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Topic : 06/11 Mega Moochers

Number of Replies: 270
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Created on : Friday, January 05, 2007, 10:50:16 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 1/10/07) Dr. Phil takes on a different kind of moocher … the Mega Moocher! Not only do these extreme freeloaders refuse to work -- decades at a time -- but they expect you to support them and their entire family forever! Connie says her 33-year-old son, Richard, is so lazy and selfish that he actually found a way to put her out of her own home, so he could move his family of five in. Connie and her husband, Rick, say they have paid over $30,000 in the last 18 months to support Richard, and they have had enough. Is an eviction the only way to get him out? And can Connie live with the guilt, knowing it could leave her three grandchildren homeless as well? Then, Janelle wants her brother, Jeff, to stop mooching off their 91-year-old grandfather, who has been supporting him for 18 years. Jeff says he has no need to work because he doesn’t have kids. Will this be the day these guests put an end to their family members’ freeloading ways? Tell us what you think!

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January 10, 2007, 9:51 am CST

Very sad.

Quote From: slinda

Dr.Phil

       I also have a 31 year old son that has mooched off his DAD AND i SENCE HE WAS 16, WE ARE BOTH TIRED OF HIM USING  US AND WE HAVE TOLD HIM AS MUCH, BUT HE KEEPS ASKING FOR MORE AND WE ARE LIKE THE ONE WE DON'T WANT TO SEE OUR GRANDDAUGHTER LIVE IN THE STREETS. HOW DOES ONE STOP? BY THE WAY I LOVE YOUR SHOW AND I WATCH IT AS MUCH AS I CAN BUT MY DISABLE HUSBAND AND I TAKE CARE OF MY 90 YEAR OLD FATHER THAT HAD A STROKE IN 2003. HE CAN'T TALK OR WALK. SO I DO EVERYTHING CAUSE MY HUSBAND ALSO HAD A BRAIN TUMOR REMOVED IN 1982  AND IT AFFECT HIS WALKING ALSO. SO MUCH FOR THAT. I WOULD LIKE TO STOP WITH OUR SON. PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. THANK YOU LOVE TO  YOU AND ALSO ROBIN I LOVE HER TO PIECES. I HAVE HER BOOK WONDERFUL SO FOR.

                                           SINCERELY

                                                  LINDA LOU S.

You created him and continue to enable him. He has NO incentive to do anything but mooch!

Close up your home and wallet to him. If he is out on the street, have him leave his daughter with you (or another stable family member) OR call social services on him.

 

This will NOT be easy, but it's a mess you guys created. You need to stop this cycle now. I have faith in you. If you want it bad enough, you CAN and WILL do it. God bless you, your husband, your son and your grandchild.

 
January 10, 2007, 9:58 am CST

Saw it while teaching, too

Quote From: gijane

I have to agree that many of these people are enablers.  As a teacher, I see many parents creating these moochers.   I had a student who was VERY intelligent, however,  he did no work.    His parents bought him what he wanted and let him do what he wanted.  There were no consequences at home for his poor performance.  I tried to get through to him with guest speakers.  He said he was going to do nothing until he graduated and then just "join the marines" when he graduated.  (This kid was physically and mentally lazy.)  I had a marine come in and talk to my class about what it takes to be a marine.  He realized that the marines want people who not only perform physically but can also think.  So he said well I guess I live off my parents then.  This is a case of the parents creating their own problem.  

Amen. I saw the same thing while teaching high school. We parents make TONS of mistakes and this one is a biggie. We create these moochers and then don't have the backbone to stop the madness. We truly do a disserve to kids; they never fly and feel good about themselves!

 

My cousins were all moochers, just like their father (my uncle). Now all three of them have babies out of wedlock, have been married at least twice and divorced at least twice, live off the state (welfare, subsidies, etc) and are still incredibly selfish. My sister and I were raised with a strong work ethic (as our parents had) and knew it would pay off...we are both college-educated, have always made good money, have been married just once (and still married 16 years and 17 years) and are raising kids who work hard, give back to society (volunteering) and can't wait to go to college (and LEAVE home:).

 

Parents are #1 in any child's life. The apple falls close to the tree 99% of the time. We need to CORRECT the parental mistakes me make. We OWE it to our children :) 

 
January 10, 2007, 9:58 am CST

Can't work because of his back?

