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Topic : 01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:26:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Young moms have a million questions about their little ones, from, “How do I stop the temper tantrums?” to “What do I do if my child just won’t eat?” Dr. Phil enlists the help of a family of experts in the field of pediatrics: Dr. William Sears and sons, Dr. James Sears, and Dr. Robert Sears. Collectively they’ve written 50 books that cover anything and everything a mom or dad could ever want to know. Together they field questions from young mothers. First, Angela says her 3-year-old daughter, Ellie, has been a screamer since the day she was born. Could Ellie’s temperament be the result of Angela’s feelings toward her at birth? Then, Robert and Wendy argue over what to do with their baby’s night crying. Robert claims Wendy runs to their 4 ½-month-old son, Ethan, at every whimper, sigh and cry. Wendy says Robert just doesn’t get it -- and why would he? She says he just sleeps right through it. Plus, Lisa says she’s terrified of germs and takes every precaution to keep her kids from getting sick. Her husband, Michael, says “Enough already!” Who’s right? Learn the answers to these and other parenting dilemmas and share your own concerns here.

For more information, visit http://www.askdrsears.com.

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January 25, 2007, 6:58 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: faeryedark

Hi Elfie!

yeah, Julian was supposed to be a c-section (early on) then the Doc. thought I should try a "natural" birth.

Of course, half way out (and too late) they realized they should've stuck w/plan A. So, I ended up w/ epidurals (that did nerve damage) and a cracked pelvis and Julian had a broken collar bone from  the "natural" birth..give me c-section anyday! Actually my tubes are tied,the doctor admitted I'm just not built to have babies and, Julian was only 6lbs.

Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through that. 

 

I don't think my body was made to do natural labor either, my babies were 7 pds 2 oz and 7 pds 4 oz and I don't think they would've come out the natural way. LOL  Don't get me wrong, I was looking forward to a natural birth, but for some people, it's just not meant to happen that way.  We are lucky to be able to have cesarians and make choices. 

 

Hope you're doing well. =)

 
January 25, 2007, 7:21 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: elffie

Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through that. 

 

I don't think my body was made to do natural labor either, my babies were 7 pds 2 oz and 7 pds 4 oz and I don't think they would've come out the natural way. LOL  Don't get me wrong, I was looking forward to a natural birth, but for some people, it's just not meant to happen that way.  We are lucky to be able to have cesarians and make choices. 

 

Hope you're doing well. =)

LOL! I was looking forward to the epidural....but that didn't work out for me.
 
January 25, 2007, 10:30 pm CST

Thank you for this info.

Quote From: mustbecrazy

The issue of breast feeding versus formula will be a hot issue of debate for years to come.  Really, either method of feeding your baby is fine...there are benefits to both.

 

An issue that matters more is the care of your baby's teeth...I haven't seen this issue addressed on this particular board.

 

A baby's teeth start coming in somewhere between six and nine months..some earlier, some later.  Keep your baby's teeth clean.  When the baby has his/her first teeth, clean them after each feeding.  Use a damp, clean wash cloth, and gently wipe the teeth.  When the baby has more teeth, you can switch to a child's toothbrush...they make them special for babies and toddlers.  No toothpaste is necessary for young children.  Ask your doctor about fluoride drops too...your doctor will have a chart showing whether there is already fluoride in your tap water. 

 

Also, DO NOT put your baby to bed with a bottle of formula or juice.  If your baby needs a bottle to go to sleep, put warm water in it.  The natural sugars from formula or juice will damage your baby's teeth, causing rampant decay.  This is called "baby bottle mouth".

 

Continue to brush your child's teeth until they are 5 or 6 years old.  They can learn to brush their own teeth much younger than that, but they don't have the manual dexterity to properly clean their own teeth at a young age.  Let them brush first, then follow up by brushing their teeth.  As kids get older, you can ask the dentist for disclosing tablets to check up on how well they are brushing, but this is not for young children. 

 

I used to work in dentist and pediatric offices and have seen a lot of decayed teeth in children.  Little kids have to be put under general anesthetic (most of the time) to fill the cavities and remove badly infected teeth...not a pleasant experience for anybody.  (I'm not a dentist or anything, but it was part of my job to teach proper oral hygiene to parents of children of all ages, and to adults.)

 

GOOD ORAL HYGIENE WILL FOLLOW A CHILD FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE...HEALTHY HABITS NEED TO START EARLY.

 

Did you know that according to recent research, there is a direct correlation between gum disease and heart attacks?  Best to take care of your own teeth too...it's good for your overall health and sets a good example for your children.

 

I HOPE THIS IS HELPFUL TO YOUNG MOMS EVERYWHERE.

