Message Boards

Topic : 06/11 Mega Moochers

Number of Replies: 270
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, January 05, 2007, 10:50:16 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 1/10/07) Dr. Phil takes on a different kind of moocher … the Mega Moocher! Not only do these extreme freeloaders refuse to work -- decades at a time -- but they expect you to support them and their entire family forever! Connie says her 33-year-old son, Richard, is so lazy and selfish that he actually found a way to put her out of her own home, so he could move his family of five in. Connie and her husband, Rick, say they have paid over $30,000 in the last 18 months to support Richard, and they have had enough. Is an eviction the only way to get him out? And can Connie live with the guilt, knowing it could leave her three grandchildren homeless as well? Then, Janelle wants her brother, Jeff, to stop mooching off their 91-year-old grandfather, who has been supporting him for 18 years. Jeff says he has no need to work because he doesn’t have kids. Will this be the day these guests put an end to their family members’ freeloading ways? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

More June 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

January 9, 2007, 8:06 pm CST

children moochers

 

 

I too have a brother that has been mooching off my parents for 33 years.  They have provided him a free house, where he lives by himself all this time.  now after he lost lots of money in a business they gave him money to start,  he claims he is sick and can't work anymore.  They support him financiall monthly also.  My parents have always gone along with this crap from him.  He's a mama's boy,  53 yrs. old,  never been married and no children.  My mother rules the roost in their household and my father just has to go along with her to keep peace.  He's a wimp really.   My parents do not help me,  never have,  I'd made them a ton a money in a business they invested in that I had and they still consider me the red headed step child.  I have major health problems,  cannot work and haven't for years,  thank god for savings which has almost run out and because I brought up my feelings about this problem,   now my mother won't speak to me,  and my dad goes along with it.  They are old school Italian,  could this be part of the problem?.  I cry everyday,  live alone,  went thru psychatric counseling to deal with this for 30 years and I still have major depression and am bi polar and on meds since 1980.    After all these years I finally got my mother into a couselor of her choice for her and I,  all she did was lie to the counselor,  the counselor told her she had to treat her children fairly and she wanted her to put the same amount of money in my checking account each month to help me like they do my brother.  That was 8 months ago and I've never seen a dime.  she thinks I'm jealous of my brother but that really is not the case.  I'm just hurt. 

 

anyone have any suggestions for me to deal with the hurt?

 
January 9, 2007, 10:14 pm CST

moochers

Quote From: purplepenny

That is pretty much how it went down in my house and my two brothers and I are very hard workers and we all appreciate what we have.  I am a SAHM now, but my work ethic now translates into my home and raising my daughter. The older of my two younger brothers is a leading salesman at a great company and the younger one of the two works at a loading dock for a furniture store and he loves it, he's always loved physical work.
 I was a SAHM too...and it would have been easy for me just to do every thing for them...but when I looked in my future I saw them all living at home at 40 and being total slobs and I said no way , lol      they are going to learn at a young age about responsibility...When they started working at 16   I let that be their money, I did not start charging them rent till after they graduated and it worked out real well.... And the thing is we had our children when we were pretty young so now my husband and I are both only 47 and it is like we have our honymoon all over again....lol
 
January 10, 2007, 4:13 am CST

01/10 Mega Moochers

Quote From: meviperchic

 I was a SAHM too...and it would have been easy for me just to do every thing for them...but when I looked in my future I saw them all living at home at 40 and being total slobs and I said no way , lol      they are going to learn at a young age about responsibility...When they started working at 16   I let that be their money, I did not start charging them rent till after they graduated and it worked out real well.... And the thing is we had our children when we were pretty young so now my husband and I are both only 47 and it is like we have our honymoon all over again....lol

That's pretty much our plan and we've already informed our kids (the two oldest anyway) of this.They know they can live at home for  a while after they graduate...as long as they pay rent and for their own personal stuff (a car etc.)

At this point my two oldest work odd jobs  to get money for extras and vacation money and my son has quite a work  ethic already

I really believe you have to start young...and I have to wonder about the people on this show

 
January 10, 2007, 6:06 am CST

like to add...

