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Topic : 01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Number of Replies: 902
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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:26:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Young moms have a million questions about their little ones, from, “How do I stop the temper tantrums?” to “What do I do if my child just won’t eat?” Dr. Phil enlists the help of a family of experts in the field of pediatrics: Dr. William Sears and sons, Dr. James Sears, and Dr. Robert Sears. Collectively they’ve written 50 books that cover anything and everything a mom or dad could ever want to know. Together they field questions from young mothers. First, Angela says her 3-year-old daughter, Ellie, has been a screamer since the day she was born. Could Ellie’s temperament be the result of Angela’s feelings toward her at birth? Then, Robert and Wendy argue over what to do with their baby’s night crying. Robert claims Wendy runs to their 4 ½-month-old son, Ethan, at every whimper, sigh and cry. Wendy says Robert just doesn’t get it -- and why would he? She says he just sleeps right through it. Plus, Lisa says she’s terrified of germs and takes every precaution to keep her kids from getting sick. Her husband, Michael, says “Enough already!” Who’s right? Learn the answers to these and other parenting dilemmas and share your own concerns here.

For more information, visit http://www.askdrsears.com.

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January 19, 2007, 9:11 am CST

9 mos. and not gaining weight

At my son's 9 mo. checkup, Ryan's weight (15 pounds) was no longer on the growth chart although his height is in the 50th percentile.  He started out at 6.5 pounds and doubled his weight at 4 months (13 pounds).  At his 6 mo. checkup, he was 14.5 pounds.  Ryan's pediatrician weighed him again at 7 months, he was 15 pounds.  From 7 to 9 months, he didn't gain any weight.  The pediatrician had blood work done and tested him for cystic fibrosis (negative).  The bloodwork looked fine except his white blood count was slightly low but the pediatrician said the level was not alarming.  Ryan has his first cold...little stuffy, runny nose (he passed the same cold to me).

 

Here's Ryan's diet:

1-6 months - breastfed.

6 months - organic formula with AHA and DRA, organic rice cereal, organic whole grain oatmeal

7 months - organic baby vegetables

8 months - organic baby fruit

 

Ryan was eating 4 8-ounce bottles per day and at about 8 months he stopped finishing his bottles (4-6 ounces) but he was eating a larger quantity of solids.  Cereal and fruit in the morning and one or two vegetables at night.  He also started crawling and is very active.  Constantly exploring, climbing the stairs, moving around, can hardly sit still.

 

The pediatrician asked that I push the formula and Ryan is taking 4 8-ounce bottles again.  He eats a serving of fruit in the morning and a chicken/vegetable/pasta serving at dinnertime.  Plus, he's picking up pieces of cereal and eating those.  He's even tasted food from our plates...he likes tilapia, salmon, guacamole and baked sweet potatoes.

 

Two weeks after his 9 mo. checkup, he's gained 10 ounces and the pediatrician wants to weigh him every two weeks.

 

Also, I only gained 10 pounds when I was pregnant.  I was overweight before I became pregnant and had nausea the entire 9 months.  I took Zofran from about 13 weeks(8mg, I think) until the end of my pregnancy...half that does from 5 - 9 months. 

 

Do you think my pediatrician's recommendations are good?  Do you have a suggestions? 

 

Thanks.

 
January 19, 2007, 9:13 am CST

Just a suggestion

Quote From: bratnbr1

Hi. I am a 23 year old mother of two beautiful children. I have a two year old and a seven month old and they are great kids most of the time. I have a couple questions for the experts: My two year old is extrememly smart... sometimes she surprises me at things she says. She is stubborn and knows what she wants and likes to push my buttons. I can't get her to potty train at all... she did for a while but then just refused. I have tried EVERYTHING that I could think of and what people have told me to do. Should I just wait for her to tell me when she is ready? Also... she likes to throw fits every once in a while and things I do don't seem to work. I have tried time out... she just screams more... I try spanking her... I get the same reaction. It gets to where I finally just put her in her bed and walk out. What do you think I should do about this? OK... one more question... like I said, my daughter was 2 in November and she still has her "passi" when she sleeps. I put her into her "big girl bed" at two but i'm dreading taking away the passi. She goes to bed so well and I don't want to mess that up. I have tried telling her that they are for babies and I have also tried cutting one and telling her it was broken. Do I just take it away and listen to her cry at night and during naps? Thanks for any advice you can give.

