Topic : 06/12 Marriage Deal-Breakers

'Nuff said! Unfortunately, there are too many "pastors" out there like the one sonshine describes.

BTW, I, too, am a Christian, worship regularly in a "mainline Protestant" church, and study Scriptures (I probably should have a Theology degree; I was active on campus while I put the X through his Master's in the subject and read quite a bit of the subject at that time :-)  ). I am also divorced, as you have probably guessed. jetta could have been talking to me a decade ago...I got the ball rolling, and the rest is history.

"And I can almost bet that you are a much happier person and he proabbly is not."

That's pretty much the case...I married "the real deal" 6 1/2 years ago, a man who treats me with both kindness and respect, is a great role model for my daughter (BTW, she wrote in a recent school essay that she wants to pursue her stepdad's vocation :-) ), and is a devoted dad to our 2- y/o son. My X, well, can't quite seem to get his act together, but still thinks he can do no wrong, and continues to rationalize his behavior.

"No one deserves to be abused and it's time that spouses realize this and quit hiding behind their egos and quit misinteretting the message about marriage for as we all know, when there is dissrespect and dishonor, the marriage isn't gonna last, at least it isn't gonna be a happy one. "   AMEN!!   Have a nice weekend.

Wow... So you are worthy of love regardless? This is likely to offend you but IMO that is a very arrogant statement.

There are lots of beings on this planet, many of them who have done evil & despicable things. I can't imagine for a second why they should be considered worthy of my love let alone others simply because they exist. Likewise, I can't imagine how I would deserve anyones love regardless of what I do or not do. I feel one must earn the right to be loved by others. I am not so amazing & awesome & God-like that other shall love me regardless, whether I do for them or not, whether I treat them respectfully or not, whether I simply exist or not.

Earn a relationship? Can't have real love with out one so that is a given.

I think we'll have to agree to disagree then.

Hostage?

Sad....

I seem to have struck a nerve with you.  Everyone is worthy of love, no matter what.  It's a self esteem thing.  You're a Christian?  Christians are supposed to love everyone regardless...there are different kinds of love.  Have you ever heard the phrase "turn the other cheek"?  You love someone regardless, you just have a different relationship or no relationship with them.  Relax, you'll live longer! :)

Why is it an arrogant statement to have healthy self esteem?  Why is it arrogant to be in a relationship where i'm worthy and don't have to jump thru hoops for someone to be with me?

I guess we will agree to disagree.  Have a nice day!  :)

No, I just like to debate :) Also,  I'm not a Christian. If I have time later, maybe we could debate that if you would like. I honestly do not know if there is a board on this site that is set aside for religion or not. I thought I saw one some time ago but can't recall exactly where.

Why is it an arrogant statement to have healthy self esteem? 

I see you are reading into what I said rather than reading them. It's never arrogant to have a "healthy self-esteem". Healthy self-esteem is not overly inflated self-importance. That is arrogance, IMO.

Why is it arrogant to be in a relationship where i'm worthy and don't have to jump thru hoops for someone to be with me?

I find it interesting that you gleaned that from what I said. Earning one's love & being worthy does not equal "jumping through hoops" but rather being decent & respectful as well as giving. Some people have a hard time understanding that aspect of a relationship & struggle with it.