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Topic : 01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Number of Replies: 902
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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:26:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Young moms have a million questions about their little ones, from, “How do I stop the temper tantrums?” to “What do I do if my child just won’t eat?” Dr. Phil enlists the help of a family of experts in the field of pediatrics: Dr. William Sears and sons, Dr. James Sears, and Dr. Robert Sears. Collectively they’ve written 50 books that cover anything and everything a mom or dad could ever want to know. Together they field questions from young mothers. First, Angela says her 3-year-old daughter, Ellie, has been a screamer since the day she was born. Could Ellie’s temperament be the result of Angela’s feelings toward her at birth? Then, Robert and Wendy argue over what to do with their baby’s night crying. Robert claims Wendy runs to their 4 ½-month-old son, Ethan, at every whimper, sigh and cry. Wendy says Robert just doesn’t get it -- and why would he? She says he just sleeps right through it. Plus, Lisa says she’s terrified of germs and takes every precaution to keep her kids from getting sick. Her husband, Michael, says “Enough already!” Who’s right? Learn the answers to these and other parenting dilemmas and share your own concerns here.

For more information, visit http://www.askdrsears.com.

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January 17, 2007, 1:06 pm CST

Mother of 5 Here!

Quote From: gwarrior6

I've been thinking about your problem and have you tried goat's milk?  Sometimes the baby has a Lactose intolerance and can't digest cow's milk.  Maybe she needs another couple of months of breastfeeding/goat's milk before you introduce solid foods.  Many pediatricians want you to wait until 6 months before you introduce solid foods.  I'd probably get nutrition advice from another pediatrician.  A lot of times it's the food they eat that causes problems.
I didn't think there were different forms of colic? Thats a new one to me! Try giving her some apple or prune juice diluted , half water , half juice. You can also try getting her to sleep in her own bed by putting one of your previously worn t-shirt in the bed with her for comfort. It's a security thing. Or you can try letting her cry it out.It's not easy and I've had to do that a couple of times with my own children.It's hard to do especially with your first baby but Mom needs rest too. Also I would seek the advice of another pediatrician. And someone also made a comment about not putting her on solid foods yet until she's six months old.Thats what pediatricians say to do now but when my oldest kid was a baby it was four months old to try on solid foods. I guess it's ultimatley up to the parents on what you think your baby needs. My son had a partial cleft palate when he was born. I knew something was wrong because the formula would constantly come out of his mouth , he had no suction on the bottle and he constantly had ear infections. I changed peds within the same practice and they found it the first time he had a check up with them. He had surgery to correct it about 6 months later. Some pediatricians aren't worth a hoot.If I were you I'd get a second opinion. Your baby may have an underlying problem that hasn't been found yet. You could switch the formula to lactose free in the mean time. I hope I've helped?
 
January 18, 2007, 8:10 am CST

Explain The Difference Between SIDS and Infant death

I am not a young mom, just a young grandmom. I hope you do not mind me asking this question. First let me explain why. Our family has lost an infant to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).  Since his death I have become aware that many people, including professionals,  mix the definitions of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and Sudden infant death.  Sudden Infant Death Syndrome was explained to our family that it is not preventable or predictable.  SIDS  is a medical mystery.  There is nothing a caregiver could have done to stop their baby from succumbing to SIDS.  Sudden infant death is a term used to explain events that could have been prevented, like the use of inappropriate sleeping areas.  It would be helpful for Dr. Phil to explain the difference between the two terms in a simple, concrete way so there is no longer confusion about the terms.  Thank you in advance.

 
January 18, 2007, 10:06 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: jewelsmuse

I am not a young mom, just a young grandmom. I hope you do not mind me asking this question. First let me explain why. Our family has lost an infant to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).  Since his death I have become aware that many people, including professionals,  mix the definitions of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and Sudden infant death.  Sudden Infant Death Syndrome was explained to our family that it is not preventable or predictable.  SIDS  is a medical mystery.  There is nothing a caregiver could have done to stop their baby from succumbing to SIDS.  Sudden infant death is a term used to explain events that could have been prevented, like the use of inappropriate sleeping areas.  It would be helpful for Dr. Phil to explain the difference between the two terms in a simple, concrete way so there is no longer confusion about the terms.  Thank you in advance.

