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Topic : 07/17 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 2

Number of Replies: 289
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Created on : Friday, February 02, 2007, 03:00:27 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/06/07) An intensive workshop continues in The Dr. Phil House as three wives turn their husbands in to Man Camp in a last-ditch effort to save their marriages. After Scott refuses to clean up a mess in the house, he has an angry discussion with Dr. Phil and storms out. Can his wife, Tara, convince him to give the experience another shot for the sake of his marriage and his family? Then, John and Nic roll up their sleeves and begin to clean the house, while their wives secretly watch in amazement. Will they have a new appreciation for what their better halves do on a daily basis? Plus, Dr. Phil sits down with Nic and Amanda. What did they do to nearly get kicked out of The Dr. Phil House? And will Amanda agree to bring in the man she’s been having an affair with, so she can tell him in front of Dr. Phil that it’s over, once and for all? Join the discussion.

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February 4, 2007, 2:43 pm CST

man camp

dear dr phil this is a great subject and it seems to be a growing epidemic. I feel alot of it is to blame on the female for not setting boundries from the beginning of a relationship.  I meet my husband of 29 years when I was 15 he was an earthmover working for my sister and her husband. We migrated from Holland when I was 3 yold with my 6 siblings and mother who was very homesick and father who died when he was only 56yold. We lived on a farm and it was veru isolating and I was bullied at school by my peers for being fat and dutch. I suppose I fell into my husbands hands and was infatuated with him but I didn't really know with what. He sees no reason to do anything with me, he works and works on our farm now and is also earthmoving with our son. I went back to my nursing which was fun but very tiring trying to maintain a house sit my granddaughter and help run a business. My husband is selfish and sees no need to keep me company, he doenst like to walk, dance holiday or enjoy much of life really. His childhood was pretty sad, ehreas I had lots of fun with my siblings. I have just decidied to get on with my life and let God do what he can with what is left of my husband. He is a smoker and a drinker and puts his mother children and friends first. This is what he as shown by his family. I asked him to give up smoking to change something in his life but it was as if I'd asked him to cut off his arm. The writing is on the wall I have ahd interventions from the local church but that went wrong when the minister requested some money from my husband for wheels on the ministers car? We tried love languages but he is so wrapped up in his stuff he doesn't  see he should do any more. Life down under is no different, family life has always been tough. I feel that feminism has confused some issues for men, my husband has alot of fear and no faith so I guess we just pray. Regards tootrusting
 
February 5, 2007, 2:48 am CST

OMFG!!!!

I say you send those 3 guys to my house for 2 weeks! You wanna yell at someone try yelling at me u little B***h! And for the old guy who thinks he's better than all women and we are just stupid B***h's and you slap your wife... come try and slap me! I would put you 6 feet under you mamma's boy!  And the last guy who says," I wish you had aborted the kids"....the best part of you ran down your mom's leg! Maybe they should have aborted you!

 

What gives you 3 guys the right to treat any human being like that? And these women are the people you love most in life?

 

For the 3 wives....pack your stuff, grab your kids and leave! Do it today. Walk away from those men and never look back! Your husbands have serious mental issues and no amount of counciling will ever fix them.  You 3 women have wasted to much of your lives in those marriages already! Don't waste 1 more second.  You 3 could be so happy and find men who would love you more than you could ever imagine. No one deserves to be treated the way I have watched these men treat you. It just makes me sick and pisses me off beyond belief!!!

 

And one last thing for the guys on the show...you ever hear of the movie,"The Burning Bed"?  In case you did not know that movie is based on a true story. I think you 3 guys should get together and watch it. People can take only so much crap from someone they love until they just snap!  You guys are playing a very dangerous game with your wives. You might want to open your eyes before your the main character in that movie.

 

Or better yet, why don't you guys try treating a stranger the way you treat your wives...I can promise you this...someone would put you the hospital if you even tried have that crap with them! But I guess that's what makes you cowards...because deep down you know a stranger would hurt you if you tried to bully them the way you do your wives. Shame on all 3 of you men! You guys are the reason men sometimes get a bad name.

 
February 5, 2007, 8:40 am CST

I wish I could send my Husband to your Camp!

