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Topic : 01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:26:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Young moms have a million questions about their little ones, from, “How do I stop the temper tantrums?” to “What do I do if my child just won’t eat?” Dr. Phil enlists the help of a family of experts in the field of pediatrics: Dr. William Sears and sons, Dr. James Sears, and Dr. Robert Sears. Collectively they’ve written 50 books that cover anything and everything a mom or dad could ever want to know. Together they field questions from young mothers. First, Angela says her 3-year-old daughter, Ellie, has been a screamer since the day she was born. Could Ellie’s temperament be the result of Angela’s feelings toward her at birth? Then, Robert and Wendy argue over what to do with their baby’s night crying. Robert claims Wendy runs to their 4 ½-month-old son, Ethan, at every whimper, sigh and cry. Wendy says Robert just doesn’t get it -- and why would he? She says he just sleeps right through it. Plus, Lisa says she’s terrified of germs and takes every precaution to keep her kids from getting sick. Her husband, Michael, says “Enough already!” Who’s right? Learn the answers to these and other parenting dilemmas and share your own concerns here.

For more information, visit http://www.askdrsears.com.

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January 26, 2007, 9:44 am CST

permanent birth control

Quote From: elffie

If you really, really, really, don't want to get pregnant again, you should get on some birth control.  I don't know if you know or not, but there is a pill that some women can take while breastfeeding and it won't dry your milk.  I took it and it worked great.  I can't remember the specific name of it, but your doctor should know. 

 

I have two kids and my husband and I agreed that we are done adding members to our family so he got a vesectomy.  It's way cheaper and safer than having your tubes tied.  I don't know if you have a partner or not, but it could be something to think about.  I guess my point is, if you don't want to have anymore kids, there are ways to not have anymore.

 

Have a great day. =)

My husband is diabetic, so vasectomy was not an option.  I had my tubes tied while I was still in the hospital with my third delivery.  I had it done under the epidural, rather than general anesthetic.  I have a heart arrhythmia, so general anesthetic carries extra risks for me.  The tubal ligation was done laparoscopically (spellng??), so the incisions were tiny, and healing was fast.  Either vasectomy or tubal ligation is a good way for permanent birth control...be sure that you are done having kids before having this procedure though...it is expensive to have reversed, and reversal doesn't always work, and reversal is not covered by insurance.

 

 

 
January 26, 2007, 10:48 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: mustbecrazy

Nothing I can say will change your mind, and you have a right to make your own decisions, and I respect that.

 

I just wanted to reassure first-time moms that every pregnancy is different, and every labor and delivery experience is different, even with the same person.  I waited 4 1/2 years between each child.  I "forgot" the pain by then.  The second and third time around, I knew what to expect and what to ask for.  And with the experience of raising the first child, and getting through their colds and sniffles, learning how to read their signals and calm them will make the second child much easier to deal with.

 

Moms, if you want to wait on having another baby, don't rely on just breastfeeding as your only means of birth control.  Your pregnancy and what comes with it will be a much more positive experience if it is planned.  Even condoms and contraceptive foam, or a diaphragm are better than going without any birth control at all.  I am glad my kids are spaced by a few years...it gave me the chance to enjoy each one individually.  I know moms whose babies are 10 to 12 months apart, and it is very stressful for them.

 

Siblings, in general, will be friends for life, no matter what life brings...I am one of 12 kids (my parents were nuts!!), and we are all best friends...we keep in contact by email and phone frequently even though we all life in different parts of the country.  My boys, in spite of the age difference, are best friends.  Granted, there is some sibling rivalry, but we manage.

 

Again, don't be scared off from having more kids...we love all three of our kids very dearly, and the pain and sleepless nights were well worth it. 

 

Purplepenny, since you don't plan on having any more kids, you are very wise to use "Fort Knox" birth control methods.

Mothers actually rely on breastfeeding as Birth Control?  Breast feeding is NOT birth control at all.
 
January 26, 2007, 10:52 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: elffie

Oh, yeah, I was looking forward to an epidural as well!  When I said natural birth, I was meaning vaginal, not actually "natural" like without medications.  I know for sure I wouldn't survive that! LOL  Sorry, I should've been more clear.

