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Topic : Maximizing Weight Loss Through the Tough Times

Number of Replies: 10347
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Created on : Monday, July 04, 2005, 02:22:34 pm
Author : dataimport
This message board was started in hopes that it would be a "soft place to land" in times when an ear and a compassionate heart is needed, or in times when you just need to vent your frustrations, loneliness, insecurities, sadness, discouragement and any other emotion that hinders your WLC journey. Here you will find NO judging, unconditional love and acceptance, a support in times when you feel you can't share with others. Join us and let's make this a "Safe place for all".

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August 19, 2005, 10:44 am PDT

Announcement

Our diaries have now launched! Here are some of the new added features:  

  • Previously we had only 3 diary topics to add an entry to - Weight Loss Freedom, Working from the Inside Out, and Family First. Now you can start your own diaries on any topics you like!
  • You can choose to keep your diaries private or share them with the rest of DrPhil.com. And if you choose to change the status (from shared to private or vice versa), you can do easily this by editing your diary.
  • Your diaries and entries can be edited and deleted by you at any time.
  • Other members can post comments to your diary entries.
  • You can "Subscribe" to other member shared diaries that interest you and your subscriptions will be located in "My Profile" for easy access.
  • All of your own diaries (private and shared) will be listed on the left side of the main diaries pages after you log in.
  • If you click on a user name, you can select to view all diary entries by that user.
  • Each week we will select 2 or 3 shared member diaries to spotlight on our "Featured Diaries" page.

Note: When you create a new shared diary, it must have at least one entry that has been approved first before it appears on the shared diaries page.  

   

Hope to see you on the DrPhil.com diaires!  

 
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August 19, 2005, 11:53 am PDT

THANKS VICKIE

Quote From: mfoxy1

Karen is so right-- 

many things can cause forgetfulness,and make us feel unsure of our self. 

  

I too have been suffering forgetfulness---I have forgotten watching over half the movies we own,and watching them--doesn't bring back the memory that I had either.they are new shows to me.I can even forget if I have eaten or not.and yes I have those times I don't remember a conversation.I can never remember my own age.I met an ex on the street one day--and when he asked if I remembered him---I honestly couldn't--I lived with this man for 2 years.Now thats forgetting.lol I felt bad-cause I know he was hurt that day. 

  

My memory problems a caused by other things, then that which you have mentioned. stress plays a part for sure. 

  

my memory goes in and out.So as Karen said please don't fret--let your doctor help you figure out what is causing this problem. 

  

Vickie 

I FEEL BETTER AFTER READING YOUR POST AND KAREN'S. I HOPE THAT WHAT EVER IS GOING ON HAS MORE TO DO WITH WHAT IS HAPPENING IN MY LIFE, RATHER THAN A NERILOGICAL PROBLEM. I KNOW I AM DISTRACTED, IT IS HARD FOR ME TO STAY FOCUSED AND I FORGET MORE THAN I CARE TO ADMIT, HAVE A HARD TIME CONCINTRATING, I GET UP TO DO SOMETHING THEN FORGET WHAT IT WAS I WAS GOING TO DO. ALL COULD BE SIGNS OF STRESS AND I SURE HAVE HAD MY SHARE OF THAT OVER THE YEARS. IT FEELS SOMETIMES LIKE MY BRAIN IS FILLED WITH COBWEBS. I JUST WAS NOT AWARE THAT I WAS DOING THINGS THAT MY DAUGHTERS NOTICED THAT WAS WORRISUM TO THEM. I GUESS WHEN YOU SEE YOUR MOTHER BEHAVING IN WHAT SEEMS TO BE UNLIKE HERSELF AND IS SCARY TO THEM. THANKS FOR THE REASURANCE AND SHARING YOUR DIFFICULTIES. IT FEELS LIKE I AM NOT SO ALONE IN THIS. LOL BEV
 
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August 19, 2005, 12:22 pm PDT

THANKS VICKIE

Quote From: mfoxy1

  

bev I didn't forget you Hun--just had to get re-setup in my room. 