   Stereotyped men have no right to treat women like merchandise, sex machine's & tax deduction's!!!   I think somehow we need to get to the root of this major problem.  Through the year's while these men grew up, they forgot, how they treated their Mother's.  Evidently, they take their anger & frustration's out on the one's they say they LOVE.  Just because they weren't taught how to seek medical attention for their trauma's.

   My Husband, seems to think a woman's place is doing all the home chore's & working as hard as a Man does.  He is so possessive & degrading to me, especially in front of other's.  I know deep down inside himself, there is a trauma & he fights with his own demon's, cause he also degrades himself.

     I think part of our adult life solution could be continued Education!    But, to implement this, I have found, the only way would be to involve the Law..  I found this easier said, then done!!!!!!

     All & any feedback would be greatly appreciated..                    Desperate  Wife

 
February 5, 2007, 1:54 pm CST

these guys are a sad sight

Quote From: ohdang13

I say you send those 3 guys to my house for 2 weeks! You wanna yell at someone try yelling at me u little B***h! And for the old guy who thinks he's better than all women and we are just stupid B***h's and you slap your wife... come try and slap me! I would put you 6 feet under you mamma's boy!  And the last guy who says," I wish you had aborted the kids"....the best part of you ran down your mom's leg! Maybe they should have aborted you!

 

What gives you 3 guys the right to treat any human being like that? And these women are the people you love most in life?

 

For the 3 wives....pack your stuff, grab your kids and leave! Do it today. Walk away from those men and never look back! Your husbands have serious mental issues and no amount of counciling will ever fix them.  You 3 women have wasted to much of your lives in those marriages already! Don't waste 1 more second.  You 3 could be so happy and find men who would love you more than you could ever imagine. No one deserves to be treated the way I have watched these men treat you. It just makes me sick and pisses me off beyond belief!!!

 

And one last thing for the guys on the show...you ever hear of the movie,"The Burning Bed"?  In case you did not know that movie is based on a true story. I think you 3 guys should get together and watch it. People can take only so much crap from someone they love until they just snap!  You guys are playing a very dangerous game with your wives. You might want to open your eyes before your the main character in that movie.

 

Or better yet, why don't you guys try treating a stranger the way you treat your wives...I can promise you this...someone would put you the hospital if you even tried have that crap with them! But I guess that's what makes you cowards...because deep down you know a stranger would hurt you if you tried to bully them the way you do your wives. Shame on all 3 of you men! You guys are the reason men sometimes get a bad name.

there must have been a lot of term oil for these men growing up for them to treat there wifes like this. i'm single and i have seen a lot of men do this to there woman. i have 2 best friends one she was married 2 times the guys were verbal. she will never do it again but is very strong. my other friend had 3 kids with a guy who had some kind of mental problem know she is in a good solid marrige of 17 years.i was brought up to stick up for who i was and never take any crap from anyone. i always said if i find a guy to abuse me. i was going to fight back not take it. guys like that are so insacure with themselfs that have to take it out on someone else. girls theres no saveing your relationships don't give them the time or day. they need help along with you but not together as a couple. it is very sad for there kids. the kids are going to turn out bad. so dr phil help them as you always do. i love you for who you are. a fighter as me dr phil smiles suzy q

 
February 5, 2007, 3:17 pm CST

Empathy

I watched Part 1 with interest...  and fantacised that I was actually on the show myself.  I can relate to all 3 of these women.  I get that they have not left.  After 15 years of mental and emotional abuse, my last straw occurred in 2002.  What's holding me up?  Making sure my kids are secure financially and physically.  We need a place to live.  In order for that to happen - I have to be able to make enough money to pay all the bills and feed us.  That doesn't happen overnight.  In addition, I have to be able to pay a lawyer - you can't just walk in and get free legal service.  It doesn't work that way.  Our income is over the maximum allowed...  and lawyers want $2k up front.  And, in my current circumstances - no job (for EITHER of us), $15k in debt, no February house payment (and it's below 0 outside) - I'm not able to just pick up and leave.  I have nowhere to go.  I have no family.  One brother who would love to help, but he is Canadian.  And that's another bunch of mess.

