So much to think about, I don’t even know where to begin….First thank you for your kind acceptance of my thoughts.
After all these years, I’m still hesitant to “go out on a limb” - and all my fears and insecurities rush to the front to remind me that I’m still a work in progress and not where I want to be yet!
It’s 10:30 AM and I haven’t had breakfast yet. I want to do this very carefully today, almost as though - if I put myself “out there” yesterday, I need to try to “walk the walk” of the” talk that I talk!!!” So I’ll write my food down today and read some more from Dr. Phil’s book. I’m not quite at IE yet, and after babysitting for a grandchild who only slept for 3 hours last night, I must admit that I’m looking at exercise today as “not walking into walls!”
Sandra, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about your childhood and how that has impacted your eating and your living “reactively” today. Your words really hit home and I couldn’t stop thinking about my own “holding on to things, for fear of there not being enough.” My husband jokes with me that if I were ever a size 5 again (not EVER likely) he’d gladly buy me new clothes; I don’t need to hold on to things that are 20 or 40 years old. (Although the hot pants and fringed vests might be worth something someday!) The cupboard doesn’t have to be overstocked either, especially with the wrong foods and that entire shelf of cans of vegetarian chili that were on sale. I’m joking about it, but it’s not funny. It's all my fears run rampant that I’ll be alone and “without.” Thank you also for your words about trust. I would love to be able to trust more openly. There we go back to Dr. Phil again. If I change my internal dialogue and see myself in a more positive light, I might have more faith. All those thoughts wound up together. My mind is spinning and, as I said, I haven’t even eaten breakfast yet. That’s one way to avoid food!
Eilene, thanks for your words about concentrating on TODAY. I know it intellectually, but not always emotionally. I needed your reminder today, so I don’t look at this journey as so overwhelming that it becomes impossible. And, Eilene, as far as I’m concerned, coming from where I’m coming from, “not gaining” is an amazing goal!
Joyce, please know that I’m thinking about you. “Running on empty….with family obligations” -- I wish you strength in this next week. For a person who loves words, I can’t even begin to tell you how I felt when I read that phrase. It’s my life. I hope I can get to the point of looking at the sunset and relishing those quiet moments….Thanks for the picture. I’ve already saved it. Peace.
Mac, Vicki, thanks for your more than kind words and validation. They mean a great deal and I'm very grateful. Thanks for making me part of this new family. Someday I hope that Dr. Phil will do show about the wise women over 60. Aging can be done with more than grace; it can be done with a zest for living and a knowledge that we have a great deal to contribute, to each other, to our families and yes, to this whole world of ours!
Love,
Ellen
