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Topic : 01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:26:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Young moms have a million questions about their little ones, from, “How do I stop the temper tantrums?” to “What do I do if my child just won’t eat?” Dr. Phil enlists the help of a family of experts in the field of pediatrics: Dr. William Sears and sons, Dr. James Sears, and Dr. Robert Sears. Collectively they’ve written 50 books that cover anything and everything a mom or dad could ever want to know. Together they field questions from young mothers. First, Angela says her 3-year-old daughter, Ellie, has been a screamer since the day she was born. Could Ellie’s temperament be the result of Angela’s feelings toward her at birth? Then, Robert and Wendy argue over what to do with their baby’s night crying. Robert claims Wendy runs to their 4 ½-month-old son, Ethan, at every whimper, sigh and cry. Wendy says Robert just doesn’t get it -- and why would he? She says he just sleeps right through it. Plus, Lisa says she’s terrified of germs and takes every precaution to keep her kids from getting sick. Her husband, Michael, says “Enough already!” Who’s right? Learn the answers to these and other parenting dilemmas and share your own concerns here.

For more information, visit http://www.askdrsears.com.

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January 14, 2007, 1:33 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: jettin

I am a twenty year old mom of a beautiful 4 month old. It seems that she has always had problems since she was born. Here bowels are all messed up. She screams in pain for at least 5 minutes just to have a bowel movement. Her doctor keeps telling us that it is a form of colic. I think otherwise. She refuses to sleep in her own bed, or in the room by herself. She has to sleep with me with my hand on her chest the whole night or she gets all fussy wakes up and cries until I move her. She cant sleep in a room without noise. There has to be the humidifier going and the stereo before she even thinks about going to bed for even a nap. And one last thing...I have started her on rice cereal as of two and a half weeks ago. She seemed to do really good on it but now she can only have a certain amount because it hurts her tummy and goes into the problem with her bowels. What can I do?

Personally, I would get a second opinion from another Doctor, they do miss things and they are human.  I had a colicky baby, okay granted that was a long time ago, but he didn't have problems moving his bowels, it could be something simple like constipation, but ( and not to scare you ) it could be an underlying condition that can be treated, the pain could be making it hard for her to sleep on her own.

Babies should not be started on solids before six months ( so I'm told by frinds with young babies) did your Doctor or a relative suggest it ?  I'm not trying to be critical, just maybe helping you think of other maybe causes.

But if you do decide to get another opinion, make a list of symptoms to take with you, and a list of questions to ask, I say make a list because we do forget things, and a good Doctor will listen to your concerns.

Good Luck.

 
January 14, 2007, 1:53 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: jettin

I am a twenty year old mom of a beautiful 4 month old. It seems that she has always had problems since she was born. Here bowels are all messed up. She screams in pain for at least 5 minutes just to have a bowel movement. Her doctor keeps telling us that it is a form of colic. I think otherwise. She refuses to sleep in her own bed, or in the room by herself. She has to sleep with me with my hand on her chest the whole night or she gets all fussy wakes up and cries until I move her. She cant sleep in a room without noise. There has to be the humidifier going and the stereo before she even thinks about going to bed for even a nap. And one last thing...I have started her on rice cereal as of two and a half weeks ago. She seemed to do really good on it but now she can only have a certain amount because it hurts her tummy and goes into the problem with her bowels. What can I do?

 I am a mother of 2 babyface girls ages 1 and 2.5. My 1st daughter was a REALLY "tough" baby, she cried all the time and needed constant attention. My husband and I learned when she was about 4 or 5 mns old the 5 S's rule by Dr. Harvey Karp, M.D. He was on Dr. Phil in 2005. he wrote the book "The Happiest baby on the block" We now call the book"Our baby Bible"  We started right away @ the 5 S's:  1-Swaddling  2- Side/Stomach 3-SHHHHHH  4-Swinging  5-Sucking.  We also started to use her crib and not our bed @ this time too! We put thick towels over her bedroom widows so it would be completely dark all of the time, that way she new it was time to sleep, We found a old police scanner that was perfect for white noice(#3) it sounded like a fuzzy channel on the T.V. We would swaddle her in a really big recieving blaket, everytime it was time to go for a sleep, then we would turn on the white noice machine, turn out the lights and rock with her while she nursed and when she was older while she drank her bottle!!

