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Topic : 01/26 Bullies

Number of Replies: 388
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Created on : Friday, January 19, 2007, 01:29:59 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Bullying has been making front page news and causing outrage across the country. It’s a dangerous trend that has grown out of control. Dr. Phil plays a disturbing video that has been broadcast all over the Internet and news. Three high school girls brutally pummel a young girl while a video camera captures every slap, punch and horrifying kick. Steve Levy, the Suffolk County Executive, joins Dr. Phil via satellite, to discuss the vicious attack. Then, Natasha is a 15-year-old bully who admits that she has no problem pushing, hitting and cursing out any student who doesn’t do what she says. Natasha faces off with Sarah and Dory, two girls she continually taunts at school every day. Will Sarah and Dory retaliate by resorting to “mean girl” behavior, or will all three come to a compromise? And, Dr. Phil’s son, Jay, has an empowering message for the teens. Plus, the school principal and the parents of Natasha, Sarah and Dory weigh in. Have you been the victim of a bully? Share your story here.

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January 23, 2007, 2:17 pm CST

01/26 Bullies

I was also bullied part of elementary and all thru middle school. I was a very shy and introverted girl and that set me up as "easy pickings."  My dad enrolled me in karate lessons in the 7th grade. Taking martial arts boosted my self confidence, taught me simple yet effective moves at disabling a person by Striking pressure points, joint manipulation..etc 

    After 2  yrs of dedicated training, it finally paid off. One day while walking to the convenient store to buy some eggs for my mom, I came into contact w/ 2 female bullies. They did their usual name calling, surrounded me. But instead of hanging my head in shame, and taking the name calling, shoving, things thrown at me. I put down the eggs, and did a "knifehand strike" to the side of her neck where it meets the shoulder.

 

    It hits the bundle of nerves there, it is extrememly painful and she dropped to the ground howling. I then drove my knee into her ribs. The other girl just stared at me in disbelief. I walked home and they never bothered me again. Sometimes putting the bully in their place is the only way. 

 
January 23, 2007, 2:20 pm CST

stopping a bully

I was also bullied part of elementary and all thru middle school. I was a very shy and introverted girl and that set me up as "easy pickings."  My dad found out and at first I denied it cause I was too embarassed, he enrolled me in karate lessons. Taking martial arts boosted my self confidence, taught me simple yet effective moves at disabling a person by Striking pressure points, joint manipulation..etc 

    After 2 1/2 yrs of dedicated training, it finally paid off. One day while walking to the convenient store to buy some eggs for my mom, I came into contact w/ 2 female bullies. They did their usual name calling, surrounded me. But instead of hanging my head in shame, and taking the name calling, shoving, things thrown at me. I put down the eggs, and did a "knifehand strike" to the side of her neck where it meets the shoulder.

 

    It hits the bundle of nerves there, extrememly painful and she dropped to the ground howling. I then dropped to the ground driving my knee into her ribs. The other girl just stared at me in disbelief. I walked home and they never bothered me again. Sometimes putting the bully in their place is the only way. 

 
January 23, 2007, 8:18 pm CST

Bullies may have a silver lining

  I was bullied at school too, although I wasn't obese, and didn't wear glasses, nor was I a nerd, I simply had red hair.  Children will prey on whoever is different to the norm, but there is a silver lining to be found.

  School is primarily a "social" education, where we learn how to interact with society, both the good "and" bad elements.  It is there that we learn how to handle bullies, either by learning to fight, by learning to ignore or by becoming one of them ourselves.

  School tends to be milder and more forgiving than adult life (although it is very hard to believe that at the time), so it is in this testing ground that we learn to stand up for ourselves and those we call friends, or to betray them.  In these situations is where we make our first lifelong friends, or lose them forever, depending on the choices we make.

  I will not defend bullying, but it is when we have to fight, and possibly lose, for what we believe is right or the people we care about, that we truly understand its value, and the bullies provide that opportunity.