I'm trying very hard to do that for my daughter and remembering to brush her teeth at least everyday if not after every meal. She's got six teeth right now. I'm not perfect at it but I do get to them most of the time. I am trying to avoid her having to go through the trauma I went through as a child with dentists. My very first dental experience was after I fell and killed a tooth between the age of four and five. I don't remember the actual killing of my tooth but I remember the dentist holding me down while he was trying to stick a needle in my mouth! I was screaming and fighting them and it just was not a pleasant experience at all. It's not something I want my child to go through. And from that moment on, I pretty much had nothing but problems with my teeth. I still have issues with them but I refuse to go to the dentist unless absolutely necessary; I hate them and I think they charge too much for their services. We only have state insurance and most of the dentists in the state will not take that insurance which I think is wrong. Okay, off my soapbox now.
 
January 25, 2007, 10:39 pm CST

I hear ya!

Quote From: purplepenny

Also, in retrospect, of COURSE you wouldn't give up any of your kids...but that doesn't mean that I am not fearful enough to prevent myself from having more kids.

I do not regret having my daughter, but, if I had known what I was to go through before ever knowing her, or before ever getting pregnant I wouldn't have done it. NO WAY.
I'm not sure if I caught what trouble you went through having your daughter but I'm sorry it turned you off of having more kids. My experience so far has done that to me too. I still would have gone through it, given the choice and knowing what I know because for the most part, I did enjoy the pregnancy and I very much enjoy having my daughter around and I would not have wanted to miss out on having a child. I saw what my younger sister went through with her firstborn and it was pretty scary. She had really high blood pressure during the delivery and was attached to about five machines. She almost ended up with a c-section but fortunately, her son was hanging on and not having trouble so she was able to get through the delivery. She did end up on oxygen for a good bit of it though among other things. So, I kind of knew how things could go and yeah, I was nervous and then I went through my not-so-fun birth and that pretty much turned me off of wanting another. I'm not really on any protection though because I still breastfeed so there's always a chance of an oops but I really try to watch where I am in my cycle and just hope for the best. If it's meant to be, I guess it will happen but I'm definitely not ready for another one right now. I'm not sure if I ever will be.
 
January 26, 2007, 4:17 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: elffie

Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through that. 

 

I don't think my body was made to do natural labor either, my babies were 7 pds 2 oz and 7 pds 4 oz and I don't think they would've come out the natural way. LOL  Don't get me wrong, I was looking forward to a natural birth, but for some people, it's just not meant to happen that way.  We are lucky to be able to have cesarians and make choices. 

 

Hope you're doing well. =)

You're so right ,and thanks!
 
January 26, 2007, 8:10 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: julie1418

LOL! I was looking forward to the epidural....but that didn't work out for me.

Oh, yeah, I was looking forward to an epidural as well!  When I said natural birth, I was meaning vaginal, not actually "natural" like without medications.  I know for sure I wouldn't survive that! LOL  Sorry, I should've been more clear.

 

I was looking forward to a vaginal birth,  but ended up with a cesarian.  My Husband and I even took lamaze class and a birthing class where they scare you with pictures of babies coming out vaginaly. LOL

 
January 26, 2007, 8:18 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: neenawhite

I'm not sure if I caught what trouble you went through having your daughter but I'm sorry it turned you off of having more kids. My experience so far has done that to me too. I still would have gone through it, given the choice and knowing what I know because for the most part, I did enjoy the pregnancy and I very much enjoy having my daughter around and I would not have wanted to miss out on having a child. I saw what my younger sister went through with her firstborn and it was pretty scary. She had really high blood pressure during the delivery and was attached to about five machines. She almost ended up with a c-section but fortunately, her son was hanging on and not having trouble so she was able to get through the delivery. She did end up on oxygen for a good bit of it though among other things. So, I kind of knew how things could go and yeah, I was nervous and then I went through my not-so-fun birth and that pretty much turned me off of wanting another. I'm not really on any protection though because I still breastfeed so there's always a chance of an oops but I really try to watch where I am in my cycle and just hope for the best. If it's meant to be, I guess it will happen but I'm definitely not ready for another one right now. I'm not sure if I ever will be.

If you really, really, really, don't want to get pregnant again, you should get on some birth control.  I don't know if you know or not, but there is a pill that some women can take while breastfeeding and it won't dry your milk.  I took it and it worked great.  I can't remember the specific name of it, but your doctor should know. 

 

I have two kids and my husband and I agreed that we are done adding members to our family so he got a vesectomy.  It's way cheaper and safer than having your tubes tied.  I don't know if you have a partner or not, but it could be something to think about.  I guess my point is, if you don't want to have anymore kids, there are ways to not have anymore.

 

Have a great day. =)

 
January 26, 2007, 8:54 am CST

I agree

Quote From: neenawhite

I'm trying very hard to do that for my daughter and remembering to brush her teeth at least everyday if not after every meal. She's got six teeth right now. I'm not perfect at it but I do get to them most of the time. I am trying to avoid her having to go through the trauma I went through as a child with dentists. My very first dental experience was after I fell and killed a tooth between the age of four and five. I don't remember the actual killing of my tooth but I remember the dentist holding me down while he was trying to stick a needle in my mouth! I was screaming and fighting them and it just was not a pleasant experience at all. It's not something I want my child to go through. And from that moment on, I pretty much had nothing but problems with my teeth. I still have issues with them but I refuse to go to the dentist unless absolutely necessary; I hate them and I think they charge too much for their services. We only have state insurance and most of the dentists in the state will not take that insurance which I think is wrong. Okay, off my soapbox now.

