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Topic : 06/27 Problem Parent or Problem Child?

Number of Replies: 169
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Created on : Friday, January 19, 2007, 01:23:14 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/24/07) Do you find yourself wondering where your relationship with your child went wrong? You say it’s your child. Your child says it’s you. Who’s to blame? Dr. Phil uncovers where the problem lies in these families. Penny says her life is in shambles because her 17-year-old son, Jason, is extremely threatening and violent. Jason says his mother is a lazy alcoholic, and all he has ever wanted was to feel loved by her. Penny’s sister, Jackie, says Penny has a drinking problem and wants the mother and son to get help before they kill each other. Then, Kim has three sons –- 14, 2 and 15 months -- but says she loves her middle son, Cullen, the most. She has pictures of him all over her house, but not her other two sons. She takes Cullen to bed with her at night, while the baby cries himself to sleep in his own room, and she buys Cullen new clothes, while her youngest gets hand-me-downs. Her oldest son says he has felt neglected his whole life and is worried the baby will feel that way too. Kim’s friend, Starlette, says Kim’s baby has even started calling her Mama. What’s behind Kim’s favoritism, and why does she feel justified? Share your thoughts here.

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January 24, 2007, 4:16 pm CST

Problem Parents

Quote From: siempre2

I just finished watching your show today and was very angry at Jason's mother (can't remember her name). I wished I had counted when Dr. Phil asked her a direct question, she would go off to third base and not even come close in giving an answer. I don't think Jason should get any blaime for the way his actions are right now. His role model is definitely NO HELP! Any teenager given a little bit of niche to do whatever they want will definitely take it. I am happy to see Jason really wants help, but I really don't think his mother will follow through completely, hopefully for sake of Jason she will. I hope Dr. Phil will have a follow-up show on this family to see if any good results occur if they did what Dr. Phil offered them.
I totally agree with you Jason's mom is not ready. I could'nt believe the lack of emotion from either of these women. They really did'nt have a clue. They were not reacting to the reality of what they we doing. Hoe frustrating Dr. Phil had to be. I know I was.
 
January 24, 2007, 4:17 pm CST

People are Lucky to Have Children

Quote From: mjblondie

Although I agree with the messages saying the kids are hurting when the mom favors one over the others, you can see how much she is hurting too. She intellectually understands what she's doing and is being open to Dr. Phil's guidance.I want to wish her the best of luck as she works to build her own confidence and self-worth, so that she can pass that on to her own children. She's like most of the rest of us moms, doing the best we can in whatever situation we're in. Good luck to her!

I watched this show earlier this evening with my husband sitting beside me.  We were both upset with this mother to see how things were unfolding.  I'm glad she had the "guts" to at least admit her guilt.  As we saw earlier in this same episode the first lady was in total denial with her son Jason.

  I was glad to see this 2nd Mom stepped up, admitted she had a problem and was willing to accept the help Dr. Phil offered her.

Before the words were out of Dr. Phil's mouth, I knew he was going to say that her affections towards her middle child were unhealthy.  It was clear to me that this young boy was like a surrogate for the love she lost  and wanted from the child's father. 

Her behaviour is inexcusable...however, it is understandable...she has experienced lots of losses, and her emotions are up and down, all over the place.  I still feel it is IN NO WAY a JUSTIFICATION FOR WHAT SHE WAS DOING WRONG. 

The Mom seemed to realize that she needs serious counselling, and for her sake, and for her family's sake I hope that it's not too late.  Hopefully things will turn around for the better.  All her

children deserve THAT MUCH!!!

           -------------------------------

We are unable to have children of our own, and we are researching the adoption process here in Canada with hopes of having our own special family!

The bottom line is children are a blessing, and parents need to remember that!

 
January 24, 2007, 4:26 pm CST

Wow Where are the Mother's In These Stories

 

 

 

I was so angrey when I read about the shows.  None of these so called mothers are being moms.   I just want to take all those kids and give them great big hugs.  And tell those mothers to get their act in gear.    It makes me soooooo angry,  being a parent is a gift and all those mom's are taking it for granted.   We tell people how we want to be treated and it is no wonder that first mom is being treated she is look at the example she is giving to her son.  It started with her.    To the mom who favours the middle son.  That whole relationship is a bit sick and none of those kids asked to be there.    It is going to hurt those kids so bad and the relationship that the kids have with one another is not going to be good at all.   These parents should not and do not diserve their kids and if I could I would take them all in and show them what a home is suppose to be like.  Loving and supportive no matter WHAT!!!!!