  There was a young boy on Dr. Phil a while ago who was terrified of the bullies that constantly harrassed him, but when his friend was attacked by those same bullies he didn't pause, he faught.  Damn!  I wanted to tell him right then that he just passed the grade and became a man, a "good" man.

  It's not the fear that makes your knees shake that makes you a coward, it's the fear that stops you from doing what you know is right!

 If you have ever stood against the crowd to defend your girl/boyfriend and found that it later developed into something greater and stronger, you will understand my thoughts.

  Bullies are a bad thing in today's society, but they do have their uses.  They can be used as a greater social education than any school can knowingly apply, and as so many people pointed out, they don't stop after school finishes.

 

  Steel

 
January 24, 2007, 5:17 am CST

01/26 Bullies

Quote From: loishobart

with all the prospects of what's coming next week, there's no mention of DONALD TRUMP?  how can he be overlooked when his persona could be applicable to 3/5 of the shows?  perhaps devoting an entire week to him?  oh, sorry - that might affect the viewer percentages!!   surely, a good topic, however, of "HOW COME he can get away with being so full of bluster and take himself so seriously"?   and what IS with the whole "emperor's new clothes" deal with his hair?  does NO one in his realm have the nerve to tell him the truth?   where are the "what not to wear" folks?

OK two things here

 

First this can be and will be sen by some as "Bullying"

 

and

 

Your right in the fact that Mr Trump should be examined in this context

but that also proves why this behavior is becoming rampant

 

Too many public figures behave badly

 
January 24, 2007, 7:19 am CST

I WAS BULLIED ALL THE TIME

hey people in year 2 till year 5 i was being bullied by a girl in my school now i am in year seven :D any ways that girl used to treat me as if am her maid she used to swear at me and she used to put my head in the bath tub if i dont give her money or do her home work. after that i got sick of that and we made it into a humunges fight and surprisly all the year 4 people who she used to bully them stood with me and we acctuaally made her lern a lesson after this year she went out of school WE ALL OF US  never saw her face again spoo my advice stand up for yourself any how many times you fail u have too defend yourself from bullies trust me
 
January 24, 2007, 7:36 am CST

Why a bully? Look to Mom and Dad !

Parents create bullies.

 

Our two children couldn't/wouldn't even THINK about treating another human being that way. They have both ALWAYS stuck up for undedogs. They are kind, helpful, loving and accepting. My husband and I have spent much time devoted to leading them by example and discussing appropriate and inappropriate behaviors (and WHY they are such). and, yes, in church as a family each Sunday we learn about Jesus and how He treated others (and what he expects from us).

 

Our son is in the 1st grade in private school. Social groups are already starting to form. One boy, whose family has no more money than we do (upper middle class), but who has parents who only speak with those with power, $$$ and/or influence, has decided to pick on others.

 

For two weeks, our son was his target. He laughed at our son's looks, he told other kids not to play with our son and he made sure our son knew he was one of only a few boys not invited to his big birthday party (after he came to my son's party last summer). Our ALWAYS happy, friendly and smiling son started to want to stay home from school each morning. He talked about his "ugly looks" often. He kept asking why this boy was being so mean. He simply couldn't understand what HE had done wrong (we discussed how the victim is not to blame).

 

Anyway, we made some simple changes. Our son had always wanted to pick out his own hair style and clothing, so we gave him a shopping spree one weekend (at Wal-mart:) and took him to a hair stylist. That's ALL it took. He loves his new "look" and he started standing up to this cruel little 6-yr-old bully. It also helped that he got the bully's best friend on his side (he plays against him in chess and had him over for a playdate).

 

The bully has moved on to greener pastures for unknown reasons. I've notified the school about what WE went thru (apparently the kid and his siblings have reputations for being mean) and we will continue to talk w/ our son about how TO TREAT OTHERS (especially now that he's felt how it is to be mistreated).

 

Bullies don't just pop out of the sky. Bullies are bread. They are nurtured. They are supported. They're allowed to be the way they are. The blame (and resposiblity) belongs with the parents and with any school administration that does nothing to stop the bully!

