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February 9, 2007, 6:54 pm PST
Make sure you Understand the Pre-nup
My husband presented me with a prenup 3 days before we were getting married. Being in love most definitely causes a chemical imbalance. I took it to my attorney to review. He said it just meant that my husband keeps what he has prior to marriage and I keep what I have prior to marriage. That was no problem he had a little money and a business, I had a great career and I had never worried about not working for a living. So I signed. We had a baby 1 yr and nine months later. My husband said we did not need me to work, since I already did his business paperwork at night in addition to my full time job, I should just stay home and take care of our baby and take care of the business. So for 6.5 yrs. I stayed home and did all the paper work, he gifted one of the businesses to me so I could be President and help him get minority contracts. I also took care of our child entirely, and our house entirely. No need to hire handyman when I could do most chores inside or out. So for 6.5 yrs. I received no paycheck in my name. Now here I am almost 10 yrs. later and according to the pre-nup I get 1/2 of the equity in the house and child support. I have been trying to get a descent paying job through almost three years of an on going divorce. I am the proud owner of $171,000.00 liability to the union for unpaid pension and welfare dues which I was forced to sign personally and as owner of the company. The are many financial arrangements which I made for the business which help my husband put more money in his pocket. Apparently the pre-nup had a little word in it that is called accretions. Which means my husband took all our tax refunds and put them in his money market account which did not have my name on it. He purchased equipment and vehicles and titled them in his company name. My company paid the payments, but frankly I never had control over the business income anyway, I just paid the bills and invoiced the customers. So while putting my career on hold and letting my pride and my Love for him stand in my way, I did not ask for IRA deposits or income in my own name. I did however enjoy a beautiful home and spent a lot of quality time with our daughter while my husband enjoyed his extracurricular activities and traveled. Unfortunately I ran out of money within the first 12 months of the divorce proceedings. It truly is frightening to be over 40 with a 7 yr old child and no job security and very little money. I will be forced to take a minimal settlement and child support and try to make a new life for myself and our daughter. My right to alimony was waived in the pre-nup, my attorney did advise against waiving alimony, but I was too young to believe that it would effect my ability to provide for myself. My husband however makes in one month what it will take a year for me to make, (if I can secure a descent job). He has easily 2 million in assets and is still getting half of the marital assets which is the house and furniture. Frankly, things did change after we got married and the man I thought I married by definition has all the characteristics of a narcissist. I can't even make him move out of the house until I agree to his terms, at which time I will have to move out because I cannot afford the house. My daughter is worth everything I have, and I am worth too much to continue living in a emotional, and mentally abusive marriage. So MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND THE PRE-NUP and don't sell yourself short like I did.
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Marriage contracts are not only for the rich and famous. More and more couples ask each other to sign on the line -- sometimes when they've already been married for years! Leah says her husband of four years, Gary, wants her to sign a postnuptial agreement that says everything they have is his. Gary says his greatest fear is Leah taking half his assets, and she deserves nothing but her clothes, her ring and her car. Does Gary love his money more than he loves his wife? Then, Darlene says her estranged husband, Bobby, is the cheapest, most selfish man she has ever met. Bobby says Darlene has already left him twice, and he can't trust her. He refuses to get back together unless Darlene signs a "quit claim" and agrees to relinquish what he says are his assets. Darlene is outraged by Bobby's actions and says she can't trust him. Is she right to think this could be a set-up? Can Bobby and Darlene come to terms and reconcile their relationship? In a marriage, is it ever right to draw a line and say, "What's mine is mine"? Find out what Dr. Phil thinks and share your thoughts here.
