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Topic : 01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

Number of Replies: 595
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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:23:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Imagine waking up one morning and realizing that you’ve been living in the wrong body. That’s what Dr. Phil’s first guest says happened to her. Bernadette started dressing like a boy in high school. Now 37, she wants to be referred to as Cameron, and wants her breasts surgically removed. Cameron’s mom, Antoinette, and her aunts say she’s just angry, lost and confused. Will they ever accept her decision to become a man? Then, Sylvia’s 17-year-old daughter, Gwen, was murdered when a group of boys found out that she was one of them. The grieving mother weighs in on this important discussion. And, should a high school boy who dresses like a girl be allowed to use the girls’ bathroom? That’s the issue one Florida high school faced. The boy’s lawyer and two moms from the community engage in a heated debate. Plus, Jim and Linda’s 4-year-old daughter, Kayleigh, was born with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, a condition where she looks like a female on the outside, but inside, she’s an underdeveloped male. Should the parents be forced to decide Kayleigh’s gender? Talk about the show here.

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January 13, 2007, 9:14 pm CST

my best friend is a male to female transsexual

I have a friend who is currently in transition. My friend is a male who is on her way to become a woman. She lived as a man for 29 yrs she just came out six months ago. She now taking meds to develop breast. As a man she was very un-happy as a man and at one point she try to kill herself. But people were telling her she had to live as a man but deep down inside her she knew she was a girl. As a man she would hide in her room on the computer, play games. When there was company all she do was hide from them. She would come out talk for one hour and leave and go hide in the room she would not talk to much. But now you cant shut her up at all. She also didn't like to go out shopping or movies. Now that she is out she is in college and living like a girl. She is dressing like a girl and is the happiest i have ever seen her in the past five years i have know her. So if you don't understand maybe you should look more deeply. Hope you will watch the Dr. Phil show and learn more about it. I never hear of gender identity until six months ago. I am now going to school to become a gender psychologist. She is going to school to become a interior designer and the other students handle her well.
 
January 13, 2007, 9:19 pm CST

help?

Quote From: nursekt

  I watched the movie about Sylvia's son, "Gwen" & how tough his life was & what lead up to his murder. The life story was really tragic for all involved. I hope Dr. Phil's guests will get the help that they need.
transsexuals don't need help they need support cause all they are trying to do is make their outside look like their inside and gwen was never a he last i checked being born male or female is only our sex our gender is who we are and thats what makes us male or female not whats between our legs.
 
January 13, 2007, 10:13 pm CST

what crisis?

I am a male to female transsexual life can be difficult at times but i have the support of my family and freinds those who know me like me for who I am not my sex or my gender the reason we I mean society think this is a problem cause we can't learn from our mistakes or choose not to I mean if people aren't discriminating against one group of people they are looking for another and i see this all the time with those who don't know me and show ignorance by staring with hate in their eyes gender is something we should embrace not try to analyze sex is determined by our body parts while our gender is what makes us male or female when society can learn from their earlier mistakes of discrimination then we can be accepted i mean first it was discrimination based on skin color then on sexual orientation now we are dealing with transphobia which is the fear, hatred, misunderstanding and lack of knowledge of transsexuals and this is largely due to the fact that research is not really done to look into the cause of transexuality and instead of figureing out a way to cure it we should focus on what causes it and then we will realize that maybe it is something genetic or that we as transsexuals are born with. this is just the pattern i see in society they slap a label on something and say it must be cured instead of trying to figure out the why or just simply accepting the fact that people are different and will always be.
 