I'm no expert, but as far as the toilet training goes, have you tried charts and stickers?  Or put her on a schedule, and have her sit on the toilet for 10 minutes every two hours whether or not she needs to go.  I don't know what you've tried.

 

As for the tantrums, ignoring them is the best advice.  It gets worse before it gets better and then dies down.  If you're at the store and she's throwing a fit, walk away (don't leave her, but just ignore her bid for attention).  If you're at home, walk out of the room.

 
January 19, 2007, 9:22 am CST

Although...

Quote From: tkay81

 

  I'm kind of sick and tired of hearing, "Do what's best for you."  As a parent you don't do what's best for you, that's part of being a responsible adult and parent entrusted to meet the needs of a child that is relying on you.  Breast milk is BEST and less than 1 percent of mom's can't breastfeed.  Yes, the first week or 2 are difficult for all moms and many give up.  What is wrong with meeting your child's needs?  If they are crying to get a bottle it's because they are hungry.  If they are crying to get a diaper change, they need changed.  Do you want to sit in poop?  If your child is seeking comfort and you hold him you are teaching him he can rely on you and the world for meeting his emotional needs.  It's not all about you as a parent.  It is a job and no one said it's supposed to be easy. Having a degree in early childhood education I learned to look not at my view as a parent, but from the point of my child and understanding what is going to help him develop and grow as a person that will have a strong sense of self and contribute to the world.  If you want to teach compassion you first must model it.  Thank God for the experts that can convey the research to the public and to the mother's that didn't go to school for 4 years to learn about how to help their children flourish.

Every child is different, what they respond to is different.  Their temperments are different.  Yes, breast milk is best, but if she's in the 1% that CANNOT breastfeed, what is she supposed to do?  Children don't always cry for physical needs-they also do it for attention.  Studies show that if a child is not picked up and held everytime they demand it, they learn not to depend on people for everything they need.  Not to say you would let your child "sit in poop", but if nothing's wrong and the child is crying to be held, not picking him up is not going to permanently warp him.  And this is from someone with a 4 year degree (BSN), and a license.
 
January 19, 2007, 9:22 am CST

colic

I, as a grandmother, recently learned that babies who are breastfeed and colicky may have a gluten (or wheat) intolerance and will become gassy and uncomfortable because their mother ate bread or something which contained wheat products. Once my daughter gave up anything that may contain gluten, her baby's colic eased considerably..... which was difficult as she was very fond of carbs. But, choosing between hours of screaming, little sleep, a wee one in pain, and a sandwich is not that difficult a decision to make. I also understand that this gluten intolerance, on the part of the baby, is usually a tempory one.
 
January 19, 2007, 9:30 am CST

New mom....Worried about baby's sleeping position!

My son is 2 months old and he won't sleep on anything but his tummy. He turns his head to the side and all but I worry about SIDS. Is there anything I can do to get him to sleep on his bak or side? Sometimes I lay him on his side and he just rolls himself over onto his tummy. What do I do?

 

 

 
January 19, 2007, 9:46 am CST

TWO weeks? Not for me....

Quote From: tkay81

 

  I'm kind of sick and tired of hearing, "Do what's best for you."  As a parent you don't do what's best for you, that's part of being a responsible adult and parent entrusted to meet the needs of a child that is relying on you.  Breast milk is BEST and less than 1 percent of mom's can't breastfeed.  Yes, the first week or 2 are difficult for all moms and many give up.  What is wrong with meeting your child's needs?  If they are crying to get a bottle it's because they are hungry.  If they are crying to get a diaper change, they need changed.  Do you want to sit in poop?  If your child is seeking comfort and you hold him you are teaching him he can rely on you and the world for meeting his emotional needs.  It's not all about you as a parent.  It is a job and no one said it's supposed to be easy. Having a degree in early childhood education I learned to look not at my view as a parent, but from the point of my child and understanding what is going to help him develop and grow as a person that will have a strong sense of self and contribute to the world.  If you want to teach compassion you first must model it.  Thank God for the experts that can convey the research to the public and to the mother's that didn't go to school for 4 years to learn about how to help their children flourish.

