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Topic : 07/03 Big Love

Number of Replies: 605
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Created on : Friday, January 26, 2007, 01:55:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 1/31/07) The media bombards the public with images of stick-thin bodies, but not all men prefer these types of women. Self-proclaimed "Chubby Chasers" love their women curvy, round and voluptuous. Clayton says he likes the rolls on his wife, Cheryl's, 300-pound body, and he loves to watch her butt jiggle. Cheryl says that she wants to lose weight but fears that if she does, she might also lose her marriage. Does Clayton sabotage Cheryl to keep her overweight? Dr. Phil has a plan to get them both what they want. Then, Phillip says he prefers to date women who are at least 250 pounds. His twin brother, Paul, says he's disgusted by the plus-size women, and his brother is embarrassing the family. He even makes fun of Phillip's dates when he brings one home, calling her fat and stinky. Will these brothers ever be able to find a middle ground? And, go inside a nightclub that caters to big women and men who can't get enough of them! Talk about the show here.

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January 30, 2007, 4:56 pm CST

01/31 Big Love

Quote From: rosie52

I think the term "Chubby Chasers" sounds demeaning. What about "Finding Fuller Figures"? I wonder if the show is really about men who just simply want the world to know they love their women even though they are larger ladies. Maybe they want to say that skinny people haven't cornered the market on love, romance, marriage etc. I have to believe that if the men really love their mates, they would be more concerned about their health than worrying about them losing weight.
THANK YOU!! I couldn't have said it any better.
 
January 30, 2007, 6:06 pm CST

it's a shame

Quote From: ejkorvette

If you think it is "challenging" trying to find someone through dating websites that wants to go out with a fat woman (as a fat guy I can use that word!), try being a short (five two) guy! Even in the allegedly "size-acceptance" communities, women are programmed to want the American ideal of a taller guy. Or a guy that doesn't make them look larger than they already are! Luckily though, there are enough enlightened women out there (I was married to one!) that look beyond the physical, just like the women here are asking the men to do.

 

As for losing weight and having people suddenly "notice" you, I agree with you. I have lost a net amount of about forty pounds since last April, and it is amazing how differently people at both of my jobs treat me now, even after only forty-two pounds! People's attitudes do need to change.

 

Regardless though. people have to do what is right for them, not to please anyone else. A lot of these posts have brought up valid health issues too.

Plus sized people are virtually ignored in society.

 

I cannot say I understand how it feels to be a man who is 5'2".  I am 5'4" but height is rarely an issue form women. personally, I have dated men from 5'6" to 6'5" and height is not a big deal for me but I can see how it would be for some women.

 

health issues are definite reasons for embarking on a weight loss plan. My mother is obese and there is a definite genetic link there as we both gained large amounts of weight when we were pregnant and as time went on, that weight never came off and we put more on. I intend on changing that FOR HEALTH REASONS as I have hypertension.

 

The bottom line is, if a person male or female does not posses the "perfect ideal" of a figure then they are not worthy of love?  Seems that way to me.

 

 

 
January 30, 2007, 6:08 pm CST

I agree

Quote From: gangstadawg

um maybe you should try sites like www.fullfiggas.com which is a nice community. and saying that men dont like big woman is not true. to tell you the truth the majority of men that dont like big women are WHITE. im not being racist but its true.
I hate to say this but black men are much more accepting of full figured women than white men are. I can only speak from my experiences and my experiences say that is definitely the case.
 
January 30, 2007, 6:12 pm CST

no sloth here

Quote From: swchick

 I see lots of posts by women and girls who feel anger at being treated differently by others following weight loss,  and here is another one (although herre its a sort of anticipatory anger).  Your weight doesn't change your wroth as a person, but it certainly does change your desireability as a mate.

Attractiveness is based on signs of health and youth and fertility.  Serious overweight is a sign of sloth, gluttony, poor health and possibly faulty genetics....a cocktail of character and genetic flaws .   The envelope counts....  The envelope can't be separated from the rest of you...it is, in fact, part of the whole you.  When you do the work to be more attractive, you will have earned the attention of potential mates.   If you have to be angy at anyone, be angry at yourself for failing to take care of yourself and making yourself as attractive as you can be.

I can say that I am definitely not a sloth nor a glutton. If you saw my mother, you would agree that a PORTION of my weight problem lies with genetics - my sister is in the same situation. We were all thin until we had children. While I do have hypertension, I am in otherwise excellent health.

 

why aren't these questions asked when the man is obese?