 
January 24, 2007, 4:27 pm CST

FAVORITES

I have not seen this show yet, it will be on tonight and I will definitely watch.  I am one of four girls.  I am the second.  My mom showed favoritism in different ways.  Of course my oldest sister was treated differently because she was oldest.  My sister that is three years younger than me was the favorite for a very long time -- both from my mom and dad.  My dad would take her to Dairy Queen and McDonalds without me or my other sister.  My mother always allowed exceptions for everything for this sister.  I always got straight A's and was on honor roll.  This was never any big deal to my mom.  But my younger sister, if she got a C, then the whole house would celebrate.  This sister started drinking and drugs at about age 12.  My mom never admitted that she knew this and never addressed this problem.  The first time I had a drink (and I was legal drinking age) my mother told me I was an alcoholic.  When I was 7, my youngest sister came along.  My mother always said that she was "special."  She always got new clothes and at one time had almost 50 pairs of shoes.  My mother is dead now but I know for some reason I was the least favorite.  We never had conversations, she never wanted to know how I was doing in school, or asked how I felt about anything.  I still feel like I was never really part of the family.  I feel badly for these children.  My sisters are always saying "Don't you miss mom?"  And to be honest, I really don't.
 
January 24, 2007, 4:49 pm CST

Child Abuse

This woman should have all three of her children taken away from her as what she is doing is blatant child abuse.  It makes me so angry when I see people who have no business having children who have children.  Any person who does what she is doing has no business having children.
 
January 24, 2007, 4:56 pm CST

Well, I'm speechless.....NOT

Children are such a gift from God, how can anyone justify treating a child with such disregard.  Unfortunately, parents get sooooo wrapped up in their own lives to properly care for their children.  I am the mother of four adult children.  The term "favorite child" was never spoken on our home.  As adults, we cannot lay our own misgivings, poor decisions, and problems at our children's feet.  Children need to be loved, to play, to grow, and just be children.  And adults need to step up and be ADULTS!

 
January 24, 2007, 5:04 pm CST

Black Sheep

 I too was the unfavored child. I have one older sister who got all the affection from our dominant parent, mom.  Mom felt that if she only had my sister to care for, she might acheive happiness.  She'd be better able to leave my father and make it on her own, etc.   I was the added burden that held her back. 
Some 20 years later I came to realize I was just her excuse for being the bitter, jaded person she is at times.   She projected on to me all the things she disliked about herself, and so on. 
My sister has turned out a bit better than me.  Although I've acheived some success in my life, I'm plagued repetitive disfunctional relationships and struggle with substance abuse. 
Funny thing now is my arrogant, spoiled sister lives overseas and rarely has time for mom.  I'm the one who's there for her but my love is unconditional and I'll be there to take of her when the tables are turned in the end.
 
January 24, 2007, 5:29 pm CST

Love yourself

Quote From: dagnabbitt

 I too was the unfavored child. I have one older sister who got all the affection from our dominant parent, mom.  Mom felt that if she only had my sister to care for, she might acheive happiness.  She'd be better able to leave my father and make it on her own, etc.   I was the added burden that held her back. 
Some 20 years later I came to realize I was just her excuse for being the bitter, jaded person she is at times.   She projected on to me all the things she disliked about herself, and so on. 
My sister has turned out a bit better than me.  Although I've acheived some success in my life, I'm plagued repetitive disfunctional relationships and struggle with substance abuse. 
Funny thing now is my arrogant, spoiled sister lives overseas and rarely has time for mom.  I'm the one who's there for her but my love is unconditional and I'll be there to take of her when the tables are turned in the end.
You can only be responsible for yourself and not care what other people think You can only Love you
 
January 24, 2007, 5:31 pm CST

01/24 Problem Parent or Problem Child?

Quote From: jullin

This woman should have all three of her children taken away from her as what she is doing is blatant child abuse.  It makes me so angry when I see people who have no business having children who have children.  Any person who does what she is doing has no business having children.
I have to agree it is a good thing she can not have anymore
 
January 24, 2007, 5:34 pm CST

wat a shame

Quote From: tonynattyjason

 

 

 

I was so angrey when I read about the shows.  None of these so called mothers are being moms.   I just want to take all those kids and give them great big hugs.  And tell those mothers to get their act in gear.    It makes me soooooo angry,  being a parent is a gift and all those mom's are taking it for granted.   We tell people how we want to be treated and it is no wonder that first mom is being treated she is look at the example she is giving to her son.  It started with her.    To the mom who favours the middle son.  That whole relationship is a bit sick and none of those kids asked to be there.    It is going to hurt those kids so bad and the relationship that the kids have with one another is not going to be good at all.   These parents should not and do not diserve their kids and if I could I would take them all in and show them what a home is suppose to be like.  Loving and supportive no matter WHAT!!!!!

Is it not amazing that parents can not figure out why their children have problems.
 
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