 

I think if Dr. Phil can help these guys understand how much damage they have done - kudos.  I wish we all had access to that kind of help.   I have already tried the "tape the show and make him watch it" route.  It doesn't work.  Neither does messing up the house (or even letting the house mess itself - I refused to cook or clean for 3 years).  Neither does 1-to-1 counseling at a Judge's order.  If the people around these guys enable them - that is, don't make them tow the line, don't point out when they are out of line, ask questions and demand answers to stuff - they will just continue on their way.  The fact that for these three it's out now - everyone knows how they treat their wives - is a huge step.

 

The ugly truth is we don't all have Dr. Phils in our lives - and without intervention many of us will not get to where we need to be to be safe and human.  It's not always about being emotionally unable - it's about the community you live in, and what kind of support you have or don't have around you.  You can't just go from making nothing to making $50k in 5 years, much less overnight.  Most of us just hope we'll get to the other side with some of ourselves intact, and minimal damage to our children.

 
February 5, 2007, 8:58 pm CST

I feel your pain

I know what they are dealing with.we get along most of the time...but like everyone else we have some issues.....My husband of 20 years tells me the other day that I am getting too fat. And there are lots of 20 something girls that like to flirt with him and i need to shape up or he's venturing out.  I weigh 119 #. I have always been around 115 naturally. Weight has never been an issue with me.  So I have gainned 4 #s.  Not to mention he gained 45# over the past 20 years. and lost 20 of it. He is arrogant and thinks all women are after him. He is flirtacious. But has never strayed. But has pondered it. i was shocked when he said this to me but I was really hurt when he said he was serious.  We also have 2 teenagers in the house which has been very stressful lately....but with issues he doesn't want to deal with he leaves it to me.  He is also an alcoholic...drinking everyday. which hinders any nightly activities. I do and have always done for the children. He feels he works 12 hour days/nights 14 days out of the month is enough for his contribution for this family. 
 
February 5, 2007, 10:53 pm CST

pick yourself up

 the book i read the laungage of letting go ......
 
February 5, 2007, 11:01 pm CST

theres hope

Quote From: carolbpete

I watched Part 1 with interest...  and fantacised that I was actually on the show myself.  I can relate to all 3 of these women.  I get that they have not left.  After 15 years of mental and emotional abuse, my last straw occurred in 2002.  What's holding me up?  Making sure my kids are secure financially and physically.  We need a place to live.  In order for that to happen - I have to be able to make enough money to pay all the bills and feed us.  That doesn't happen overnight.  In addition, I have to be able to pay a lawyer - you can't just walk in and get free legal service.  It doesn't work that way.  Our income is over the maximum allowed...  and lawyers want $2k up front.  And, in my current circumstances - no job (for EITHER of us), $15k in debt, no February house payment (and it's below 0 outside) - I'm not able to just pick up and leave.  I have nowhere to go.  I have no family.  One brother who would love to help, but he is Canadian.  And that's another bunch of mess.

 

I think if Dr. Phil can help these guys understand how much damage they have done - kudos.  I wish we all had access to that kind of help.   I have already tried the "tape the show and make him watch it" route.  It doesn't work.  Neither does messing up the house (or even letting the house mess itself - I refused to cook or clean for 3 years).  Neither does 1-to-1 counseling at a Judge's order.  If the people around these guys enable them - that is, don't make them tow the line, don't point out when they are out of line, ask questions and demand answers to stuff - they will just continue on their way.  The fact that for these three it's out now - everyone knows how they treat their wives - is a huge step.

 

The ugly truth is we don't all have Dr. Phils in our lives - and without intervention many of us will not get to where we need to be to be safe and human.  It's not always about being emotionally unable - it's about the community you live in, and what kind of support you have or don't have around you.  You can't just go from making nothing to making $50k in 5 years, much less overnight.  Most of us just hope we'll get to the other side with some of ourselves intact, and minimal damage to our children.

my husband also needs aa 2 weeks 3 days ago my man tore up the house i left the house w/ kids told him the next time he drinks hes leaving theres people out there to help you  your strong enough
 
