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Topic : 06/11 Mega Moochers

Number of Replies: 270
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Created on : Friday, January 05, 2007, 10:50:16 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 1/10/07) Dr. Phil takes on a different kind of moocher … the Mega Moocher! Not only do these extreme freeloaders refuse to work -- decades at a time -- but they expect you to support them and their entire family forever! Connie says her 33-year-old son, Richard, is so lazy and selfish that he actually found a way to put her out of her own home, so he could move his family of five in. Connie and her husband, Rick, say they have paid over $30,000 in the last 18 months to support Richard, and they have had enough. Is an eviction the only way to get him out? And can Connie live with the guilt, knowing it could leave her three grandchildren homeless as well? Then, Janelle wants her brother, Jeff, to stop mooching off their 91-year-old grandfather, who has been supporting him for 18 years. Jeff says he has no need to work because he doesn’t have kids. Will this be the day these guests put an end to their family members’ freeloading ways? Tell us what you think!

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January 6, 2007, 6:56 pm CST

Unbelievable!

When my dad became ill, my four sisters and I took care of him until he passed away.  Then my we took care of my mother because she developed Alzheimer's.   It became so bad that we had to change her diaper.    My five brothers acted as if she was already dead.  They never visited her.  They never helped.  They couldn't understand why we angry.   She passed away this fall and my sisters and I were still devastated despite the fact that we know she was no longer suffering.  We miss her.  I don't understand how people can take advantage of their parents like this.
 
January 6, 2007, 7:09 pm CST

01/10 Mega Moochers

Quote From: slinda

Dr.Phil

       I also have a 31 year old son that has mooched off his DAD AND i SENCE HE WAS 16, WE ARE BOTH TIRED OF HIM USING  US AND WE HAVE TOLD HIM AS MUCH, BUT HE KEEPS ASKING FOR MORE AND WE ARE LIKE THE ONE WE DON'T WANT TO SEE OUR GRANDDAUGHTER LIVE IN THE STREETS. HOW DOES ONE STOP? BY THE WAY I LOVE YOUR SHOW AND I WATCH IT AS MUCH AS I CAN BUT MY DISABLE HUSBAND AND I TAKE CARE OF MY 90 YEAR OLD FATHER THAT HAD A STROKE IN 2003. HE CAN'T TALK OR WALK. SO I DO EVERYTHING CAUSE MY HUSBAND ALSO HAD A BRAIN TUMOR REMOVED IN 1982  AND IT AFFECT HIS WALKING ALSO. SO MUCH FOR THAT. I WOULD LIKE TO STOP WITH OUR SON. PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. THANK YOU LOVE TO  YOU AND ALSO ROBIN I LOVE HER TO PIECES. I HAVE HER BOOK WONDERFUL SO FOR.

                                           SINCERELY

                                                  LINDA LOU S.

Out of curiosity, what is he asking for ?

Milk for the child ? okay, BUY it YOURSELF, seriously no more money to him.

RENT ?

Can you really afford it ? No, well you shouldn't be using YOUR savings to support him, and you have enough on your plate without having to worry about an ABLE BODIED adult, where is the child's MOTHER in all this ?  Is she working or are you forced to support her as well ? Maybe some time in a shelter ( yes I know they can be horrible places, especially for the child ) you raised yours, and unfortunately, they have to raise theirs.

Sometimes we have to take the hardline, and force them to stand on their own, like I stated before you won't be around forever, and then what do they do ?

But no more cash, and only get what the CHILD needs, you might be surprised at how fast things turn around.

 
January 6, 2007, 7:16 pm CST

MEGA MOOCHERS

It always amazes me that when Phil deals with moochers he never ever goes after the "victims"  I had a therapist many years ago who said many times during my work with her that it always takes two to tangle.  Why is Phil so easy on the Mooch-ees?  Are they not their own worst victims?.

 
January 6, 2007, 7:32 pm CST

mega moochers

Quote From: mm1956

we have a few family members that wont get jobs also, we try to help but how far do u go. 1 gets jobs but then quits shortly after, some have ligit reasons & i wish he could find a job he loves & would stick with. i have noticed that both of the people i am talking about have problems with jobs, money, & other things. i have kinda done research kinda surveyed people with same symptoms & found all of them have alot in common & if they could get the right kind if help maybe it would change their outlook on life. it is causeing stress & financial problems for us now & they still cant see it cause they think we have money to spare. we have had alot of things come up in the past year that took us down in more than money ways. we had a grandchild that did not make it & that tore us up.  we have tried to help our other son, he's the type to try to do all himself. we even paid 1 of his bills annon & he finally found out,& was surprised how i could do that.  at least he's tried to help himself, he's self sufficient except that gaming is more important sometimes than other bills, he pays bills but he owes us too & that gets set aside from paying. he has a good job but too many bills to cover them, along with having to let their baby go after so long.  we wishthe now society would see that things change & you need a back up plan just in case. thank u for your time. mary
you are not alone. i also have family members like yours. my sister -in-law and her two daughters mooch off my in-laws who are elderly and neither are in good health. my in-laws have paid for cars, down payments on a house and paid the payments and taxes on the house, paid monthly bills for them and buys school clothes for one daughters kids. my husband works everday monday thru saturday at least 10 to 12 hours a day. i am disabled, but have worked all my life. we work very hard to get what we have and watch every penny just to get by. we have never ask my in-laws for any kind of help. these people will work for a few months then quit. they do this so they can file earned income on their tax returns and get the max back. they receive all kinds of assistance. they eat better than we do, go on vacations, are buying something all the time.they are such moochers that they want even mow their own lawn. my father-in-law and mother-in law mower their lawn for them. the daughter that has children even talked my father-in-law into buying a four wheeler for her 7 year old son and into buying her a new car. i get so mad about this, because we have three daughter who all work and have never ask their grandparents for help. the all have good jobs that they have been on for years. very seldom do they ask us for help. i have told my husband that if his sister and neices keep it up that there will not be anything left to help take care of his parents if he doesn't talk to his parents about this and have them put a stop to all the mooching. they all need to get jobs and keep them and stop mooching. thank you for letting me vent. ktractor
 
