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Topic : 08/15 Rude and Crude People

Number of Replies: 258
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, January 19, 2007, 01:28:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/25/07) Have you had it with a rude and crude relative or friend? Or do people incorrectly label you as one? Sisters Alex and Melissa say they can't understand why people perceive them as arrogant snobs. According to them, they are just confident models, and "Plain Janes” misinterpret their actions and are threatened by them. They say they want to change their ways, but when Dr. Phil puts them to the test, will they accept the challenge? Then, Jennifer says her husband of three years, Billy, is the crudest of them all. He wears t-shirts with obscene language, calls his wife names and teaches their kids to swear. She says his behavior has grown so bad that if he doesn’t change, she’s going to walk out the door. Why does Billy say it's all Jennifer's fault? Can Billy learn to clean up his act to save his marriage? Tell us what you think.

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January 25, 2007, 7:11 am CST

Isn't it sad

Isn't it sad that Alex and Melissa have built there whole personality around "I'm so pretty".  Looks fade, and nothing is ever guaranteed.  What would happen if one of these young ladies were in an car accident that destroyed there looks, or what if they developed breast cancer and had to have a mastectomy, would they be able to rally around and say I'm not pretty but I'm still a wonderful, productive human being or would go into the preverbally cave and hide?  What if someday the scientist that discoved the cure for AIDS or cancer, was overweight or had bucked teeth? would the world really care that they were not "beautiful"?  I have lots of self confidence but it isn't because I'm gorgeous or have a slim figure.  I am confident because I have lots of true friends, my husband and my children love me, and I am a success in my chosen profession.
 
January 25, 2007, 7:14 am CST

01/25 Rude and Crude People

Quote From: juliebgg

Your message made me laugh!  But seriously, you raise a good point. If parents would hold tight to their own purse strings and let the gravy train park itself in the freight yard, may be there would be less attitude and sense of entitlement floating around. Let their teenagers  earn their fancy handbags and designer clothes. (What?? I have to WORK for these things???) And as far as the fresh mouths go, I would not tolerate it for one second.  But how many times in the stores do  you hear teenage girls talking nasty to their mothers and they just allow it.  Usually the spoiled brat is whining because she wants Mommy to buy her something. And lots of times they wear Mommy down until she gives in.

 

To the parents who ARE teaching their kids manners and who teach their children to save up for things they want or to get a job to help pay for them...you are doing a great job...congratulations! 

I agree totally. But how a child behaves in public is a direct reflection on their upbringing. If they behave like a spoiled brat then mom and dad have given that child their way of belonging in this world. My question to the parents that allow this is what is going to happen to your precious child when you are no longer around to cater to their every whim. I lost both my parents before I turned 30 and at least they left me knowing how to survive in this cold cruel world. My husband lost his mom before he was 15 and his father was in prison. So he had to care for himself by himself. You see death can happen at any age you are not protected just because you are young. If your child is a spoiled rotten brat how do you think they will survive without someone helping them along the way. If you are rich would you trust that child to run your company for a day?
 
January 25, 2007, 7:17 am CST

I am Jennifer the WIfe that was on this show

The show airs today and I am worried. We have been going to our counseling but I have yet to see a huge change and in some ways things have been going down hill quite quickly. I am open to any advice that anyone is willing to share. How do you get out of a situation like this???
 
January 25, 2007, 7:19 am CST

It needs to START at home

Quote From: juliebgg

I agree with you about people pushing by you without saying "excuse me" and more often than not people don't say "thank you 'for a simple gesture like holding a door open.  i find that woman and children are like this just as often as men.  People seem to have a sense of entitlement-that it is their right to have a door held open for them and that they don't need to show any gratitude.  Add to the list the people who shout into their cell phones at restaurants, people who block aisles and doorways in the stores, rudeness from customer service people on the phone.  The list goes on and on.

 

I teach young children, and I can see where the rudeness starts.  Many parents don't teach basic consideration and manners to their kids. Rare is the child that says "please' and " thank you".  I do try to teach the kids in my class to say "please' and "thank you", but unless it is reinforced by parents it won't stick.  Kids are also very spoiled and self-centered. There is such a prevailing "me me me" attitude even with very young children. Materialism starts real young.  Girls with Coach bags are getting younger and younger, and they put others down who don't have these things.  Parents, do any of you see yourselves here? If I got even one person to think about teaching their kids some manners, then today was a good day!