February 5, 2007, 11:22 pm CST

02/06 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 2

Quote From: carolbpete

I watched Part 1 with interest...  and fantacised that I was actually on the show myself.  I can relate to all 3 of these women.  I get that they have not left.  After 15 years of mental and emotional abuse, my last straw occurred in 2002.  What's holding me up?  Making sure my kids are secure financially and physically.  We need a place to live.  In order for that to happen - I have to be able to make enough money to pay all the bills and feed us.  That doesn't happen overnight.  In addition, I have to be able to pay a lawyer - you can't just walk in and get free legal service.  It doesn't work that way.  Our income is over the maximum allowed...  and lawyers want $2k up front.  And, in my current circumstances - no job (for EITHER of us), $15k in debt, no February house payment (and it's below 0 outside) - I'm not able to just pick up and leave.  I have nowhere to go.  I have no family.  One brother who would love to help, but he is Canadian.  And that's another bunch of mess.

 

I think if Dr. Phil can help these guys understand how much damage they have done - kudos.  I wish we all had access to that kind of help.   I have already tried the "tape the show and make him watch it" route.  It doesn't work.  Neither does messing up the house (or even letting the house mess itself - I refused to cook or clean for 3 years).  Neither does 1-to-1 counseling at a Judge's order.  If the people around these guys enable them - that is, don't make them tow the line, don't point out when they are out of line, ask questions and demand answers to stuff - they will just continue on their way.  The fact that for these three it's out now - everyone knows how they treat their wives - is a huge step.

 

The ugly truth is we don't all have Dr. Phils in our lives - and without intervention many of us will not get to where we need to be to be safe and human.  It's not always about being emotionally unable - it's about the community you live in, and what kind of support you have or don't have around you.  You can't just go from making nothing to making $50k in 5 years, much less overnight.  Most of us just hope we'll get to the other side with some of ourselves intact, and minimal damage to our children.

I was where you were.  Stop fantacizing and go.  Your last straw was five years ago?  You've merely raised your tolerance.  Forget making sure the kids are financially secure: their mental health is priceless!  Each and every day that you stay--that they stay with you--your children are learning damaging, dysfunctional, and self-defeating behaviors.  They need you to defend and protect them: to set minimum standards for yourself and them, to exhibit a strong sense of self-worth, and to muster the strength even in your most frightened moments.  You know the definition of bravery?  I used to think it was an absence of fear, but then I learned that's not true;  soldiers in battle are so scared that they soil themselves, and yet they fight.  Bravery means feeling the fear and doing it anyway!  Fight for your children, for their emotional health and well-being: they're looking to YOU as their knight in shining armour.  On the practical side, go into your joint bank and investment accounts and remove as much of the assets as you can (it's all community property, anyway, to be inventoried and fairly divided, so you're not going to keep more than your fair share: this is merely to get you solvent).  Put the funds in an account in your name only.  Get a job--any job--and get OUT!  File your initial papers at the courthouse yourself until you find a lawyer who agrees to take her fee at the final settlement (mine waited two years).  What I'm saying is that reasons become excuses.  When I finally got the courage to do THE RIGHT THING (for myself and my children), I was willing to file for Welfare, live in a one-bedroom efficiency apt., and eat Beanie-Weenie's, if I had to (I didn't have to).  As long as my children and I were together in peace and quiet, free from verbal and emotional abuse, it would be worth it.  Remember that you're teaching your children each and every day: they're looking to YOU for leadership.  And, whether you wish it or not, they will emulate you, by either marrying or becoming abusers themselves.  How about giving them a different role model?

 
February 6, 2007, 2:57 am CST

Man Camp

It takes ..desperate measures to agree to expose your Marriage problems on National TV..and I say..say, Fantastic.,...you picked the right man to help you through this..I am a Dr. Phil addict..He is the type of Dr. I beleive we all wish we could have next door...........I will not get down on the men..or woman...It takes two too tango.....There are several things I would love  to write to Dr. Phil about..but I am sure he cannot solve everyones problems of the world..I mean he is Fantastic..But He has a llife beyond his show..He has a wonderful wife...Robin..They are the too me, the almost perfect couple....I said, almost perfect..as nobody is perfect...

  I look  forward to watching Part 2 of this show. and will continue to watch all episodes..I hope for the best for all couples.whether they leave the house..that thye all have learned something about themselves..( as individuals) .......It could be a make it or break it Journey..I guess depending how much each of them is willing to work at it....Enough said for now..

 
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