January 6, 2007, 7:57 pm CST

Mega Moochers

 I know how this mother must feel. My son met a girl on the internet and married her. She was a single mother of four girls that she had had by four different men and had never been married to any of them. My son fell in love with the kids and he could not leave them. He is very easy going and loved by everyone who meets him. He was married for five months then moved them to california so he could be closer to mom who paid $3,000.00 to move them here. I helped them get a place of their own. Now my new daughter in law just plays on the computer all day and my son has to be both mom and dad plus work all day. His wife weighs 310 pounds and won't get off her butt to look for a job or go to school. She has been on the welfare system all her life and shows no ambition of ever doing anything with her life as long as she can mooch off of the system and now my son. All her family in Georgia has lived this life. She admires my daughter for working but she shows no effort of ever doing anything useful with her life. What can I say or do as a mother in law? Please guide me with this situation.
 
January 6, 2007, 8:06 pm CST

I know one of these as well

My wife to be and I have a "friend" who is like this.  He is soon to be 26 years old and the last job he had over two years ago he lasted a half of a day before quitting.  This guy doesn't do anything except lay around the house all day and play video games.  I tell you what though, I am now in my early thirties,  and every time I think life is going bad or that my job is stressful, I thank God that I am not in his shoes because he is going to have a lot of problems later on.
 
January 7, 2007, 10:33 am CST

ENABLERS!

This can end when some tough love is given, people will take you as far as you will allow them to! There comes a time when you have to put an end to it, if your worried about the grandkids, FIGHT FOR THEM! but throw the moochers out, or they will continue to take from you, after all, we have the power over ourselfs, but your giving them the power over you buy enabeling them! You can do this!! and you will be helping them by making them stand on there own two feet!!!  Have a little faith in yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You Can Do This!!!!! I have faith in you so have alittle faith in yourself!! Kim-Lincoln, Nebraska

 
January 7, 2007, 2:29 pm CST

Re: Enablers

I have to agree that many of these people are enablers.  As a teacher, I see many parents creating these moochers.   I had a student who was VERY intelligent, however,  he did no work.    His parents bought him what he wanted and let him do what he wanted.  There were no consequences at home for his poor performance.  I tried to get through to him with guest speakers.  He said he was going to do nothing until he graduated and then just "join the marines" when he graduated.  (This kid was physically and mentally lazy.)  I had a marine come in and talk to my class about what it takes to be a marine.  He realized that the marines want people who not only perform physically but can also think.  So he said well I guess I live off my parents then.  This is a case of the parents creating their own problem.  
 
January 7, 2007, 7:28 pm CST

Don't I Know

Quote From: gijane

When my dad became ill, my four sisters and I took care of him until he passed away.  Then my we took care of my mother because she developed Alzheimer's.   It became so bad that we had to change her diaper.    My five brothers acted as if she was already dead.  They never visited her.  They never helped.  They couldn't understand why we angry.   She passed away this fall and my sisters and I were still devastated despite the fact that we know she was no longer suffering.  We miss her.  I don't understand how people can take advantage of their parents like this.
The same thing happened in my family.  I was the much younger of four.  After my dad died the older three tried to take everything from my mom so I had to step in and defend her property.  I took none of it myself but the intervention caused such hard feelings that they ignored me and my mom for the next 20+ years.  There was nothing I could do to breach the split.  When my mother became infirm and in a nursing home, all her care was left to me which was fine, I did the best I could.  I lived 3 hrs. away but spent weekends going back and forth.  All of them lived relatively close but would only go by to see Mom for brief visits and did nothing financially to help.  I paid her bills and supplied all her needs.  I will say one thing, the only thing that made this tolerable was the fact that my mom had the foresight to supply me with her Power of Attorney.  If this had not been in my possession, they would have run right over me and her both.  Mother spent 14 years in that nursing home and although I took very good care of her and tried to make her as happy and content as possible, their absence and ugliness made her last years very hurtful and undeservably so.  My mother was a very wonderful woman and I will always miss her.  I have one brother still alive and he still will not have any contact with me because his wife hates me and he won't cross her but they have to live with their decisions.  I know in my heart that I did the best that I could by my mother and by them as well and they just have to live with their choices and actions not only in this world but in the next.  Maybe it comforts you in some way to know that you are not the only one who has tried very hard and been taken advantage of by small minded and hard hearted siblings.
 
January 7, 2007, 8:10 pm CST

01/10 Mega Moochers

wow mooched his own mother to the streets, fine son you raised there, seems you may have spared the rod , but now you see what happens when you dont make a child mind when there young, go kick his butt out of your house mamm, no law is a just law that would allow such behavior and i would cha;llenge them on that.

 

 
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