I see kids becoming more self-centered than ever before. I used to hear about how self-esteem was missing in girls. Now I think we've gone too far the other way. I also see girls being extremely mean to other girls if they don't look a certain way or dress a certain way. And I see boys who cannot mutter hello or speak to adults at all. I have step children and my husband does a poor job of training his kids to be respectful and kind to others. They have a high sense of entitlement without having to earn or even saying thank you. And they rarely give of themselves to others. They have poor manners at dinner and they rush through doors ahead of adults. I can't stand the way they talk back to their dad and he just lets them. I see their friends doing the same thing. They judge each other by what kind of car your dad drives and they are very focused on what kind of house you live in and what kind of job your dad has. Some brag about their dad's salary.Why would a kid even be told what his dad's salary is? Isn't that private? I really worry what our world is going to be like in ten years when all these kids are out in the working world. Can you imagine how it would be to have to work with these pretentious and self-centered manipulating people? Does anyone think that maybe the results of broken families has sparked this change in our culture? I think the main reason parents try to be friends instead of parents comes from the guilt thay have from ruining their kids family lives. And when they compete for the kids love and loyalty with an ex, it teaches the kids to play by the game to get what they want. But the rudenes from our youth doesn't just come from kids from broken families. So, how has it prevailed among their peers? It is sad that our culture is declining in this way. I'd love to hear more about some positive things in our world.
 
January 25, 2007, 7:32 am CST

What's so great about these girls?

By what I see on the pictures, these girls look like average ordinary girls. Maybe they are pretty, but there are a lot of pretty people in the world. They never heard that beauty is only skin deep I guess. Real beauty come from the inside and what I see of their hearts is not so pretty. I think we need to be reminded to judge people by the content of their character and not by their external appearances. Beauty is also fading. These girls will have a hard time adjusting to life as their faces wrinkle and their breasts sag. Then what will they have to be proud of? Maybe they plan on cosmetic surgery to solve that problem. There is so much more to live for than your appearance. My advice to both of them, invest more of your energy in others and see what real beauty the world can show you instead of focusing on yourselves and the immediate perimeter of your existence.
 
January 25, 2007, 7:36 am CST

01/25 Rude and Crude People

For whatever reason, Billy's emotional maturity got stunted at about the age of 13.  He may have the body of a full grown man, but he's just a silly little boy.  People like this are why I wish we needed to go thru some kind of screening process to become parents. 

 

 

 
January 25, 2007, 7:45 am CST

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!!

  I hope you both go home and read this message board!!  I hope the CPS comes to your home and takes those precious kids aways from you both!!  As a mother you should have kicked him out LONG AGO!!  Could you be any more of an embarassment to parents all across the world...?  GET HELP........The mother sits there and crys..why are u not doing something???  GET HIM OUT.  BILLY is a complete idiot and he makes me sick.
 
January 25, 2007, 7:47 am CST

01/25 Rude and Crude People

 WE ARE THE ADULTS, HAVE SOME SELF CONTROL!!! Control your tongue and your actions !!  If you don't show respect for others, you will never feel respect for yourself. 

         I specifically want to address what the teacher said about the media and girls. The teacher  knows many parents do not want to take any responsibility for their kids behavior. Many of the kids are being raised by TV and video games !!... I watch little girls in the mall go into victoria's secret to buy undergarments , 8th grade girls ( and younger), do not have jobs or cars therefor they must be getting some parental  help in the quest to sexualize themselves.  Tell your kids NO !    I find that I have to make my daughter's clothes or buy the larger size with the adjustable waist  so find a modest fit. This is the start of a good self image... teach our kids to base their self worth on who they are inside, how they treat others and their acomplishments. We all must have boundaries, with what society tries to push on us as well as with other people in our lives.  We must all accecpt our personal responsibility to control our minds, actions, and media input into our homes. Stand up and have a backbone !!

 
January 25, 2007, 8:05 am CST

Rude and Pretty

These girls that are physically pretty/beautiful but have an ugly spirit are not that pretty at all.  I'd note Alex and Melissa as arrogant and full of themselves, not to mention snobby, in a heartbeat based on their actions.  Females have been taught to be fiercely competitive and vicious, to run over everybody else to get their way, from school-age and up.  When they turn out to be the arrogant ones that treat everyone else coldly because "Oh, I am so much prettier than you are", it makes for those they put down to hate them, not like them.  Who wants to be friends with a person that treats them like dirt because he/she thinks "I'm better than you are!"? 

 

All the ladies out there that have this attitude of "I'm gorgeous and I know it!"-please take a minute to think about how your actions impact others.  Superiority doesn't always get you what you want, because it's not always going to make you the center of attention, or to be the best looking.  Looks are not all that matters. 

 
January 25, 2007, 8:13 am CST

The sisters and The Husband

Personally I have dealt with girls like the sisters in the past. Granted I've been out of High School for 4 years now I remember being treated badly because I wasn't "Pretty Enough" or I didn't have "enough" money. It amazes me how people can act that way and I still don't really understand it to this day. I think when you have a good spirit and personality it shows, but when you don't that also shows and that's what makes people think that they are Stuck UP.
      And as far as the husband that teaches his kids profanity, that makes me sick. I remember the first time my 2 1/2 year old ever said a cuss word, i was so mad because one of my friends had actually said it and he had repeated it. I told my son that we don't say words like that and if he did it again there would be a time out. When he repeated it I put him in time out and he hasn't said it since. And as for my friend I told him that he really needed to watch his language around my son and since then he has become more respectful in watching his lanuage.
 
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