Quote From: dcmc68The same thing happened in my family. I was the much younger of four. After my dad died the older three tried to take everything from my mom so I had to step in and defend her property. I took none of it myself but the intervention caused such hard feelings that they ignored me and my mom for the next 20+ years. There was nothing I could do to breach the split. When my mother became infirm and in a nursing home, all her care was left to me which was fine, I did the best I could. I lived 3 hrs. away but spent weekends going back and forth. All of them lived relatively close but would only go by to see Mom for brief visits and did nothing financially to help. I paid her bills and supplied all her needs. I will say one thing, the only thing that made this tolerable was the fact that my mom had the foresight to supply me with her Power of Attorney. If this had not been in my possession, they would have run right over me and her both. Mother spent 14 years in that nursing home and although I took very good care of her and tried to make her as happy and content as possible, their absence and ugliness made her last years very hurtful and undeservably so. My mother was a very wonderful woman and I will always miss her. I have one brother still alive and he still will not have any contact with me because his wife hates me and he won't cross her but they have to live with their decisions. I know in my heart that I did the best that I could by my mother and by them as well and they just have to live with their choices and actions not only in this world but in the next. Maybe it comforts you in some way to know that you are not the only one who has tried very hard and been taken advantage of by small minded and hard hearted siblings.
Im still trying to accept that my two siblings also seemed to always show up for 'special occassions' at my folks' home, as long as Mom and Dads money financed school, housing, auto needs,,,etc,,,through the years. I joined the Marines and prided myself of giving back to them and sharing my family life with them as much as possible. Unfortunatly during the last five years of my folks' lives, the other two siblings were no where to be found ESPECIALLY when our folks needed diaper changes, dialysis visits, doctor visits, etc...I miss my Mom and Dad so much I can never express the pain of their absence...They died sad knowing the truth of being used for their money by my siblings, It was so obvious. They eventually gave up waiting for the visits and phone calls. That just cuts my soul so deeply. They both died three months apart after over 50 years together. They are at last in peace. That was two years ago...
Nonetheless, I found myself "buying" my sons' lifesyle the same way my folks catered to my siblings. And by the way, they accecpted the moneys from the estate and have already gone on vacations and bought new cars...As for me, Im still trying to rebuild my life. I lost my folks and my sibblings. All at once. And my children believe my ex-husbands complaints that I 'abandoned' my children to take care of my folks...unbelievable. I don't think they'll realize the truth for a while.
So the truth is I realize I raised lazy boys that expect the woman to do everything. Seems like the majority of college age kids are living at home. So they think it's the "norm". (At least they aren't drug addicts and/or young parents like some other people, right?)... But guess what?...I am not going to end up used and abused! I refuse to be manipulated. I will not finance their life just to be forgotten until the Will is read (which is never statisfactory to everybody anyway.) Im 45 years old and I figure it's time for me to grow up too. No more 'help with the rent - just this time' (again and again)...Find another sucker. This bank is CLOSED! My parents would want it this way too. Maybe in time, my boys will thank my for not holding them back from their own successes. I also have to say that I pray they have the strength to get up when they fall. I am scared, don't get me wrong...I love them with all my heart. (Even though they didn't remember me at XMas or on my Bday)...Thats okay...Hurts but it's the way it is. The lesser of the two evils.
(Original Air Date: 1/10/07) Dr. Phil takes on a different kind of moocher … the Mega Moocher! Not only do these extreme freeloaders refuse to work -- decades at a time -- but they expect you to support them and their entire family forever! Connie says her 33-year-old son, Richard, is so lazy and selfish that he actually found a way to put her out of her own home, so he could move his family of five in. Connie and her husband, Rick, say they have paid over $30,000 in the last 18 months to support Richard, and they have had enough. Is an eviction the only way to get him out? And can Connie live with the guilt, knowing it could leave her three grandchildren homeless as well? Then, Janelle wants her brother, Jeff, to stop mooching off their 91-year-old grandfather, who has been supporting him for 18 years. Jeff says he has no need to work because he doesn’t have kids. Will this be the day these guests put an end to their family members’ freeloading ways? Tell us what you think!