This worked like nothing I have ever seen or heard of before, ohh yeah BTW I am a daycare teacher!!  this lasted until she was about 10mns old. WE graduly weaned out the white noice for the radio and slowly started to swaddle her with one arm out, then two arms out then not swaddling her at all!! We have had no sleep problems with her at all, she sleeps all night and had a great nap during the day!!

I truly belieave in my"baby Bible" so much so that i know i can calm a crying baby in  less then 3min.  I have also loaned out my"baby Bible" to three of my girlfriends who have had babies, and they followed the same "rules" and also said that it worked great for them!

I hope this helps........and if you can go and buy or borrow the book, you won't be sorry you did!!

 
January 14, 2007, 3:46 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: bellasbest

Young moms or moms of young children?  I had my first child at 47 and my second at 48.  New mothers, both young and old and those who have adopted, invariably have the same questions about child rearing.  Please try not to lump all new mothers as young.  Thanks.

"Old" Mom in Virginia.

Young women who are newly mothers are likely to have spent less time thinking about these things, likely to have spent less time with babies...not because they are stupid but because they have spent less time on this planet...they have had less time with adult brains. This doesn't mean that they are incapable of raising children well, it just means they may need to reach out for external help.

Now, there are always exceptions.

But you had your first kid 30 years later than some women. That is 30 years of life experience that no baby book can make up for.

Again, there are always exceptions.
 
January 14, 2007, 4:21 pm CST

Whining stopped in my home when I ...

... told my whining children in a very calm manner that "I can't understand what you're saying when you're whining."  I hated lying but I knew that I didn't have any better coping skills at that point in time.  Still, the poor dears bought that lie and never whined. 

A daycare teacher told me she got her class to stop whining by whining right back at them.

I have no idea if the experts think these ideas are abusive or not, but no children were scarred in employing these parenting tactics.  Some adults' sanity was saved, however.

Parenting.  It's not for wusses!



 
January 14, 2007, 10:07 pm CST

two year old with a lot of frustation? Anger?

I have a two year old wonderful , smart , little girl. My problem is at bedtime. We have a well established routine,which was completly needed before my littlest was born,he is now 4 months old. We expected some trouble with her adjusting to him being born but she goes over the top at times. At bedtime she does well about 80% of the time, the other 20% is her crying and throwing up, we don't let her cry until she throws up she just starts to scream and cry really hard and before you can try to control it she throws up everywhere. I have taken her to her doctor who says its not a physical problem but an emotional one mainly because of her new little brother. It's really hard to deal with , she gets a lot af attention all the time, I mean I don't try to over do it,but I know she needs reassurance. This vomiting has me really worried though, her doctor said she would grow out of this phase but I was wondering if anyone else has or has had the same problem?
 
January 14, 2007, 10:08 pm CST

You'll never know all...

I am a 28 year old mother to 7 children. I started young at the age of 18 when I had my first and they just kept coming. I even had 2 in 1 year and they are not twins. I had a girl then 5 boys and then another girl. People come to me like I should be the expert because I have so many, please I didn't realize there could be 7 different personalities. A couple of my kids have health issues that I have had to learn about, I still haven't conquered the tantrums or yelling all the time. My house is like a circus most of the time. So any mom I think could stand to learn more. Not all of us can be Martha Stewart. If I could learn how to get along with my 10 year old daughter that would be a blessing. If my boys could try and drive me insane less, that would be wonderful. And how do you get housework, playtime and me time all in one day? That is my question for the experts.

Sincerely,

Kristina mother to 7

 
January 14, 2007, 10:20 pm CST

I have a four month old and a two year old, I understand!

