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Topic : 07/18 Fatal Attraction?

Number of Replies: 171
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Created on : Friday, January 26, 2007, 01:51:56 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/29/07) Everyone wants to be loved, but what happens when being the object of someone's affection turns creepy or even fatal? Celebrities are not the only targets – stalkers can be found in any neighborhood and town. Michelle says her ex-boyfriend, Melvin, is obsessed with her, and she fears for her life. Melvin admits he constantly thinks about Michelle and can't live without her in his life, but he says he gets mixed messages from her. Find out the extremes Melvin has gone to in his relationship with Michelle, and why his actions prevented him from coming to Los Angeles for the taping of the show. And, why does Dr. Phil tell Michelle she's playing with fire? Then, Katrina has been infatuated with rap star, Jay-Z, for the last three years. She sends him 200 e-mails a day, has called him over 300 times and has even tried to befriend his best friend and sister. She is convinced that if Jay-Z met her, he would want to be with her, but is she willing to risk jail time just to get close to him? And, meet a Hollywood actress who was stalked on the big screen … and then in real life. Why does she fear her stalker may strike again? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 29, 2007, 1:06 pm CST

Being stalked

I am being stalked by cell phone, for a year now I have been stalked by the person calling my cell phone day and night , I have changed my cell phone number and a week later who ever is stalking me started calling me I have no idea how they found out my new cell phone number because I gave it to NO one but they did and they have been calling day and night to my cell phone, it has gotton so bad I now keep my cell phone shut off unless I go out then when I get home I shut it off again. someone please help me what can I do I cannot seem to get any help.
 
January 29, 2007, 1:12 pm CST

What about the guys Dr.Phil

My son is 22 years old.  He has dated this girl for 5 years, and broke up now for 5 months.  The girl on your show, Michelle, is my son.  This girl will find him out with his friends and attack him (physically).  All he can do is run to his car and leave. Everytime he has tried to call the cops he gets ignored.  Only one time was he able to get a temp. restraining order against her.  She called him up and laughed at him and that she was going to tell all his buddies that he's scared of a girl. She played this up to the max.  He has changed his cell phone three times and she gets the number.  She rides by our house all hours of the night.. Dr.Phil I am scared for him. I am so scared she is going to kill him. My son has a learning disability (ADD, OCD, dyslexia) She has conned him into believeing everything she says. He has even had sex with her to make her stop tormenting him.  He thinks if he stays friends she won't harm him.  We can't get through to him to make him stay away from her, but he says it just gets worse if he ignores her.  She keeps his two dogs because we can't have them where we live. She has called him and say she was holding the dogs nose until she passed out becasue my son had been ignoring her.  She kicks and pinches them. She just found out he was dating someone and now one of his dogs are missing.  We can't prove anything, but we are hearing rumors he is dead and she did it.  This girl can bring on a tear at the drop of a hat and then turn pure evil.  She has told me, I'm his mom, that she is gonna skin me when she catches me out.  The cops wont do anything.  PLEASE tell me what I can do to help him and to stop her.  For his life, we need help!!!!          
 
January 29, 2007, 1:12 pm CST

01/29 Fatal Attraction?

Quote From: littlecountry

  There is a police officer where I live that drives me CRAZY. All I want to do is BE FRIENDS! He wants more! He goes to my neighbors and tells them how much he wants me and he just can't seem to get me out of his  mind. I have not sent him mixed messages or anything else. I try not to answer my phone or my door now unless I know who is there. He comes on at 2 in the afternoon and I try NOT to go outside of my house due to the fact if he sees me, he will pull up in my yard and talk for 2-3 hours! Our small town is paying him to talk to me and my neighbors for sitting in or at our house for nearly 5 hours a day, talking. I do not want to go to the cheif of police because he will not and can not keep his mouth SHUT!!!! I am also afraid this man will retalleate and start giving my kids and family trumped up tickets. I don't want any trouble and have only told one sister about this. She says to  ignore him but that is not easy and she DOES NOT understand. He goes up and down my  street like what seems like a hundred times constantly! I do not feel fear of him but rather bothered by him. I like the man as a friend ONLY but I am begining to not even want him to be a friend.

  One of my daughters has decided I need someone and since heis NOT married and has some money, he is the one. My neighbors seem to think so too. I have told them that he is not the kind of man I want. He is nice and kind but there is NOTHING THERE and I want all of them to tend to their own business and I want him to LEAVE ME ALONE! He is 60 and I will be 54 in March.  I mafde a HUGE mistake and went out to eat with him ONE time because everyone begged me to. Now I cant shake him loose. ANY suggestions?

Have you had a talk with him - you know - the "I just want to be friends" talk?  If you did then you have to stop chatting to him - spending 2-3 hours chatting with him can easily be mis-interpreted by him and even others - cool but friendly - 'hello, how's it going ,have to go now bye'.

