Topic : Over 60 WLC Community

I don't know what is going on that my long message of yesterday was sent twice. I have sent e mails to some of you to see if you are getting them..and now I am showing no email rec'd on my peoplepc and gmail accounts..again..probably ppc..and tomorrow I will check it..also this site loads so slowly..parts of it..diane

Computers can be a mixed blessing.

 

:) Andiepie17

   What a terrible experience you had with those rude dysfunctional people!  What a miserable life they must have to lash out at a stranger that way.  It is an isolated incident ~ please try to put it out of your mind.

I am so glad you have your new computer up and running.  Dr Phil can be a difficult site at times.  I just don't  know how people navigate it without high speed.  Also if you had high speed there are so many ways to download the programs you want to see and hear.  I have favorite radio stations I listen to all the time while working on the computer.  I also often watch a favorite show on the computer after it is aired.  the computer screen is actually a better view than the TV sometimes.  You can get a very basic satellite setup for around 20- 25 a month that would give you the stations you would like on TV.  I have answered your email (with the new address) sorry you have not got it.  I would suggest you get your computer neighbor to check that out for you.  You probably have something in the mail setup that is blocking them and he can adjust that.

I have been sick off and on for a week with diarrhea.  This is not the way to  lose weight!  I think it is an adjustment I need to make with my diet and all the new meds the doctor has me on.  My food supply is heavy on fiber and I need to cut that back now.  Right now I am drinking chicken broth.  I also believe the stress of trying to sell the house is getting to me.  I do have a Realtor for those that ask but I still have to have things in order when people look.  I feel it is the worst time possible to be selling right now and am about to pull it off the market.  I have extra rooms I could rent out to meet expenses until Spring when the market might be better.  I also would like to paint and fix a few things and of course my garden in the Spring is a much better selling point! 

Then when I think of finding livable roommates I start to think about my daughter and grandson who will need somewhere when he is released on Thanksgiving.  He is torn between his mother me, and his no account stepfather.  I know he wants to live here where he feels safe from the elements that might pull him down.  I know his mother really wants to have him with her.  she rents a room from someone right now.  It was a catastrophe last time we tried living together but I may be willing to set down and work out an agreement with her one more time.  She has stayed at the same job for eight months now.  I would be able to keep my house.  I would keep the master bedroom and bath for me.   I hardly ever use the living room, dining and kitchen.  She likes  to cook and could use those rooms for watching TV and such.  I just would have to have strict restrictions on her friends.  My son living with me now might not agree to living with his sister again after their big fall out last time,  but then he is almost finished with his schooling and capable of locating somewhere else if he chooses (I would rent his room to someone else)  Sorta having a boarding house I guess.  But I would be able to keep my house.  Daughter and grandson could be a big help in fixing things up around here,  including the garden.  I am not alone in my financial woes ~all the financial institutions in America seem to be right there with me! All the politicians in an uproar over what we saw coming for years!

I will try to post more often.  Love to all Joyce

Good to see you post! and to connect with you..I saw a message from you, so one got through it was an attachment..my daughter and I agree that there are so many blocking things on the security factor on this computer that many places I want to get to are not there..I looked for an instruction book..NOT...and yes, Joyce, we could all see it coming..I want more accountability..spelled out in alphabet way if necessary..oversite..and of course the falseness of local tax bases on inflated appraisal of houses..that's a big one.

Has it been 8 mos. that your daughter as held her job..great. news..gosh, Joyce, as in all  our personal ongoing experiences, no one can advise you but you..

How capable are both daughter and Josh of making a contract with you and keeping it?...and for how long..I think contracts with them would have to have renegotiate clauses...Would they really be able to afford to pay you rent? Or their costs..

As to stress, I can certainly understand that of having to keep the house up for showing to perspective buyers...I know that you know finances..I also know that there is reason for keeping environment stable during changing times..Haven't I been doing that?

I wrote to my old attorney to ask specifically about a time limit..and also to ask other questions..explained why I had not gone to court..and remember when my stomach gave out and mysterious virus with 2 percent nerve non functioning on one leg resulting in a fall...I still seek that gut feeling that says, now go..now do..and really what I call "God's timing"...I know it when it happens..and I go..

He also did not answer how much does he charge and could I hire him..just reiterated that I had to go to Penn.. That seems so expensive and still doesn't seem quite right..He also didn't  seem too pleased about my finding out the law of reciprocity..that's my muddle..however, I can stay here until the end of this year if all other things stay as they are..I do have a feeling that I will be going south on this matter sometime during this year..and if Tedd pulls the plug completely then I have to take action immediately.

Joyce, you want to keep your house until Spring at least..right?

What changes do you think you are capable of making in a breathing space of time that would enable you to keep living in your house and taking care of it.?

