Topic : 01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

I have been working with the transgender community for 5+ years, have attended many transgender events as well as several trangender leadership/media training sessions.

I am not shocked by the lack of educated comments here, as this is par for the coarse where gender disphoria issues are concerned. What shocks and concerns me is the grand scale lack of openminded communication and willingness to learn about those who were born different or have grown to feel their core gender does not fit that of what society has deemed as the 'norm'.

It is a very quick and simple remedy to these issues to close our eyes, pretend everyone in the world who is different from us, lives a unique lifestyle or makes different choices for THEIR lifepath is mentally unstable or a 'pervert'. This is a very closed minded, confused and scared way to respond to others. It is this very same mind set that gives way to poor relationships between races, genders and human beings as a whole.

Open you minds and understand that though you can burry your heads in the sand, the issues will not go away and the trans community has been, is and will continue to be an active part of our communities as a whole.

Things you may not know about the transgendered:

-Each transgender individual is required to attend several years of theropy with a professional who has been trained in transender issues and have appropriate documents signed and in hand before visiting a heath professional seeking hormone theropy or they will be denied the treatment. This is not an overnight decision.

-All those seeking to change their name legally to a cross gender name is required to seek legal counceling and present valid documents before a judge to prove their name chance is a legal and valid step on their path to a new life as the opposite gender or they will be denied this service. This is not an overnight decision.

-Many trans people choose not to proceed with the highly costly reassignment surgeries currently available to the trans community. They simply live their daily lives in a constant acting a role, performing for society's sake. They themselves are happy, productive people who often feel the need to play the roles that society has required of them in order to 'fit in'.

-All transgender individuals will need to remain on hormone theropy for the rest of their lives in order to maintain their new identity. This is a lifelong decision and is not something to be taken lightly.

Perhaps this person has not followed the above mentioned steps and perhaps she is not certain if this is the lifepath she is meant to take, but this is also not our choice to make for her.

Thank you for your time~

A number of things could be going on here.  The important thing to realize is, there is so much stigma attached to being either gay, lesbian, or transgender that many youth, when very young, have to shove it deep down inside themselves in order to feel that they fit in or are accepted by their family and/or society.  Consequently, as they get older, they may have to go through a process or re-self-discovery to "remember" what actually is true for them, who they really are.  It's not uncommon for some transgender people in this process to try on different "roles" to see which one actually reflects their true self.  And, if a family cannot understand or accept them as they realize who they really are, it is true that the necessity to live as your true gender is so crucial for survival that if you must leave family and friends behind who do not understand, you do it.  It's either that or you're not really living...you're just a dead shell going through motions.  Now, that being said, I (and I'm speaking as a transman myself) would be concerned if your friend's child was authorized to take hormones without much therapy.  Because the effects of hormones have a number of things that you cannot reverse.  A doctor is not supposed to prescribe hormones without receiving a letter from a therapist indicating that they do indeed have gender dysphoria and are now capable and ready to transition to their true physical gender.  There are guidelines...and there are measures to "diagnose" it.  However, just because it is something to diagnose, does not mean it is an "illness".  A person can be a very healthy and happy well-adjusted person and be transgender.  The treatment most effective for resulting in a healthy well-adjusted transgender person is to physically transition to their mental gender.  And to partake in therapy for your overall ability to cope effectively with all life matters can't hurt either. 

I think you do exactly what you said... you make her/him as happy as possible. You follow the lead of the child. One day the answer will just present itself, and hopefully by then there will be ways to help in whatever way there needs to be.

Whenever you talk about genitals bible thumpers get all bent out of shape. Just ignore it. They add stress and harm for no reason.

My mother had a classmate that everyone thought was the toughest girl in the world.  The guys didn't mess with her because she was so tough in appearance and mannerisms.  This was in the late 1950's.  She went on to live with a girl from the same class.  She was my mother's friend and so was the other girl.   Many years later she went through the process of gender change through John Hopkin's.  He is now still with the same woman and they live away from our small town that probably woud have a hard time accepting this but from everything I have heard over the years they are happy.  I had the opportunity to look through my mother's yearbook and it was amazing how masculine in appearance she was in HS.  I believe sometimes there are not really choices in the matter and the body gets mixed up during development.  How sad and confusing for someone who has to live with the confusion and feelings that probably are distressing and scary.  I would not want to have to walk in their shoes.

I believe God has his hand in everything and that is why there are avenues to help these people.

What is difference between genetic and societal influences on gender identity? How would someone (particular doctors) figure out whether wanting to behave, dress, be like a male is based on genes or or society?

Someone who wants to be female might say that she wants to wear skirts, but what if, for the sake of argument, the culture that she lives in decides that skirts are male and not female clothing? In other words, what does she mean that she wants to be a female? Should therapists encourage people like her to adapt culturally defined gender behaviors?

I heard on the show that parents consider their child's comments and behavior before deciding whether the child should be anatomically changed to be male or female; however, some males (including myself) have "feminine" qualities and vice versa , and probably not all of them want to change their gender anatomically.