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Topic : 01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:26:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Young moms have a million questions about their little ones, from, “How do I stop the temper tantrums?” to “What do I do if my child just won’t eat?” Dr. Phil enlists the help of a family of experts in the field of pediatrics: Dr. William Sears and sons, Dr. James Sears, and Dr. Robert Sears. Collectively they’ve written 50 books that cover anything and everything a mom or dad could ever want to know. Together they field questions from young mothers. First, Angela says her 3-year-old daughter, Ellie, has been a screamer since the day she was born. Could Ellie’s temperament be the result of Angela’s feelings toward her at birth? Then, Robert and Wendy argue over what to do with their baby’s night crying. Robert claims Wendy runs to their 4 ½-month-old son, Ethan, at every whimper, sigh and cry. Wendy says Robert just doesn’t get it -- and why would he? She says he just sleeps right through it. Plus, Lisa says she’s terrified of germs and takes every precaution to keep her kids from getting sick. Her husband, Michael, says “Enough already!” Who’s right? Learn the answers to these and other parenting dilemmas and share your own concerns here.

For more information, visit http://www.askdrsears.com.

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As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

February 1, 2007, 9:52 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: lbmovingup

I usually just like to read the post to the message boards, but I just had to make a reply to this one. To me your response is truly amazing. Actually, it is quite funny to me. It makes me wonder if you are a guy pretending to be a woman, so you can support the distruptive things men do in their marriages. I am so tired of people trying to make women bend and twist to become someone they are not, or simply belittle themselves to please a man. I am glad you stuck it out through the troubles of your marriage, and that you are now a happy and healthy couple. I want to hit on a few key points - firsly you mentioned you quit trying to change your husband and changed yourself instead - good for you, but what is wrong with a man changing their bitter , nasty, selfish ways? and how exactly did you change? If you are not the one being rude, inconsiderate, manipulative etc etc then why should you change? I don't think pride has anything to do with being someone's doormat. Matter-of-fact, I think it is just the opposite, I think women should get some pride and a back bone and quit putting up with this mess we pass off as being OK for men. Another point I want to mention - you stated we are not being the noblest of wives in the world. I would say no one is perfect, however, what exactly do you mean? Are you speaking for yourself because you felt guilty about your actions in your marriage? If so, please make that clear, because it is not fair for you to sum it up for all of us. I too want to enjoy my relationship with God in all aspects of my life, and I also want to enjoy my relationship with my husband. As Dr. Phil always say, we teach people how to treat us.

 

Now, I don't want to give you the impression that I have not been through anything, so let me give you a quick run-down of my experiences and why I so stronly disagree with your advice. I am 35 year old mother of 3, and I have been married for 10 years. My husband is one of those people who turns a good side to the outside world but show a coompletely different side at home. We are both christians and have been for a long time. My husband has been a mean, selfish, cheating person for the entire time. I remember years ago I would go along with whatever he did because I thought that was my place as a christian woman. My husband did the same thing as the husband mentioned in the inital post. He would pick at everything I did and I would adjust, even though there was no adjustment to be made. He would get mad about the slightest thing and not speak to me for weeks on end. In the mist of all this he has had numerous affairs, too many to count. For our entire marriage I have spent too many nights crying and too many special days not being spoken too.

 

Well my dear, I have had enough. I recently found out about another affair this past summer and I am DONE. I have been a stay at home mom for the past 9 years, and I am heading back to work, taking my 3 kids and leaving his behind. Now that I have decided to do this he wants to change. I guess he figured I would always put up with it...that was until I put my foot down. This tells me he has always had the ability to do better but choose not to simply because it was working for him. WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US. It seems to me as though the thought of paying child support and alimony would cause a person to come to their senses.

 

Oh yes...before I forget, I too have a couple bible verses for you.

 

Ephisians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

 

Ephisian 5:28 - In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself

 

Colossians 3:19 - Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them

 

 

 

 

I am sorry for what you are going through. I can't imagine what it would be like to be cheated on all the time. I don't understand exactly why you took my advice personal to your situation. This girl didn't mention being cheated on or physically abused or anything like that. She wanted her marriage to be better. I gave her advice that I myself have put into practice in my own home. I have seen the fruit of that and my marriage is now very fulfilling.