I'm from Texas, so i have a pretty good relationship with guns...all i'd need to do is build me an arsonal of shotguns and when my son tries to pull that crap on me- all trespassers will be shot!  Pretty good argument against gun control huh?  Ha ha ha.  All said in tongue in cheek.

 

 

 
January 10, 2007, 7:31 am CST

OMG, it's deja-vu for me!

My ex husband is this guy made over!  It's so strange to watch this guy make all these lame excuses when my ex did the exact same thing and was lying out his fanny too!  He used our kids as leverage to make his parents pay his bills.  We ended up foreclosed on in our first house even though I was putting entire paychecks to the bills and we should have had plenty of money to pay the bills.  I ended up living with my parents for eighteen months while this jerk "found himself".  He worked odd jobs so he wouldn't have to work a serious 9 to 5 job.  My car got repossessed and for a time we only had an old junker he found at a shady car lot to drive.  Long story short, after foreclosure, two evictions, three car repossessions and my ex actually losing our kids' Christmas presents in a storage building he stopped paying for, I left him.  Stupid me, I should have left a lot sooner.  He lived in his junker car for a while because his parents wouldn't have him; they knew better.

 

Right after I left him, things got so much better.  I lived with my parents again, but this time with a purpose.  I found Mr. Right and we are now going on four years of bliss.  Bills paid, our own home, MY OWN CAR and the kids are so happy!  My ex found another stupid girl to marry to work her butt off to support his lazy, lying self.  They have to park her car over at his parents' house; I suspect it's because he stopped paying the car payments.  But don't get the wrong idea; the ex now has to work a full-time job.  I have court-ordered child support, and you best believe he would be in prison if even one payment went amiss.  I think that court ordered child support is the best thing that ever happened to him; he now feel the torturous pain of actual responsibility!

 

If I was that mom, I'd have him kicked out and I'd have social services put those kids in her care until he straightened out.  Or just get rid of him because he's a menace.  But he has GOT to go.  He's a lying, low-life loser and she can't get rid of that turkey fast enough!  Don't cry for that bonehead; get him out right now before he ruins you!

 
January 10, 2007, 8:00 am CST

i understand

Quote From: gallucci

 

 

I too have a brother that has been mooching off my parents for 33 years.  They have provided him a free house, where he lives by himself all this time.  now after he lost lots of money in a business they gave him money to start,  he claims he is sick and can't work anymore.  They support him financiall monthly also.  My parents have always gone along with this crap from him.  He's a mama's boy,  53 yrs. old,  never been married and no children.  My mother rules the roost in their household and my father just has to go along with her to keep peace.  He's a wimp really.   My parents do not help me,  never have,  I'd made them a ton a money in a business they invested in that I had and they still consider me the red headed step child.  I have major health problems,  cannot work and haven't for years,  thank god for savings which has almost run out and because I brought up my feelings about this problem,   now my mother won't speak to me,  and my dad goes along with it.  They are old school Italian,  could this be part of the problem?.  I cry everyday,  live alone,  went thru psychatric counseling to deal with this for 30 years and I still have major depression and am bi polar and on meds since 1980.    After all these years I finally got my mother into a couselor of her choice for her and I,  all she did was lie to the counselor,  the counselor told her she had to treat her children fairly and she wanted her to put the same amount of money in my checking account each month to help me like they do my brother.  That was 8 months ago and I've never seen a dime.  she thinks I'm jealous of my brother but that really is not the case.  I'm just hurt. 

 

anyone have any suggestions for me to deal with the hurt?

you are absolutly right to be hurt. theres obviosly nothing you can do to get through to your mom. and you cant really blame your brother, it sounds like hes got it from your dad. your dad must also have some issues becuase he cant stand up as a man and speak his opinion. it is sad. A man(your brother) should stand on his own two fucking feet. and your mom should be ashamed to have raised such a failure and on top of that shes supporting his fucking laziness. what you can do is move on family are the ones to cause the worst pain one can endure. but, god forbid but ,when your parents pass on whos going to take care of your brother than. its sad becuase your mom is obviosly not thinking of that now is she.
 
