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Topic : 06/20 Snobs and Egomaniacs

Number of Replies: 103
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Created on : Friday, January 19, 2007, 01:21:55 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/23/07) Do you know people whose egos are off the charts? Dr. Phil’s guests take self-love to the extreme. Renee believes that she’s right all the time and even brags that her friends worship her. Her fiancé, Chuck, says Renee is confused because he’s the one who excels at everything. The couple says their ego wars are all fun and games, so why were the police recently at their house? Then, Desiree says her husband-to-be, Anthony, thinks he’s God’s gift to women. She says he won’t go to the gas station without putting on cologne, tells his family he’s “sexy as hell,” and he even puts on stripteases … for himself! Anthony says he’s not conceited; he just has really high self-esteem. Is Anthony’s big head going to cause big problems in his relationship? Plus, don’t miss the hidden camera experiment that Dr. Phil conducts on his audience. Do you know a snob? Tell us!

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January 22, 2007, 8:09 am CST

01/23 Snobs and Egomaniacs

Quote From: queenvaron

You really think this guy is a snob huh? You haven't seen anything until you look at my husband. He is not only a snob that looks down on everyone, but he is also a master mainpulator and would have you believe that he is the savior of the world. He is what I call Mr. Big Cadillac Man Manipulator. He is very immature and plays with his toys, big or small. I had to sell off his tremendous G.I. Joe collection because he said f I lost the car that I lost him. He has done immeasurable things to not only me, but to other people. He tells lies about me to other people and states that I make him feel like a hillbilly. It was my trucker's hands that supported us most of our marriage. Yet he lets people know that I am a phramaceuticul representative that works for Eli Lilly making a six figure income. He tells people lies. When I had to work at Wal-Mart for a time people asked him if I was his wife working at Wal-Mart and he told them no that I was his wife's sister. Before we were married one of the stipulations that I had was that he had to have Jesus Christ as his Savior. He said he did and then I found out after we were married that he had lied to me. The Master Manipulator is what I call him and I would like to see you try that one on for size. There is so much more to the story than this, but that is another cookie for another day. Every day is a struggle for me. I take one day at a time. Can you imagine having to go to the bathroom in a bucket because you are trying to save a few dollars on sewage, or that you don't have money for Monstat 1-Day treatent for your yeast infections because Magic Cards are too important to your husband? You cannot begin to imagine my world. Be happy the guy is only conceited and nothing more. If he is more than that he will deny you the very freedom you have so he can satisfy his material wants (not needs).
I read over the comments people gave you.  Talk about egocentric and judgemental.  If you haven't been in her shoes please don't judge.  When a person is with a manipulator, liar, critical person, slowly or quickly their self-esteem dwindles.  They don't trust their own judgement, and often times things from their childhood or past relationships may be playing a part.  I am a psychologist and see this quite often.  Blame the victim.  Right, people are just hanging out in these bad relationships because they don't have a backbone.  Too bad it's not that easy.  I suggest you get into counseling to figure out why you stay, and to make a plan to leave.  You will gain self-esteem and empowerment along the way.  If it's a money issue, many agencies take medicaid, or have a sliding fee scale.  You can check with Community Mental Health for reduced rates.
 
January 22, 2007, 8:20 am CST

Definitions

Let's clear up some confusion.  Cockiness, arrogance, is feeling so bad somewhere on the inside that you have to tell, convince everyone how really great you are, because you truly don't feel that way.  Now confidence on the other hand is...Feeling so great about yourself and loving yourself so much that you don't have to tell anyone about it because you just believe it.  Cocky, arrogant people crack me up because when someone is outwardly boasting about themselves all I see is a bright neon sign on them that states...I am Insecure, I don't love myself.
 