I read somewhere that we are all being programmed to think there is a problem and to find a solution..well,I don't know if that is true..however, there are different ways to approach what is..Is Josh going to have some kind of reporting in to do..some support after he gets out? Is your daughter even able to have him come to live with her?? Are you better off finding some other housemate..another woman or man with good references and steady work who could pay you a decent rent..You have the military base there..are there people looking for rooms..???

We have the Navy Base here and the war college..and people rent on a 3 mos..or 6mos. basis..the apartment connected to the house next door has been rented many times..the base of course is good insurance of being paid..The people rent 2 rooms and a bath..Making really a sitting room with microwave and stove top a few cabinets and a sink..and a bedroom and a separate entrance..It has worked out very well for them..and very reliable..and some really nice tenants.

My neighbor Bob rents out the third floor of his house..which is a bedroom large closet area and a bath with kitchen privileges..and his tenant pays almost half the rent.. Bob could not afford to stay there otherwise..and hashappily been doing this for over 5 years..He knew his tenant for several years before..

Because you are a woman you want to make sure of references...long term.

Your son who has been a good tenant for you..and helpful..It would be a shame to antagonize him and upset that relationship..He's proven trustworthy..

I see this as a situation which offers lots of opportunity for exploration of possibilities..and it is your situation, and your area and environment..and your decisions..which you can reassess, and you can also change your mind..remember, it used to be spoken of as a "woman's perogative". More and new information requires a reassessment...Why is it I see many family conferences..private ones with you..gather the info JoYce..you are the priority..Your daughter sounds as though she is doing well..she's the one whose life I would be hesitant to change..I hope she has counselling available to her..

There are really no children involved here..even Josh is grownup..andI know from experience grown children definitely have their own ideas..and seem to rebel against any ideas that we other adults have..at least do not conform to them...I haven't found that they respect adult to adult behavior when it involves a mother...My eldest insists on calling me Mommie..Mother is not acceptable to her..and boy does that make me feel odd..she's going to be 50 in May..

Ideally, a compatible house mate with good income, reliable and clean.with whom you sign a lease and from whom you get a deposit..Your real estate agent should be able to help you with that..or better yet..a lawyer..hopefully, one who does not charge for the advice..seek AARP locally..or state capital. A tenant.who loves to putter around a house..or at least pays you enough that you could hire someone..doesn't that sound good..so that you don't have to attempt to do that which you can no longer realistically do..carry things etc..like pools..and

by the by dear friend..How are your knees?  Ihope you are contacting your doctor about the diarhea..med changes start with her..and she should be informed of any bodily changes..and about this stress..it has changed..you have more to think about..I love you Joyce..thanks for sending..I will send to you..hugs, diane

 

 

Fellow sixty-ites, I'm so happy to tell you I've lost one of the pounds I gained on vacation.  I'm down to 120.5  pounds!  Just need to get lose 1.5 pounds, and I'll be back down to 119, my goal weight.

 

:) Andiepie17

 

(177/ 119/ 120.5)

HI, Everyone.  It's been so long and I'm so sorry that I haven't posted.  It seems like life takes over and that's not always a good thing.  I keep hoping that one day I'll grow up and learn that I should be in charge of my own life, not the other way around.  I have been "lurking" however, and checking to see how everyone's doing.  I miss you all. 

 

Diane, I had to respond to that horrific incident you suffered.  Those people don't deserve to be able to walk the streets, let alone to hurt you that way.  I wonder if this type of incident could leave you prone to some form of post traumatic stress disorder.  Please take care of yourself and please know that there are people in your world who don't look at your age, but hear your wise, wonderful words and think that you are amazing!

 

Joyce, "Hi!"  I think that Diane was right-on when she mentioned finding a suitable roommate.  I have a number of friends who are now either divorced or widowed and in order to keep their homes, they rented out space in their homes.  In some cases, family moved in with them.  In almost all cases, they made sure to lay out rules beforehand and it made their lives so much more comfortable.  It's a lot easier dealing with situations that come up, when the ground rules have been set early on.  And in many cases, my friends came to appreciate the company of their roommates.  If you do have to move, I know that you will have the strength to see it through and start again.  It's your turn.

 

Stay well.  Will try to get back here real soon.

 

Love,

Ellen

 

 

 

It's so good to hear from you.

 

:) Andiepie17

 

 

Thanks, Andie and congratulations on keeping your weight in a normal range.  That's maintenance and you're there!!!!!!!  You are such an inspiration.  I'm trying!!!!!                                                                                      

Ellen, good to hear from you..it's been a while, but so good to find out people still lurk..i really thought the board was a goner..would hate that..

Joyce, hope you are a happy camper, free of diahrea..feeling good..

Guess we've all been on a media rollercoaster, and wondering just what this "bailout" is truly all about..i'd never make a deal without the specific information upfront..such as where is this money going..for how long..how is it going to be paid back, penalties if it isn't..etc. So since I feel no comfort from the news, nor the election..will not talk about that.

