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Topic : 01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:23:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Imagine waking up one morning and realizing that you’ve been living in the wrong body. That’s what Dr. Phil’s first guest says happened to her. Bernadette started dressing like a boy in high school. Now 37, she wants to be referred to as Cameron, and wants her breasts surgically removed. Cameron’s mom, Antoinette, and her aunts say she’s just angry, lost and confused. Will they ever accept her decision to become a man? Then, Sylvia’s 17-year-old daughter, Gwen, was murdered when a group of boys found out that she was one of them. The grieving mother weighs in on this important discussion. And, should a high school boy who dresses like a girl be allowed to use the girls’ bathroom? That’s the issue one Florida high school faced. The boy’s lawyer and two moms from the community engage in a heated debate. Plus, Jim and Linda’s 4-year-old daughter, Kayleigh, was born with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, a condition where she looks like a female on the outside, but inside, she’s an underdeveloped male. Should the parents be forced to decide Kayleigh’s gender? Talk about the show here.

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January 14, 2007, 10:25 pm CST

01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

Quote From: jesusislord

God created us all!  if you are born a girl thats what you are. if you are born a boy then thats what you are.  God does not make mistakes..   Anyone  think they should be another sex then  the way they were born. Needs help and need Jesus.  praying for people like this.
"God does not make mistakes.."

Tell that to people born with out limbs, with out brains, with out organs. Tell that to people born with organs on the outside, tell that to people born blind, deaf, mute. Tell that to people born with hair all over their bodies, no hair on their bodies, no pigment in their bodies. Tell that to people born with twisted spines, twisted hands, twisted feet. Tell that to people born with Downs, with Autism, with mental retardation.




 
January 15, 2007, 5:21 am CST

I agree with you.

Quote From: nilysm47

I will be the first to say I don't understand . I don't believe God created any junk. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knew us before the world began. Since I don't understand am I to ask for a new brain? It just dosen't seem right.
I don't believe God creates junk either. There is nothing alive that God didn't breathe life into. You and I and everyone else were created by the same God. None of us are better than the other. God wants us to love one another and help one another. God is kind , forgiving, loving and that's how He wants us to be . Nothing can ever be accomplished by hating one another.
 
January 15, 2007, 6:37 am CST

01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

I'm a transgendered female (male to female); planning genital reconstructive surgery in December of 2007.  Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID) is a birth complication that happens in the womb that causes the brain and body's sexual orientations  to remain incongruent to each other.  Life is nearly unbearable at times, with such an inner conflict, and I'm hoping that the public learns and understands about GID and hold the understanding that it is NOT a mental disorder; but rather a biological misstep.  Open hearts and open minds are our only hope.  God bless you...  JLP
 
January 15, 2007, 7:53 am CST

there is help and hope

Quote From: hope4me_u

this is in reply to the gender idenitity crisis:

I totally can understand what hell these people must be living  each day as you see ,I am a mother of 2 . Two now grown , young men , both females living, trapped inside  a mans body. My heart breaks for the both of them  as I love them both so much, but I feel so helpless as a mother, their mum,not being able to fix this or make it right. All I can and have been doing is being there for them and love them for who they are.

have you talked to a doctor about hormones and possibility of surgery these are just a few things that can be done to make the outside look like the inside and there are alot of transsexual support groups on yahoo one of my support groups is called girls night out and they can provide links to other helpful website as i am a transsexual female myself i know how tough it can be and you have a rare thing cause most transsexual get rejected by their families lose freinds and even jobs. showing your support is the best thing you can do for them god bless

Katrina Nicole

 
January 15, 2007, 9:49 am CST

01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

Quote From: finallyatpeace

I'm a transgendered female (male to female); planning genital reconstructive surgery in December of 2007.  Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID) is a birth complication that happens in the womb that causes the brain and body's sexual orientations  to remain incongruent to each other.  Life is nearly unbearable at times, with such an inner conflict, and I'm hoping that the public learns and understands about GID and hold the understanding that it is NOT a mental disorder; but rather a biological misstep.  Open hearts and open minds are our only hope.  God bless you...  JLP
Yes, and this is why I am GLAD that (most if not all) Dr's make sure there is pscyhological examination before doing this to insure that it is a genuine case of GID. 


 
January 15, 2007, 2:15 pm CST

let them decide

I am a 62 year old person .who all my life have had gender problems it started at 3 or 4 years of age as far as i can remember,all i wanted was to wear a dress to school and be who i am ,but in the late 40s that wasn't going to happen.i have been to more shrinks than i have had trips to the bathroom.and guess what! i'm still a woman in a male body.let the child choose for them selves,other wise you get  children with learning problems,attention problems,and a whole list of other stuff.i know iv'e been there!!!
 
January 15, 2007, 6:00 pm CST

Gender Identity Crisis

Gender is often confused with sex. This isn't always the case. In what is deemed the "straight" world, gender and sex are combined. This doesn't always hold true. The medical world calls it a Gender Identity Disorder, but just a few years ago gays and lesbians were also classified as having a "Disorder".  Now they are seen just as gays and lesbians.  A person can be of one sex and possess the gender identity of the opposite sex, and there are different levels of transgender.