 The mega moocher that couldn't work because of his back really upset me because of my younger brother. He is 5' 11" but because of his crippling arthritus he and I are almost eye to eye and I am 5' 2". He was turned down at several job interview but he kept trying. Now he works at Goodwill. It may not be the best paying job, but he is working and feels better about himself.  That man on the show has no excuse. Plus, the gentleman I live with is over four hundred pounds, has a titanium knee and sugar and he still works.
My kids had moved back in with me from time to time, but I finally moved into a one room apartment and told them no more moving in - they had to stand on their own two feet. One of the hardest things I'd ever done, but I didn't run home to my parents after my divorce with three kids. I was willing to help them out, only to a certain point and it wasn't easy to back away. We live and learn the hard way because it makes an impression.
 
January 10, 2007, 10:07 am CST

suffering

Quote From: ocean1999

I think your message is a little cinical!!! it absolutly mean's something to share DNA. My children are very closely attached to my heart string's & i would never want them to suffer. These problem's started long before these people were adult's. I don't agree with people mooching off family, but i do think they had a little help in learning how to manipulate. Have you ever heard that saying... " what we fear, we create" be careful. I trust that i am raising my family to be very self sufficient.

 

cheer's from canada

You say you don't want your children to suffer.  But isn't letting them mooch off you letting them suffer?  One day, you'll be dead, and they won't be able to lean on you as a crutch.  Then they'll suffer because they never knew how to make it on their own.  This woman should grow some balls and toss Rick out on his butt!  Lol!
 
January 10, 2007, 10:19 am CST

My brother the Mega Mega Moocher

I will be 16 years old in about a month and I have had to deal with my brother thats 27 and his girlfriend  thats 31 and the baby that is one that live with My mom and my dad and I...This woman is bad news she has 3 children from a prevous marriage the oldest one is my age!!  Here is how this woman starts her day she wakes up at about 6 in the morning and wakes up my one year old niece and goes to her ex husbands house (not even her ex husband yet) and stays there ALL DAY LONG, until maybe 8 or 9 at night...I think she uses my parents and my brother she doesnt work at all she even gets money from her "husband" to watch her own kids..and the worst part is that I dont think my "niece" is my brothers because all the signs are there...I know thats bad to say but i think that its true! Also my brother and her have not paid rent and my parents have told them so many times they had to leave but that never happened..Now they are supposed to be out by January 31...I told my parents if he doesnt leave then they are going to lose me because I am leaving if he doesnt..They also claim they are broke..they break all my mom and dads rules..my mom kicked her out last week but she came back without saying anything...Also she lies on me like trying to get my parents to not like me or something, she tells them stuff she supposedly heres from her son at school and she gets all up in my business and it isnt any of her business..And she tries to tell my mom how to raise me when her kids have been in lots of trouble (jail)...I have never in my life been so frustrated with one of my brothers girlfriends..

 
January 10, 2007, 10:57 am CST

moochers

Quote From: faeryedark

That's pretty much our plan and we've already informed our kids (the two oldest anyway) of this.They know they can live at home for  a while after they graduate...as long as they pay rent and for their own personal stuff (a car etc.)

At this point my two oldest work odd jobs  to get money for extras and vacation money and my son has quite a work  ethic already

I really believe you have to start young...and I have to wonder about the people on this show

Yea I know ... My sister raised her kids doing every thing for them ....And those kids did not know how to do anything ...Both the boys married strong women thank goodness and they dont cater to them and they are doing real good,,,but the daughter is helpless and she married a helpless man who has a helpless family and between my neice and her husband and his family they have depleted all of my sister s and bils money ...But I was told it was none of my business so I stay out of it and they know not to ask me for a cent...
 