 

 

 
January 30, 2007, 9:06 pm CST

I love my larger ladies

I am a man of varied tastes. Most people who know me say Ican have any woman I want. I prefer my larger women to the imperfect Hollywood vision of what a woman should be. I love myquick witted passionate women of size. Each woman is a jewel to be treasured bythe man that loves her. And I find that larger women know who they are and whatthey expect. They have no shame in their game and should not be ashamed becauseyou fear what you don’t understand. These ladies are exactly that – ladies andwe love every ounce of them. The only reason I would ever ask a woman to loseweight is for her health, if her health was in danger. To all you smallerindividuals, don’t fear them, embrace them. These are women. Big, beautiful,curvy, women. And when they walk, their walk is divine! It is not only aphysical thing. It is also a mental thing. Most of them are happy, Confident inthemselves. They know they gain our attention. There is nothing as fine as awoman who knows who she is. I find big women to be intelligent, sensual- infact everything a man could want in a woman, and more. Thank you for your time.Mr. Dee Nice  

 
 
January 31, 2007, 5:40 am CST

01/31 Big Love

I'm interested that so few people have commented on the brothers.  It strikes me as very, very sad that an African-American man would show so much reflexive, unthinking prejudice--downright hatred of women just because of how they look.  The fact is (and I know this from personal experience) that it is very, very hard for a person who has been significantly overweight all his or her life to change that.  Not impossible, but very difficult.  Perhaps the best lesson Dr, Phil could have given that young man would have been to read his own words back to him, but substitute "black" for "fat."

 

Personally, I believe that hating fat people is one of the last acceptable forms of prejudice.  "Fat" is the only lifestyle you can openly disapprove of and get away with it by calling yourself "health conscious."   But believe me, no one "chooses" to be morbidly obese, and the "choices" that one must make to get out of morbid obesity are monumentally difficult.  Look at Oprah Winfrey.  She has unlimited resources and a very public career.  She has every reason to succeed.  But it took many years, untold thousands of dollars in personal trainers and personal chefs, and, ultimately, an almost religious devotion to her body to become...a nice, average weight.

 

Being morbidly obese is its own form of eating disorder.  You do not have a normal relationship with food.  Eating is not just fueling your body.  Nobody tells anorexics or bulemics to "make healthier choices" in a dismissive tone tinged with disgust.  We send them to treatment program after treatment program because, after all, it's not really about the food.  Can't the same level of understanding be extended to the obese?  It's not really about the food for us, either. 

 

And if a few men out there have it in their hearts and heads to believe fat can be attractive, I say more power to them. 

 
January 31, 2007, 5:48 am CST

Fat is unhealthy, and so is prejudice

 

My 90+ year old grandfather (6'3, thin and handsome) always loved BIG women (at least 250 lbs). His own father preferred them well over 350 lbs. Whether one likes a heavy person or a think person, really shouldn't matter (what's important is on the inside). To each his own !!!

.

However, if it were not for the HEALTH issue, fat would and should be acceptable. Sadly, being obese is very unhealthy for the individual, and also for the children many of these obese people are raising; our kids learn what to eat, how much to eat, what not to eat, how much to exercise (etc) from parents. We are their role models; it's not what we say, but what we do.

 

May Dr. Phil be able to get the guest to see that his prejudice and cruelty w/ regard to obese people is NOT acceptable, not Christian and not fair. And may the obese guests get the help they need to get (and stay) healthy.

 
January 31, 2007, 5:50 am CST

You are so correct!

Quote From: pichick712

I hate to say this but black men are much more accepting of full figured women than white men are. I can only speak from my experiences and my experiences say that is definitely the case.
I have found the same thing w/ black men....and add Hispanic men to that list as well! But, having been married to a great white guy for 17 years, I just simply sit back and enjoy the attention:)
 
January 31, 2007, 6:01 am CST

Great post...you covered it !

Quote From: angelgirl11

Wow!!  I just don't know what men really do like!  Anyway being  fat is a health risk!  But its whats on the inside of a person not the out side.   The only thing I see bad about  being fat is the health risk. Not the looks!  If a person thats fat wants to loose it. Then I say go for it! Don't worry what Hes thinks. If he truly loves you. he will support you.   Be happy with who you are. Want to change things about yourself then go for it. Make your own self happy first!

Excellent post. If it were not for the health issues related to obesity, I'd give a thumbs up to being grossly overweight.

 

And if someone won't love us for who we are (not what we are or what we look like), than that person has the problem!

 

Lose weight because YOU want to do it, not because someone else demands it. I am losing weight for my young children, so I can be with them until I die from a natural old age. And I am doing it for my husband, whom I used to swim with, bike with, play racquetball with, etc. And I am doing it for me...because I owe it to myself to be healthy and "free" from sickness and physical confinement (knee problems got me on this current health track).

 

My husband of 17 years has NEVER ever said anything about my weight gain (110 lbs). He has continued to call me "beautiful," continued to desire me, continued to respect me and continued to be a super guy all-around (and he's a rugged hunk:).

 

QUALITY people love their spouses for what's on the inside; they acknowledge that the outside is mere packaging (an unnecessary extra). Without pressure from others to lose weight, I decided on MY OWN to get healthy, which is why this LIFE STYLE CHANGE (not diet) is WORKING.

 
January 31, 2007, 6:14 am CST

And blonde...

Quote From: gangstadawg

um maybe you should try sites like www.fullfiggas.com which is a nice community. and saying that men dont like big woman is not true. to tell you the truth the majority of men that dont like big women are WHITE. im not being racist but its true.
Not only do white men want broomsticks with large boobs, they want BLONDE sticks.  It's the Abercrombie Syndrome.  They have to box perfection before they take it home to meet the parents.  Why are heroin addict-thin white women the only standard of beauty?  Most white women I meet don't even fit that standard- not 60 lbs, not platinum blonde, and actually have a personality and brains.  It's time to evolve our standard of beauty-take note Hollywood!
 
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