January 22, 2007, 8:20 am CST

You don't have to put up with that kind of treatment

Quote From: queenvaron

You really think this guy is a snob huh? You haven't seen anything until you look at my husband. He is not only a snob that looks down on everyone, but he is also a master mainpulator and would have you believe that he is the savior of the world. He is what I call Mr. Big Cadillac Man Manipulator. He is very immature and plays with his toys, big or small. I had to sell off his tremendous G.I. Joe collection because he said f I lost the car that I lost him. He has done immeasurable things to not only me, but to other people. He tells lies about me to other people and states that I make him feel like a hillbilly. It was my trucker's hands that supported us most of our marriage. Yet he lets people know that I am a phramaceuticul representative that works for Eli Lilly making a six figure income. He tells people lies. When I had to work at Wal-Mart for a time people asked him if I was his wife working at Wal-Mart and he told them no that I was his wife's sister. Before we were married one of the stipulations that I had was that he had to have Jesus Christ as his Savior. He said he did and then I found out after we were married that he had lied to me. The Master Manipulator is what I call him and I would like to see you try that one on for size. There is so much more to the story than this, but that is another cookie for another day. Every day is a struggle for me. I take one day at a time. Can you imagine having to go to the bathroom in a bucket because you are trying to save a few dollars on sewage, or that you don't have money for Monstat 1-Day treatent for your yeast infections because Magic Cards are too important to your husband? You cannot begin to imagine my world. Be happy the guy is only conceited and nothing more. If he is more than that he will deny you the very freedom you have so he can satisfy his material wants (not needs).
I agree with the others here: Get out of that relationship now. And if you don't have the strength to do it, get help from somewhere. Unless you're in a tiny town, there should be a battered-woman's shelter. Your pastor, if s/he truly follows the gospel, might be able to help. If you can't afford counseling, check out your public mental health center. Whatever it takes! By living in the relationship you're in, you're slowly committing suicide.
 
January 22, 2007, 10:54 am CST

Arrogance is a sin

God was 100% correct when he renounced ARROGANCE. Arrogance people are hiding how they REALLY feel about themselves.

 

When someone has to tell you how great s/he is or has to knock someone else, s/he is truly a powerless, wimpy person lacking true esteem and not being at peace.

 

Truly confident, happy people feel no need to boost up themselves or knock others. They are at peace with themselves and actually like who they are (while ackowledging the truth that they can never be perfect...since nobody is).

 

It's sad how people spend (waste) their lives....trying to PRETEND they are happy and great:)

 
January 22, 2007, 10:56 am CST

You hit the nail on the head!

Quote From: rosie52

I wonder if maybe sometimes when people seem to be snobs or have a huge ego, it's a cover for their for their fear of not being good enough. I think that the proof is in what a person quitely accomplishes. Self-confidence can be a gentle, subtle thing.

Excellent post.

 

I would suspect the good doctor (and those who have studied both psychology and sociology) would agree.  The happiest, nicest people I know are confident w/o being arrogant. They are role model for others who seek peace and contentment in their lives.

 
January 22, 2007, 11:06 am CST

You're not a "dope!"

Quote From: uglysean

Now here's an interesting concept. It was never clear whether a person has self-esteem or an ego.  Either way, because I'm depressed most of the time (I take antidepressants daily) I would love to have the confidence in myself that people like Renee or Anthony possess.

It's easy, I suppose when you have the money Dr. Phil has, or the looks that Robin has - ego? I first thought that of Dr. Phil until I realized - the dude knows what he's talking about. Me? I'm a dope. Serously, some of us would love to be an egomaniac for a day. Maybe it isn't all that bad!

 

There is a HUGE difference between having self-confidence and being ARROGANCE. Arrogant people have to put down others to build themselves up. Arrogant people are not happy people. Arrogant people are actually weak, powerless, unhappy people who need to be TOLD they are good.

 

Self confident people don't feel the need to tell anybody anything or to prove anything. They merely live their lives (happily) and rejoice when others do well. They are mature and need no reassurances. They are in control of their lives...who they are, etc.

 

Dr. Phil does not appear arrogant. He DOES appear self-confident. He should be...he has a love of God, a great wife and family (which he adores), he has a wonderful career and he's able to help others on a grand scale.

 

Remember the old saying, "It's hard to be humble when you are as great as I." Yes, HUMBLE is what we all should strive for!

 

By the way, sorry about the depression. Was in that state when I was an adolescent (early 20's) and it almost cost me my life. I worked thru it alone (it took 2 years) and have been happy and healthy ever since (I'm 44).

 

Don't give up, please! Always remember how life would be for those who LOVE YOU if you were to give up. They would feel sadness and guilt until they died. Knowing that is what kept me plugging away until I reached good health.

 

God bless you on this road. Tell youself you're going to make it. Surround yourself with new acquaintances (I did) and FORCE yourself to get out of the house. Eventually, those "acquintances" become new friends and you'll be on the road to recovery. Take care. I have faith in you!

 
January 23, 2007, 3:58 am CST

01/23 Snobs and Egomaniacs

Snobbishness and inflated egos are nothing more than attempts to mask one's low sense of self worth. You can always tell how a person feels about themselves by viewing the way they treat other people. People who truly feel good about themselves don't need to advertise it...their good qualities stand out on their own. A truly cool individual doesn't have to keep reminding everyone how great he/she is!
 
