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Topic : 03/14 Mr. Wrong

Number of Replies: 264
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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:25:01 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/18/07) Criminals, deadbeats and bad boys -- most women run from these types of men, but some say Mr. Wrong is the right guy for them. Kelly says her daughter, Heather, married Mr. Wrong, and the price she paid was losing her children. Kelly says Heather's husband, Earl, is an unfit father and can't provide for the family. Heather, 25, says she stands by her 41-year-old husband and wants her parents to stop sabotaging her marriage. Are Heather and Earl really unfit parents, or does Earl deserve a second chance? Then, Sarah, 29, says she's been married to three men in prison, and her current husband is serving a life sentence for murder. Even more shocking, she often takes her two young daughters to visit their step-dad behind bars, and she says they love to see him. Why is Sarah drawn to this type of man? Sarah's mom weighs in on her daughter's love life. And, a woman who gave up nearly 20 years of her life for a man in jail has an important message for Sarah. Will Sarah feel differently after meeting Darlene? Join the discussion.

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January 18, 2007, 2:58 am CST

01/18 Mr. Wrong

Quote From: sabankat

I have dated a number of "Mr. Wrongs" and married one who I thought could change and had changed. I'm recognizing now that the pattern I established of hooking up with the wrong men has to do with my own insecurities and feelings that no one else will have me.  However, as much as I may have allowed myself to be emotionally and/or physically abused, when a child became involved, the situation changed, and the child came first. When my daughter's security and safety was compromised I left. I would never chose a man over my daughter. Now as she is getting older, I realize that it is important for me to set a positive example for her or she will repeat the same patterns as I, so I need to break my cycle of choosing the wrong men and if I get into another relationship, it needs to be positive.
Those are words to live by. Be proud of yourself for breaking the cycle.
 
January 18, 2007, 3:00 am CST

I missed this episode

Can anyone tell me who is Darlene and what her story is?
 
January 18, 2007, 4:37 am CST

Cliff, Kelly, Earl, Heather

My Opinion:  Kelly is MANIPULATIVE and EVIL and should NOT have custody of those kids.  There are many confused situations for whatever reason.  If these children were with foster parents who had no emotional involvement with this family..... THEY WOULD ENCOURAGE HEALTHY VISITATION BETWEEN A MOTHER AND CHILD.  It's like Kelly USES THIS TO TORMENT AND CONTROL HEATHER.  I don't agree with some of Earl's behavior and there are alot of accidents, unusual ACCIDENTS that happen with kids.  But it's not like Earl said:  "Well kid, here's some lighter fluid go play with it  and here's the matches."  Accidents happen.  And alot of times non medical people DON'T KNOW when to take the kids to the Dr.  Although I may not agree with everything about Earl and Heather.... I feel sorry for Heather and having to have such an evil Mother..... Any mother who will not nuture a relationship between a Mother and children is EVIL.  Kelly is evil and I have no other word.  THIS IS ONE THING I HATE ABOUT OUR LEGAL SYSTEM.  ACCIDENTS get the same penalties as CRIMINALS WHO SIT AND PREMEDITATE THESE SORTS OF THINGS.  Maybe you need another mother Heather.  You need to be adopted.
 
January 18, 2007, 5:48 am CST

01/18 Mr. Wrong

Okay, I have to ask this, did I hear the previews right,

the child lit himself on fire, the father said "It ain't that bad" sent the child back to bed , and Mom went along with that, and now can't figure out why the children were taken ?

I really don't give a damn how educated you are or how you were raised, how can anyone choose a man over their children ?Men are a dime a dozen, especially the "Bad Boys", your children are a gift.

Maybe I have this pegged wrong, guess I'll have to wait and see.

 
January 18, 2007, 5:53 am CST

01/18 Mr. Wrong

Well first of all, I must start out by saying that I am a little biased in this situation because Sarah, the woman married to the man in prison, is my sister. However, I do know first hand what their situation is like. Sarah is happy and I support any decision she makes 100% as long as the outcome makes her happy. She has known Willy, her husband, for a long time. It's not like she just met some guy in prison and decided to throw her life away. They were friends before he was ever locked up. They have history together. Not only that, but why should she settle for some guy out here with money that can take care of her and her children, etc if that type of guy wouldn't make her happy? She's already found the person that fulfills her spiritually. I think it's admirable for someone these days to marry for love as opposed to what they can do financially or physically for one another. I've been there when these two have visited eachother and they are so in love. The words spoken between them are romantic in a way I've never seen between a couple out here. Knowing my sister and her history in the love department, I'm completely happy for her and I don't care what anyone says. Don't judge them for you're not in their shoes. It's not your authority to judge their actions.

 
January 18, 2007, 5:58 am CST

01/18 Mr. Wrong

Quote From: timmbbo

So much of what I said (and what other have said) in the dontdatehimgirl.com post can be applied here.

 

As a man myself, I am disgusted when certain men behave in the ways shown on this show, and in the ways that you posters have described.

 

People often ask why there are so few good men. I think alot of women look to the "bad boys" to provide a sense of excitement. I think some women look at the "bad boy" as a challenge and think they can change him. Some women think, foolishly, "yeah, he treated those other girls like crap, but I won't let him do that to me.", which makes no sense and is illogical in many ways. And sadly, alot of women deserve to be treated like crap, when that just isn't the case.