TWO weeks?   Don't I wish.  Try 12 weeks...12 weeks of feeding on demand, skin to skin, lactation consultants, pumping and still no good latch.  This is after a week in NICU where he was given formula and I pumped around the clock to make sure my milk came in.  I knew breast was best, I knew no artificial nipples should be introduced the first week but things don't always go as planned.  I was suppose to take my baby home with me, not leave my baby at the hospital.  There are so many women out there who tried and tried and TRIED to breastfeed and DID NOT give up after a couple of weeks....and still no success after 3 or 6 or even 10 months.  They have issues with supply and latch and still pump for only a few milliters of milk/day and they know breast is best but have to supplement anyway.  Now...I am pumping and he gets 100% breastmilk at 4 months, however, I do not blame, judge or point fingers at women who choose not to breastfeed because I don't know their personal situation. I am glad my son gets breastmilk...not the way I planned but it is hard to let go of that nursing relationship I really desired and worked very hard to have.   It is sad that other moms judge when I get my bottle out and think I am a selfish mother because they don't know me and they don't know what I've been through.  It would be nice if there were compassion instead of judgement.  I am just so thankful I have a healthy baby....crying, whining, playful, and alert!
 
January 19, 2007, 10:13 am CST

Moving to Crib

Dr. Phil said that Dr. Sears would answer some questions submitted online - is this true?  I have 5 of the Sears' books, but I can't find an answer to this question.

 

How can I entice my infant to move to his crib?  He is 8 months old today.  I would like to achieve this by the time he is crawling, because I think it's important for his safety.

 

Background and Details:  Luke slept in a co-sleeper attached to our bed until he was about 5 months old.  Then we had him in the co-sleeper with the sides up in our room, a few feet from the bed.  I was able to put him completely asleep in the crib for awhile when he was 6 months, and he would only wake up 2-3 times a night.  Then he started waking up 10 times or so a night, and I always go to him, and picking him up was getting out of control.  He weighs 19 pounds, and I can't manage him for more than a few minutes myself, and my husband wants to just let him cry and is not interested in the family bed.  So I set up our spare double bed with side rails and he's been sleeping in there for over a month now.  This way, when he awakens in the night (now two short awakenings within a few hours of going to bed and then for nursing at midnight and around 3am) I can lie next to him without picking him up.  This helps him go back to sleep fast, I don't have to be so awake, and it's much easier on my body.  But now that he is starting to move more, I am getting scared that the side rails are not going to be enough really soon, and I need to get him in the crib.  Again, if my husband would agree to co-sleeping, I'd just take him into the bed, but he won't.  It also probably isn't the best idea given that my husband gets beeps all night on his beeper when he's on call for work.  I want the baby to get a good rest.  So how can I get him into his crib?   Everytime I put him in it, even to change his clothes, he cries.  Thanks in advance.  Wendy

 
January 19, 2007, 10:21 am CST

Is this too much medication and is it safe for my baby?

I had a baby boy December 3, 2005.  He seemed healthy at birth but he cried continually. All our efforts to soothe him seemed in vain.  We tried swaddling, soothing noises, rocking, etc.  When I mentioned his continual crying to his pediatrician, he said that it was colic.  The baby continued to cry non-stop. At his 6 month check-up I told my pediatrician that I have 2 other children and they have never cried like this.  I told him that I thought it had to be something other than colic he seemed to be in severe pain.  I told him that he would "growl" at his bottle, that he spit everything up that was thin, we thickened his baby food with rice cereal otherwise he wouldn't keep it down.  We tried soy formula and other formulas but the only one that he could tolerate was thickened formula designed for babies that spit up. He managed to keep that down more than the others, but still continued to spit up a little. ( He was breast-fed for 2 months, feeding on demand. The doctor said that maybe he wasn't being satisfied so we added formula feedings in between. ) The doctor said that he may have acid  reflux and he prescribed Zantac twice daily, morning and night.  His symptoms  did seem to  improve for a time but every month or so he  would seem to regress.  I increased his Zantac and it seemed to relieve him.  Recently at his 13 month check up I told the doctor that I was giving him 2ml of Zantac at morning and evening and it was no longer helping him.  He would awaken at night every 2 hours screaming and crying.  He was inconsolable.   Some nights he seemed to be grasping for breath just before his first cry.  Before this regular visit with his pediatrician, we took him to an ear, nose, and throat specialist.  He told us that the acid reflux could cause damage to the babies wind pipe if not treated properly.  The pediatrician now has him on Prevacid 15 mg before bed along with his Zantac. He has shown much improvement and is sleeping through the night. He does waken occasionally. My concern is that ... I don't feel comfortable giving him so much medication at such a young age.  He is no longer on formula. He is a very picky eater. He does not like baby food.  He only has 2 teeth and it is difficult for him to eat table food.  The doctor doesn't want him to have vitamins because he is not sure how they would inter-act with the Zantac and Prevacid.  He is in 25th percentile for his weight and 50th for his height.  The doctor does not want to run tests  because he feels they are too invasive for such a young child.  Is this medication going to harm my child in the long run? Should I have him tested to be sure that the diagnosis is correct?
 
