadgets are most important, so we stuggle to stay on top of what the world tells us is most important.  Meanwhile the family structure is torn apart because time is irreplacable.  Fatherhood is replacable by a check.  Mothers are forced to have duel roles which hardens their demeanor and allows them to lose themselves in future relationships.  Children have lost their covering.  Innocence is more than bodily purity.  It is what we see that deteriorates our perception of happiness.  When is the last time we've seen a 14yr old girl who looks up to her father and when she looks at him, you can see her eyes glisten because she respects him.  And a 17yr old son who loves to hug and kiss his mother in front of his friends because he respects her and no one compares to her.  We parents are becoming friends so we can feel young and cool, we wanna be the cool parent.  We want our kids to feel like they can talk to us, that we can relate on the same levels.  THAT IS NOT OUR JOB!!!  Our job is to be respected as we love them and lead them into thier own lives, Respect should be demanded not requested.  As providers and heads of households, we shouldn't let our children put up privacy signs and tell us what to buy to feed them, tell us what they want to wear, we are giving them a things they need to earn.  Privacy is earned by trust.  Gifts are becoming expensive and almost impossible because everytime we turn aroud we're buying bigger, better, and more to please who, the children, or ourselves?  In all this, we are not perfect.  God gives us grace daily to not be Alex, Kim, and in their situation,  Everyone is subject to fault at one time or another and sometimes over and over and worse than someone else, and there is always an "Enza" looking over our shoulder reminding us of our mistakes and how much better they are than we.  I pray Alex seeks the truth in herself and wants to be freed from her self imprisonment.  And that anyone reading this that is going through a similar situation or any situation remembers God still exists, He still answers prayers, and He still makes a way out of no way, and turns what seems to be ugly and unbearable into a testamony to help someone else.  I beleive that is what is in store for Alex,  God bless

 
January 8, 2007, 9:50 am CST

01/08 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention

Quote From: iamvip

Dr. Phil, please hurry up and remove the aunt from the situation.  She is possibly one of the meanest people in the world.  If she really wanted to help, she would have intervened in a more positive and helpful manner.  This lady just likes to argue and be right.  Sure, the mother is in denial and is probably an alcoholic, but has the aunt introduced any solutions?  Seems to me she has just created another layer of conflict into the situation stemming more from her long time dislike for the mother, not out of loving and wanting the best for the children.

 

I know of someone who when faced with a similar situation, sought and received custody of the children involved, got the children into counseling and still tried to help the mother.  Sure the mother went ballistic, however this person moved forward in a very calm manner to do what was best for the children.  All without fighting, screaming and calling names. 

 

That's the easy way out - -pointing fingers.  If the aunt was so concerned and felt the mother was so unfit, why didn't she do something about it?  Why?  Because it was easier to keep flapping her lips than to take custody and really help the children!  As usual, one more person who has all the answers but can't be bothered to get her hands dirty in the rebuilding of a damaged heart.

 

And the mom needs to stop making excuses and step up to the plate.  I think that she probably won't follow through in the long run with whatever Dr. Phil prescribes because she is a selfish person.  She wants peace in her household, but she won't be a mom.  Seems like she wants to be more of a friend than a parent.  Mom, your time to party and be free will come again once you've raised your children!

 

Poor Grandma!  Poor dazed and confused teen! Poor Everybody! 

 

 

I cannot for the life of me figure out why the aunt is in that house. I was furious when I watched the show this morning. She appears to be an arrogant,angry,bitter and self-righteous woman. It's hard enough raising teens as a single parent-let alone with that kind of toxic, negative atmosphere around.  We all make mistakes as parents-no one is perfect-this child needs help and her aunt should not even be allowed around her. I know these shows are pre-taped but Dr.Phil what were you thinking putting that hateful woman in the house other than ratings.  It seems as though she is not a big part of their daily lives anyway.   I hope the child gets the help she needs and the aunt stays out of the picture unless she can control herself.

 
January 8, 2007, 10:05 am CST

01/08 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention

Quote From: femalemuscle

I totally agree!! Man, that lady is angry! I see right through her. She's not there to help, she's there to name call. It makes her feel good about herself. Its in her eyes...she enjoys every minute of this. Id like to sit down with her for a moment and tell her about HERSELF!!

T.

Aunt Enza needs to back the hell up!!!    The mother is in total denial that is true but the Aunt is a drama queen!!!    This family needs Dr Phil that is for sure....the aunt needs her own intervention!!

