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Topic : 06/22 Settle This!

Number of Replies: 321
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Created on : Friday, January 05, 2007, 10:52:36 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/12/07) How many times have you heard your spouse say, "I'm right, and you're wrong"? Dr. Phil's guests are in a stand-off, and they want him to settle their dispute once and for all! Carla says her dog, Thomas, is her number one priority, but her husband, Tony, says she's gone way overboard with her puppy love. Tony says that Thomas gets the run of the house, and Carla cuddles with Thomas in bed instead of him. Should Carla make room for Tony, or does Tony need to get over his canine envy? Next up is a family caught in a style war. Betty lets her 15- and 11-year-old daughters wear short shorts, high heels and thong underwear. Her husband, Richie, says he'd rather see them covered from head to toe. Does Richie need to get with the times and realize these girls are just dressing in style, or has Betty let the girls take it too far? Then, Christine says her husband, Kevin, is out five nights a week playing or coaching sports, leaving her home with their 1-year-old son. Kevin says he deserves to get away from the ruckus of a chaotic household, and Christine knew he was a jock when they got married. Can Kevin learn to say no to others and yes to his wife and child? And, Lisa says her husband, Erik's, passion for flying is too dangerous, and he needs to give it up now that they have three young sons. Erik says flying is in his blood and it’s safer than driving a car. When Dr. Phil shares a personal story, will it put Lisa at ease? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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January 6, 2007, 5:48 pm CST

01/12 Settle This!

Quote From: amyham12

My husband works 24 hour shifts 2 days a week. The other five days that he is home he spends every evening at the fire department. (for at least three hours at a time) So that means 7 nights a week he is not home with me and our three children. He says I knew he was a fireman when we met so I should put up with it.  But he is just hanging out there. He is not doing any work. I say he needs to spend more time at home. And I am with the children every night of the week. When I go to PTA meetings the kids have to come because he needs to go to the fire department and they can't come with him. Am I right or am I being too controling?

you are not controling... he had the children too.. and it is his responsibility to be there too ya he was a fireman when you meet.. but you didn't have children when you meet either so what is his point of that remark.. he can make kids and not share the responsibilty of raising them with you.. if you want to do it alone you would be alone...he need to be there for you too.. you need a break from doing everything with them to

 

 
January 6, 2007, 5:51 pm CST

01/12 Settle This!

Quote From: robinann57

This is one show I am going to have to watch! I am in the same situation but I will not allow the dog to sleep in my bed or be in my room. I am allergic and that is the only room I have to get away. This dog runs my husbands life. We have had her for six years now. I only agreed to her when our other was stolen and my husband cried for months. And I only agreed if this dog did not become like the other one. But she is WORSE! My husband cannot go to the bathroom without this dog sitting at the door waiting, she is the first thing he says hello to in the morning and when he comes home from work. My daughter has gotten to the point where she dislikes the dog. He puts down a peepad for her and she craps all over the place. This has gone on for six years! If she does anything wrong he does not scold her, he uses a sweet tone with her and babies her. He cannot sit down to eat, sit down to talk, sit down to play computer without having his hands all over her! And I mean all over her. I told him why doesn't he just make love to her. I do not think there is anyone worse off with a dog and spouse than I am.....I could go on and on. You would be shocked. I feel for this person....I really do!
i love people who love there dogs and animals whatever they would be.. i love mine. 
 
January 6, 2007, 6:55 pm CST

01/12 Settle This!

I have to say "that would be the day a DOG came between my husband and I", and we have TWO of them.  But there are people in this world who use their companion animals as just that, their soul companions, and treat them BETTER than most of us treat our kids.  If they only understood exactly what they were doing to the dog.

Dogs are pack animals okay we all know that, but what most people don't understand is that the dogs look to us for LEADERSHIP, not equality.  In any dog pack there are alpha male and female, now that they are domesticated that becomes US, and they NEED to know that.

Spoiled dogs ( and the dog people can go on all they want) are ANNOYING.  Any dog trainer or breeder understands that, how many champion show dogs do you see jumping all over people trying to lick them, how many of the agility dogs do you see sitting there because they don't FEELlike doing it ( okay some have, I remember one border collie who stopped dead in the tunnel and decided to take a nap ).  There is NOTHING worse than going into someone's home and having Fido jumping all over me, mine are trained not to, also NO LICKING the face, if it can lick its butt, I don't want it licking my face, EWWWW.  Oh yeah, and as for their mouths being cleaner than ours, MYTH, Google it.