I also hope that Dr. Phil expanded on this during the show.  It is so sad that in our country, we can't get people to talk about SIDS.  2500+ innocent babies are dying every year in the USA alone and you rarely hear anything about it.  WHY?  There is a silent killer out there that claims the most innocent lives, it tears marriages apart and it crashes through a community like a bulldozer YET nobody wants to talk about it.  As the mother of a baby that died of SIDS, I really didn't know very much about SIDS UNTIL it happened to me.  Unfortunately in the last 12 years since my son died, I have met way too many other people affected by SIDS who have said the same thing - they knew little to nothing about it until it touched their lives.  The "experts" (and I use that term loosely) come out with all these risk reducers BUT they fail to tell people that thousands of babies are still dying even after their families follow EVERY risk reducer out there.  I really hope that Dr. Phil will touch on this fact and the fact that SIDS affects so many people so tremendously.
 
January 18, 2007, 10:36 am CST

About SIDS...

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is a diagnosis made when no other explanation can be found, and everything else is ruled out.  There's a lot that remains unknown about it or education would be a top priority.  Experts aren't really sure what it is.  www.sids.org is a good informative site i found that explains more in detail what you can do to help prevent it (although it's clearly not 100%). 

 

 
January 18, 2007, 12:03 pm CST

helpinga 3 year old

Quote From: gwarrior6

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is a diagnosis made when no other explanation can be found, and everything else is ruled out.  There's a lot that remains unknown about it or education would be a top priority.  Experts aren't really sure what it is.  www.sids.org is a good informative site i found that explains more in detail what you can do to help prevent it (although it's clearly not 100%). 

 

Please help.I lost my one and only grandson 5 months ago to sids.They say time will heal but the pain is still very stronge....We need to get moe info out there for helping parents and grandparents on how to talk and deal with a child passing away from sids...in florida we have nothing or know one to help..we call our state reps.because oct.is sids awareness month but we cant get some states like florida to even say we our sorry for your lose..Sorry anyway about my oldest grand child shes still havinf trouble with brother being gone she asked the other day something i coulodnt do or say anything she asked why God would take jaiden and when is he coming to get me because i want to see my brother....So please answer how do i explain that to a 3 year old
 
January 18, 2007, 12:33 pm CST

Professional Insensitivity to SID's Families

 I had a problem with the professional insensitivity during the investigative process that my entire family went through when my baby son passed away from SIDS. The professionals that I 'm referring to is DHS of Oklahoma. They did not consider the feelings of the family of the deceased. They were accusing my husband and I of killing our son. They wouldn't let us be in the room with our own child till after they went through a series of questions. The main question that a DHS worker asked several times during my questioning was why did you kill your son. Finally the police officer had to ask her to leave. There is more, but that is the main question that I do not understand, why was this professional so insensitive towards me as a grieving mother.  I thought I was innocent till proven guilty. No, it is guilty till proven innocent. After all the questioning we had a DHS worker coming in and out of our home for months. I feel that it was unfair and very, very insensitive. I do not understand how some one can accuse someone of such a horrid thing. DHS finally left us alone after the coroners report came in the mail and stated my son died due to SIDS. It is anyone's worst nightmare to loose a child; but it is worse when you can not even grieve  because you have to defend your family.  I was in a state of shock for ever it seems. I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through the same thing. If so, I am deeply sorry. Dr. Phil I belive that they need your help in sensitivity training. Dr. Phil please help.
 
January 18, 2007, 1:26 pm CST

SIDS Definition Clarification

Quote From: jewelsmuse

I am not a young mom, just a young grandmom. I hope you do not mind me asking this question. First let me explain why. Our family has lost an infant to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).  Since his death I have become aware that many people, including professionals,  mix the definitions of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and Sudden infant death.  Sudden Infant Death Syndrome was explained to our family that it is not preventable or predictable.  SIDS  is a medical mystery.  There is nothing a caregiver could have done to stop their baby from succumbing to SIDS.  Sudden infant death is a term used to explain events that could have been prevented, like the use of inappropriate sleeping areas.  It would be helpful for Dr. Phil to explain the difference between the two terms in a simple, concrete way so there is no longer confusion about the terms.  Thank you in advance.

I am so sorry to read of the death of your grandchild and of all the other families who have experienced a similar experience.  I am a SIDS mom myself.  I am also the Executive Director for Sudden Infant Death Services of Illinois.  You are slightly misinformed of the definitions.  SIDS is defined as the unexpected death of an infant from one month to one year old.  That death remains unexplained after 3 criteria have been fulfilled. First, a complete autopsy.  Second, a review of the case history.  Third, a death scene investigation.  When all those criteria have been fulfilled and nothing remarkable has been found a ruling of SIDS can be made. 

