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Topic : 06/27 Problem Parent or Problem Child?

Number of Replies: 169
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, January 19, 2007, 01:23:14 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/24/07) Do you find yourself wondering where your relationship with your child went wrong? You say it’s your child. Your child says it’s you. Who’s to blame? Dr. Phil uncovers where the problem lies in these families. Penny says her life is in shambles because her 17-year-old son, Jason, is extremely threatening and violent. Jason says his mother is a lazy alcoholic, and all he has ever wanted was to feel loved by her. Penny’s sister, Jackie, says Penny has a drinking problem and wants the mother and son to get help before they kill each other. Then, Kim has three sons –- 14, 2 and 15 months -- but says she loves her middle son, Cullen, the most. She has pictures of him all over her house, but not her other two sons. She takes Cullen to bed with her at night, while the baby cries himself to sleep in his own room, and she buys Cullen new clothes, while her youngest gets hand-me-downs. Her oldest son says he has felt neglected his whole life and is worried the baby will feel that way too. Kim’s friend, Starlette, says Kim’s baby has even started calling her Mama. What’s behind Kim’s favoritism, and why does she feel justified? Share your thoughts here.

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January 21, 2007, 6:59 am CST

OH my

See, and here I am worrying all the time about my middle daughter!  I have 3 girls, 13, 7, and 18 months. My teenager gets a lot of attention because she has started in the teen years and has a lost of just plain old teen stuff going on , the baby gets a lot of attention because she is the "baby" I worry the most about my 7 year old. It seems that middle children get sort of caught in between (well obviously not in this case) It just breaks my heart that I try to be as equal with my kids as I can be and still feel like I miss the mark, and now there is this monster of a mother that intentionally does it!  Children are going to feel neglected enough with just their own thoughts going on and their own interpretation of how mommy's time is divided without her being totally open about it. It horrifies me to have one child's picture up and not the other two. The baby doesn't even know any better and I would still NEVER isolate her either.

 
January 21, 2007, 7:19 am CST

thanks

Quote From: vonniscott

This absolutely breaks my heart. I can't imagine hearing my baby cry or just treating any of my 4 differently. I just want to cry! I'll be glad to take on a couple more, hand them over. People like this should not be allowed to have children!
It is good to see that there are Mothers that do not have a need to manipulate there children. I don't remember how old I was when I realized something was wrong with my Mother.  May she rest in peace, she thought it was the only way to keep in kids "in line".
 
January 21, 2007, 9:42 am CST

problem mom

I'm suprised your 14 year old is not always in trouble for being neglected. how can you just listen to your baby cry what if something serious was worng and you didn't check.I have 2 daughters and one have a drug problem and is wanted for non compliance and court fines she lost custody of all 3 of her children,BUT that dose not mean I love her any less and love my other daudhter any more. I love them the same,they mean the world to me.
 
January 21, 2007, 10:27 am CST

01/24 Problem Parent or Problem Child?

This is so sad what this woman is doing to her children, she is teaching such inappropriate core values.  These children will suffer if she does not begin to treat all of her children with the love, attention and respect they are ALL entitled to.  She obviously has some serious problems and needs councelling in order to help her children become all they are ment to be. 
 
January 21, 2007, 10:56 am CST

playing favorites

She's playing a dangerous game here.  That baby needs to bond with mom, because he could form an attachment disorder.   That just seems like neglect to me.  If the kid is 2, shouldn't he be sleeping in his own bed by now?  I wonder what the relationship with her spouse is like if her son is driving a wedge, literally, between them.  Is he going to have mommy sleeping with him til college?  When does it end?  I hope that baby is getting his physical needs met, because his emotional needs are going out the window!
 
January 21, 2007, 12:18 pm CST

Treating kids equally

Okay, I give up.  How, precisely, does one treat kids equally?  I raised five children totally different in likes, dislikes, talents and shortcomings.  No, I didn't treat them all the same.  That's crazy.  They had different needs.  Some were boys, some were girls... surely they should not have been treated the same! 
 
January 21, 2007, 12:38 pm CST

01/24 Problem Parent or Problem Child?

man i so would have loved to be on this show ireally need to figure out something for my 14 year old hes running outa options quickly and pretty soon im not gonna be able to help him any more lord i need an intervention and quickly                                 help!!!!!
 
January 21, 2007, 1:28 pm CST

01/24 Problem Parent or Problem Child?

Quote From: cynkcor

Okay, I give up.  How, precisely, does one treat kids equally?  I raised five children totally different in likes, dislikes, talents and shortcomings.  No, I didn't treat them all the same.  That's crazy.  They had different needs.  Some were boys, some were girls... surely they should not have been treated the same! 
you are talking about something completely different. Did you treat one kid better then the other? Did one kid get new clothes and toys while the other kids got thrift shop stuff? Did you comfort one kid and not the other? this is called favoritism and it is wrong. My girls have different personalities but the rules are the same for them. I love my girls equally, I do not love one over the other and this is exactly what the woman on the show was doing..................
 
January 21, 2007, 1:33 pm CST

01/24 Problem Parent or Problem Child?

Quote From: wootwoot

I do know one thing before seeing the show, she needs to stop having kids, since she loves the middle child the most. I feel bad for the oldest because if I were him, I would hate her. It's mean to say hate, but from what I've read, she has issues. The poor baby, letting him cry himself to sleep. If the 2 year old is going to keep being spoiled like he is, he's going to be a brat to his siblings. In short, she's neglecting her other 2 and needs to use her frickin common sense, if she has any (she probably doesn't).

The middle child will also everntually start demanding things from his mom. If things do not change, he will expect her to give him whatever he wants, he will be the one to rule the home, this happens a lot with kids who are favorites and gets whatever they want. she is most definetly ruining all her children and in the end, she is gonna be asking herself a whole lof questions. Hope she got some help and makes some changes casue if she doesn't, life isn't gonna be essy when those kids grow up.
 
January 21, 2007, 1:41 pm CST

Can't love the same

Quote From: sharen51

I'm suprised your 14 year old is not always in trouble for being neglected. how can you just listen to your baby cry what if something serious was worng and you didn't check.I have 2 daughters and one have a drug problem and is wanted for non compliance and court fines she lost custody of all 3 of her children,BUT that dose not mean I love her any less and love my other daudhter any more. I love them the same,they mean the world to me.
Have you ever loved 2 "different" people the same?  You can love each of them with all your mind, body, and soul.  However, just as people (our children) are very different - so is our love for each individual.
 
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