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Topic : 06/22 Settle This!

Number of Replies: 321
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Created on : Friday, January 05, 2007, 10:52:36 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/12/07) How many times have you heard your spouse say, "I'm right, and you're wrong"? Dr. Phil's guests are in a stand-off, and they want him to settle their dispute once and for all! Carla says her dog, Thomas, is her number one priority, but her husband, Tony, says she's gone way overboard with her puppy love. Tony says that Thomas gets the run of the house, and Carla cuddles with Thomas in bed instead of him. Should Carla make room for Tony, or does Tony need to get over his canine envy? Next up is a family caught in a style war. Betty lets her 15- and 11-year-old daughters wear short shorts, high heels and thong underwear. Her husband, Richie, says he'd rather see them covered from head to toe. Does Richie need to get with the times and realize these girls are just dressing in style, or has Betty let the girls take it too far? Then, Christine says her husband, Kevin, is out five nights a week playing or coaching sports, leaving her home with their 1-year-old son. Kevin says he deserves to get away from the ruckus of a chaotic household, and Christine knew he was a jock when they got married. Can Kevin learn to say no to others and yes to his wife and child? And, Lisa says her husband, Erik's, passion for flying is too dangerous, and he needs to give it up now that they have three young sons. Erik says flying is in his blood and it’s safer than driving a car. When Dr. Phil shares a personal story, will it put Lisa at ease? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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January 6, 2007, 6:56 am CST

my husband the firefighter

My husband works 24 hour shifts 2 days a week. The other five days that he is home he spends every evening at the fire department. (for at least three hours at a time) So that means 7 nights a week he is not home with me and our three children. He says I knew he was a fireman when we met so I should put up with it.  But he is just hanging out there. He is not doing any work. I say he needs to spend more time at home. And I am with the children every night of the week. When I go to PTA meetings the kids have to come because he needs to go to the fire department and they can't come with him. Am I right or am I being too controling?
 
January 6, 2007, 9:22 am CST

Mom choice in clothes

I am a mother of 2 boys but I also work in the school system in my county.  I am very frustrated that this mother would let her daughters wear such clothing especially to school.  I know that I have no daughters but if I did I wouldn't go that far.  Everyday I see beautiful young girls with this type of clothing on and it really makes them look "ugly".  If they want to wear it at home that is fine but in public and to school I say "NO".  It is a distraction to everyone around them.  Let them be children and quite trying to make them grow up too fast and mom needs to learn how to quit trying to live through her children.  I agree with dad on this one!!

 
January 6, 2007, 10:48 am CST

Settle This

This is one show I am going to have to watch! I am in the same situation but I will not allow the dog to sleep in my bed or be in my room. I am allergic and that is the only room I have to get away. This dog runs my husbands life. We have had her for six years now. I only agreed to her when our other was stolen and my husband cried for months. And I only agreed if this dog did not become like the other one. But she is WORSE! My husband cannot go to the bathroom without this dog sitting at the door waiting, she is the first thing he says hello to in the morning and when he comes home from work. My daughter has gotten to the point where she dislikes the dog. He puts down a peepad for her and she craps all over the place. This has gone on for six years! If she does anything wrong he does not scold her, he uses a sweet tone with her and babies her. He cannot sit down to eat, sit down to talk, sit down to play computer without having his hands all over her! And I mean all over her. I told him why doesn't he just make love to her. I do not think there is anyone worse off with a dog and spouse than I am.....I could go on and on. You would be shocked. I feel for this person....I really do!
 
January 6, 2007, 12:57 pm CST

I feel for you

Quote From: amyham12

My husband works 24 hour shifts 2 days a week. The other five days that he is home he spends every evening at the fire department. (for at least three hours at a time) So that means 7 nights a week he is not home with me and our three children. He says I knew he was a fireman when we met so I should put up with it.  But he is just hanging out there. He is not doing any work. I say he needs to spend more time at home. And I am with the children every night of the week. When I go to PTA meetings the kids have to come because he needs to go to the fire department and they can't come with him. Am I right or am I being too controling?
 Next time you have a meeting hire a babysitter and then another time maybe go out to a movie with some friends.  You could also do fun things with your kids and maybe your husband would decide that he'd like to join you. If not , his loss. Your husband sounds incredibly selfish but you may be letting him get away with it. I know I've been there. My ex husband would do the most selfish things and leave me with the kids. For me divorce was the end result, I hope that doesn't happen to you, but mostly to your children, they suffer the most. But try some marriage counseling even if you have to go alone. And no way are you being controling, you are right he does need to be home more. Maybe he could give you, for a starter, 2 nights a week and see what happens.
 
January 6, 2007, 1:17 pm CST

Hell no!