 

But in regards to focusing on changing yourself. Even Dr. Phil says it only takes one person to change a relationship. In his book he talks about changing yourself. The reality is that whether it be the husband or the wife, if one will make the commitment to changing themself, in time the other spouse will often start to soften and change as well. Unfortunately most of us are so fixated on what the other person is doing wrong that we are totally blind to our own faults. We will admit that we aren't perfect. But our husband's sin stinks a whole lot worse than our own. Or in the case of a husband all he can see is his wife's faults. Sin is sin. It all stinks. And all of us do it. I have just simply laid aside my self -righteous pride.

 

I would ask a question though. How have your efforts to change your husband worked for you? It is so hard to change even ourselves; impossible without Jesus' help. Attempting to change someone else only causes them to become embittered and resentful towards whoever is trying to change them. The Bible says several times in Proverbs that a nagging wife is a constant dripping. (I would say the same of a nagging husband) Also that it is better to live on the corner of a roof than with a contentious and vexing woman. I simply took a look at myself and realized that I often nagged my husband to change this and that. When he didn't seem interested in making the good changes I believed were necessary, and many of those things really are good and necessary, I became bitter and resentful. I became this "vexing and contentious" woman. This in turn heated up the hostility in our marriage making him more stubborn and me more nagging and angry. Then he would get angry. Do you see the vicious cycle? We either fought or ignored each other. And let's not even mention the horrible sex. It just doesn't work. Trying to change people is a lost cause. I would recommend the advice given in 1 Peter Chapter 3. The only hope we have is that they may be won over by our chaste and respectful behaviour. The Bible says we are not to be overcome by evil but that we are to overcome evil with good.

 

I'm not sure what gave you the impression that I am a doormat. My husband would be the first to say  that I am not. I never said cater to your husband's selfish whims. And I would certainly never suggest that a woman or man for that matter should stay married to someone who refused to be faithful. Even Jesus said a spouse is free to go in that situation. It sounds to me like you should've left a long time ago.

 

I think many in the church have falsely depicted that women are to suffer silently and to passively go with the flow in whatever their husbands want. Man or woman, we are to be like Christ and he was no pushover. But that doesn't mean giving way to bitterness and resentment. I have been down that road. It leads only to more trouble. You say you are a Christian. The Bible gives all kinds of advice on how to handle just about any kind of situation. Those are the changes I am talking about making. I chose to obey God no matter what my husband was doing. Sometimes that actually created some problems because my husband didn't want to obey God in some situations. He learned real quick that if he put me in a position where I had to chose between obeying him or obeying God, my husband was going to lose. But I tried to be very careful not be self-righteous about it. I gently pointed out what the scriptures said and told him I couldn't go along with his suggestion. Those times weren't easy. On one occasion I thought he would leave me. And though I loved him I would've let him go. That's why I said things got worse before they got better. Our goal can't be to try and make our husband into the perfect man. Our goal should be to make ourselves a godly wife. Godly doesn't mean a wimpy pushover.

 

As far as our kids being affected by what their parents do, no one knows that better than me. My mother was married multiple times before I reached the age of 18 and my father didn't have much to do with us. I was a very angry person. I used to live in constant fear that every little mistake me or my husband made would ruin our kids for life. That only increased the tension in the family. To put in short I tried to control everything and hold it together so that all would be well and my kids would turn out ok. I wanted to spare them some of what I went through growing up. All of my efforts were a joke. If my husband blew it with the kids I was all over him for it. This made him an even more apathetic and disintersted father. When He disciplined them he would sometimes go overboard. Then I would flip out on him and throw more gas on the fire. The Bible says that a gentle answer turns away wrath. I found this to be far more effective at calming my husband down than yelling at him and pointing out all of his failures as a husband and father. My husband still isn't a perfect man. But I can honestly say that he is a wonderful husband and father. I didn't get that by demanding him to get his act together or else. Believe me, I tried. I got that by treating him with dignity and respect even when he blew it. It doesn't mean that I condone bad behavior on his part or the kids. My husband also lets me know when I am not doing what is right too. But we respect each other and give each other room to make mistakes. That creates a lot of trust in the marriage. It also makes mistakes happen a lot less and with less severity because we both know that we are commited to each other and are no longer enemies. The best thing a mother and father can do for their kids is treat the other parent with dignity and respect and to go into damage control when somebody blows it. That's what grace is all about.