 

There are Drag Queens/Kings that dress up as the opposite sex for entertainment. There are the cross dressers, who just like to feel feminine or masculine and dress occasionally in the opposite genders clothing. Then there are transvestites, who dress as the opposite sex and live as the opposite sex, but don't change their physical self  to agree with their identity. Last but not least, is transmen and transwomen, who feel so compelled that they are in the wrong body that the only cure is to make their body look the part of the gender they see themselves as. All these different levels are wrapped up in one term "transgender". No wonder the population is so confused. This confusion carries on straight into the gay community.

 

For the latter to become a transman or woman, there is a standard followed by the medical profession, and it's called the Harry Benjamin Standard of Care.  This standard is used to insure that the person who believes themsleves to be transsexual are truly that. A transgendered person can not just go and have surgery done on their body without following the guidelines prescribed in this standard. It requires three letters from professionals stating the emotionally, and medically these folks are truly transsexual. Only then will a surgeon agree to perform any lasting changes to the physical appearance of an individual. They must also have lived as the gender they see themselves as for at least 1 year.

 

Parents must understand that little Tommy or Suzie may not see themselves the same way that the rest of the world has seen them from birth. Sex is what is determined at birth. however gender can only be determined by the way one sees themselves in a mirror.  And then again we haven't even gone into babies born with both organs or no organs. But Dr. Phil may want to talk about that on another show.

 

My only concern is that he present the issue in a forum that's not for sensationalism like Springer or Maury, but in a factual and informative platform. Transmen and women have a difficult time as is, without the world treating them as freaks and weirdos. 

 

From all the religious points of view, we are suppose to love one and other no matter who we or they are. Not past  judgment on ones preferences.  Only the Lord can past judgment, and those who do pass judgment should think about the fact that maybe the Lord let this happen to judge their sincerity in loving one and other. We don't know the master plan only he does.

 

 
January 15, 2007, 9:25 pm CST

01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

I support all transgender people and I wish them all peacefulness and tranquility in the road to self acceptance.........they do not deserve hatred and criticism!

 

 
January 16, 2007, 7:06 pm CST

This is how I feel...

Bernadette started dressing like a boy in high school. Now 37, she wants to be referred to as Cameron, and wants her breasts surgically removed. Cameron’s mom, Antoinette, and her aunts say she’s just angry, lost and confused. Will they ever accept her decision to become a man?   At 37, I think it's time that Cameron gets a chance to be himself. He is an adult, and Antoinette, and Cameron's Aunt, need to understand that this is not just a phase from mid-life crisis.  I am a college freshman who has identified as Transgender for the last two years. I lived my entire senior year, as well as the continuing duration of my college career as a male. I was born female. I have not had surgery, I have not legally changed my name or gender marker. I dress, act, speak, and live as a male. The best thing I ever did for myself was be honest with myself and say "f*** society". I honestly believe that VERY FEW people fit the perfect ideal that society expects people to be. Society is asking us to conform to ghosts; to people that do not exist nor could ever exist.

 

 And, should a high school boy who dresses like a girl be allowed to use the girls’ bathroom? That’s the issue one Florida high school faced. The boy’s lawyer and two moms from the community engage in a heated debate.   This right here will probably continue to be a heated debate. Honestly, as difficult as it is to go where you don't want to, I think it's best that it continue to be enforced (in public schools only) that trans-people go to their sex (not their gender) oriented restroom. When I was in high school (last year = my senior year), I was not able to use the men's room. I think for now it is best, due largely to other's reactions in public schools and kids not being open-minded/understanding about the situation, that you go to your sex related bathroom. It's a safety issue. In public, I think it is a different situation because it's a matter of what you're comfortable with. The way I see it, nobody ever knows when I go into the men's restroom that I am not biologically male, unless they know me. Once you're out of public schools (into college, workforce, etc) and over the age of 18 I believe it's a free country. You're not hurting anyone so,as long as you are aware of the risks, go for it.

 

Plus, Jim and Linda’s 4-year-old daughter, Kayleigh, was born with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, a condition where she looks like a female on the outside, but inside, she’s an underdeveloped male. Should the parents be forced to decide Kayleigh’s gender?  This right here I personally like more details before assuming anything is right for Kayleigh. Such things as does she act like a male, or a female? how different are the inside and the oustide (scientifically in regards to "AIS", etc). I guess I'll just watch the show.

 
January 16, 2007, 7:08 pm CST

01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

In the case of the young child, there was a special about that on TLC, I forget what it was called, but what really made me stop and think, was the hurt and misery that these people faced when the whole truth finally came out, one small boy was pretty much neutered by a Doctor who insisted he should be raised as a girl easier to make a hole than a pole I suppose, but I think if the child is genetically a boy, then that is how they should be raised, man I wish I could remember the name of that Documentary, can anyone help me out there ?

As for a cross dresser using the female bathroom, in my town, well I live in a small farming town where the men are men type thing the good ole boy mentality runs high.  Anyway there is a man here who dresses as a woman, and when he came into the shop I worked at, we had to let him use  the woman's room as long as there was no one else in there, and on a Friday night after the bars closed, the men's room just wouldn't be safe ( and neither one of us wanted to clean up the blood, not being Fecitious, just realistic).  My heart goes out to that mother whose son was murdered, NO ONE DESERVES THAT just on the basis of a narrow mind or predjudice, and NO MOTHER should ever have to deal with that.

I do hope that Cameron gets the counselling he needs before doing something as drastic as full surgery, and maybe his Mother could be set up with a support group, as far as I see it, its between him and Mom, not aunts and uncles.

This will be a good one to watch, and maybe some could open their minds, and maybe feel some compassion for those who live with this daily.

 
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