 

Then if that doesn't work start tracking/documenting how often he 'happens' to be on your street and then find the town's lawyer - whoever handles their corporate business - Town Clerk should be able to give you name.  And then go talk to them - the last thing the legal reps want is a case against the Town for sexual harrassment or stalking and then let them handle it - the police captain will first try and protect his guy especially as he's probably pretty close to retirement.

 

I've been where you are - you are too nice and don't want to have this problem - but being nice or even over-polite just doesn't get the message through - but do give it one shot at being straightforward - maybe he just needs to hear the words.  And well, its not like men are real great at getting the 'subtle' message of you not being available or not answering phones, etc.!

 
January 29, 2007, 1:16 pm CST

You are 100% right

Quote From: olddiane

She did NOT come on your show to get help.  Hello! She thinks JayZ will see her on the show and fall madly in love with her.  You missed the boat on this one.  You can see with every warning you give her, her eyes are darting all over.  when the Procescuter tried to talk sense to her, she told the prosecutor that JayZ will not marry Bionce', then turned to you and said she would agree to get counseling.  She has NOT admitted what she is doing is wrong, because she is seeing herself on TV and is waiting for a response.  You know it's true. 
Like she said on the show, "IF he seen me he would not want her" You are so right all he did was feed her illness.  Now she had the chance to show him (in her mind) what SHE looks like. I'm sure thinks she just sealed the deal and he will be calling.  Not weel enough to understand she scares him and she would be the last thing he wanted.
 
January 29, 2007, 1:20 pm CST

01/29 Fatal Attraction?

Quote From: yolandar

I am being stalked by cell phone, for a year now I have been stalked by the person calling my cell phone day and night , I have changed my cell phone number and a week later who ever is stalking me started calling me I have no idea how they found out my new cell phone number because I gave it to NO one but they did and they have been calling day and night to my cell phone, it has gotton so bad I now keep my cell phone shut off unless I go out then when I get home I shut it off again. someone please help me what can I do I cannot seem to get any help.
does the number turn up on caller-id when they call you? And is your phone programmed to not show your number when you call someone??  Other than having a contact at the phone company the person is probably getting it even secretly from someone or somewhere you are calling each time you get a new number.  If the person's number does turn up on your caller ID then contact the police and the phone company - there are laws about using phones to stalk - if its a landline phone then he can be fined by the company itself.
 
January 29, 2007, 1:29 pm CST

01/29 Fatal Attraction?

Quote From: dls1963

My son is 22 years old.  He has dated this girl for 5 years, and broke up now for 5 months.  The girl on your show, Michelle, is my son.  This girl will find him out with his friends and attack him (physically).  All he can do is run to his car and leave. Everytime he has tried to call the cops he gets ignored.  Only one time was he able to get a temp. restraining order against her.  She called him up and laughed at him and that she was going to tell all his buddies that he's scared of a girl. She played this up to the max.  He has changed his cell phone three times and she gets the number.  She rides by our house all hours of the night.. Dr.Phil I am scared for him. I am so scared she is going to kill him. My son has a learning disability (ADD, OCD, dyslexia) She has conned him into believeing everything she says. He has even had sex with her to make her stop tormenting him.  He thinks if he stays friends she won't harm him.  We can't get through to him to make him stay away from her, but he says it just gets worse if he ignores her.  She keeps his two dogs because we can't have them where we live. She has called him and say she was holding the dogs nose until she passed out becasue my son had been ignoring her.  She kicks and pinches them. She just found out he was dating someone and now one of his dogs are missing.  We can't prove anything, but we are hearing rumors he is dead and she did it.  This girl can bring on a tear at the drop of a hat and then turn pure evil.  She has told me, I'm his mom, that she is gonna skin me when she catches me out.  The cops wont do anything.  PLEASE tell me what I can do to help him and to stop her.  For his life, we need help!!!!          

The cops usually do side with the woman cause usually that's who needs the help - BUT - they also see that you and he have an on-going relationship with this girl and she is caring for his dogs as well cause you can't have them whereyou live- HEL-LO ???

 

You and he have to both track her calls - keep a log of when and what time and how often she calls you and him -- and get your some some therapy - he probably has low-self-esteem and poor self-confidence. That's usually the problem when people let themselves get stalked.

 
January 29, 2007, 1:54 pm CST

Fatal Attraction

This was a good show, Most  of the men that become obsessed  are control freaks. This past year in Dec.My youngest daughter was attacked brutally by the man that said he loved her. she received 15 stitches, and suffered a concussion from this attack. We (The  parents) have her out of town with one of her sisters. These young women need to learn that LOVE DOES NOT HURT. If it hurts it's not love
 
January 29, 2007, 1:57 pm CST

Celebrity Stalking?