 

I understand that you are very hurt and angry at what your husband has done and rightly so. But I  hope and pray that you will forgive him for your own spiritual and emotional health. It's not easy but with God's help you can and will. That doesn't mean staying married to him. It just means letting the anger go so that it doesn't eat you alive. I hope this clarifies some things for you.

 

God Bless You.

 
February 1, 2007, 11:09 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: fiore3

I think you have unrealistic advice. You basically say that the woman is entirely responisble for trying to pull her family together, and she should just hope for the best. Hope that her husband is loving and caring, hope that he isn't rude, hope that he improves his own character. Look at the proverb you provided, it basically says a house will get torn down from a foolish woman. What about a foolish man? So his sulking and cold behavior plays no role? He needs to stop nagging and step up to the plate and help her in the house, like with their whining child. And you are extremely wrong to think she is over-reacting to the influence this will have on her son. This is exactly why parents have no idea why their children have emotional problems, because they didn't realize that their own bad behaviors could affect their child's upbringing. This guy is insulting his wife in front of his family, even Dr. Phil would tell you that this will have a very serious effect on the child. As he would say, you are writing on the slate of the kind of person your child will become.

I think I did a poor job of adequately communcating where I am coming from. I know my advice isn't unrealistic because I'm living it and I have seen the fruit.

 

I wasn't suggesting that the whole responsibility is on the woman. But it is futile for a wife to try and change her husband or anyone else for that matter. A husband can't change his wife either. We can with God's help change ourselves though. We can have respect for ourselves even if our husband's aren't being respectful. But I was never able to pull that off apart from my relationship with God. Without God I just wanted to give up and throw in the towel. God gave me the strength and fortitude I needed to get me through the tough times without losing my sanity. As I strived to be a more godly wife things started to change in my home. My husband started changing and so did my kids. Not because I was trying to change them. Every time I started to do that it would all fall apart again. I learned to be patient and trust God. It wasn't always easy and there were some times I thought my husband would leave because he knew I had a greater commitment to Jesus Christ than him. But eventually as he saw God changing me he decided he wanted God in his life too. That's what I'm talking about.

 

As far as over-reacting to negative parental influence on children I will give you a real life example of what I am talking about from my own family. My husband used to spoil our youngest daughter rotten. She was horrible. Whatever she wanted she got. She was elevated over everyone else in the house. I couldn't stand it and neither could our other kids. She threw temper tantrums and everything and daddy would coddle her trying to calm her down. He had created a monster. I was very fearful for how she was going to turn out as an adult. We fought about it all the time. I tried everything to try and get him to see what he was doing. Sometimes we had some doozies and my husband would say very hurtful things to me. A huge wedge was being formed between my daughter and I and in my marriage. When it became clear to me that nagging my husband and arguing with him wouldn't work I decided to leave it in God's hand's. Whenever one of her little episodes would start. I did everything I could to resist the urge to interfere. I chose to respect my husband's authority even though I knew he was wrong. I let him do his coddling and I prayed that God would help me to be quiet and just trust HIM(GOD) with the situation. We had been dealing with this trouble for several years. But after only a few weeks of being quiet about it and praying fervently, we had an episode in a local store. We were in a hurry and my daughter decided she wanted to look at something on the other side of the store. We didn't have time so my husband told her no. Our daughter went bullistic right there in front of everyone. She screamed and hollered and jumped up and down. She was so dramatic I think she threw herself on the floor. She was much too old for this. I immediately walked off and left my husband to deal with it. I acted like nothing was wrong, but I was praying under my breath. I have to admit, she was having such a rediculous tantrum that I found it somewhat amusing and was trying not to laugh. But my husband was embarrased and furious. All I can say is God opened his eyes that day. My husband at that point humbly acknowledged that he needed to make changes and he did. He no longer coddles her and she no longer is a monster. Praise the Lord!

 

But all my nagging and insistence on change did nothing but create hostility and tension in the home far worse than we were already experiencing. It made matters worse and caused a lot of stress for me. But I gave the situation over to the Lord, asked for His help, obeyed him to the best of what I knew the scriptures to teach, and God was faithful.