January 14, 2007, 12:44 pm CST

Amen

Quote From: lkelsom

I am an alcohol/drug counselor who has been in the field for approximately 15 years.  I have worked in many inpatient residential and outpatient facilities.  I have even worked in an all male medium level prison for two years.  On several occasions I have come in contact with individuals who have wanted to change their gender, for whatever reasons.  In the prison setting there was no way the individual could physically make that change, however in one of the residential settings I had a client who had made many drastic changes as far as her gender was concerned.  Well, most of those decisions were made while she was "high" but after she got into tx she began to realize why she used and why she had rebelled against her parents concerning her gender change.  She was able to identify that making those changes were inadvertly directed at her parents as punishment.  They had wanted her to be a "good" girl, get a degree, make them grandparents, etc.; she felt no warmth or true concern from her parents and used these changes as a means of directly "hurting" them.  However, once she got clean and sober and worked on her "genuine" issues, she realized that having her breasts removed and a total hyster. had been in defiance to her parents.  At that time she was devastated because she could not go back and change those decisions; during recovery she realized that she really wanted to be a mother and to have a family, and that some of her goals in life were things that her parents would approve of.  When I read about the program where the girl will be on your show talking about her wanting to be a male, I remembered my former client.  I remember all of the physical and emotional trauma that she went through while mouthing the same things.  I feel true concern for this individual and her family and loved ones.  I pray that you will help her to explore all of her choices in this matter and that she has no "ulterior" motives. 

I believe that is my largest concern for people dealing with gender identiity and even homosexuality!  Whether or not the underlying issues are being addressed accurately! 

 

A problem I see with both issues is complete acceptance of what a person is saying is so and not questioning them more closely our of fear of being labeled discriminatory!

 

The point being that not ALL gender identity questions come from the same people or same perspective. Just as not all homosexuals are the same! So I believe it is a diservice to people to just say "they can't help it, they were born that way!!" 

 

Good counseling involves understanding the individual and looking deep for any underlying motivations they themselves may not recognize!  After all that is what they are in councseling for!  To have a fress pair of ears, eyes and brain to analyze the situation and help the individual understand their own motivations themselves!

 

I personally have known women who are homosexual who dres and act masculine not because they are predisposed to it, but because it is used as a form of safety from men!  It is purely psychological on their part...it isn't done consciously...how I counseled a friend one time to identify and appreciate her own sex was to tell her from my perspective as a female...that if I found men attractive I certainly wouldn't be attracted to a woman who acted like a man...this was told kindly to my friend and gently...this got her thinking...suddenly she was dressing like a woman and was much happier with herself, her sex and sexuality...last time I saw her, she looked beautiful.  She gave me a big hug and thanked me!

 

Why? Because I saw an underlying motive that she couldn't see and I brought it to her attention!  She also had been sexually abused by her father as a child...I am not a professional counselor and didn't get into it with her...she had her sexual preference and I love her as a friend!

 

But it is things like this that make me question gender identity...giving a person reason to trust you with the minute details of their life so that you may help them see things from different perspectives takes time and it takes discernment which relies on some questioning skeptisism!

 
January 14, 2007, 12:54 pm CST

Every Individual Different

Each situation, each person is different....therefore what may not be a crisis to one, may be to another!

 

I am a female in a semi-females body...by that I mean many years ago I was given a complete hysterectomy because of health reasons...

 

What I've learned over the years is, we are who we are....it overrides our sex, sexuality, capabilities, mentality and even our bodies themselves....

 

It is our spirits that count...

 

If we can nurture our spirits we can concur our physical afflictions whatever they may be!

 

It isn't that we are no longer mortal!  It is just that being mortal doesn't matter all that much anymore!  We tend to connect with everything and everyone more deeply and completely!

 

We learn contentment in whatever situation we are in and know that it is only for a short time as time goes!

 
January 14, 2007, 1:15 pm CST

01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

Quote From: nursekt

  I watched the movie about Sylvia's son, "Gwen" & how tough his life was & what lead up to his murder. The life story was really tragic for all involved. I hope Dr. Phil's guests will get the help that they need.

this is in reply to the gender idenitity crisis:

I totally can understand what hell these people must be living  each day as you see ,I am a mother of 2 . Two now grown , young men , both females living, trapped inside  a mans body. My heart breaks for the both of them  as I love them both so much, but I feel so helpless as a mother, their mum,not being able to fix this or make it right. All I can and have been doing is being there for them and love them for who they are.