January 19, 2007, 10:36 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: tonyalynn31

I was 21 when I had my first child, a daughter. Being young and inexperienced, when my daughter was 2 and a half months old she would cry for hours and it always seemed to happend towards late afternoon. I talked to my mother about it and she said it sounded like colic. She told me that it was probably cause of the milk I was giving her. So I called the doctor and I told him what was going on and I thought that it would be a good idea to change her milk, cause I thought that might be the reason why she was colic. He told me that he didn't think it would be a good idea to change her formula, cause he didn't think that was the reason she had colic. Well I didn't listen to the doctors, sometimes what the doctor doesn't know doesn't hurt him. So I went and got a different formula, I bought lactose free formula. Since you don't want to just stop the other formula and start a new one, cause if you change there formula too many times it will upset there stomachs. So, I would still fix her other formula which was similac with iron, and then fix the lactose free formula. I would give her about 3 ounces of her regular formula and then about an ounce of the lactose free. I did that for 2 days until I was down to giving an ounce of her regular formula to 3 ounces of lactose free formula. The third day all I gave her was the lactose free formula. Since she had been getting the regular formula for 2 and a half months it took about a month to to get her little tummy soothed. There is a little secret that some people don't know about that does help little ones that have colic. It isn't a drug, but the things that are in it help soothe them somehow, not sure how it does it but it works. The secret is Cat-Nip Tea. You can get it at a nutritional store. All you do is boil some water, pour the water into a cup, about 4 ounces. Then you add a tea bag, while it is still hot add just a pinch of sugar to give it a little taste, otherwise they won't drink it. It doesn't taste good without a little bit of sweetner. Let it sit there until it cools off enough to put it in the bottle. Then you can give it to them once they start crying, when you know that they are in pain. I think it gives a coating to there little tummies to help absorb some of the milk so it doesn't upset there tummies. It was a life saver until she got over being colic. I mostly would give it to her when we would have to go out somewhere in the evening or to church. I am sure glad that I decided to change her milk when she was little, cause when she was a year old and I started introducing whole milk to her, soon after she would drink it it would come right back up. Her stomach refused the milk. Knowing that she needed milk cause of the nurtients that were in it, I would add a little chocolate syrup to it and it didn't bother her. I though it was weird that she could handle chocolate milk but not plain milk. Although I knew too much chocolate isn't good for toddlers, she drank alot of apple juice. I thought I would just share my story with ya'll, hoping that it helps anyone with a colic baby. Of course sometimes it could be more than just colic. But if you do take your baby to the doctor and they rule out any major problems and just say that it is colic, try switching your baby's formula to a lactose free formula, and during the process of doing this give them some cat-nip tea, it will help them to relax and stop the crying. I hope my story helps anyone that feels like they are going crazy cause they can't help there child with colic. Good luck, and remember don't let the crying drive you crazy if you have a husband give him the baby and just take some time to yourself to regroup and then you can go back to soothing your little one.
I don't know where you're from but my mom's friend was born and raised in Georgia.  She had a nanny that helped raise her.  When she was grown and had her twin boys (now almost 35) she told her to use Catnip tea for her one sons colic.  He had alot of health problems and still does.  My mom's friend said it worked wonderfully.  Just goes to show that sometimes old fashioned remedies work better than what the experts recommend.
 
January 19, 2007, 10:42 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

The lady who wants to keep her kids germ free is outrageous!  It's like keeping germs out of a sewer.  Kids are just messy.  You might as well keep them from any friends too.  Germs travel in the air too, so is breathing still allowed?  What a disservice to the immune system....but i guess it's always good to be hygenic, she just takes it a step too far.

My children don't play in sewers, do yours?
 
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