 

Perhaps my advice seems unrealistic to you but the proof is in the pudding. I only know that once my marriage was more like a warzone at one time. We were both hostile angry people. It was nothing to cuss each other up one side and down the other. There were even a few occasions of physical abuse on both sides. We had a two year long breakup. We've been back together now for over 9 years. The last several years, after I commited myself to living for Jesus, it hasn't always been easy but my marriage is nothing like it used to be. We're not perfect, we both still have a lot of growing to do, but when I look at what God has done with our mess, I don't even know what to say. He has definately blessed us far beyond anything I could have ever thought to ask for.

 

That Proverb was life changing for me. You seem to look at it and see a burden placed on the woman. When I found that Proveb in the Bible I didn't see a burden. I saw the tremendous power God has given to a woman. I wanted to use my power to build my family. You see, before I found that Proverb I felt helpless. My husband was this huge obstacle in the way of everything I thought was good for the family. I was missing the whole point.

 

 
February 3, 2007, 6:45 am CST

Want to clarify some things.

Quote From: teigan

I have been married for almost 6 years but my husband and I are having a problem. I did one of dr. phil's relastionship tests and my result was "EMOTIONAL DIVORCE" which I would say is right. I have tried so many things, I've taken advice from friends and family and have tried doing the stuff in dr phil's books but nothing seems to be working and I really need to talk to someone.

As I said my husband and I have been married for almost 6 years but we've been together for 12. The problem I think we are having is if something I have done bothers him he will not say anything or try and discuss it but instead he will sulk. He will not speak to me at all (this can go on from 2 weeks to much longer, at the moment the record is 12 weeks) If I ask him what's wrong he becomes more cold towards me. He becomes rude, abrupt has no repesct for me , puts me down when people are around especially his family and all of this happens in front of our 5 year old son. everytime this happens when he does finally decide he wants to talk he tells me what's his problem the last time it was I need to be more organised, coz he hated coming from work to hear our son nag or cry he was hungry because the food wasn't ready. Ever since that discussion he has never come home (not even once) to find that happen coz I have changed for him and our family and make sure the food is cooked before i pick our son up from school. And everytime we have a discussion whatever problem he has with me hardly ever comes up because I do my best to change my bad habits to make him and my son happy, but every single time I ask him to come straight to me if he has a problem because I can not handle the silent treatment from him and I  don't  think my son deserves to live in those conditions as I am afraid he will become that way when he grows up and I am afraid he will disrespect me and women in general because I know my son love me but I also know he tries to plaese his father because he doesn't get the attention he should from him. How can I get through to my husband I see the same thing with his parents and just can't stand to think that, that is our life toghether. I just need someone to talk to or if you've been the same situation and can offer some help then please reply my message.

Obviously the two ladies who didn't like my advice missed what I was saying. In the event that I did a poor job explaining myself I wanted to clarify a little better. I certainly don't want you to think that you should be a doormat. That WOULD be terrible advice.

 

What I gather from what you wrote is that you have a lot of insecurity. Your emotional well being is too tied up in how your husband and son treat you. The reality is that even good husbands sometimes mistreat their wives. All children will test the boundaries of respect with their parents. If your goal is to make your husband, son and anyone else respect you and treat you well, you are in for a lot of disillusionment. In fact the more we try to get others to treat us well the less they respect us. We tend to become clingy, needy, and demanding. They sense that and dispise it.

 

Your primary goal in life shouldn't be trying to please your husband or son. That obviously isn't working anyway. That doesn't mean you should become selfish and live to please yourself either. Our primary purpose in life is to please God. When you see how valuable you are to HIM, you will have a good healthy dose of self-respect without being arrogant. You will not be as rattled when you are mistreated by others. Instead of saying to yourself, "I can't handle it when my husband refuses to speak to me," or "I won't be able to handle it if my son disrespects me," you can say "I don't like it when my husband refuses to speak to me" and "I don't like it when my son disrespects me," but I know Jesus loves me. You will then be able to go on with your life with some peace in spite of your husband or anyone else's mistreatment of you. This may also even help to bring your husband out of his pouting though this isn't your primary goal. When he sees that you are no longer dependant on his good behaviour to be happy, he is likely to start treating you with a little more respect. In any case you will be better emotionally equipped to handle the situation.

 

Right now you guys are locked into a power struggle. Don't let him have power over you anymore.