 

I was looking forward to a vaginal birth,  but ended up with a cesarian.  My Husband and I even took lamaze class and a birthing class where they scare you with pictures of babies coming out vaginaly. LOL

epidural is a good thing but too much of it is not. I had too much for my first daughter, tehy did lower it as it helped and thankfully there is sucha  thing as the eperdural as my daughter would have died with out it. Long story short, she was breecha nd when she turned, not only was the cord tied around her neck butit was also in  knot, this was not known til I was int he process of delivereing her and without the epidural, it would have been too hard to push the child out, her heart rate would go super low at times and the delivery was hard but we made it and she is a healthy happy soon to be 6 year old. My second child, no way was I going to refuse the epidural, for me, it was  life saver. Those lamaze classes were something else weren't they? LOL
 
January 26, 2007, 1:34 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: jettav

epidural is a good thing but too much of it is not. I had too much for my first daughter, tehy did lower it as it helped and thankfully there is sucha  thing as the eperdural as my daughter would have died with out it. Long story short, she was breecha nd when she turned, not only was the cord tied around her neck butit was also in  knot, this was not known til I was int he process of delivereing her and without the epidural, it would have been too hard to push the child out, her heart rate would go super low at times and the delivery was hard but we made it and she is a healthy happy soon to be 6 year old. My second child, no way was I going to refuse the epidural, for me, it was  life saver. Those lamaze classes were something else weren't they? LOL
Oh, yes, Lamaze...I guess it works if you CAN breathe...my contractions with my youngest were right on top of each other, and i had back labor which I discribe as like having a Klingon turning your backbone sideways and ripping it out...Julian"s heartrate was erratic and the epidural was a lifesaver...as I could actually relax enough to breathe and it sped delivery
 
January 26, 2007, 3:47 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: mustbecrazy

Nothing I can say will change your mind, and you have a right to make your own decisions, and I respect that.

 

I just wanted to reassure first-time moms that every pregnancy is different, and every labor and delivery experience is different, even with the same person.  I waited 4 1/2 years between each child.  I "forgot" the pain by then.  The second and third time around, I knew what to expect and what to ask for.  And with the experience of raising the first child, and getting through their colds and sniffles, learning how to read their signals and calm them will make the second child much easier to deal with.

 

Moms, if you want to wait on having another baby, don't rely on just breastfeeding as your only means of birth control.  Your pregnancy and what comes with it will be a much more positive experience if it is planned.  Even condoms and contraceptive foam, or a diaphragm are better than going without any birth control at all.  I am glad my kids are spaced by a few years...it gave me the chance to enjoy each one individually.  I know moms whose babies are 10 to 12 months apart, and it is very stressful for them.

 

Siblings, in general, will be friends for life, no matter what life brings...I am one of 12 kids (my parents were nuts!!), and we are all best friends...we keep in contact by email and phone frequently even though we all life in different parts of the country.  My boys, in spite of the age difference, are best friends.  Granted, there is some sibling rivalry, but we manage.

 

Again, don't be scared off from having more kids...we love all three of our kids very dearly, and the pain and sleepless nights were well worth it. 

 

Purplepenny, since you don't plan on having any more kids, you are very wise to use "Fort Knox" birth control methods.

Well, siblings can be positive and negative. I have two brothers and the three of us are great friends and we love to be together. My husband has two sisters, he loves them a lot, but they aren't close.

My mother hates every single one of her sisters. My father doesn't get along with any of his siblings but one.

I think my daughter will be fine being an only child. Not that she has a choice..LOL...but I don't believe or buy into some of the negative things I hear about only children. Even so far my daughter who is nearing 3 rarely has a tantrum (she's had 2 so far...one was yesterday! LOL) and she knows all about sharing and giving. And when she is around other kids she is very social.

I was told over and over that..."Oh by the time the kids is such and such age you won't be scared anymore!"...LOL..nope.  I still have severe pain now and my scar (which is about 2 inches wide and 5 inches long) is always sore still.
 
January 26, 2007, 4:15 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: purplepenny

Well, siblings can be positive and negative. I have two brothers and the three of us are great friends and we love to be together. My husband has two sisters, he loves them a lot, but they aren't close.

My mother hates every single one of her sisters. My father doesn't get along with any of his siblings but one.

I think my daughter will be fine being an only child. Not that she has a choice..LOL...but I don't believe or buy into some of the negative things I hear about only children. Even so far my daughter who is nearing 3 rarely has a tantrum (she's had 2 so far...one was yesterday! LOL) and she knows all about sharing and giving. And when she is around other kids she is very social.

I was told over and over that..."Oh by the time the kids is such and such age you won't be scared anymore!"...LOL..nope.  I still have severe pain now and my scar (which is about 2 inches wide and 5 inches long) is always sore still.
My husband is an only child and he was fine, of course it was just hima nd his dad from the age of 8 on but he didn't msis out on anything. I have a friendw ho was an only child and she was just fine as well.  I think it depends on how the parents are with their kids, if they never intereact withthema nd get them knowing other kids and all, well, of course they are going to be lonely or whatever, but being an only child is not harmful. I am not cliose to any of my siblings but we didn;t grow up together, family life was a mess, I might as well have been an only child, but hey, stuff happens and I actually became a strong person because of the way I grew up, stubborn as can be,LOL but happy and productive and life is good, I have many friends and a beautiful family, so no one has anything on me,LOL.
 