Quote From: jettin

I am a twenty year old mom of a beautiful 4 month old. It seems that she has always had problems since she was born. Here bowels are all messed up. She screams in pain for at least 5 minutes just to have a bowel movement. Her doctor keeps telling us that it is a form of colic. I think otherwise. She refuses to sleep in her own bed, or in the room by herself. She has to sleep with me with my hand on her chest the whole night or she gets all fussy wakes up and cries until I move her. She cant sleep in a room without noise. There has to be the humidifier going and the stereo before she even thinks about going to bed for even a nap. And one last thing...I have started her on rice cereal as of two and a half weeks ago. She seemed to do really good on it but now she can only have a certain amount because it hurts her tummy and goes into the problem with her bowels. What can I do?
I agree with you, a lot more needs to be looked at. I have two little ones, a 4 month old and a 2 year old. I know my baby's doctor told me not to feed any rice cereral until 6 months old and even then still check back with the doctor first, it will consipate a baby. I have had a lot of dealings with baby gas. Make sure you are burping your baby after a bottle, it does not take much , at four months just putting her up on your shoulder with your other hand supporting her back to your chest and slowly walking thru the house produces some great burps! Just watch for the spit up with a bit of it and have a towel over your shoulder. The white noise i have heard is good for babies,its similar to womb noise, I have used and use a air purifier, they have a fan (of course) and make a good white noise for the baby, they can be found very inexpensive at wal-mart. My doctor told me that a humidifer will give a baby post nasal drip after alot of usage. Best of luck and I hope everything gets better
 
January 14, 2007, 11:17 pm CST

Hmm

Quote From: jettin

I am a twenty year old mom of a beautiful 4 month old. It seems that she has always had problems since she was born. Here bowels are all messed up. She screams in pain for at least 5 minutes just to have a bowel movement. Her doctor keeps telling us that it is a form of colic. I think otherwise. She refuses to sleep in her own bed, or in the room by herself. She has to sleep with me with my hand on her chest the whole night or she gets all fussy wakes up and cries until I move her. She cant sleep in a room without noise. There has to be the humidifier going and the stereo before she even thinks about going to bed for even a nap. And one last thing...I have started her on rice cereal as of two and a half weeks ago. She seemed to do really good on it but now she can only have a certain amount because it hurts her tummy and goes into the problem with her bowels. What can I do?
Are you breastfeeding? If not and your little one is on formula, the formula could be causing constipation which causes very painful bowel movements. My younger sister's little girl would SCREAM when having a bowel movement because her stools were so hard. Sometimes my sister would have to help her get the stool out by pushing her legs back and up. Formula is very heavy on the iron and the iron can be very constipating. Rice cereal also has a lot of iron in it so that probably would not be a good idea to feed rice cereal. Also, due to leaky gut, one should wait on solids until six months old though some doctors will okay it sooner (especially in formula fed babies). If the baby is breast-fed, then the other person's suggestion could very well be correct. But if you are formula feeding and you are thinking of having another child, you might want to consider breast-feeding if you are able to. Because it is possible that if one child has issues with formula, the other children will as well as my sister found out with her children. Her second child had even worse problems than her first because not only did she have the painful bowl-movements, she also constantly threw up. Just something to consider! I breastfeed my little one so I'm well versed on the benefits of breastmilk. I understand too that there are those who are just not able to; it's certainly not easy at all as I found out myself.
 
January 15, 2007, 12:40 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: wavdancr

... told my whining children in a very calm manner that "I can't understand what you're saying when you're whining."  I hated lying but I knew that I didn't have any better coping skills at that point in time.  Still, the poor dears bought that lie and never whined. 

A daycare teacher told me she got her class to stop whining by whining right back at them.

I have no idea if the experts think these ideas are abusive or not, but no children were scarred in employing these parenting tactics.  Some adults' sanity was saved, however.

Parenting.  It's not for wusses!



I tell my 2 year old that all the time, and it's true! I can't understand her.....LOL....it's working a bit. She's still very young for this to work all the time, but she does stop the crying and whining and does her best to speak in English to me...LOL

I don't think this is abusive in the least. It is hard to listen to whining. And sometimes you cannot be understood when you talk that way. Also, if they whined to someone who knew them less they just might NOT understand them. Whining isn't a great way of communication.
 
January 15, 2007, 5:21 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: wavdancr

... told my whining children in a very calm manner that "I can't understand what you're saying when you're whining."  I hated lying but I knew that I didn't have any better coping skills at that point in time.  Still, the poor dears bought that lie and never whined. 

A daycare teacher told me she got her class to stop whining by whining right back at them.

I have no idea if the experts think these ideas are abusive or not, but no children were scarred in employing these parenting tactics.  Some adults' sanity was saved, however.

Parenting.  It's not for wusses!



Hehe, used both of those tactics myself, just recently actually.

My teens decided they would regress for a moment to whiny five year olds, until I whined right beck that " I didn't feel like driving them to their friend's places," and the ever popular " Why do I have to do everything around here, while he/she does nothing", it works and I loved it when they said my tone was really annoying, nothing like a taste of one's own medecine.

 
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