 
February 3, 2007, 10:14 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: leah1991

Obviously the two ladies who didn't like my advice missed what I was saying. In the event that I did a poor job explaining myself I wanted to clarify a little better. I certainly don't want you to think that you should be a doormat. That WOULD be terrible advice.

 

What I gather from what you wrote is that you have a lot of insecurity. Your emotional well being is too tied up in how your husband and son treat you. The reality is that even good husbands sometimes mistreat their wives. All children will test the boundaries of respect with their parents. If your goal is to make your husband, son and anyone else respect you and treat you well, you are in for a lot of disillusionment. In fact the more we try to get others to treat us well the less they respect us. We tend to become clingy, needy, and demanding. They sense that and dispise it.

 

Your primary goal in life shouldn't be trying to please your husband or son. That obviously isn't working anyway. That doesn't mean you should become selfish and live to please yourself either. Our primary purpose in life is to please God. When you see how valuable you are to HIM, you will have a good healthy dose of self-respect without being arrogant. You will not be as rattled when you are mistreated by others. Instead of saying to yourself, "I can't handle it when my husband refuses to speak to me," or "I won't be able to handle it if my son disrespects me," you can say "I don't like it when my husband refuses to speak to me" and "I don't like it when my son disrespects me," but I know Jesus loves me. You will then be able to go on with your life with some peace in spite of your husband or anyone else's mistreatment of you. This may also even help to bring your husband out of his pouting though this isn't your primary goal. When he sees that you are no longer dependant on his good behaviour to be happy, he is likely to start treating you with a little more respect. In any case you will be better emotionally equipped to handle the situation.

 

Right now you guys are locked into a power struggle. Don't let him have power over you anymore.

"The reality is that even good husbands sometimes mistreat their wives."

No. No they don't. Sure people make mistakes but "mistreat"? NO.

"Our primary purpose in life is to please God."

That is YOUR primary purpose. Seems that you are saying that "god" some excuse for men to mistreat their wives...that women should be simply happy that "god" is there for them even if their husbands are not. I find that truly dangerous.




 
February 5, 2007, 8:32 am CST

Which board is this??

I thought we were here to discuss issues and questions that young moms have about their babies and toddlers, and perhaps young school-aged kids....you know, temper tantrums, feeding the baby, getting the baby to sleep, dealing with other people's well-meaning advice...just when did this become the marriage and relationships board??...I think that is today's show, not the 'young mom's" show.  I think the marriage discussions have perhaps chased away young moms with questions pertaining to the real subject here. 
 
February 5, 2007, 8:37 am CST

only children

Quote From: texas249

I was just reading over the message boards that I missed earlier in January.

 

Regarding having an only child - my daughter is an only child and I wanted to let you know that an only child can turn out just fine.

 

People never realize - when she was younger or now that she is in her mid thirties - that she is an only child.  She is warm, caring, smart, personalable and an absolutely terrific person, as noted not just by me but also by her husband, friends, relatives, co workers, just about everyone she comes in contact with.  Being an only child was never a problem.  Sometimes when we went on a car vacation, we would take one of her friends with us.  Flying vacations we took just her.  She's always been hugely popular with her peers and when younger, with her teachers, too.

 

I think it has to do with how you raise them, what you expect, what you require, etc.  I know others with an only child who have turned out fine and as grown-ups don't feel they missed anything by not having a sibling.  I know others who have more than more child and sometimes they have one that is so like the stereotype of an only child that you are shocked to find out they're not!!

 

My daughter has a 3 year old daughter of her own who will  be an only child due to pregnancy problems on the the part of the mom that will reoccur.  She has been advised not to have more.  She and her husband are fine with that.  When people tell them they absolutely need more - her husband points to our daugher and asks why they need more than one when one can turn out so great!

 

Your daughter will be fine as an only child.

I never meant to say that all children must have siblings.  I see that you parents here with one child are socializing your kids quite well.  There are a lot of advantages to having only one child.  The money thing comes to mind...the more kids you have, the more it costs.

 

We have three boys, and I am very happy with that, but I would never presume that all families should have more than one child.  That is a decision that the parents must make.

 

I had three high-risk pregnancies, with preterm labor and 6 months of bedrest to prevent premature birth. I did not have c-sections, but I have since had a hysterectomy, and I do know about painful scars. 

 

Parents, do what you feel is best for your own family...but don't let the pain of childbirth be the only deciding factor in your decision.