January 23, 2007, 6:08 am CST

Egomaniacs

Renee and Chuck both compete with each other to their own detriment. They both seem to want to be right but in reality Renee really craves Chuck's admiration in her persuits, but he's too scared to give this to her in case she will throw it back in his face and get hurt.  At times she has torn him down and calls him an idiot and she says that he has to change. The incident where they called the police to the house was really a sad reflection of their turbulent relationship. They both need to put their cards on the table and truly be honest about each other's weaknesses and allow Dr.Phil to help them come to a level playing field.  Like Dr.Phil said, when competing one is a winner and the other one a loser.  Both ideally need to come to a loving give and take relationship, and then both will be winners. The spirit of competition i believe is detrimental to a loving committed relationship. They need to eradicate that out of their lives, otherwise i don't believe their relationship will last. They need to see the good in each others efforts and love and respect each other.   With Desiree and fiancee Anthony, their relationship is really in a spiral downwards.  It would be so annoying to have someone boast about how hot and sexy he or she was and that all the girls are drawn to him. It sure wont inspire a lot of confidence in Desiree. Maybe he needs to get some counselling about his earlier life when he was picked on at school, if that is the reason that is making him feel and act this way.  Even so at this time it would not be a good time for them to marry as Desiree is insecure about it all and he needs to stop doing this completely and with counselling to help him delve why hes acting and feeling this way.  He needs to see the harm that his attitude causes to his partner and find peace within himself otherwise they will not be together for long. And he will have trouble in other relationships unless he changes his attitude because no girl will put up with that. He even annoys his sister Brianne, but shes lucky because she doesn't have to live with him.
 
January 23, 2007, 6:40 am CST

To Queenvaron

Quote From: mandelbrot

I agree with the others here: Get out of that relationship now. And if you don't have the strength to do it, get help from somewhere. Unless you're in a tiny town, there should be a battered-woman's shelter. Your pastor, if s/he truly follows the gospel, might be able to help. If you can't afford counseling, check out your public mental health center. Whatever it takes! By living in the relationship you're in, you're slowly committing suicide.
Yes please leave your relationship with this husband of yours.  He is truly self-centred and manipulative.  I don't want to break up marriages but your going to wind up in a mental institution if you dont get out.  Is your pastor a kind and understanding man?  Perhaps he/she can help you find other lodgins.  Or maybe a social worker in your town can help you find another place to live where your safe, happy and secure.  Have you understanding family? Maybe you could turn to them for help. Any man that denies his wife or partner medicine for an infection is a complete beast as far as i am concerned and doesn't deserve his partner. You poor soul, i feel so sorry for you, i will keep you in my prayers.  Love Maria3255.  
 
January 23, 2007, 7:17 am CST

My Friend

Quote From: queenvaron

You really think this guy is a snob huh? You haven't seen anything until you look at my husband. He is not only a snob that looks down on everyone, but he is also a master mainpulator and would have you believe that he is the savior of the world. He is what I call Mr. Big Cadillac Man Manipulator. He is very immature and plays with his toys, big or small. I had to sell off his tremendous G.I. Joe collection because he said f I lost the car that I lost him. He has done immeasurable things to not only me, but to other people. He tells lies about me to other people and states that I make him feel like a hillbilly. It was my trucker's hands that supported us most of our marriage. Yet he lets people know that I am a phramaceuticul representative that works for Eli Lilly making a six figure income. He tells people lies. When I had to work at Wal-Mart for a time people asked him if I was his wife working at Wal-Mart and he told them no that I was his wife's sister. Before we were married one of the stipulations that I had was that he had to have Jesus Christ as his Savior. He said he did and then I found out after we were married that he had lied to me. The Master Manipulator is what I call him and I would like to see you try that one on for size. There is so much more to the story than this, but that is another cookie for another day. Every day is a struggle for me. I take one day at a time. Can you imagine having to go to the bathroom in a bucket because you are trying to save a few dollars on sewage, or that you don't have money for Monstat 1-Day treatent for your yeast infections because Magic Cards are too important to your husband? You cannot begin to imagine my world. Be happy the guy is only conceited and nothing more. If he is more than that he will deny you the very freedom you have so he can satisfy his material wants (not needs).
I understand that you are a Christian and are probably trying because of your faith.  But I am also a Christian and have a strong faith in Jesus Christ and have become good friends with him.  I don't think my friend Jesus would want you to live this way.  Your husband's problems are his and you have made them your own.  You are a good person and deserve much better.  God bless you and give you the strength and courage to do what you need to do.
 
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