January 26, 2007, 9:45 pm CST

hey

Quote From: purplepenny

Well, siblings can be positive and negative. I have two brothers and the three of us are great friends and we love to be together. My husband has two sisters, he loves them a lot, but they aren't close.

My mother hates every single one of her sisters. My father doesn't get along with any of his siblings but one.

I think my daughter will be fine being an only child. Not that she has a choice..LOL...but I don't believe or buy into some of the negative things I hear about only children. Even so far my daughter who is nearing 3 rarely has a tantrum (she's had 2 so far...one was yesterday! LOL) and she knows all about sharing and giving. And when she is around other kids she is very social.

I was told over and over that..."Oh by the time the kids is such and such age you won't be scared anymore!"...LOL..nope.  I still have severe pain now and my scar (which is about 2 inches wide and 5 inches long) is always sore still.
u there?
 
January 27, 2007, 9:48 pm CST

Letting baby cry it out?

 

Hi, I am a mom of 5 children.  My oldest is a nine year old boy, then seven year old triplets and lastly but not least a 10 month old girl.  After I watched "ask the expert "show I felt like I miss parented my children, especially my triplet boys.  The doctors on the panel, Dr. Sears and family were very informative but their advice on never to let your baby cry would have made me feel helpless and totally out of control when my boys were babies.  In the case of my triplets, someone was always crying.  They weren't neglected. It was just they had to take turns in everything.  When it was naptime or bedtime I couldn't cuddle them til they fell asleep.  I had to put them in their crib, touch them, console them  and then leave so they learned how to fall asleep on their own.  They cried, but as long as I knew they were fed, changed and not sick I had to believe they were ok.  At first, before I did this routine they were all in bed with me including my oldest and my husband and I were falling out of bed. Then we tried rocking my babies til they fell asleep.  That took close to 2 hours every nap and bedtime.  It was insane and we had had enough.  I had to teach my oldest (then 2years old) to stay in his own bed and he cried.  It tore my heart out but I knew that in a week or so it will be much calmer at bedtime.  Teaching my children to be able to fall asleep on their own was one of the most difficult things my husband and I had to do but today when it is bedtime, in a 15 mins. they are all asleep.  Dr. Sears and his sons had one point of view with this issue, but I am sure that there are reputable excellent doctors that don't have this viewpoint.  I would be interested to see a follow up show on parenting with a different viewpoint.  I'm always eager to learn more.  Thank-you

 
January 27, 2007, 10:23 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: jsg262003

u there?
I'm around.
 
January 28, 2007, 12:25 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: tripmom2

 

Hi, I am a mom of 5 children.  My oldest is a nine year old boy, then seven year old triplets and lastly but not least a 10 month old girl.  After I watched "ask the expert "show I felt like I miss parented my children, especially my triplet boys.  The doctors on the panel, Dr. Sears and family were very informative but their advice on never to let your baby cry would have made me feel helpless and totally out of control when my boys were babies.  In the case of my triplets, someone was always crying.  They weren't neglected. It was just they had to take turns in everything.  When it was naptime or bedtime I couldn't cuddle them til they fell asleep.  I had to put them in their crib, touch them, console them  and then leave so they learned how to fall asleep on their own.  They cried, but as long as I knew they were fed, changed and not sick I had to believe they were ok.  At first, before I did this routine they were all in bed with me including my oldest and my husband and I were falling out of bed. Then we tried rocking my babies til they fell asleep.  That took close to 2 hours every nap and bedtime.  It was insane and we had had enough.  I had to teach my oldest (then 2years old) to stay in his own bed and he cried.  It tore my heart out but I knew that in a week or so it will be much calmer at bedtime.  Teaching my children to be able to fall asleep on their own was one of the most difficult things my husband and I had to do but today when it is bedtime, in a 15 mins. they are all asleep.  Dr. Sears and his sons had one point of view with this issue, but I am sure that there are reputable excellent doctors that don't have this viewpoint.  I would be interested to see a follow up show on parenting with a different viewpoint.  I'm always eager to learn more.  Thank-you

Just so you know I have a pediatrician with a very good reputation, he's the head Dr and the largest NICU in our state and he is FOR the CIO method in most cases. You are right, this is one point of view. And my Dr's is another. Plain and simple. Don't worry. Things work differently for different parents.
 
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