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Topic : 01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Number of Replies: 902
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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:26:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Young moms have a million questions about their little ones, from, “How do I stop the temper tantrums?” to “What do I do if my child just won’t eat?” Dr. Phil enlists the help of a family of experts in the field of pediatrics: Dr. William Sears and sons, Dr. James Sears, and Dr. Robert Sears. Collectively they’ve written 50 books that cover anything and everything a mom or dad could ever want to know. Together they field questions from young mothers. First, Angela says her 3-year-old daughter, Ellie, has been a screamer since the day she was born. Could Ellie’s temperament be the result of Angela’s feelings toward her at birth? Then, Robert and Wendy argue over what to do with their baby’s night crying. Robert claims Wendy runs to their 4 ½-month-old son, Ethan, at every whimper, sigh and cry. Wendy says Robert just doesn’t get it -- and why would he? She says he just sleeps right through it. Plus, Lisa says she’s terrified of germs and takes every precaution to keep her kids from getting sick. Her husband, Michael, says “Enough already!” Who’s right? Learn the answers to these and other parenting dilemmas and share your own concerns here.

For more information, visit http://www.askdrsears.com.

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January 19, 2007, 12:32 pm CST

Being a new parent is way cool!

1, Babies and toddlers don't break as easily as ALL new moms think. However, if the floor is too dirty for YOU to be crawling on it, than YES it's too dirty for your child.

 

2. Infants who scream SHOULD be picked up and comforted (I made a mistake with mine...thought she was just showing a temper when it turned out to be stomach pain from a milk allergy). Infants is the operative word here.

 

3. Bigger kids SHOULD be put to bed early (they need their rest) and NO, you shouldn't run in every time they cry or want you. The more you do, the smarter they become (and them more they cry). Kids sometimes train us parents....but only if we allow them to:)

 

God bless new mothers (and fathers). It's a learning experience and it's often not easy. However, if you do your DUTY correctly, the rewards are endless! Our two are now 12 (girl) and 6 (boy) and they are WONDERFUL, BRIGHT, COMPASSIONATE, WELL-BEHAVED kids. We made plenty of mistakes with them, but we worked hard to avoid the big ones! Good luck to all new parents.

 

On another (very important) note....Please let's stop seeing them as a conveniene or an inconvenience and aborting them! Any little human w/ a heartbeat (3 wks) and brain waves (6 wks) deserves to live as much as we adults do!

 

4.

 
January 19, 2007, 12:35 pm CST

yay for Dr. Sears!

I was so excited to see Dr. Sears (all of them!) on the show today.  They've helped me out a few times through their books and website. I love how they promote natural parenting also. You don't have to have all the latest technology to raise kids...it's OK to co-sleep, breastfeed, cloth diaper, and make your own baby food. 

Laura- 25 y/o sahm to 3 little girls (5, 2 1/2, and 5 1/2 mos)

 
January 19, 2007, 12:36 pm CST

Similar problem...years ago

Quote From: swtpeammy

My son is 2 months old and he won't sleep on anything but his tummy. He turns his head to the side and all but I worry about SIDS. Is there anything I can do to get him to sleep on his bak or side? Sometimes I lay him on his side and he just rolls himself over onto his tummy. What do I do?

 

 

Just always lie him on his back or side. If he rolls over, there's not much you can do until he's asleep. When you go in and check on him (new moms do that often!), put him back over on his side/back.

 

There's not much else you can do other than to buy one of the SIDE SLEEPERS. It worked quite well with one of our children (not too well with the other one). Be diligent and say a prayer...I bet you and your son will be just fine:)

 
January 19, 2007, 12:42 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: joymathea

I once was a very young 19 year old mother and my daughter would lay in the floor and kick and scream and nothing I did stopped her so I layed down besider her and started kicking and screaming just like she did she was so shocked she got up looked at me and never did her kicking and screaming ever again. Might not hve been the correct thing to do but hey it worked.

Joy Mathea

That does work...i've done it also! 

I was 20 and single when i had my first (and i looked younger) so i got lots of dirty looks anyways...especially when my girlie would throw herself down to have a tantrum. She did it out in public one day so i just layed down beside her and watched. She screamed a couple more times then realized that I wasn't freaking about it and she stopped.

The easiest way to stop tantrums is to sit and wait it out. Don't fuel the fire.

 
January 19, 2007, 12:43 pm CST

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

So now we have a mother who is afraid her baby will get sick in an airplane.

 

She's only worried about her baby? Let's turn it around:

 

What about the passengers when the baby decides to have a screaming fit.

 

If she's worried about germs and we're going to listen to a contestant for the "I can scream louder and longer than anyone else has been around", I can promise I'm going to start  blowing my nose and coughing.