Would sending a birthday present to your favorite celebrity every year be considered stalking.  If you don't try to contact the celebrity at all, but on their birthday you send a gift do you think there is a problem with that.  I have met this celebrity on a few occassions and they were very kind, after the last meeting, around 5 years ago I have been sending a birthday present each year.  Just something simple with a little note on how I have enjoyed whatever project that had out during the year.  I have not seen this celebrity in person, it just happened that I saw them a good number of times up until five years ago and then only from a distance in the last three years, but I send a gift and a card each year.  I thought this was a nice gesture until I saw the show today, now I'm concerned that they might think I'm crazy.  I don't know if I should not send anything else, what do you guys think.
 
January 29, 2007, 1:59 pm CST

coopjake

Quote From: coopjake

I discovered I was being stalked last spring by a man I had never met.

 

I go downtown to the federal building every weekday morning to get my business' mail from the post office box.  Driving back uptown to my office I always noticed an older man (learned he is 62) that would always pull beside me at a particular stop light.  At first it seemed to be a coincidence, didn't really strike me as unusual.  And then after a couple of months of this he started to follow me uptown but always proceeded on once I turned off at my block.  Then after another month of this I noticed that he would circle the federal building until I came back out and got into my car.  This struck me as odd but again I ignored him and went about my day.

 

Eventually after another month of this behavior I found him not only following me up the hill but turning just a block later than I turn and circling my office.  Needless to say this scared me a great deal since I run a marketing office and work mostly alone or occasionally with one other person in the office. 

 

So I turned the tables on this guy.  I changed my time schedule to be just 15 minutes earlier in the morning and I was the one who circled the federal building, waiting to see his car.  I then followed him and got his license plate number.  Obviously he noticed.

 

The next day again, he was there but now in a different car, so again I followed him, at a distance of course, and took this license plate number.  I took both license plate numbers and called my friend, the lieutenant of the detectives for the local police, and had him run the numbers. 

 

My friend then called me and asked if some detectives could follow me the next couple of days to establish a pattern of behavior for this guy........which they did.  My detective friend called me after the second day and said they were going to stop him the next day and "talk" to him, to see why he was following me.  So the next day I went about my business as usual not noticing any detectives around the federal building but then I guess they shouldn't be obvious to the untrained eye. 

 

About an hour after I arrived at work, two HUGE, young detectives arrived to tell me about their discussion.  Evidently this guy would take people to the west side of town early in the morning and he was supposed to take them back home later in the morning....don't' know why, don't care why.  He was using me to occupy his time in between.  He didn't even realize he was doing anything wrong from what the detectives told me.  But they did say they had scared the bejeezus out of him and doubted that I would see him again down town.  They also told him if he was ever within 500 yards of me or my office they would arrest him for stalking.  Needless to say I've never seen him again.

 

But I can't tell you how this affected me.  I find myself looking over my shoulder for no reason and altering my schedule so I no longer do things at the same time every day.  It's funny how it's so easy to learn someone's schedule with so little effort.  I now try to take notice of people around me and I always look them straight in the eye when I pass them on the street.  I want them to know that I'm aware that they are there.  This man invaded my life without invitation or purpose.  He made me feel vulnerable and scared and I don't like it one bit.  Not one day goes by that I don't think about what could have happened if I hadn't noticed his behavior and had it stopped.  Maybe he was harmless, but then again maybe he wasn't.

 

These stalkers need to understand that they have no right to amuse themselves at someone else's expense.  Melvin and Katrina are uninvited and unwanted and should be stopped.  This is a crime that permeates every minute of the victim's life and it's cruel. 

 

Thanks for sharing your story!! 

 

Best wishes.

 

ssoganty

 

 

 
January 29, 2007, 2:09 pm CST

Katrina was there for 'exposure'!

Quote From: dls1963

Like she said on the show, "IF he seen me he would not want her" You are so right all he did was feed her illness.  Now she had the chance to show him (in her mind) what SHE looks like. I'm sure thinks she just sealed the deal and he will be calling.  Not weel enough to understand she scares him and she would be the last thing he wanted.

I agree with you and Diane.  I was thinking the same thing when Dr. Phil asked her something to the effect of, was she there to defend her position or there to get help?  I think she was there for the exposure.  I really hope the prosecutor's comments shook some sense into her, but I'm thinking that, unfortunately and more than likely, she feels like if this rapper star sees her, he'll perceive her as a lady in distress and fall madly in love with her.  Not gonna happen.

 

Katrina is a beautiful girl and I'll bet there are a lot of guys in her life who would like to ask her out ~ nice guys she probably ignores in pursuit of this phantom.  I hope she winds up getting her help outside of a jail cell rather than inside!

 
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