Quote From: amyham12

My husband works 24 hour shifts 2 days a week. The other five days that he is home he spends every evening at the fire department. (for at least three hours at a time) So that means 7 nights a week he is not home with me and our three children. He says I knew he was a fireman when we met so I should put up with it.  But he is just hanging out there. He is not doing any work. I say he needs to spend more time at home. And I am with the children every night of the week. When I go to PTA meetings the kids have to come because he needs to go to the fire department and they can't come with him. Am I right or am I being too controling?
NO, you are not being too controlling!  I think your husband needs to grow up some and be there for you and your children.  He is a firefighter, but he is a husband and father first.   Maybe he loves hte comraderie of being at the fire house, so one night a week when he is not working would be good.   If that's the night you have PTA meetings or anything else you need or want to do, hire a sitter, you deserve it!  Good luck!
 
January 6, 2007, 1:20 pm CST

Mom, what are you thinking?

Quote From: visc98fam

I am a mother of 2 boys but I also work in the school system in my county.  I am very frustrated that this mother would let her daughters wear such clothing especially to school.  I know that I have no daughters but if I did I wouldn't go that far.  Everyday I see beautiful young girls with this type of clothing on and it really makes them look "ugly".  If they want to wear it at home that is fine but in public and to school I say "NO".  It is a distraction to everyone around them.  Let them be children and quite trying to make them grow up too fast and mom needs to learn how to quit trying to live through her children.  I agree with dad on this one!!

I don't think covering them from head to toe is the answer or realistic, but to allow her daughters to dress trashy and look like hookers just because "it's in", which I don't believe for a second,is just ridiculous and asking for trouble!
 
January 6, 2007, 3:36 pm CST

Right On!!!

Quote From: visc98fam

I am a mother of 2 boys but I also work in the school system in my county.  I am very frustrated that this mother would let her daughters wear such clothing especially to school.  I know that I have no daughters but if I did I wouldn't go that far.  Everyday I see beautiful young girls with this type of clothing on and it really makes them look "ugly".  If they want to wear it at home that is fine but in public and to school I say "NO".  It is a distraction to everyone around them.  Let them be children and quite trying to make them grow up too fast and mom needs to learn how to quit trying to live through her children.  I agree with dad on this one!!

Just because something is currently in fashion does not mean that it is approrpriate to wear.  In the early 1970's, when I was in my late teens and early 20's, I wore micro-mini-skirts almost everywhere, not to mention those very "cute" hot pants.  When the mini-skirts came back into fashion a few years ago,  I never even considered acquiring one.  Been there, done that!!! What was okay in my 20's is not okay in my 50's.
 
January 6, 2007, 3:39 pm CST

01/12 Settle This!

Quote From: visc98fam

I am a mother of 2 boys but I also work in the school system in my county.  I am very frustrated that this mother would let her daughters wear such clothing especially to school.  I know that I have no daughters but if I did I wouldn't go that far.  Everyday I see beautiful young girls with this type of clothing on and it really makes them look "ugly".  If they want to wear it at home that is fine but in public and to school I say "NO".  It is a distraction to everyone around them.  Let them be children and quite trying to make them grow up too fast and mom needs to learn how to quit trying to live through her children.  I agree with dad on this one!!

I agree wholheartedly, I have 13 year old daughter and we're always in the war of the clothes. I think moms like this one are partly to blame for that. Because SHE doesn't want to parent and She wants to be the cool mom, her kids go to school dressed like tramps then, parents like me have an even bigger uphill battle to fight. My daughter's skirts have to be a respectable length and she's not allowed low- riders or crop tops
 
January 6, 2007, 3:46 pm CST

Four things....

I have a beloved Great Dane, but he is not my number one priority - my husband is. I love my dog, whom I have raised from a pup and have had since before I was married to my husband. However, I am not married to my dog. My dog is well-fed, well cared-for and loved, but he does NOT run my household. He is not allowed on the sofas or chairs, and especially not in the bedroom.

 

Anyone who would let their 11- and 15-year-old daughters dress in short skirts, high heels and (visible) thong underwear is just asking for a teen pregnancy from one or both. It is perfectly possible for the girls to dress in stylish clothes that don't scream sex at everyone. If Betty doesn't do something to help her girls dress a little better, she might find herself on the Maury Povich show in the future looking for the father of her grandchild....

 

How is it that ONE child makes a 'chaotic household'? This fellow Kevin sounds like he's just looking for ANY excuse to run out of the house and be with his buddies. He sounds like the advanced-age ex-husband I had...

 

Erik needs to get a clue. Flying is not in anyone's blood unless they are a bird.

 
January 6, 2007, 4:36 pm CST

Animal Lover

I'm a single widow and sure glad I don't have to deal with a whiney spouse being jealous of the animals.  When I was married we had horses, dogs, cat, and our animals were part of the family, and so much easier to deal with than children. I'm single in my own place, and I love my cat very much.  I wouldn't think of letting any man come between me and my cat (kid.) 
 
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