Topic : 06/11 Mega Moochers

No, a lot cynical, really, I would gladly DIE for my kids, but if the DNA meant so much, how do adoptive parents fall just as much in love as the biological ones do.

Besides, I was trying to make this point, DNA does NOT give anyone the right to treat someone like DIRT, or steal thier home, that was the point I was making.

I don't fear my kids mooching, because they know it won't happen.  My sixteen year old has a part time job, she's saving some, and using some for fun ( where we live they roll up the streets by six), my son at fourteen earns money by doing odd jobs in the winter (snow shoveling this years been rough for him, or cleaning out the garden shed etc. )in the summer he works on the local farms.

I've already told both that I will be living in a one bedroom apartment when the leave home, I will always be there for them, but my financial OBLIGATIONS END technically when they are 18 years of age, after that its MY CHOICE.

And I know from experience what Moochers are capable of, and how they suck you into their world, so cynical, okay I'll take it, Jaded I admit, and a hardened realist too boot !

When I read your post, I had to register and respond to you. 

I think that you and your husband had good intentions and all but it makes me angry to hear what you are going through now.  I am sure you are in a difficult position with this but you guys have got to stand together and set up some boundaries.  I am working through some stuff myself with boundaries right now with my family.  It can be tough to do but you have got to take care of you and your family.  I am talking about your marriage and children.

I would have to tell your in-laws that enough is enough.  Give them a timeframe and tell them that you are sorry but they have got to go.  I would have to tell them that you have opened your home to them long enough and that it does not seem that they appreciate it but expect things from you now.

To answer your question:  Should I have to support my inlaws?    NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I could understand if there was an illness involved but this man sounds able-bodied but just plain lazy.  Seriously, there are jobs out there.  They might not be exactly what he wants, but he can still look while he is supporting himself and wife.

Please, for the sake of your family, get together with your husband and stand up for yourselves.  You are within your rights to stop this insanity and take your lives back.  Sit them down and tell them that they have x amount of time (please make it short) and that they have to make other arrangements.

People think you are mean when you set boundaries and stick to it, but believe me, it is for your own good and theirs.  It may be hard at first, but they will get over it.

I feel for you and you have someone in your corner.  I know you were trying to do the right thing.

I have a different view of this.  I believe the mom, grandmom found a young guy and decided to dump out her son and grandchildren so she could have the house or sell the house to keep this dopey looking loser.  Note the young studs hair and dopey mannerisms.  Some women will do anything for a piece of young A++.  I really think its rotten of her to allow her son to live in her home for months and suddenly tell him to leave without skills and three young children in tow.  After all, she raised him.  Why didnt she stress education to him while growing up.  Its very expensive to live today with a family even on two incomes.  Lets be real.  Its not nice to dump your son and grandkids out into the streeet so you can have some young sex.  Whats this guy after anyway with an old fat lady?

I can relate to the fact that it is hard to hold down a job with back issues.  Some folks can and do suck it up and deal with it and keep on pushing through the pain.  Some people can't and possible get into a woe is me rut and is overwhelmed by the whole dilemma and give up trying.  

I am 51 yrs old and have had 2 back surgeries, I have permanent brain damage from an accident and multiple other issues from a life of hard work and farm life.  I have tried and tried for years to "suck it up" and keep going, situation for me is that if you are HONEST on an application noone will hire me and IF I get stopped driving on the medications I must take to be mobile I will be arrested for DUI as some are made to make you sleep or relaxed and there is 9 different meds total I take each day.    I was lucky to have a kind mom when I was younger who helped me and when I got a settlement for the accidents she helped to get me established in my own home and get it paid for.   I am much older now and am much more disabled and I was KILLING myself to keep a job I had for 5 years when my husband got sick.  My boss gave me a leave of absence to take care of him till he died then let some time pass telling me there was no openings yet then after a year told me he wouldn't re-hire me.   I have NO other options so to pay my bills I am selling my household goods month by month.   What the bottom line here is that there CAN be circumstances beyond ones control that prevent life to go smoothly. 

I'm just sayin...........

S