Topic : 07/03 Big Love

 I hate to break it to you but the person is a part of the wrapper.

 As long as you're not rude to us, you can think whatever you want, and the only person you're torturing is yourself. For instance, as an English teacher, I could let myself be bothered by people who can't spell "disgusting"--but I'd only be making message-boards and other online venues unpleasant for myself.

Hello all my name is sharon and  i married a big guy and i only weight 125lbs. soak and wet and the guy that judge fat people have to understand that fat people need love too an he's know beauty queen to be setting up there and judging people. An as for the other twin you go boy because you love who you love and the heart do not lie and have control oover who your heart love.You know that more people are more concern about the person being fat then the person them self so should we love less just because someone is a little  more heavy then you.

 "A person is part of the wrapper" doesn't make sense. If you mean "the wrapper is part of the person," then I actually agree. I think Dr. Phil is wrong when he said on the show that being attracted to someone sexually for a physical trait is being shallow. I've learned over the years that no one can argue with physical taste in sexual attraction. If someoen doesn't like fat men, or skinny women, or tall brunettes of either sex, that's kind of like not liking chocolate, vanilla, or pistachio. Fortunately for me, a sassy fat woman, enough men do like fat women for me to be more than happy. However, everyoen derserves respect. That's different from choosing a sex partner. I'm glad Dr. Phil made that point.

 Even if I could be slender and I choose to be fat, why is that an excuse to be rude to me or call me "nasty"?

In fact, it's not that easy. Look at how many people really try hard, lose weight, but regain it. The only kind of person I will even listen to about weight-loss is someone who has lost over 60 lbs. and kept it off for over five years. Such people do exist, and I admire them. But you know what? They're generally not the people saying that fat people are lazy and sloppy.

This show does prove that not all men desire skinny women.  People in general have this idea that because your thin that you are healthy.  Look at the problem we have with anorexia and other eating disorders.  THEY AREN'T HEALTHY!  Society has pushed everyone to think that if your not thin, your not attractive or liked.  Over weight people are people, they have feelings and just because they look different why does anyone have the right to judge?  I personally don't like a lot of thin people because they have no personality or brains.  I think there are a lot of skinny attractive people who think that they can get by in this world solely on their looks. They look down on other people and they think they have been given the right to judge because they are thin.  I think that if someone is happy with themselves and content to be over weight, they have chosen that life for themselves.  Unless your completely sheltered, we all know the health risks to being over weight and having someone badger you because of your looks is not going to motivate you to lose weight.  Dr. Phil recognizes the health risks involved with these individuals but also realizes that they are people.  I have more respect for a person who is heavy and confident with themselves.   We also have to remember that back in the 1800's women who were bigger were considered beautiful.  It just goes to prove that society has changed and the media/advertising medium have dictated to us as whole what is beautiful.   I have a brother who is excessively over weight.  I love him for who he is but wish he would lose some weight so that he would be healthier.  I want him to be around for a long time.  I have no right to judge him because I'm anything but skinny.  But I am concerned about his health and I really do want him to be around for a while!   I see both sides of the equation but I do not desire to be thin or skinny.  I strive to be healthy and happy no matter what my size! 

I'm married and I'm a BBW.  I believe that you can be big, beautiful and healthy.  I have no desire to be thin or look like everyone else.  I just want to be healthy and be around for a long time so I can share my dreams and goals with my wonderful husband.

No, really, there are many other reasons to enjoy a fat partner:  softness, warmth,  a lot to grope--and this is totally apart from being attracted to  a pleasant, intelligent, friendly, funny, and otherwise nice person who just happens to be fat. Actually, in today's society, a person needs *more* self-confidence to date a fat person, as the show demonstrated.  You have to be strong enough to know what you like and not go with what others say you should like.

Also, I think there's less conflict between living a healthy life and having a fat-loving spouse than people seem to be assuming.  Many fat people can live very healthy lives, exercise and eat wonderfully, and lose weight--but still be fat, just less fat. It's very rare for someone who's clinically obese to reach insurance-chart weights and stay there; but losing only 10% of your weight can improve health. I'm fat, and that's certainly been the case with me. 

Also, do you feel that all people whose spouses are unhealthy are insecure? What about someone who marries someone in a wheelchair or blind due to a disease? Or someone with cancer? I'd say, again, that they may well be stronger than most people, not weaker.