Quote From: ceildh1Exactly right, that's all that matters.
And what works for one may not work for another.
I will say, Iiked your post, it was non judgemental, honest and reasonable and that I appreciate. No Bible quotes, no God talk, just to the point and honest.
I suppose I could call him my "mate", but that sounds like we belong on a nature show, now that would be something for discovery to air, I think they did at one point.
Lover, well that sounds more like a one night stand or a six month fling.
Boyfriend, I'm a long way from high school.
Fiance, talk about LOOONG engagements.
Partner (trust me on this) where I'm from well that is taken only ONE WAY(I am not trying to insult anyone here so please don't take it that way ).
"Husband" was the only word that didn't bring up unwanted lectures, strange looks or what I consider prying questions from people I hardly know (Your question was a fair one, not prying ). Trust me, the questions are good,
Well he has free reign to fool around , he's an adult, if they're going to do it they'll do it married or not (there's been enough of them on the show to prove THAT ).
It's easier for him to leave, well then it should be pretty easy for me as well, unfortunatly in Canada Common Law unions are recognized, meaning it can get just as messy.
I could go on, but I hope you get the drift of what I'm trying to say, and hey I like people that can open their minds enough to ask fair questions, like I say "I'm not abnormal, just different ".
BUT, I do tell people that if they plan to marry after living together, they have to be VERY careful, it dosen't usually work out, sometimes it does, but the track records aren't very good, I think you're better off NOT living together first, but again, what works for one dosen't always work for another.
twenty years is a GREAT THING (especially when many can't seem to get past year five), I keep threatening to get another cat hehe.
THANK YOU. You've put into words what I've been telling people all along. "Boyfriend" is too junior high. "Partner" has its' own connotations in the area I live in as well. (I had checked the "partner" box on the form I filled out at my doctor's office, until my 24yo daughter told me what it meant, lol...I went back and changed it..;) -) "Significant Other" is just too much of a mouthful. I'm not engaged to this man..I have no intentions of every marrying again, so "fiance" doesn't work either. "Mate" just doesn't sound right. I like the "Discovery Channel" analogy, lol. And to call him my "lover" would demean what the relationship truly is. We need something else that's short and sweet to describe the union between two people who consciously make a choice to not marry, yet are as committed as those that are. So far, I haven't come up with one, lol.
I've done the marriage thing...20+years, 4 kids, numerous animals. I CHOOSE to not do it again. I don't refer to my SO as my husband. He's not. Yes, it's easier..and I've slipped a time or two just b/c I didn't want to use one of the aforementioned terms. I don't do it anymore. He's NOT my husband. He's my other half. My better half. He's what restored my faith that all men aren't created equal. Nor are women......
(Original Air Date: 1/16/07) Rules, stipulations, conditions and ultimatums -- not exactly romantic pillow talk, but when it comes to marriage, what qualifies as a deal-breaker? Shane and Nikki got married four months ago. Nikki says that three days into their honeymoon, Shane told her that he wasn't sure he loved her enough to be married. He says he will give the marriage a six- to 12-month trial, and if it doesn't work, he's out. Nikki says there is no way she will stay in a trial marriage. Why did Shane marry Nikki in the first place? And, should Nikki wait for him to make a decision, or should she cut her losses and get out now? Then, Daniel and Debra are engaged and planning to get married in October, but Daniel says he's ready to call off the wedding if Debra doesn't stop asking him, "Do I look fat?" A recovering bulimic now weighing 100 pounds, Debra says she wants Daniel to support her recovery, and he is wrong to postpone the wedding. When Dr. Phil shows them a video of a previous anorexic guest, will Daniel and Debra change their outlook? Is there hope for this couple to make it down the aisle? Tell us!