January 10, 2007, 12:44 pm CST

Hang in there!! Stick to your guns,it will get better

I certainly can understand where you are coming from.  My son, now 31, with one child and (ex-girl-friend) have been together for about 10 years.  They have had many ups and downs too.  We always bailed them out.  This past summer we took temporary custody of my grandson, got him registered for school all while "Mom and Dad" were sleeping on the couch, floor or where ever they could, yada, yada, yada....  My son was able to get work fairly quickly, the company closed and he did not make much money, helped when he could and mother gets foodstamps/medicaid which helped some.  Son finally got a job paying better money and by Oct 1 they were out and we still had grandson.  When "Miss Snot" finally started to get her child support from my son, not counting the fact that he was also supporting her while she stayed here and did not work; we asked for money to help defray some of the costs of raising our grandson.  Which we would have used stricktly for him and put some in savings for him, she caused a big ruckus and I packed up my grandsons stuff and said that's it, I'm done, do what you have to do, but you better not keep my grandson frome seeing me and hubby.

 

Well, things have worked out okay.  They are now living together, but not together, and have now taken in my daughter and her son (a single mom who works full time since the baby was infant) and "Miss Snot" it taking care of my second grandson, so "technically" she is now working.

 

We gav4e a lot to our kids and felt sorry for them for all the problems we had when they were growing up etc.  Got all pretty much settled now and we have a great relationship and they are here for me when I need them.  But all the stress that this has put on me and my hubby has not helped me physically at all.  I have multiple sclerosis and now face major surgery on my stomach next week and know they will be there for me.

 

You need to stand your ground, cry when you need to, however, control it in front of them if you can and let them go......  Grandkids or not.....  It took us standing our ground for my son to stand up like a man and take care of his son!!!!  Your son has "3" CHILDREN and I am more sorry for them right now and hope this can be worked out successfully and I am sure Dr. Phil can help.  However, like an addict or alcoholic, he and his wife have to be willing to admit they have a problem and step up to the plate to take care of it.

 

My best to you and the grandkids for a resolution soon that will last and no one gets hurt.  Best wishes, Helen, West Palm Beach, FL

 
January 10, 2007, 1:19 pm CST

from xray79

Quote From: meviperchic

Yea I know ... My sister raised her kids doing every thing for them ....And those kids did not know how to do anything ...Both the boys married strong women thank goodness and they dont cater to them and they are doing real good,,,but the daughter is helpless and she married a helpless man who has a helpless family and between my neice and her husband and his family they have depleted all of my sister s and bils money ...But I was told it was none of my business so I stay out of it and they know not to ask me for a cent...

What really makes me sick is that my daughter is dating an abusive, manipulating moocher and puts him in front of her own 2yr old baby.  I am raising my granddaughter because I will not allow her to be near this JERK!!  And what a jerk my daughter is being.  I truly did NOT raise her to turn out with her priorities so screwed up.  I also did not raise her around this kind of guy.  Love can be so blind, especially when you are young, but I still see NO EXCUSE for her allowing this piece of garbage into her life and then putting her own daughter on the back burner.  I never did that to her, I am SO DISGUSTED with my daughter and her nasty boyfriend!!!  Trust me, people don't always do what they do just because of how they are raised. Other things such as environment, and just basically having a mind of their own, and maybe we are all born with some certain characteristics in our soul to a certain point, and our experiences can effect us that may have nothing to do with our upbringing. 

 

 BOTTOM LINE, WHAT CAN BE DONE TO OPEN MY DAUGHTER'S EYES???   Or is she just too selfish and ignorant that only time will tell on what she does because she may just have to learn her lessons on her own???  If she chooses to allow this kind of guy in her life is one thing, but having a baby adds to the pain of it for me!!!  How dare either of them not to think about the baby first!!!!  And his controlling and manipulative ways makes me SICK

 
January 10, 2007, 1:24 pm CST

What a jerk

Rick is using his kids to emotionally extort his mom. He saw her crying when they showed the grandkids and he told her to 'say goodbye'.  Basically he's saying if you throw me out, then your grandkids are going to starve on the streets.  The grandma should fight him for custody, declare him incompetent and kick her son out!  That way he couldn't use them.
 
January 10, 2007, 1:26 pm CST

Granddaughter needs to be on her own

My 21 year old granddaughter needs to be on her own. She didn't finish college for no good reason. When she was growing up, I helped out many times because her mother had left my son and I felt sorry for the girls (at that time ages 5 and 3). She works every day, but doesn't make enough money to support her lifestyle.

I feel like that 90 year old grandfather on today's show. (I am 72). It's very hard to say no, but I realize that in the last week I have given her $100--part of which went for her apeeding tickets.

She needs to something, but I have been enabling.

 
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