 
January 14, 2007, 3:40 pm CST

01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

Quote From: jade4953

First intensive psychological examination is necessary!  There should be no familial coercion and all aspects of the physical, emotional and societial aspects explored and best and worst scenerios explored.  
I believe that people are psychologically examined before under going this surgery. And they should be. This is a serious series of surgeries. And any and all surgery is potentially life threatening.


 
January 14, 2007, 4:23 pm CST

This is SO complicated .

Being of the Baptist persuation, I have been taught in church that people "choose" these situations, and it's just simply a SIN. I cannot believe that. I know that God tells us to love one another. So that is what i base my feelings on. I think each individual situation should be dealt with separately.There are a lot of compassionate,caring experts who can probably have a lot of input. I just cannot dismiss human beings as being "sinners". We each have a special spirit that should be nurtured . I am afraid that when I see the show, there will be a lot of hatred and misunderstanding. I pray for understanding and guidance. I wish everyone the best. One bit of advice I will offer...I have seen follow-ups of adults who were born with both genitalia. As children, their parents (with the help of medical experts)chose a gender for them. Some of them said that they wished that they had been left as they had been born. As adults they felt confused about their gender. I will watch the show with an open mind and see if I can learn anything.
 
January 14, 2007, 4:37 pm CST

01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

God created us all!  if you are born a girl thats what you are. if you are born a boy then thats what you are.  God does not make mistakes..   Anyone  think they should be another sex then  the way they were born. Needs help and need Jesus.  praying for people like this.
 
January 14, 2007, 6:06 pm CST

gender identity

Quote From: kitspics

I believe that is my largest concern for people dealing with gender identiity and even homosexuality!  Whether or not the underlying issues are being addressed accurately! 

 

A problem I see with both issues is complete acceptance of what a person is saying is so and not questioning them more closely our of fear of being labeled discriminatory!

 

The point being that not ALL gender identity questions come from the same people or same perspective. Just as not all homosexuals are the same! So I believe it is a diservice to people to just say "they can't help it, they were born that way!!" 

 

Good counseling involves understanding the individual and looking deep for any underlying motivations they themselves may not recognize!  After all that is what they are in councseling for!  To have a fress pair of ears, eyes and brain to analyze the situation and help the individual understand their own motivations themselves!

 

I personally have known women who are homosexual who dres and act masculine not because they are predisposed to it, but because it is used as a form of safety from men!  It is purely psychological on their part...it isn't done consciously...how I counseled a friend one time to identify and appreciate her own sex was to tell her from my perspective as a female...that if I found men attractive I certainly wouldn't be attracted to a woman who acted like a man...this was told kindly to my friend and gently...this got her thinking...suddenly she was dressing like a woman and was much happier with herself, her sex and sexuality...last time I saw her, she looked beautiful.  She gave me a big hug and thanked me!

 

Why? Because I saw an underlying motive that she couldn't see and I brought it to her attention!  She also had been sexually abused by her father as a child...I am not a professional counselor and didn't get into it with her...she had her sexual preference and I love her as a friend!

 

But it is things like this that make me question gender identity...giving a person reason to trust you with the minute details of their life so that you may help them see things from different perspectives takes time and it takes discernment which relies on some questioning skeptisism!

that is a good point you bring up but when all counseling is done and their are no other reasons for the transition then what do you tell the person? gender identity has been proven to exist as early in the womb from hormone sensitivity but not enough research is done to confirm this and that is why some people believe what you are saying which might be true for some transsexuals but not all and that is why counseling is a requirement for surgery so it is determined by a proffesional that the individual is sincere and not making a mistake.  I am a transsexual female in early stages of transition and my counselor makes me think about what im doing and for me i believe this is how i was born and no one can tell me otherwise and although she has me thinking it isnt changing my belief of why i am doing it she is just pointing out that there maybe more factors than what i believe which is simply stating that besides what i believe there may be other contributing factors.
 
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