 

Sudden Infant Death is a huge  category that describes any sudden death of an infant.  The cause can be preventable, such a accidental suffocation, but it could also be a death due to pnuemonia, dehydration, viral infection, heart failure etc.   

 

With regards to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) we now have may tools that parents, grandparents and caregivers can utilize to help reduce the risk of SIDS.  You are correct, we cannot yet PREVENT SIDS, because we do not yet know the specific cause.  However, in the last 10 years, our research has identified many behaviors that can significanly increase an infants chances for survival even if they are a vulnerable child.

 

As a SIDS parent, did I cause my infants death because she was sleeping on her tummy?  No.  that used to be normal practice.  However, today, with the information that we have available, she might not have died had she been placed on her back to sleep, in a safe crib with no soft bedding. 

 

Most parents only want the best for their children and are very well intentioned.  Unfortunately, not all parents know about all the steps that they can take to reduce the likelihood that their infant will die.  Check out more information on www.sidsillinois.org

 
January 18, 2007, 1:48 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: chazmith

 I had a problem with the professional insensitivity during the investigative process that my entire family went through when my baby son passed away from SIDS. The professionals that I 'm referring to is DHS of Oklahoma. They did not consider the feelings of the family of the deceased. They were accusing my husband and I of killing our son. They wouldn't let us be in the room with our own child till after they went through a series of questions. The main question that a DHS worker asked several times during my questioning was why did you kill your son. Finally the police officer had to ask her to leave. There is more, but that is the main question that I do not understand, why was this professional so insensitive towards me as a grieving mother.  I thought I was innocent till proven guilty. No, it is guilty till proven innocent. After all the questioning we had a DHS worker coming in and out of our home for months. I feel that it was unfair and very, very insensitive. I do not understand how some one can accuse someone of such a horrid thing. DHS finally left us alone after the coroners report came in the mail and stated my son died due to SIDS. It is anyone's worst nightmare to loose a child; but it is worse when you can not even grieve  because you have to defend your family.  I was in a state of shock for ever it seems. I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through the same thing. If so, I am deeply sorry. Dr. Phil I belive that they need your help in sensitivity training. Dr. Phil please help.
Unfortunately  my wife and I also lost an infant to S.I.D.S.  You can read our whole story at the following link:  http://www.healingokhearts.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=30

From the mulitple conversations I have had with other families that have gone through the similar tragedy it seems common to be treated rudely by authorities.  I believe this to be from lack of training on their part to handle such cases.  Oklahoma DHS does seem to be very uneducated when it comes to S.I.D.S.  I believe the lack of training stems from the general lack of S.I.D.S. awareness.

That is why we all must unite together to help spread the awareness of S.I.D.S.

Honestly when my wife and I went through our ordeal we could not find any sort of help such a support group.  DHS and other agencies were clueless as to where to direct us for support groups.  That is why my wife and I started www.healingokhearts.org and since we started that group we have since been introduced to others online that share in our loss.

There is a misconception that S.I.D.S can be "PREVENTED", but my honest answer to such a term is how can one PREVENT something that no one has a clue to what the CAUSE is?  S.I.D.S. at this time cannot be prevented.

The pain of S.I.D.S. is very real the emotional roller coaster ride one goes through when dealing with S.I.D.S. is very REAL.

Families that have been lost an infant to S.I.D.S. just want their story to be heard and they want to reach out to help others that are hurting from the same pain. 


 
January 18, 2007, 1:51 pm CST

I think its nice

I think it is a good thing to let your children sleep in bed with you. when i was a young single mom it was the only option. i just think that once they are over 2 or so they need to be introduced into there own bed. but when they are babies it is a great way for mom and dad to bond with baby.
 
January 18, 2007, 2:41 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: amberenzie

I think it is a good thing to let your children sleep in bed with you. when i was a young single mom it was the only option. i just think that once they are over 2 or so they need to be introduced into there own bed. but when they are babies it is a great way for mom and dad to bond with baby.
for some of us, having our children sleep with us casues  all of  not to get a  good night sleep and we  can bond with our babies while they rae awake and  all of us  are alert. It depends on the family and the way my hubby sleeps, no way was co-sleeping an option. Of course we had and still have our snuggle times and our kids are in bed with us, in fact, their daddy does the bed time routine the biggest part of the time and it's nothing for him to fall asleep with them which is no problem but when I want hubby beside me, alone in my bed, I have absolutely no problem putting the little ones in their bed or get the daddy up to get in his own bed. it comes down to the personality and needs of the family
 
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