 

Angel

Johnstown PA

 
January 8, 2007, 10:09 am CST

The buck stops with us parents

The behaviors the teen displays didn't occur in a vacuum. It took years of pain, loneliness, sadness, anger and TOO MUCH FREEDOM for this CHILD (yes, teens are just big children) to make the choices she does.

 

We parents are ultimately responsible for our children and 99.9 percent of the time it is easy to see why the kids are doing what they are doing. We have devalued men (fathers especially) in this society, we have placed "stuff" over time w/ our kids, we have left God and His teachings and replaced them with MTV and Hollywood values, etc....and then we wonder WHY so many of our kids are mess. Hummmmmmmmmmmm...

 

This teen needs help, the mother needs help (and to acknowlege that the buck stops w/ her and the teen's father) and the aunt needs help as well. God bless them all as they try to work on their problems and heal.

 
January 8, 2007, 10:13 am CST

01/08 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention

Quote From: afraid

my god after seeing the first part of this all i can say dr phil no wonder this 14 year old girl is so screwed up, those two women need you to break out the boxing gloves and put a end to all there bitchin at each other,and poor grandma, what a hell she must be living in over all this.

Yea!  I see behind alot of the pain and fighting though.  I would imagine this stuff did not come overnight.  I could think on a few years of trying to stop the girl from getting so bad, trying to tell the Mom and have to watch the spiral down anyways.  I'd be more than ticked off too, not that teh name calling and fighting is helping the child.

So so sad :(

 
January 8, 2007, 10:15 am CST

Choose Jesus over Peer Pressure

Quote From: nsyncck

Peer presure is huge now. I should know I'm only 19 myself. It just seems like the young celebrities teenagers aspire to be arent setting the best example. I haven't fallen into the trap of drugs alcohol and partying but thats because I was determained not to. I myself watch these shows like on Maury with the I'm 15 and i slept with 200 men and try to figure out why. All these people tend to have low self esteem lack of love or father figure in their life. i don't belive this girl needs jesus I just believe this girl needs to love herself enough to know that she doesn't need sex/boys to be a good person.  

You say you don't believe she needs Jesus, but she needs to love herself. If you study the teachings of Christ, you will see that love, compassion and morality are a big part of His message.

 

When we CHOOSE to do as He teaches, our lives are much simplier and much more peaceful. When we CHOOSE to not do as taught, we have much sadness caused my unnecessary problems (disease, drug use, teen pregnancy, drug use, suicide, adultry, absentee fathers/mothers, divorce, etc). We all need to listen and learn more to avoid these horrendous problems. This teen child did not get to where she is now alone; she is the product of two selfish, absentee parents. HOPEFULLY, with Dr. Phil and God on her side, she won't be a lost cause.

 
January 8, 2007, 10:17 am CST

Behind the behavior is:

Behind all that bad behavior is very hurt, pain and anger!  Somethings happened to this young girl, it is what usually is the case when they act out like this.  I don't see this Mom as doing what needed more a few years ago and I don't think she is as calm as she appeared.  The aunt is way into anger, maybe from telling the truth of what needed done for so long?  It does not excuse her but she obviously is very invloved into hurt and anger over this?

I'd bet there is alot more to whats wrong than the show can give us?

 

Best place for this girl for starters, she has so much pain and anger :(

 
January 8, 2007, 10:36 am CST

U can't watch every move....

Quote From: iamvip

Haven't folks learned to set the parental controls on their computers by now?  You can set these up so that your kids can't download anything, enter into any chat rooms, go to certain sites., etc. without me entering my password.  Even when they send/receive email, their systems emails a permission slip to me for my approval.  Half the time, the program is so restrictive that I have to call the phone company to help me navigate these controls! 

 

Of course, I change the password frequently, but by now, my  15 year old is so tired of the parameters, the computer isn't that much fun.   Also, she knows that I have complete access to her every move and I will check up on her! She does what she needs to do and gets off. They have computers to do their homework and that's all, and that's how it was explained to them from the start. It takes time to set up and monitor and my friends think I'm crazy, but I say it's my job!

If i were a teenager, i'd hate having mommy look over my shoulder all the time.  There are ways around it.  She can use someone else's computer, she can use her cell phone, blackberry, etc.  No matter how well you parent, some kids are going to be rebellious.  I resent when some overbearing parent judges other ppl based on how they parent.  They don't always know the temperment of the kid, biochemical imbalances, and other behavioral problems that account for why the child acts the way they do.  They've been spoiled by their situation and can't empathize for other ppl.  No more judgment please.
 
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