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Topic : 06/12 Marriage Deal-Breakers

Number of Replies: 379
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:21:42 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 1/16/07) Rules, stipulations, conditions and ultimatums -- not exactly romantic pillow talk, but when it comes to marriage, what qualifies as a deal-breaker? Shane and Nikki got married four months ago. Nikki says that three days into their honeymoon, Shane told her that he wasn't sure he loved her enough to be married. He says he will give the marriage a six- to 12-month trial, and if it doesn't work, he's out. Nikki says there is no way she will stay in a trial marriage. Why did Shane marry Nikki in the first place? And, should Nikki wait for him to make a decision, or should she cut her losses and get out now? Then, Daniel and Debra are engaged and planning to get married in October, but Daniel says he's ready to call off the wedding if Debra doesn't stop asking him, "Do I look fat?" A recovering bulimic now weighing 100 pounds, Debra says she wants Daniel to support her recovery, and he is wrong to postpone the wedding. When Dr. Phil shows them a video of a previous anorexic guest, will Daniel and Debra change their outlook? Is there hope for this couple to make it down the aisle? Tell us!

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January 13, 2007, 1:09 pm CST

Doomed

A trial marriage? No way! He's already looking at failure as the outcome. Too negative!

 

And the other couple? If he's already thinking of getting out before the marriage, then she should cut her losses and dump him. That's too much pressure for a young marraige to survive.

 
January 13, 2007, 1:25 pm CST

To Marry, stay married or NOT to marry?

The acid test for a good match is that things flow smoothly between the two people in love.

 

If there is one major psychological problem that needs to be answered, solved...then don't marry until the horizon is full of light and happiness.  Any and all of these major issues (doubt, anorexia) need to solved.  In the case of the "trial marriage" ultimatum, I would seek an anulmment immediately. 

 

The best way to survive a relationship crash is to end it. 

 

I do not believe that love cures all.

 
January 13, 2007, 1:43 pm CST

Run-don't walk!

  Sounds to me like if Nikki stays with this man, she will be setting herself up for a marriage of abuse and uncertainty.  How cruel it is of Shane to tell her he's giving her a trial period.  I never heard of such crap!  He sounds like an immature little boy to me and I think Nikki will be saying she wants her feelings to be stepped on to even entertain his ultimatum.  I'm no Doctor, but I say, "hey women let's not put up with being treated like this anymore".  I have been through a lot of abuse in my 54 years and I finally realize that it is up to me to get respect or whether or not I just sit back and let everyone walk on me.  I hope Nikki finds her own way to get rid of this loser and waits on the man who will love and value her for the wonderful woman that she is.
 
January 13, 2007, 2:02 pm CST

Nikki & Shane

Nikki,

 

You answered your own question.  You said you don't want to stay in a 'trial' marriage -- what's up with that!  No such thing as a trial marriage, you either are or are not.  He's stringing you along.  Do not let Shane make the decision for you.  It's your decision to make.  Make it.  I'll be watching for your decision.  Best of luck. 

 
January 13, 2007, 2:03 pm CST

i'm really looking forward to this one!!!!

Okay, I'm looking forward to this show....my (now ex) husband left after our short 10 month marriage, and he had a girlfriend after 4 months of marriage.  Why bother getting married?  Why committ?  I just don't see why he would say in front of all of our family and friends that he loved me and would be with me forever and hen run off, as if he were single, only a few months later. 

 

And, yes, we HAD premarital counseling.  He's just a really good liar, I guess.

 

THIS episode will be a definite MUST SEE for me.  :)

 

 
January 13, 2007, 5:02 pm CST

Duh

This is all so simple. If someone  doesn't love you then you move on. It obviously wasn't real.
 
January 13, 2007, 7:26 pm CST

dump him

trial marriage where the hell did he ever come up with that.. shane needs to be dumped now.. nikki don't go through a year of a trial marriage.. if he wasn't sure he didn't love you then he shouldn't of got married..  what an idiot.. get out of it now

 
January 13, 2007, 8:04 pm CST

Hmmm, its all to easy isnt it

Quote From: jade4953

The acid test for a good match is that things flow smoothly between the two people in love.

 

If there is one major psychological problem that needs to be answered, solved...then don't marry until the horizon is full of light and happiness.  Any and all of these major issues (doubt, anorexia) need to solved.  In the case of the "trial marriage" ultimatum, I would seek an anulmment immediately. 

 

The best way to survive a relationship crash is to end it. 

 

I do not believe that love cures all.

 I think for young ones these days its all to easy......Marriage is all to easy to get into, and if u dont know the person from inside out, and really know them ...dont take that chance as soon as u get married and the rings on the fingers, people will change, there not about to, it doesnt get better, as it doesnt  having a baby to bring your marriage closer.... i think u both did the wrong thing, we all get caught up in the hype the pretty dress, the organizing a wedding, and its so expensive these days, u get an instant mortgage before u even buy a house.....

 

YOu both still have a lot of growing up to do, we may say its all the mans fault for stringing u along, but u kept hanging on lol,,,, be kind to each other, have the marriage annulled, or get a quick devorce, in another state, in austalia we have to wait 12 mths before we can devorce, u have it easy in the usa.....either devorce and stay friends or get mature , and say nice knowing u and move on, there can be no rules or trials, or use one another in marriage, its all about love, committment, supporting each other thru trials and tribulations and what u can bring to each other in  a unit between 2 people, not what u can take from it, its bookends lol, that work together, flexibility, and above all trust, communication and dignity......keep looking, keep growing and one day that great Love will hit u like a ton of bricks, then u will know what true LOVE really IS

 

 

God Bless

 
January 13, 2007, 9:12 pm CST

Marriage Deal-Breakers: Shane and Nikki

Shane sounds like a jerk from Hell!  Nikki doesn't need to wait 6 to 12 months for him to make up his mind, she needs to go ahead and put his ass out on the street now.  Nikki, you need to get this self-centered idiot out of your life!  RUN FOR YOUR LIFE GIRL!  Don't wait until he has ruined your self-esteem and you end up on antidepressants and a Psychologist's couch.  Mental abuse, which I have been through, is one of the worst things that a man can do to a woman.

NCHorseLady

 

 

 
January 13, 2007, 10:03 pm CST

01/16 Marriage Deal-Breakers

Quote From: bear_ta

This is all so simple. If someone  doesn't love you then you move on. It obviously wasn't real.

I'm not sure anything about love is simple!

 

 
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