I agree that dentists are expensive, but neglect costs more.  Be sure you are brushing and flossing at least once a day...twice is better.  Try not to pass your fear of dentists on to your child.  The first visit to the dentist should happen at around age 2, where the dentist just gives the child a "ride" up and down in the chair and looks at the teeth with his explorer.  It is a fun experience for the child and promotes a good attitude toward going.  Also, if your child does need some cavities filled, and you don't want her to have general anesthetic, DON'T mention "SHOTS" to your child.  My children have had dental work at a young age, and the dentist kept the needle concealed and was very gentle.  The kids didn't know that they were getting a shot at all.

 

It is very unfortunate that you had such a bad experience when you were a child.  Dentists today are better educated on how to treat kids.  There are sedatives or laughing gas that can be used for a much lower cost than general anesthetic. 

 

Call your state insurance and find out which dentists accept your plan.  I think it is terrible some dentists are so concerned about profit that they won't take the state insurance...when we were on state insurance, we called around to different dentists until we found one that would take our plan...we asked other dentist offices who to call when they said "no".

 

A really good reason to take your child to the dentist is that they can catch the decay early, if there is any.  We were shocked to find out that our youngest child had a perfect check-up at age 4, but a year later, his mouth was filled with decay...he has defective enamel in his baby teeth, and despite not getting candy, and diligent brushing, he still had decay.  He was so well-behaved while having the work done...I held his hand during the shots, which, as I said before, he didn't even know he was getting.  He was 5 when all the work was done, and he didn't even need any laughing gas.  The dentist did a little at a time in multiple visits.  I attribute the good behavior to bringing him to the dentist at a young age, so he could have some positive experiences.  Also, the dentist was generous with the prizes after each visit.  We paid over $1000 out of pocket for all of this work, but it is worth it to keep the baby teeth until they are ready to come out.  They are needed to hold space for the permanent teeth.

 

I applaud your efforts to keep your baby's teeth clean now...keep up the good work.

 
January 26, 2007, 9:00 am CST

Read to your baby

Another issue I have not seen addressed on this board is the importance of reading to your baby.  It is an excellent part of a good bedtime routine.  The babies love picture books.  They love seeing the same book over and over.  As time goes on, they learn to talk, and they love memorizing the books and "reading" them to you.  Even newborns love the sound of your voice...even reading the stock market out of the newpaper out loud to your baby is fun for them.  It is a good way to get your baby calm and relaxed.  When babies start exploring with their hands, they love to have the plastic padded books to look at themselves, and later the cardboard books that don't rip so easily.  Recent studies show that kids who have been read to are smarter and enjoy reading more when they get into school.  They learn to read much easier.  Memorization of books read multiple times to them helps make connections in the brain cells.

 

READ EVERY DAY TO YOUR BABY, FROM DAY ONE.

 
January 26, 2007, 9:15 am CST

fear of another pregnancy

Quote From: purplepenny

LOL, no I'm am very serious about not having more. My husband is getting a vasectomy  some time this year.  And our birth control is like Fort Knox to the third power...LOL

NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! LOL

Nothing I can say will change your mind, and you have a right to make your own decisions, and I respect that.

 

I just wanted to reassure first-time moms that every pregnancy is different, and every labor and delivery experience is different, even with the same person.  I waited 4 1/2 years between each child.  I "forgot" the pain by then.  The second and third time around, I knew what to expect and what to ask for.  And with the experience of raising the first child, and getting through their colds and sniffles, learning how to read their signals and calm them will make the second child much easier to deal with.

 

Moms, if you want to wait on having another baby, don't rely on just breastfeeding as your only means of birth control.  Your pregnancy and what comes with it will be a much more positive experience if it is planned.  Even condoms and contraceptive foam, or a diaphragm are better than going without any birth control at all.  I am glad my kids are spaced by a few years...it gave me the chance to enjoy each one individually.  I know moms whose babies are 10 to 12 months apart, and it is very stressful for them.

 

Siblings, in general, will be friends for life, no matter what life brings...I am one of 12 kids (my parents were nuts!!), and we are all best friends...we keep in contact by email and phone frequently even though we all life in different parts of the country.  My boys, in spite of the age difference, are best friends.  Granted, there is some sibling rivalry, but we manage.

 

Again, don't be scared off from having more kids...we love all three of our kids very dearly, and the pain and sleepless nights were well worth it. 

 

Purplepenny, since you don't plan on having any more kids, you are very wise to use "Fort Knox" birth control methods.

 
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