Spoiled dogs are looking for leadership, they tend to be nippy out of not knowing how to react to people or other dogs from a lack of socialization, lack of training makes a dog tense and nervous ( oh yeah, the reason you shouldn't let a dog sleep with you, the Alpha sleeps in their own space in any dog pack).  Dogs are NOT human and they are NOT children, we need to get over that, they need structure and dicipline , but most of all they need to know who Alpha is to become well adjusted dogs that are a PLEASURE to be around, even for the non-dog people.

Keep in mind some people are allergic, and some don't want your precious pooch all over them, and there are people who are absolutly PHOBIC of dogs, and your spoiled hyped up whatever, could mean years of therapy.

You are LIABLE if your pampered pet bites someone out of nervousness or just getting away with it with you, oh yeah and peeing and defecating all over the house is not only DISGUSTING, but a great way to spread intestinal parasites to your family, not to mention bacteria that can make you ill, HOUSEBREAKING will NOT kill or traumitize the dog.

But I wonder what the problem is when we forget about the human members of our families for the four legged ones? Don't get me wrong I LOVE my dogs ( and five cats, husband and two kids, I have a zoo), but if the house were burning, the animals are on their own until I am sure my kids are out.

Treat your dogs like dogs, they are NOT human, they will be much happier for it.

 
January 6, 2007, 7:17 pm CST

01/12 Settle This!

Quote From: visc98fam

I am a mother of 2 boys but I also work in the school system in my county.  I am very frustrated that this mother would let her daughters wear such clothing especially to school.  I know that I have no daughters but if I did I wouldn't go that far.  Everyday I see beautiful young girls with this type of clothing on and it really makes them look "ugly".  If they want to wear it at home that is fine but in public and to school I say "NO".  It is a distraction to everyone around them.  Let them be children and quite trying to make them grow up too fast and mom needs to learn how to quit trying to live through her children.  I agree with dad on this one!!

I too work for my local School Board and I can say my daughter is NOT dressed like many of her peers ( and before you say well she can change at school, sure she could, but the humiliation of mom marching her back to change again would be too much, I'm there every day ).

So I wonder who has control of the cash and credit cards in those homes ?  Really, why would you ALLOW your child to go out looking like a hooker for the sake of "fashion", do you want her to attract the guys like Toms in heat ?  Do you want her to think that all she is is a "BODY" to be ogled, and that its better to be pretty and sexy than smart ?

It's really sad that this is what its come to, young girls thinking they need to run around half naked at ELEVEN, high heels and makeup at the same age instead of just being kids they are being sexualized as CHILDREN, and yet we wring our hands helplessly and wonder why teen pregnancy and promiscuity are up.

 
January 6, 2007, 7:36 pm CST

It's all about dog vs man!!

Quote From: robinann57

This is one show I am going to have to watch! I am in the same situation but I will not allow the dog to sleep in my bed or be in my room. I am allergic and that is the only room I have to get away. This dog runs my husbands life. We have had her for six years now. I only agreed to her when our other was stolen and my husband cried for months. And I only agreed if this dog did not become like the other one. But she is WORSE! My husband cannot go to the bathroom without this dog sitting at the door waiting, she is the first thing he says hello to in the morning and when he comes home from work. My daughter has gotten to the point where she dislikes the dog. He puts down a peepad for her and she craps all over the place. This has gone on for six years! If she does anything wrong he does not scold her, he uses a sweet tone with her and babies her. He cannot sit down to eat, sit down to talk, sit down to play computer without having his hands all over her! And I mean all over her. I told him why doesn't he just make love to her. I do not think there is anyone worse off with a dog and spouse than I am.....I could go on and on. You would be shocked. I feel for this person....I really do!

After reading all the complaints from the spouse of an animal lover...  NO WONDER YOUR SPOUSE IS HUGGING THE DOG!  Man could learn quite a bit about being human by watching the dog.  My dogs are my protectors, they can sense someone that is "mean" in character their barking stops when the person leaves.  They can sense an animal lover and shower he/her with kisses.  They will never disappoint me, always are at the door when I return home or come in from the yard. They don't ask me to be someone I'm not. They accept just as I am and allow me

to live as I choose.They don't gossip about everyone, they don't lie, cheat, and are not unscrupulous.  My dogs have never criticized me, told me I was gaining weight, they have always been flattering passing me compliments with the hugs and kisses.  I make them "happy", they have never been unfaithful to me, they never indulged in alcohol,  drugs nor smoked.  They love being with me .. as I love being with them.  My dogs have never put me on a guilt trip, nor made me feel inferior, have never bullied me, have never been over bearing, or sexist.  My dogs look to me for their leadership.  They accept me as their "leader" of their pack. They love me unconditionally and I love them for all the freedom they give me.

