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Topic : 06/11 Mega Moochers

Number of Replies: 270
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Created on : Friday, January 05, 2007, 10:50:16 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 1/10/07) Dr. Phil takes on a different kind of moocher … the Mega Moocher! Not only do these extreme freeloaders refuse to work -- decades at a time -- but they expect you to support them and their entire family forever! Connie says her 33-year-old son, Richard, is so lazy and selfish that he actually found a way to put her out of her own home, so he could move his family of five in. Connie and her husband, Rick, say they have paid over $30,000 in the last 18 months to support Richard, and they have had enough. Is an eviction the only way to get him out? And can Connie live with the guilt, knowing it could leave her three grandchildren homeless as well? Then, Janelle wants her brother, Jeff, to stop mooching off their 91-year-old grandfather, who has been supporting him for 18 years. Jeff says he has no need to work because he doesn’t have kids. Will this be the day these guests put an end to their family members’ freeloading ways? Tell us what you think!

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January 10, 2007, 2:58 pm CST

Brother can't grow-up

My father died several years ago.  My mom is still living and is financially secure.  There are three sons. The problem is that one of brothers continues to mooch off of my mother.  My mother shared with my wife last year that my brother had been having temper tantrums, saying that she loved the other two brothers more than him.  He also says she should be "loose" with her money, and that she is "sinning" because she "hordes" her money.  He also says the same about my other brother and myself.

 

He wants to live with my mother, along with his wife.  He thinks we all should live like the "Waltons Family." (The old TV show.) 

 

My wife sent his wife an email recently, and he has not spoken to my mother since before Thanksgiving... although he is a deacon in his church.  I guess his Bible teaches something my Bible doesn't.

 

He was given a pickup truck by my father, prior to his death, and has refused (for 7 years) to accept it in his own name, preferring to have my mother to continue paying for it, and insuring and licensing the truck, as well as being a possible liability in the event of an accident, to the entire family.  He had my mother loan him $1,000 for his wife to probate the will of her deceased aunt (another story altogether) and now denies that it was a loan, and refuses to pay her back, saying that the money that his wife received is hers.

 

 

 
January 10, 2007, 3:00 pm CST

The 91 Year Old Grandpa

I think the guy should stay with his grandpa, as long as he helps him and doesn't take from him, I think maybe it keeps his grandpa from being lonley.
 
January 10, 2007, 3:02 pm CST

Dr. Phil you missed something

Not only do Richard and Jeff and people like them take from their family, but they take from society.  Who is footing the bill for Richard's surgery and doctors?  Who is paying for health insurance for all the people who have none?  Who pays?  We do, I do, society pays thru the Welfar program for all these people who won't go out and work.  I get sick and tired of seeing people who bring children into this world and expect other people to take care of them.  Where is Richard's wife or mother of the children?  Is she working.  Seems to me if one parent 'can't' work then the other one picks up the slack the best they can and at least make an effort to put food on the table. 

 

Dr Phil, you said there's nothing wrong with Jeff living his life like this as long as he isn't taking from his family.  What about taking from the Welfare system and health system if he gets sick?  That takes my tax dollar and I feel that as long as he is healthy and able to work then he should.

 
January 10, 2007, 3:05 pm CST

Sociopaths

I recently read a book called "The Sociopaths Next Door" that described these megamoochers to a "T". I would recommend it to anyone who is dealing with someone like this.
 
January 10, 2007, 3:11 pm CST

01/10 Mega Moochers

 There may be something more going here.  The situations I have read about could very well be people with serious mental illnesses, such as depression, bi-polar or even schizophrenia.  I was surprised that Dr. Phil did not ask if any of the people on the show had been diagnosed.
 
January 10, 2007, 3:16 pm CST

moochers

Quote From: flthomcat

MOOCHERS mooch because they're ALLOWED to. They couldn't exist without us. If we start using our heads and close our wallets, they would either starve or work. So they'd work. I guarantee that!

