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Topic : 06/27 Problem Parent or Problem Child?

Number of Replies: 169
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Created on : Friday, January 19, 2007, 01:23:14 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/24/07) Do you find yourself wondering where your relationship with your child went wrong? You say it’s your child. Your child says it’s you. Who’s to blame? Dr. Phil uncovers where the problem lies in these families. Penny says her life is in shambles because her 17-year-old son, Jason, is extremely threatening and violent. Jason says his mother is a lazy alcoholic, and all he has ever wanted was to feel loved by her. Penny’s sister, Jackie, says Penny has a drinking problem and wants the mother and son to get help before they kill each other. Then, Kim has three sons –- 14, 2 and 15 months -- but says she loves her middle son, Cullen, the most. She has pictures of him all over her house, but not her other two sons. She takes Cullen to bed with her at night, while the baby cries himself to sleep in his own room, and she buys Cullen new clothes, while her youngest gets hand-me-downs. Her oldest son says he has felt neglected his whole life and is worried the baby will feel that way too. Kim’s friend, Starlette, says Kim’s baby has even started calling her Mama. What’s behind Kim’s favoritism, and why does she feel justified? Share your thoughts here.

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January 20, 2007, 3:59 pm CST

problem parent

The reason she treats the middle child better, is either it's not her husband or the other 2 aren't. My guess is the middle child isn't. Had a friend who did the same thing, the middle child wasn't her husbands the other 2 were and she just couldn't stand it, but yet didn't want to give up the life of being married and other guy didn't want to marry her, just the sex. So, she stayed married and died very unhappy.
 
January 20, 2007, 6:24 pm CST

Favoritism sucks anyway you slice it!

My sister has three kids, a 6 yr old girl, a 4 yr old girl and a 7 month old boy. And she favors the 4 yr old. They all three have different dads, and my sister claims to love the 4 yr olds dad and that's why it's hard for her to punish her. But that means the 6 yr old is constantly being yelled at and blamed for everything and the baby is pushed aside. He has been sick almost since birth and yet my sis seems not to care to take him to the dr. But when the 4 yr old sniffles, she runs her to the hospital. Now the 4 yr old is spoiled rotten and nobody in the family wants to take her b/c she doesn't listen and my sister can't figure out why she can't get a babysitter. All three kids are getting a raw deal b/c the 4 yr old will never learn how to deal w/ life and the other 2 will resent her. And also the other 2 will never know what it truly means to be loved by their mom.
 
January 20, 2007, 6:40 pm CST

that mom who is playing favorites need to stop

becuase that happened to me and my   dad chose my half sister over me and i'm not saying that i wanted to be his favortie but i wanted to be equal and my i helped my dad when he had his nose broken and wharen he was sick 
 
January 20, 2007, 6:53 pm CST

favoritism

I personally feel that favoritism is a bad thing in a family especially with only one parent in the home. I had to endure the same thing because I was showing favoritism to the youngest 2 children and I finally realized before it was to late t h at it was affecting my 2 older children. After I got help from my wonderful counselor, Carolyn Richardson, I started to see that they all need the same kind of love and I had to learn how to be show love to them. My babies who range from ages 16, 11, 9, 6 are my life and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
 
January 20, 2007, 6:59 pm CST

This just blows my mind

How can a mother love one child more than the other?  You are to love all of your children equally just beacuse they are your children.  It's called unconditional love.  You have it as soon as you find out you are pregnant and have it until the day you die.  What kind of a human being are you?  YOU DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE ANY OF YOUR CHILDREN.  You are going to ruin them .  The oldest and youngest will not only grow to resent you but the middle child as well for getting all of your attention.  That should make everyone happy don't you think?   Just give them to someone that will love  them all the same and support them as individuals.  Then take a parenting class (or two, or three...)  and maybe just maybe if you can get through those you can get them back. But I think all of your children deserve better then you.
 
January 20, 2007, 9:15 pm CST

What the heck!!

I am extremely angry that this woman, Kim, would allow herself to have another child.  There is a large span between the eldest and middle child but not between the middle child and the baby.  It especially annoys me that she comes right out and tells everyone that the middle child is her favorite.  I am an extreme believer in treating your children equally and if you think you have a favorite, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!!.  Do not allow the children to know that you favor one over the other as it causes extreme low self-esteem in the child that is not favored.  I just went through this with my mother-in-law last year at Christmas.  She had bought extravagent gifts for all the grandchildren except one, my daughter who is not her blood grandchild but has been in the family for all of her life.  She even favored my sister-in-law's step-son who has only been in the family for 4 year.  We had a big blow out and my husband did not see a problem with this.  I had it out with my mother-in-law after she came over and I explained to her that my daughter cried Christmas day because she felt that her 'grandmother' did not like her.  My daughter is very responsible, straight-A's, works and pays her own car insurance, gas and cell phone.  She uses all the money she gets for the Holidays for her bills and appreciates every little bit.  The other kids that were spoiled, never appreciate what they get and expect it. 

 

This is not fair for any child to be favored over anyone or anything!!!  Grow up mom!!!

 
January 20, 2007, 9:57 pm CST

AARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Why can't parents love  all their children the same? I was asked by my husbands aunt a while back which of my daughtes was my favorite, I looked at her and asked, "WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?' Both my daughters are the joy of my life, they are so differentt but yet so much alike in so many ways, Life would be sooooo lonely with out my girls, makes me wonder how I lived with out them! Parents. get a grip, ALL your children deserve love and praise, if you can't give it to them, then give them to some one who can, you owe it to them...............
 
January 20, 2007, 11:51 pm CST

it happened in my family

I am extremely angry that this woman, Kim, would allow herself to have another child.  There is a large span between the eldest and middle child but not between the middle child and the baby.  It especially annoys me that she comes right out and tells everyone that the middle child is her favorite.  I am an extreme believer in treating your children equally and if you think you have a favorite, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!!.  Do not allow the children to know that you favor one over the other as it causes extreme low self-esteem in the child that is not favored.  I just went through this with my mother-in-law last year at Christmas.  She had bought extravagent gifts for all the grandchildren except one, my daughter who is not her blood grandchild but has been in the family for all of her life.  She even favored my sister-in-law's step-son who has only been in the family for 4 year.  We had a big blow out and my husband did not see a problem with this.  I had it out with my mother-in-law after she came over and I explained to her that my daughter cried Christmas day because she felt that her 'grandmother' did not like her.  My daughter is very responsible, straight-A's, works and pays her own car insurance, gas and cell phone.  She uses all the money she gets for the Holidays for her bills and appreciates every little bit.  The other kids that were spoiled, never appreciate what they get and expect it. 

 

This is not fair for any child to be favored over anyone or anything!!!  Grow up mom!!!

 
January 21, 2007, 12:06 am CST

heart breaking

This absolutely breaks my heart. I can't imagine hearing my baby cry or just treating any of my 4 differently. I just want to cry! I'll be glad to take on a couple more, hand them over. People like this should not be allowed to have children!
 
January 21, 2007, 6:54 am CST

Mom loves 2 year old most

I do know one thing before seeing the show, she needs to stop having kids, since she loves the middle child the most. I feel bad for the oldest because if I were him, I would hate her. It's mean to say hate, but from what I've read, she has issues. The poor baby, letting him cry himself to sleep. If the 2 year old is going to keep being spoiled like he is, he's going to be a brat to his siblings. In short, she's neglecting her other 2 and needs to use her frickin common sense, if she has any (she probably doesn't).

 
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