January 10, 2007, 8:16 am CST

01/10 Mega Moochers

well i must say it was good richard saw what he was doing to his mother was wrong, its a shame it took dr phil to show him tho.
 
January 10, 2007, 9:31 am CST

mega moochers

Quote From: gijane

When my dad became ill, my four sisters and I took care of him until he passed away.  Then my we took care of my mother because she developed Alzheimer's.   It became so bad that we had to change her diaper.    My five brothers acted as if she was already dead.  They never visited her.  They never helped.  They couldn't understand why we angry.   She passed away this fall and my sisters and I were still devastated despite the fact that we know she was no longer suffering.  We miss her.  I don't understand how people can take advantage of their parents like this.

I would just like to say , thank you ....thank you ... thank you!!!!  I applaud you for having the courage to take care of your mother. Alzheimer's is a devastating illness, that in my opinion is hardest on the family member's. I volunteer in a nursing home, and frequently see patient's family's leaving in tear's. It's really hard for some to have to introduce themselves to there parent's over and over. It sound's like to me that your brother's had an understandingly hard time, and wanted to remember their mother as perfect. And only from life experience can i say the following.... I think it is harder for men to watch there parent's deterierate. I think as women we assume the cargiver role with more ease. I know it's hard to not be angry & resentful, but try not to let the memory of your mother be contaminated with prickly feelings.

 

wishing you all the best from canada!!  

 
January 10, 2007, 9:46 am CST

Moochers can't exist w/o us

MOOCHERS mooch because they're ALLOWED to. They couldn't exist without us. If we start using our heads and close our wallets, they would either starve or work. So they'd work. I guarantee that!

 

What  a waste of a show. The moochers can't exist without their "victims." The "victims" get something out of what they do or they wouldn't continue to do it. Smarten up, People, and take the victim label off your foreheads!

 
January 10, 2007, 9:47 am CST

who's horrid???

Quote From: ceildh1

I wonder how he managed to evict his Mother out of her own home ?  Wow, that's horrid.

But why do we keep revisiting these useless creatures ( the Moochers I mean ), the answer is too easy, get them out of your life.  DNA means nothing, sharing a last name, nothing  if you allow it, it will happen.

I have in laws like this, they haven't spoken to myself or my husband for three years, since his father passed, why ? Quite simple, we WILL NOT support them or their kids, we watched helplessly as they DRAINED my FIL financially and emotionally, at 72, he was put in a position that he was raising four more kids, who themselves were brought up to think the world revolved around them.  Now the only one they speak to is my one BIL who can and WILL support them, and raise their kids for them, do I feel sorry for him, a resounding NO, that is his CHOICE.

As guilty as she will feel, Grandma has to get them OUT of her home, they will be forced to either Get a JOB, or lose their kids, her DIL I wonder is she just as useless, or is she supporting the lump she married ?

Yes we will ALWAYS be their parents, but there comes a day where we HAVE to let them fly on their own, not pick up their messes, be there as support and a shoulder, but ultimitly, they HAVE to learn to clean up after themselves, 18 okay boarderline adult, but 33, come on.  But one thing I have seen, is that these parents are getting something out of this, or they've been buying their kids their whole lives, but think about this, what happens when the gravy train DIES ? It will happen, and then these people are left with NOTHING, and no one to look after them, hmmmm, maybe they'll be lucky enough to have a brother that will clean up for them.

I think your message is a little cinical!!! it absolutly mean's something to share DNA. My children are very closely attached to my heart string's & i would never want them to suffer. These problem's started long before these people were adult's. I don't agree with people mooching off family, but i do think they had a little help in learning how to manipulate. Have you ever heard that saying... " what we fear, we create" be careful. I trust that i am raising my family to be very self sufficient.

 

cheer's from canada

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Next | Last