 

I find this and sitting in restaurants where one of the adults won't move to the buffer area between the two sets of entrance door.  "I paid for my food and I have a right to eat it when & where I want."  We tip 30%-35% as a rule. But if there's a screamer: (to the waitstaff):  "Silence or remove the kid or your tip is gone." That's when there's a visit from the manager. ("We can't ask them to cooperate"  "Because it's a family restaurant and you're afraid they won't come back.  Right. Parents who tip 12%.  I've seen parents change their diaper right in the middle of the aisle. They were escorted out when it was obvious it wasn't sanitary, the parents didn't make a trip to wash their hands, and, it would have only taken one call to the BOD (Board of Health)

 

The other place where it's bad is in theatres.  M&D can't or won't get a sitter and bring them in, just as they do for 2-3-4 year olds.  Boredom occurs after three or four minutes and we all get to hear them yak-yak-yak.  "Hey! We paid to come here and we're getting our money's worth.

 

Thank goodness there are places which serve food & drinks to your table and it's 21+

 
January 19, 2007, 12:43 pm CST

I pinched my child!

Quote From: joymathea

I once was a very young 19 year old mother and my daughter would lay in the floor and kick and scream and nothing I did stopped her so I layed down besider her and started kicking and screaming just like she did she was so shocked she got up looked at me and never did her kicking and screaming ever again. Might not hve been the correct thing to do but hey it worked.

Joy Mathea

Sometimes what is not politically correct is the right course of action.

 

I can relate to you. Our daughter (age 3...that was 9 years ago) kept pinching and just wouldn't stop. Nothing we tried would work.

 

One day, in the grocery store, I warned her (gently) that if she pinched me again I would pinch her back. She proceeded to pinch me. I VERY GENTLY pinched her on her arm (not enough to hurt) and she screamed out, "Mommy PUNCHED me!" She kept yelling out that I had punched her! And with every turn of the aisle, I kept waiting to be arrested by child protective services! Boy, I never did that again! But she NEVER EVER pinched anyone again, so apparently it worked.

 

The child turned out beautifully...an honors student, an altar server, a signed model and a team athlete in both tennis and soccer! I'm quite sure your child turned out great, too!

 
January 19, 2007, 12:44 pm CST

Good advice but I need some..

 Ok I am watching the show right now and I think they have some good advice but at the same time all you moms out there need to learn what works for YOU. I've tried doctors advice but what I found the best is that magazines and sometimes other friends goes a long way. you just have to listen and pull what you can use out of the advice they give you.

  Ok now my question: I'm trying to wean my 5 1/2 month old and she just is not interested but she likes to go for my food. does anyone out there have any tricks that they might have used??? Anything would be helpful. thanks faith

 
January 19, 2007, 12:45 pm CST

How do I get my 10 month old to sleep through the night?

My son is 10 months old and he gets up about 3 to 4 times per night. When he wakes up he screams and calls mama or dada. It breaks my heart to hear that. My husband  thinks I should let him "cry it out". Can you please give me some advice.
 
January 19, 2007, 12:46 pm CST

"Difficult Babies/Children"

My daughter was the 2nd child.  She was the one that tested us and still does.  Our first child is our son, I had a problem pregnancy, difficult birth, he had to return to the hospital for severe jaundice.  Nursing was a nightmare.  None of the books I read nor any of the "experts" I consulted could tell me why I was **so** sore and he wasn't getting what he needed.  I finally gave up nursing.  Almost 2 years later, a chance conversation gave me the answer that the experts, those ones in books and in offices, including LLL, couldn't.... My son had been tongue-tied.  That had been an extremely stressful time for us.

 

Our son was the "easy" child and still is in his teen years.  All that stress did not faze him.

 

Our daughter came along without the infertility drugs that we said were be needed again.  Our son was conceived in the 2nd round of perganol (sp). 

 

When she was born, they did not want to keep her in the nursery because she screamed so much.  The hospital had gone to a "no pacifer" policy.  After a few hours of trying it their way, I knew what she needed and my husband ran out to find one.  She was *immediately* happy.  But as the years have gone by, I am told by family and friends that I have two very different children ... they are right. 

 

Our daughter refused to go to anyone other than myself or my husband for the first 6 months.  Our son was happy to be with family & friends.  She wouldn't go to bed, she wouldn't stay asleep.  No colic.  We never had her sleep in our bed.  She is an active sleeper and talks, & yells, in her sleep but can sleep thru a helicopter landing in a field in front of our house at 2 a.m.  And she is passionate!  about everything and smart and has a quick wit.

 

She is a teen now.  She is still "difficult" and passionate and stubborn and giving.  She was born this way.  The personality was there from the start and though she is shy outside our home, never has she been shy with us, oh, the opposite.

 
January 19, 2007, 12:49 pm CST

Baby Hair Pulling

To the mom with the baby who is pulling her hair...Please give consideration to the possibility that your daughter is suffering from an allergy to her new diet.  You noted that her hair pulling began when you stopped breast feeding her.  I have met many people who have difficulty with their hair (and skin) on their bodies being irritated (itch, pain, etc.) in response to a food or foods.  For me, my eyelashes and eyebrows itch enormously when I either eat certain foods or am exposed to certain substances topically.

 

To the experts who are giving advice on the 1-19-07 show, please read the statement above and explore the idea.   Thanks.

 
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