Message Boards

Topic : 06/27 Problem Parent or Problem Child?

Number of Replies: 169
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, January 19, 2007, 01:23:14 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/24/07) Do you find yourself wondering where your relationship with your child went wrong? You say it’s your child. Your child says it’s you. Who’s to blame? Dr. Phil uncovers where the problem lies in these families. Penny says her life is in shambles because her 17-year-old son, Jason, is extremely threatening and violent. Jason says his mother is a lazy alcoholic, and all he has ever wanted was to feel loved by her. Penny’s sister, Jackie, says Penny has a drinking problem and wants the mother and son to get help before they kill each other. Then, Kim has three sons –- 14, 2 and 15 months -- but says she loves her middle son, Cullen, the most. She has pictures of him all over her house, but not her other two sons. She takes Cullen to bed with her at night, while the baby cries himself to sleep in his own room, and she buys Cullen new clothes, while her youngest gets hand-me-downs. Her oldest son says he has felt neglected his whole life and is worried the baby will feel that way too. Kim’s friend, Starlette, says Kim’s baby has even started calling her Mama. What’s behind Kim’s favoritism, and why does she feel justified? Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More June 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

June 23, 2007, 10:21 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show

Child Doctor Or Parents Phil Problem. Where did I see this before? Maybe this year. See you tomorrow Afternoon. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.------------------------------------------------ 
 
June 23, 2007, 6:51 pm CDT

15 year old runaway

I'll have to watch this show. My son turned 15 in May and has run away from home twice since then. I feel like I'm starting to hate him. What happen to a teens mind? My son is a honor roll student but there are times I feel like he is two different people.

I'll be tuning in for this one!!!

 
June 24, 2007, 10:21 am CDT

13 CHILDREN DIE ON THE STREETS OF AMERICA EVERY DAY

In America there is a common misconception that children runaway from home because they are societal delinquents who want to be free of authority. The media depicts homeless and street kids as "rebels without a cause", as children who have no regard for society, who have no dreams and no aspirations for life but to get high.  

 

We know this portrayal of homeless and street kids to be false. In fact we know that 90% of children who run away have encountered mental, physical, emotional, and/ or sexual abuse. No child wants to live on the streets. No child wants to have to beg, steal, sell drugs, and/ or themselves just to survive.

 

More than half of the children on the streets are still under the age of 15.  Unable to legally work, these kids get involved in criminal activity just to survive.  Based on current estimates, there are more than one and a half million children, teenagers and young adults trying to survive on the U.S. streets today.  Children now make up 27 percent of the fastest growing segment of the U.S. homeless population.

 

For more info:  www.turnpurple.org 

 

The Turn Purple Campaign is the nations' first campaign against child abuse and the resulting problem of youth homelessness. 

 

 

 

DON'T RUNAWAY - TELL SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST

 

 

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical and sexual abuse have signposts to mark their presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Just as physical and sexual abuse come in degrees of severity, emotional abuse runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

 

Anyone who had the misfortune of being raised by a parent who is cruel, vicious, vindictive, calculating, manipulative, a liar, cheat, selfish or neglectful may benefit from reading some of my favorite books on the subject: 

 

 

Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss AND Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward 

 

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson OR Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman 

 

Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger OR The Angry Heart:  Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen

 

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm

 

 

If you tell your problem to someone that you can trust and still feel unhappy, unsafe, or uncomfortable, or if you don't trust anyone that you know, then you should CALL these numbers until you speak with someone you can trust:

 

National Runaway Switchboard  1-800-RUNAWAY or 1-800-621-4000

Covenant House Nine Line 1-800-999-9999

Child HELP USA 1-800-4ACHILD

Stand Up for Kids 1-800-365-4KID

Volunteers of America  www.voa.org

 

 

If you are unhappy or uncomfortable with something in your life it is up to you to change your situation and tell someone that you can trust. 

 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 
June 24, 2007, 3:55 pm CDT

So, what's up with the Dad, clue us in.

Quote From: fedupmother

 I know his DAD and you have no clue!!!!
I'm in the mood for a clue about the Dad.
 
June 24, 2007, 4:06 pm CDT

I ain't DrP, but it looks like you're at least trying to do SOMETHING.