 

Then you factor in the fact that it;s just harder to be a "good guy". Women tend to misjudge "good" as "wimpy". I am a good guy. I would spend my last dollar on you, I would stay up all night tutoring you for a test when I have work the next day, I treat you like a lady, but I would also tell you you are wrong when I believe you are, and will stand up for myself if anyone gets out of line with me. To me, those are two key elements of the "good guy", along with being a provider, a supporter, a protector and great with kids. Women just tend see those qualities as negative for some reason, and that just makes it harder and harder for men to be "good" when "bad boys" are routinely rewarded for bad behaviour. Unfortunately, I know of a few guys who didn't have any luck with women when they behaved like gentlemen, yet when they gave up and started acting like a-holes, they had more women then they could handle.

 

And let's not forget the true a-holes, the guys that deliberately seek out women with low self-esteem, and make the woman feel good with attention and compliments and gifts, only to tear them down further than they have ever been before.

And you pointed out the problem, the true a-holes are activly searching for the woman with the low self esteem, or the women so desparate to be with a man, they settle for anyone they can get, instead of maybe broadening their own horizons through education, travel or just getting out.

I married a so- called "nice guy" because I know I am better than these "bad Boys" and I don't have nor do I make time for their dramam or tantrums, you want to go, then go, but I do NOT have a revolving door policy.

My husband is a good provider, great Dad, and he is not a wimp, I do NOT live my life walking on eggshells or wondering how to make him happy, I make him happy by being myself.

Take heart, I think there are women out there who would LOVE to find the nice guys, and like many others I had to kiss a few frogs in my time to find my Prince Charming.

 
January 18, 2007, 8:05 am CST

My past with Loser Men

In my 20's I was drawn to losers like a moth to a flame.  They were all looking for a "good woman" to help them "change their ways" Yeah right.  I was cheated on, slapped around, lost hundreds of dollars paying their bills.  I wised up and kicked my last and final loser to the curb. The difference between me and these women is that I NEVER drug an innocent child into my stupidity.  I finally married a wonderful man and we have a one year old daughter.  He is a wonderful role model for the baby, he works hard and he loves and respects me. 

What right to I have to judge these women you may ask.  I am a mother and it pisses me off to see women that are so cavalier with their children's futures.  The first relationship with a man a little girl has is the relationship with her father, and it should be a wonderful loving healthy relationship.  She should grow up demanding that the men she date treat her as well as her daddy does.

I am the most laid back person in the world, if your gay that's fine with me, if your muslim I don't automatically assume you're a crazed terroist.  However women that don't stick up for their children make my blood boil.  And yes I am including the woman that takes her daughters to prison to visit a murderer in my statements.

 

 

 
January 18, 2007, 8:05 am CST

the child with burns

Heather and Earl, leaving your child with those burns without seeking professional medical treatment is absolutely unacceptable.  And I don't think you even get it what an outrageous act of neglect that was.  I speak from experience, because I am a registered nurse who worked in a burn unit for five years.  That child could have gotten an infection that might have killed him, not to mention the pain he suffered and the risk of other complications.  Surely you have burned yourself on the stove at one time or another...now take that amount of pain and multiply it about a hundred times, and that is what you made your child endure because you failed to take him to the hospital where he could be properly treated.  Shame on you!  You two need to get your heads out of your heinies and learn some responsibility and parenting skills before you deserve to even see your children again, let alone consider custody. 
 
January 18, 2007, 8:18 am CST

Not a good idea

It sounds to me like she is in a comfort zone while they are locked up, & when they get out she has no more interest. Its like she doesn't deal with them on a daily basis, there is no real interaction etc..., and when they get out, now reality sets in & we have to interact.
 
January 18, 2007, 8:35 am CST

Are You insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote From: lvacffeshp

My Opinion:  Kelly is MANIPULATIVE and EVIL and should NOT have custody of those kids.  There are many confused situations for whatever reason.  If these children were with foster parents who had no emotional involvement with this family..... THEY WOULD ENCOURAGE HEALTHY VISITATION BETWEEN A MOTHER AND CHILD.  It's like Kelly USES THIS TO TORMENT AND CONTROL HEATHER.  I don't agree with some of Earl's behavior and there are alot of accidents, unusual ACCIDENTS that happen with kids.  But it's not like Earl said:  "Well kid, here's some lighter fluid go play with it  and here's the matches."  Accidents happen.  And alot of times non medical people DON'T KNOW when to take the kids to the Dr.  Although I may not agree with everything about Earl and Heather.... I feel sorry for Heather and having to have such an evil Mother..... Any mother who will not nuture a relationship between a Mother and children is EVIL.  Kelly is evil and I have no other word.  THIS IS ONE THING I HATE ABOUT OUR LEGAL SYSTEM.  ACCIDENTS get the same penalties as CRIMINALS WHO SIT AND PREMEDITATE THESE SORTS OF THINGS.  Maybe you need another mother Heather.  You need to be adopted.
Please tell me your post was a joke.  Heather and Earl weren't fit to raise animals and you are suggesting that there children be returned to them because "accidents happen"
 
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