 

What  a waste of a show. The moochers can't exist without their "victims." The "victims" get something out of what they do or they wouldn't continue to do it. Smarten up, People, and take the victim label off your foreheads!

We have moochers in the family too and from what I have seen they are allowed to do this because the 'victim' usually has some guilt feelings.  Parents sometimes feel sorry for their kids, maybe guilt for something they did or didn't do for them as kids.  Some how they feel they are at fault for the way thei adult children behave or in this case maybe out of fear for the children.  Nobody wants to see children put out on the street because their parents are unable or unwilling to take care of them.  This Grandma should get custody of the kids and tell Richard not to let the door hit him in the butt on the way out.  When he can provide for the children he created then he can have them back.

 

I wonder what these 'victims' think will happen to these moochers when they are gone.  Have they given them the tools to support themselves or did they continue to enable their laziness?  They can't be there forever, unless they are providing a nice Trust fund for the future, so why not help them learn what they should have learned at a younger age.

 

Get a clue and just say NO.

 
January 10, 2007, 3:19 pm CST

I think you have a point

Quote From: purplepenny

What you usually have is an unfortunate mix of personalities in these situations. You have one personality that is a sponge and another that is too nice for it's own good....
I think you hit the nail on the head. The moocher who comes to my house prides himself in how he can get stuff from others saying " i don't ask anyone for anything, they just give it to me. " Rather he just takes but he doesn't see it that way. He's always on the bandwagon to go places and do things but always comes up short when it's time to pay.Thanks for your insite.
 
January 10, 2007, 3:20 pm CST

I'm in the same boat

I just finished watching that show, and boy do I know how the mom feels.  I have a 29 year old son that has until Monday to move out.  This is just breaking my heart.  I know that he needs to get out, but going through with it is the tough part.  This isn't the first time he's gotten the boot, and it doesn't get any easier with each time, it gets harder.  My son has a problem with alcohol, so each time he has moved in with us is when he's gotten out of jail and has nothing.  We agree to let him stay with us for a few weeks to get on his feet, but a few weeks turns into two more, then two more.  He will go to day labor and he works hard, but after a few weeks of being out of jail and walking a straight line, the line starts to get fuzzy and he starts to stop at the bars on the way home, then one thing leads to another and he doesnt come home at night, and then just begins to break all the rules.  He plays on my heart strings because he doesn't make enough at the day labor to afford a room for rent, eat and pay his probation and court fees, so then I feel bad like I've failed him in some way.  It's a vicious cycle, if he can't pay his probation and court fees, then he'll end up back in jail for a violation of probation, then he'll have nothing again, then he'll want to stay with us for a few weeks, etc.  I hate the thought of him sleeping under a bridge someplace, but my head tells me that is what needs to happen.  We never start reaching up until we've hit the bottom.  I guess, like any mom, you just want the best for your children, and when they don't reach their potential, you feel like you have failed them somehow.  He's a smart guy, just makes really bad choices.  That's what hurts the most.  You know he can be so much more than what he is, but he has no confidence in himself, and numbs his pain with alcohol.  I've wanted to write Dr. Phil many times about this issue with the cycle of jail, but just feel that it's a burden we must carry.  I guess my biggest fear kicking him out is not that he'll end up in jail again, but that he will end up dead someplace.  Thanks for letting me share.
 
January 10, 2007, 3:24 pm CST

rest of the story- employed moocher

This person is in his 30's. My boyfriend says I am mean because we should give cause we can. The problem is, this brother keeps screwing up his life and doesn't take responsiblity for it. His family bails him out and then he says his family doesn't help him and that's why he is the way his is! I've confronted him on all of it but he continues to be the way he is and his brother continues to make excuses for him.What else is there to do???
 
January 10, 2007, 3:25 pm CST

bad back?

I can't believe the 33 year old moocher is using the bad back for an excuse. I have have 3 back surgeries and continue to work full-time. Four of my vertebrae are fused.Vicodin and Flexeril help me stay off disability. I am almost 55 and also do my own yard work. Shame on him

                                                                              

                                                                                         Carol Anderson

 
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