 
February 5, 2007, 10:52 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: mustbecrazy

I never meant to say that all children must have siblings.  I see that you parents here with one child are socializing your kids quite well.  There are a lot of advantages to having only one child.  The money thing comes to mind...the more kids you have, the more it costs.

 

We have three boys, and I am very happy with that, but I would never presume that all families should have more than one child.  That is a decision that the parents must make.

 

I had three high-risk pregnancies, with preterm labor and 6 months of bedrest to prevent premature birth. I did not have c-sections, but I have since had a hysterectomy, and I do know about painful scars. 

 

Parents, do what you feel is best for your own family...but don't let the pain of childbirth be the only deciding factor in your decision.

Ok...I have no idea if that was directed at me (purplepenny) or not, the pain of childbirth thing, but who are you to say that that shouldn't be the only deciding factor? Why do you care what people deciding factors are or who are you to say what they should be.

I PERSONALLY think that it would be IRRESPONSIBLE to me and my family for me to endeavor into another likely high risk pregnancy. I feel that would be selfish. It would be an emotional and financial strain on my current child and my husband and myself.

If a women reading here is letting the pain of childbirth prevent her from having more kids...MORE POWER TO HER.
 
February 15, 2007, 1:18 pm CST

The organic mom....

One of my extreme pet peeves is the mom that is ULTRA controlling.  You know the type, the judgmental, "i follow the latest trends" -hypochondriac -OCD mommy dearest.  The kind of mom you cringe to see coming because you KNOW youre going to get an attitude from her.  She's often worse than the child itself-sometimes the apple doesn't fall far.  A doctor I worked for HATED these moms and refused to see children under a certain age (without a referral) because of them.

 

Most of them (and i know this is a generalization) don't listen to medical professionals and would rather follow what some kook wrote who probably didn't pass the Boards much less the MCAT.  So why even GO to the doctor or anyone if youre NOT going to follow their advice?  Is it to convince yourself that youre smarter than a doctor, does it please your ego?  UGH!  No wonder the younger generation has entitlement issues-look at who raised them!  Thanks for letting me vent.

 
May 15, 2007, 3:23 pm CDT

"That's Right"

Quote From: gwarrior6

Use common sense!  Always question what your told.  Don't believe everything you read.  If you read an article that claims that there is evidence that the sky is pink, you see that it's blue,  you would know the research is wrong.  My point is, do what is best for your baby, and the snobs who think they know everything about your specific situation can go jump in a lake!
 I aggree with you 100%. I am a 25 year old single mom of my now 4 year old son and expecting my second child in a few months. I've learned to develop my own style of being a parent, i always notice the outcome is much better. I dont pay much attention to others who have their own style in parenting that worked for them. Every child is different. I am a single parent now, so the stress is higher but i can handle anything that GOD puts in my face. Questions and/or concerns i have ever had i turned to the elder in the family who have been there and done it all. Wisdom speaks in so many ways, if you pay attention you wont need no doctor's advice.
 
May 16, 2007, 12:22 pm CDT

Red Onions Help

Quote From: jettin

I am a twenty year old mom of a beautiful 4 month old. It seems that she has always had problems since she was born. Here bowels are all messed up. She screams in pain for at least 5 minutes just to have a bowel movement. Her doctor keeps telling us that it is a form of colic. I think otherwise. She refuses to sleep in her own bed, or in the room by herself. She has to sleep with me with my hand on her chest the whole night or she gets all fussy wakes up and cries until I move her. She cant sleep in a room without noise. There has to be the humidifier going and the stereo before she even thinks about going to bed for even a nap. And one last thing...I have started her on rice cereal as of two and a half weeks ago. She seemed to do really good on it but now she can only have a certain amount because it hurts her tummy and goes into the problem with her bowels. What can I do?

Well i'll tell you what worked for me when my son who is now 4 yrs. old had colic for a brief time. I used "Red Onions". What you do is boil the onion for about 15 minutes then pour in bottle with a tsp. of sugar, you might want to add a cube of ice to cool faster and serve to baby. It took a couple times to do with my son but "GUESS WHAT" it took that pain away. Try it and see. Red onions is all natural. I'm a young mom too and expecting my second child, so i too had to seek out and find the info. as well. Hope all works well for you. :)

 
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