The air here is DAMP..has been rainy..men are digging up the street for the 2nd week..now they are digging up what they dug up and filled at the end of last week..and a steam shovel has been going bang bang outside my windows..the pans in the kitchen shook. cut no dishes fell off of the shelves.

Starting again on the weight issue..this time focusing simply on that..and am doing 1200 to 1500 calories a day..and will see what happens..basic food guidelines such as good food..veggies,meat, chicken fish, whole grains fruit..and I reserve the right to use energy bars when I need low blood sugar rescue..but keep at a minimum..and 2 glasses of skim milk plus vitamins..

So , in the interests of another fall..wt. today 175..bust 41 inches, waist at waist 37 and at navel 38 and hips at 41 and a half..

And I have a book called RX for low back..my back was giving me trouble..damp pluslifting, I'm sure. However, I rode the statiionary bike..15 min. and did a breathing exercise, and 2 of the exercises..and guess what..no pain in the back or hips..being on the new computer a lot is not good for my back..and all I feel is the big gut the weight in front, bust and stomach..and I am sure that weight is a great strain on the back.

my goal this week is to ride that bike for 15 min. each day. and to do those exercises and then add more at the end of the week..another 2..

I was invited to two receptions this weekend and went to them..social person am I..One was to the NRF showing of an old house just restored out at the farm..policeman guiding traffic..I'm glad I went in my neighbors mercedes, 10 years old but looks very posh..It was a posh event..Members of the board were there..The house is going to be rented for 3500 dollars a month..plus utilities which will be high..It is beautiful out at "The Farm"..lots of quiet..a few houses..too isolated for me..and way way out of my budget..Saw people I hadn't seen for so long..met a few new..and good to have neighbor Bob and Martha drive me out there..

The other was also an NRF event..and was at the Art Museum..again fun, though a more Presbyterian crowd..and because they did not have wine at the house, and I ate nothing..and was very happy and felt very healthy when I came home..that solved a problem for me..those receptions are cocktail hour..5 to 7..always interupts my blood sugar scheduled eating times..wine is usually dreadful and a quick buzz..stomach turning green..the next night I ate nothing, and just for remembrance had someone put a half inch of "Chardonay"..it was so green..but it certainly gave me a giggle..that night I walked up and walked home..and really regretted this bulbous weight I have put on in the past 2 years..its' mostly in the front..but I am carrying a caboose too.lol I want to get back into my Tommie Hilfiger jeans..I need to be 145 to have them fit really well..and I'm talking healthy 145.

Ellen, on that ptsd..yes, a few days..and they did shock me..but what I internalised seems to be gone..I could not have prevented that..talking about it..and recognising the power of it..writing about it..getting reinforcement..and I revisited the scene of the crime...and crime it was..seems to have made it gone forever..can't sense it in my body..

Joyce, I have on my dining room table all the stuff for divorce revisited..I am sure that part of this weight holding on is from that..because what I didn't talk about but noted was that when Tedd did what he did, removing 1000 dollars a month from my income 2 years ago, I could feel my body folding into itself to cover up...and hide me..I don't understand that in all ways..I know there was shame and fear involved..and now with my most recent letter to Sam..old attorney, I am again not pleased at the response..seems it is not law that Tedd would have to pay my court costs in Conn..the law that would be used..and I felt let down..and hurt..Sam did respond to some things, he read the letter, was sympathetic to Suzannes' plight and illness..which goes on and on..in the hospital on Sat. night again..not in good shape and the liver specialist is insistent on that surgery..the worms are up again..causing fever, and illness and pain..and the poison to kill them hurts the liver..and she has had blood clotting problems for several weeks now..that is liver related..and she is vitamin deficient from all of it..seriously..she does not want me there when she has the surgery, nor for recoup..so what plans could I make..and I have dental work, and an insurance vorever problem that I have to afford this month..Sam did not respond to my question about a time limit to sue..I have to write and ask him again..or go to another law library..and yes, fighting the giving up syndrom has been with me daily..I can only talk to God.

So, what am I really in charge of..ME..I'm going to go to every social event I am invited to..and exercise and eat well..no harm in any of that..and live..my gut says fear to a lot of that stuff..but some day all of that will be taken care of..and at the end of it..I want to be healthy and alive..

Brother John, brother Richard, the estate stuff..well where is the truth..I did talk to the bank in Tenn. and got very valuable information..the account is as it should be..no fees..and interest bearing..and Richard is planning to go to NJ as soon as he gets his new leg and sue John..

I cringe..it could kill Richard..

Do the doable..keep faith, talk to God, and love the world..w/love and hugs, diane

 

 

though I'm not sure how.  It must have been that I was so sick with the cold that I didn't feel like eating anything.  Anyway, I'm only a half pound from being back to my goal weight.

 

:) Andiepie17

 

(177/ 119/ 119.5)