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Topic : 01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:26:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Young moms have a million questions about their little ones, from, “How do I stop the temper tantrums?” to “What do I do if my child just won’t eat?” Dr. Phil enlists the help of a family of experts in the field of pediatrics: Dr. William Sears and sons, Dr. James Sears, and Dr. Robert Sears. Collectively they’ve written 50 books that cover anything and everything a mom or dad could ever want to know. Together they field questions from young mothers. First, Angela says her 3-year-old daughter, Ellie, has been a screamer since the day she was born. Could Ellie’s temperament be the result of Angela’s feelings toward her at birth? Then, Robert and Wendy argue over what to do with their baby’s night crying. Robert claims Wendy runs to their 4 ½-month-old son, Ethan, at every whimper, sigh and cry. Wendy says Robert just doesn’t get it -- and why would he? She says he just sleeps right through it. Plus, Lisa says she’s terrified of germs and takes every precaution to keep her kids from getting sick. Her husband, Michael, says “Enough already!” Who’s right? Learn the answers to these and other parenting dilemmas and share your own concerns here.

For more information, visit http://www.askdrsears.com.

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January 18, 2007, 2:52 pm CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: bellasbest

Young moms or moms of young children?  I had my first child at 47 and my second at 48.  New mothers, both young and old and those who have adopted, invariably have the same questions about child rearing.  Please try not to lump all new mothers as young.  Thanks.

"Old" Mom in Virginia.

I understand whatyou are saying but honestly, you are not old, I had my first child at 37 and my second at 39, I don't mind being an older mom, I actually love it and wouldn't change it but I am most definetly not old, I am 43 years young,LOL

I think maybe, even though it is stated for young mom's, it means all first time mom's as really, we all have something in common when we have our first child, and we all face basically the same type of things but yet a tthe same time, I know for me, I already knew alot about raising kids as I have been a professional childcare provider for many years way before becoming a parent and I have studied alot in the subject matter of kids so as I think another poster mentioned, us older mom's might have more experience and even knowledge then younger mom's (something like that she posted) whether that is true or not, we are all actually in the same boat, and mom's really shouldn't be put in categories according to age, for as far as I am concerned, I am a mom, young, old, middle age, so what! I believe parenthood is a beautiful journey and there are always gonna be questions, worries, whatever, regardelss of our ages as mom's.
 
January 18, 2007, 3:31 pm CST

Germs

 

The lady who wants to keep her kids germ free is outrageous!  It's like keeping germs out of a sewer.  Kids are just messy.  You might as well keep them from any friends too.  Germs travel in the air too, so is breathing still allowed?  What a disservice to the immune system....but i guess it's always good to be hygenic, she just takes it a step too far.

 
January 19, 2007, 5:42 am CST

01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Quote From: chazmith

 I had a problem with the professional insensitivity during the investigative process that my entire family went through when my baby son passed away from SIDS. The professionals that I 'm referring to is DHS of Oklahoma. They did not consider the feelings of the family of the deceased. They were accusing my husband and I of killing our son. They wouldn't let us be in the room with our own child till after they went through a series of questions. The main question that a DHS worker asked several times during my questioning was why did you kill your son. Finally the police officer had to ask her to leave. There is more, but that is the main question that I do not understand, why was this professional so insensitive towards me as a grieving mother.  I thought I was innocent till proven guilty. No, it is guilty till proven innocent. After all the questioning we had a DHS worker coming in and out of our home for months. I feel that it was unfair and very, very insensitive. I do not understand how some one can accuse someone of such a horrid thing. DHS finally left us alone after the coroners report came in the mail and stated my son died due to SIDS. It is anyone's worst nightmare to loose a child; but it is worse when you can not even grieve  because you have to defend your family.  I was in a state of shock for ever it seems. I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through the same thing. If so, I am deeply sorry. Dr. Phil I belive that they need your help in sensitivity training. Dr. Phil please help.

I agree about the sensitivity training...I've heard of other similar horror stories.

In my case, my baby didn't die but, I had to rush him to the hospital due to breathing problems...he ended up w/partially collapsed lungs. There was one particular nurse who just railed me up one side and down another,(wanting to know what I did)  till the doctor came in,and told her to shut -up. Long story short, My son had been premature(prone to lung problems) and there had been problems with me bleeding from the inside (I was breast-feeding) and some combo of all this caused his problem...he's now a healthy 11 yr. old.  The thing is no one should be attacked like that in their time of grief or worry

 
January 19, 2007, 5:56 am CST

My kids are 25 and 20.

My oldest child had colic from birth to 3 months. We did keep her in bed with us during that time. In the years since I have read that there have been deaths of infants caused by parents rolling over on them and smothering them. I didn't even think about that back then. When my kids were little (pre-school) I was always careful to keep them away from people who were contagious. (I was a stay-at-home mom.) Then when they started school, they caught everything coming and going. One time my pediatrician said that in his experience that if they weren't sick a lot as babies, then they tended to be sick a lot when they started school. I ask him if he was saying that I shouldn't have been so protective when they were little. He said "No", that he was just telling me what his experience was as a pediatrician.I applaude these young mothers for trying to figure out how to do the best they can. Caring for children is not easy, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
 
January 19, 2007, 6:21 am CST

SIDS awareness

 

I am a grandma that lost her 4 1/2 month old grandsons to SIDS.  I would like all people, including parents, caregivers, and especially professionals such as CPS and law officers to become educated to what SIDS is and what it is not.