 

My sister never understood that my dogs could tell she and especially her man friend didn't like any thing on four legs.  It took over a year for my dogs to accept her into my home .. her friend that never happened.  So can you imagine how much they see of me. The way my sister has treated me over the last 6 years or better .. I'd say my dogs are a good judge of character.

 

So for those that are gripping about a spouse that "you" think gives a dog too much attention. Maybe you could take some lessons from that dog! Look at all the love your spouse is getting with no complaints from the dog.  Start with accepting your spouse as they are not as you want them. That dog isn't asking them to change anything.  To start with quit the complaining..  "Can't we all just get along?"  Wow!

 
January 6, 2007, 8:40 pm CST

Canine family members

Carla, hang on to your dog!  Your other half needs to get over his obvious childish jealousy and admit he is not a dog person.  You on the other hand need to realize not everyone considers the family pet as a family member.  There is and can be a happy medium found if both of you are willing.

 

I found out long ago, I much prefer the company of my dogs to the company of most people I know and have met.   They are always glad to see me, they don't complain, nag or bitch about things, they are not judgmental and don't argue.  It does not matter to them where they are going as long as they are going with me.  My friends know how I feel and accept this as who I am.  Most family members know and understand or at least accept,  but the ones that don't and have made remarks, well, I no longer have any contact with them nor to I intend to.  I am divorced and date seldom and this is personal preference for me.  I would not consider even dating someone that had even the smallest qualm about my dogs. 

 

I do realize some people see dogs as 'just a pet' not a member of the family and don't have a problem with them being this way as long as the family pet is taken care of and not mistreated in any way.  What I do have a problem with is someone that sees pets as a disposable commodity and mistreats the pet, someone that wants to breed a dog 'just so the kids can see pups being born', that is not a reason to breed dogs.   If you are not a breeder then spay or neuter your animal. 

 

 

 
January 6, 2007, 10:36 pm CST

parental lunacy

  Don't parents realize that people who are amused by little girls wearing sexy clothes are often pedophiles? Allowing a child to leave the house dressed in a provocative way is like a flashing neon sign to the people who would abuse/harm those children.      I BEG those parents who have been allowing it to protect your children.  Don't allow them to be vulnerable to the predators that kind of dress attracts, or to look foolish or unloved, which they do when they are allowed to dress inappropriately.    
 
January 6, 2007, 11:29 pm CST

poor Dr. Phil

 I don't know how you do it Dr. Phil?.Because my wife is right about everything and I willing to admit it even when I think she is wrong and she can be very wrong sometimes but I'm not going to tell her she is wrong,because I been married for a little over 30 years my wife is a great person.You might ask me whats so great about your wife,and I can tell you that If she can put up with my mom she has to be great,and besides that I love her,And after being with the same woman since 1975 Im not going to tell her that she is wrong about anything im going to agree to just about everything she says.Hey I found out it took me about 5 or 10 years or maybe a little longer.If you want to get along with the one you love then don't try picking talking fights the wife is always right even when she knows she wrong
 
January 7, 2007, 5:55 am CST

Teens and their clothes.

I am the grandmother of a soon to be 15 year old and her Mom lets her dress any way she wants.  I think some mothers want to be their daughters friend instead of the parent.  The high schools and middle schools should have a dress code and the students should be made to follow it.  My granddaughter goes to Pam Beach Central in Florida, where they wear whatever they want.  Their clothes are tight,  low cut with thair breast visible to all.  They wear belly shirts,  mini skirts, and enough gold jewelry to even embarass Mr. T.  Yes, they all have cell phones, Ipods, and digital cameras (where they take pictures and display them on myspace. 

I told my daughter that she needs to get her head out of the ground (like an oestrich) and pay attention to what her daughter is wearing, who her friends are and what she does.  However, this resulted in her not talking to me anymore. 

 
January 7, 2007, 8:24 am CST

pets vs. spouses

 Hello, Everyone! I am writing in regard to the woman who prefers the company of her dog

over her spouse.

 I am really glad I don't have to fight with my hubby over our animals. We both grew up in households where the pets were part of the family. I, myself, always had animals around, and

I adore them,  whether its a Mouse or a Moose!!  

 We are in our late 20's, and have been married one year. We both want children very much, but

have not been blessed with kids yet. We do, however, have 1 dog, Maya, who we spoil, much like if she was our child! Admittedly, we also allow her to sleep in our bed with us at night.

When she was a puppy, she would lie on the floor, but that didn't last very long!

In addition to our dog, we also have 3 cats.  And, my hubby and I have never argued on the subject of our animals.  We just think of the pets as kind of an extension of our love for each other.

  Cassie

 
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