Quote From: cindygodw

Dr Phil

i was just wanting to know if you would consider me to being unrealistic or not

 

My ex husband and one of my sons friends were in a race that resulted in a terrible car crash

my son was involved in the crash he was in the passangers seat of my ex husbands car there were a few other kids involved in the crash as well but what i am wondering is if i am being rediculous or not by filling for a restraining order against him so that he could not have anything to do with my son so that 

the judge denide the request so now i have taken this in another direction by getting DSS involved the biggest problem that i feel that i am having is my son feels that his father did nothing wrong and cant understand why i am being the way that i am being

my only concern for him is to be protected from someone who has hurt him

my son has had panic attacks while being a passanger in my car and is suffering terrible headaches

i feel like if i go to much further i could loose my son forever do you think it is worth the risk as i feel it is

sincerely

cindy godwin

Is there a school counselor, clergyman or at least someone who can sit down with your son and have a good talk with him? Why does your son feel that his father did nothing wrong? I wouldn't try to take his father completely away. It might defeat your purpose. He should have restricted visits with your son. Surely to God ,he wouldn't do the same thing again! But if you try to keep him completely out of the picture ,your son might feel more compelled to defend him and want to be with him. Good luck. I think you're just acting like any mother trying to protect your child.
 
June 24, 2007, 7:31 pm CDT

Problem Child?

If there is a problem child it almost always falls back to being the parent.  To change the behavior of the child, first change the behavior of the parent.  The "apple" does not fall far from the "tree".
 
June 25, 2007, 4:07 am CDT

In this case I believe this to be true.

Quote From: teacher91

If there is a problem child it almost always falls back to being the parent.  To change the behavior of the child, first change the behavior of the parent.  The "apple" does not fall far from the "tree".
I hope Penny got some counseling and has stopped drinking. She seemed to be in denial about the whole thing.
 
June 25, 2007, 8:20 am CDT

parent/child problems

I have a 17 year old son that is breaking my heart.  He is full blown defiant, comes and goes as he pleases and I haven't got the strength emotionally to stand up to him.  His dad is the alcoholic and friends say he lashes out at me to vent his anger.  But I don't feel any better.  I wish I could just run away but that's not going to help anybody. And, I would feel like I'm abandoning my son maybe when he needs me the most.  The alcohol has destroyed my whole family.   Penny, as the alcoholic, can't see what the alcohol is doing; it's the nature of the disease.  hopefully, she'll get the wake-up call before it's too late.
 
June 25, 2007, 9:51 am CDT

06/27 Problem Parent or Problem Child?

Quote From: teacher91

If there is a problem child it almost always falls back to being the parent.  To change the behavior of the child, first change the behavior of the parent.  The "apple" does not fall far from the "tree".
  this may be true with some children but there is alot of children out there with mental disorder that will cause them to act out my son he  just turned 10 this may he has bipolair and ocd with this he has at time voilent rages for no reason sweet and fine one sec then the next out of control i am a single parent dealing with this along with 2 other children ages 12 and 14 things are alot calmer than this time last year he had been arrested 4 times in 8mnths for domestic voilence but now he is doing and has been for alittle over 6 mnths he has had two rages and they was short ones and didn't involve the police or hospital we seen alot of this stoping after we took  him out of his public school (this is what caused alot of his behavior problem how is was being treated there and the angry he had with me for keep sending me there) he is now in a private school but now he is doing wonderful  at school and at home he has been abile to start trusting people again and is getting over his fear of leaving the house he still has his days but nothing like before so it isn't always the parents fault
 
June 25, 2007, 4:17 pm CDT

Problem Child? #2

Quote From: chas0501

  this may be true with some children but there is alot of children out there with mental disorder that will cause them to act out my son he  just turned 10 this may he has bipolair and ocd with this he has at time voilent rages for no reason sweet and fine one sec then the next out of control i am a single parent dealing with this along with 2 other children ages 12 and 14 things are alot calmer than this time last year he had been arrested 4 times in 8mnths for domestic voilence but now he is doing and has been for alittle over 6 mnths he has had two rages and they was short ones and didn't involve the police or hospital we seen alot of this stoping after we took  him out of his public school (this is what caused alot of his behavior problem how is was being treated there and the angry he had with me for keep sending me there) he is now in a private school but now he is doing wonderful  at school and at home he has been abile to start trusting people again and is getting over his fear of leaving the house he still has his days but nothing like before so it isn't always the parents fault
 Please remember that I said most of the time... not *all*  the time.  I totally understand that there are mental illnesses that impact many people, and I am glad that your son is doing better.  Good for you for doing what he needed you to do for him to help him on his way to a better life.
 
First | Prev | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | Next | Last