 

NO ONE knows what it is like until it happens to them, and I can asure you that a family NEVER gets over it.  If the professionals were more educated maybe they wouldn't treat the parents the way they do.

 

Our family was treated wonderful by everyone concerned, however I know by talking to different grandparents in my support group and the other messages on this board that that is not always the case.

 

We need more awareness and Dr. Phil I think you are the one that could make this happen.

 

Grandma of Parker 11/07/04-3/28/05

 
January 19, 2007, 6:29 am CST

Tantrums

I really felt for the first mom on your show today that had the little girl who threw horrible tantrums.  I really want her to know that things get so much better!  My daughter cried non-stop from the moment she was born (literally), until she was about 7 months old.  The nurses in the hospital didn't even want to keep her because she would not stop.  I felt like a failure.  I didn't want to be around her, and quite frankly regretted the fact that she was here.  I remember calling my mother and telling her that the baby hated me and was doing all of that on purpose.  Eventually, the crying stopped, though she was still a high maintenance child who was very demanding and clingy.  She was very determined and even spit in my face once when she got fed up with me.  NOW... she is a beautiful, sweet, loving seven year old.  She is a joy to be around, well behaved, and extremely intelligent.  I always got the feeling when she was little that she was doing those things because she was frustrated and bored.  Now that I know her as an older child, I believe that even more.  She took it out on me because she didn't have the words to express her frustration.  Please know, it gets SO much better.  Believe me... I have totally been there.  Hang on!  Your child is a blessing, and eventually you'll really believe that. :)
 
January 19, 2007, 6:51 am CST

7 year old

 I need some help, I have a 7 year old daughter, she is a 1st grader, and at school all day long, so when she does come home from school she might have a snack, and then at dinner time she has her food and her drink, so when it is time for her to go to bed about 8:00p.m. she will say she wants a drink so sometimes if I give her something, before I  go to bed, I will wake her up and take her to the bathroom, and put her back to bed, and sometimes int he morning she will wake up wet, and she will go to the bathroom and say Mommy I am wet, so I will get her clean underpaints and pj's and I will clean the bed, and she will clean herself up, and then there is also times she will not sleep in her bed, she wants to sleep on the couch. Could you please help me?
 
January 19, 2007, 7:03 am CST

Good Start Rocks!!!!

Quote From: faeryedark

My oldest son had problems like this (he was breast-fed exclusely for his first 6 mos. and then I had to supplement with formula. That's when the problems started...until I put him on Carnation Good Start which was more easily digetsed.. you may want to try this.

I am certainly not a young Mom, I had my daughter at 35.  Enifimil and Similac "stopped her up" so I bought some Good Start to try and it worked wonders!!!
 
January 19, 2007, 7:22 am CST

Not Really Convinced

I have a real problem with all the baby doctors.  They all seem to be experts saying that  "all babies" do this...or " all babies" do that.  The truth of the matter is that  " all babies" are different.  I am 33 years old I have one son but have raised many children since the time that I was 17 years old.  They say that breast milk is best for babies and that if they dont get that then there is just a bunch of health problems that they will have.  Well I'm sure that breast milk is best, but what do you tell a young mother that has just had a baby and her milk never came in.  That happened to me.  I raised my son on formula, switched him to milk when the formula wasnt enough at 6 months, because he was still hungry.  He is now going to be 12 in February.  I think I can count maybe 10 times he was really sick.  He has never had earaches and has always been an incredibly happy child.  The rule of thumb that I have always followed with every child that I have raised is basically using common sense.  I never jumped and coddled the baby as soon as he cried because babies will control a parent with that.  Children in my opinion learn manipulation very early.  " If I cry...I get this" be it attention, bottle, changed or whatever.  I would usually let my son cry for at least 5 minutes before I would actually go to take care of him.  As far as letting the baby sleep in the bed with the parents, One thing that the doctors on this show never covered was the amount of babies that are killed every year by parents accidently rolling over and smothering them.  The biggest problem I think in raising children in this world today is all the  "experts" that are out there.  One day something is good for them, the next day it isnt.  I feel so sorry for these parents that actually listen to these reports and live there lives by them.  I would tell any person that wasnt sure about something, go with your gut instinct and common sense.   And after that if your still not sure....talk to grandma, mom...somebody that's been doing it awhile. 
 
January 19, 2007, 7:22 am CST

Colic

I was 23 when I gave birth to my first child.  She cried for 4 weeks straight.  I took her to our pediatrician.  He told me that she had colic and that she would out grow it.  After an additional 2 weeks of crying I called the doctors office back to make another appointment.  They told me that they would have the doctor call me.  When the doctor called me back he again told me that she had colic and the only thing that he could do would be to prescribe  phenobarbital for my baby and that this would make her quiet and she would get rest.  My reply was "Are you kidding me"? "She's crying because she hurts for some reason".  I told him that phenobarbital is a barbiturate and is addicting.  That's all I knew about it at the time.  He still thought that this was a good idea.  I told him that I would be coming into his office but it would be to pick up my childs medical records and that I would be changing pediatricians.  I thought to myself, this can't be happening even in 1981.  After going to another pediatrician we found out that our daughter had alergies to milk products.  Even today at age 25 she still has to limit her milk products.  As a mother I will always trust my instincts. 
 
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