 
January 24, 2007, 7:37 am CST

Terrible to deal with...

It seems like bullying is rampant. I declare I think almost every parent has had to deal with it. I know my sister and I did at different times. With the both of us, the school principal(in her case), and a great teacher(in my case) ,school staff were very helpful. I can still remember the absolute anguish I felt when my daughter came home from middle school and told me about this girl who had made some terrible threats. I called the Team teacher and talked to her about it. She promised me that she would take immediate action. She said that she believed in "nipping it in the bud." She talked to the girl and it immediately got better . I decided to worm my way into getting to know the girl. ( Offering rides to football games etc...) While she and my daughter were never good friends, I wanted her to know that my daughter had a mom that was in the picture. It somehow made a difference. I never did know the whole story, but this girl had a court appointed guardian while living with a parent. I felt that somehow her life was a little screwed up. I did the same thing with my son. He didn't necessarily have trouble with a bully, but there was a boy in his class who was known for bullying from kindergarten -middle school.(small school-same kids same class 1-5 grades) I went to school activities during the day. I always made it a point to speak to this little boy and got to know him. My son said the boy's behavior improved in high school. I know a little about his parents and his dad is known to be a bullie also. From reading the posts on this topic, it sounds like the best thing to do is to get involved. Sometimes just the fact that an adult injects themselves into the picture helps. I realize that is not always the case. You parents hang in there and just keep on keepin' on!
 
January 24, 2007, 7:40 am CST

Selective, aren't you?

Quote From: loishobart

with all the prospects of what's coming next week, there's no mention of DONALD TRUMP?  how can he be overlooked when his persona could be applicable to 3/5 of the shows?  perhaps devoting an entire week to him?  oh, sorry - that might affect the viewer percentages!!   surely, a good topic, however, of "HOW COME he can get away with being so full of bluster and take himself so seriously"?   and what IS with the whole "emperor's new clothes" deal with his hair?  does NO one in his realm have the nerve to tell him the truth?   where are the "what not to wear" folks?

Funny, but I find him no more of a bully than Rosie. She throws unfair punches and then ducks and hides. Why is there a double standard?

.

And why do you talk about a man's hair? Are you shallow? Are you a bully? Do you feel the need to talk about someone's physical characterists? Now I know why you didn't include Rosie on the bully list, Shame on you!

.

Either you detest ALL BULLYING or you don't. You can't pick and choose which bully is acceptable when EACH IS WRONG. It's never acceptable!!!

 
January 24, 2007, 7:45 am CST

You're dad was very smart

Quote From: gwarrior6

I used to get picked on all the time on the bus during middle school (the worst time of my childhood), and got my glasses knocked off of my face by this girl.  My father filed a police report on her for harrassment, and now she has a permanent record.   She was old enough to get consequences for her actions when her parents wouldn't do anything.  Let the other parents know (if you have a bullied kid) that their kid is bullying yours and if they don't do anything about it YOU will!

As a certified high school teacher, I can tell you that I wish MORE PARENTS would file police reports on incidents that happen on school grounds (outside, inside, on school busses, etc). If school administrators won't help you (or say they can't help you), call the police and insist a report is filed. If you can't afford an atty to prosecute (if the district atty refuses to), file in small claims court.


If more parents would stop allowing poor adminstrators to do NOTHING (when a child has been physically wronged), the number of instances of bullying would drop. Did you notice that more and more teachers are filing suit against students who attacked them, etc? THAT IS WHAT IT WILLTAKE FOR THINGS TO CHANGE.

 

Congrats to your dad. He had some foresight and common sense. Once a bully is allowed to get away with his/her actions, he'll continue to create more victims.

 
January 24, 2007, 7:46 am CST

Don't beat the teacher:)

Just posted "You're dad was smart." That should have been "YOUR dad was smart." I type too fast and obviously don't proofread. Oops!
 
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