  

I have been sensing something was wrong--but didn't know if I should ask! 

  

  

I think it was wonderful for your family to approach you with their concerns the way they did. 

  

  

I am glad to hear you are going back to the doctor and getting things checked out. 

thank you for sharing this with us. and I hope seeing it all in writing helps. 

You hang in there and remember we are all here for and with you--no matter what troubles you face. 

  

  

I am proud to have you a part of my life and will do anything I can to help. 

  

  

you are such a strong person to have been there for your parents and go threw all you have yourself. 

  

I am glad you opened up and told us what your going threw.No pity coming from here but I offer alot of loving support and a helping hand. 

  

  

you and your family are in my prayers 

  

  

Vickie 

I NEVER THOUGHT OF MYSELF AS BEING OLD, BUT TAKING CARE OF MY PARENTS FOR OVER 6YRS. ALONG WITH ALL THE OTHER THINGS LIFE THROWS AT YOU, DID TAKE A TOLL ON MY BODY AND PERHAPS MY MIND. I KNOW SO MANY HER HAVE GONE THROUGH DIFFICULT TIMES WITH HEALTH PROBLEMS, SO MUCH MORE THAN I HAVE AND OTHER ISSUES THAT BREAK MY HEART KNOW HOW THEY HAVE SUFFERRED. BUT I DO FEEL MUCH OLDER THAN I THINK I SHOULD. THE WEIGHT ALSO MAKES ME FEEL AND LOOK OLDER, THAT DOES NOT HELP MY SELF IMAGE OR ESTEEM. IF I HAD KNOWN THE STRESS, PAIN, OVERWHELMING DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS AND YEARS, I WOULD GO THROUGH, I DO NOT BELIEVE I WOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF MY PARENTS. I ALSO BELIEVED THAT I WOULD PUT MY PARENTS IN A GOOD HOME IF THINGS BECAME BECAME TOO MUCH, THEN FOUND OUT I COULD NOT DO IT. BAILING OUT DID SEEM RIGHT EITHER. IGNORANCE IS BLISS. TAKING CARE OF YOUR AGING, ILL, THEN DYING PARENTS IS TOO DIFFICULT FOR THEIR CHILD TO TAKE ON. LOOSING THEM SLOWLY AND WATCHING THEM DIE IS BEYOND WHAT I HAD EVER IMAGINED. I LEARNED WHAT I DID AND DID NOT WANT FOR MYSELF IN THE PROCESS. I AM NOT HOWEVER, SORRY THAT I DID IT. I WAS ABLE TO GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANTED THE MOST AND THAT WAS TO LIVE AND DIE IN THE HOME THEY LOVED. THE DOCTORS SAID I GAVE MY DAD 5YRS MORE THAN THEY WOULD HAVE EXPECTED AND THEY WERE AMAZED AT HOW LONG HE WAS ABLE TO LIVE A QUALITY LIFE (HE HAD PARKINSON'S). FOR THIS I AM MOST GRATEFUL FOR. MY MOTHER JUST GAVE UP, BUT WAS 95YRS OLD. NOT SICK, JUST TOO TIRED TO CONTINUE AND WANTED TO BE WITH MY DAD. THEY BOTH PASSED IN THEIR ROOMS WHERE THEY WERE HAPPY IN. DAD WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE PASSED IN HIS WORKSHOP FUTZING WITH SOMETHING THAT WAS IMPORTANT TO HIM, BUT I COULDN'T GIVE HIM EVERYTHING. I DO NOT RECOMMEND TAKING CARE OF PARENTS. I WAS NEITHER PREPARED, QUALIFIED NOR DID I UNDERSTAND WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE. EVERYTHING WAS TRIAL AND ERROR. NO BOOK OR HELP FOR ME. NOW THERE IS A BOOK, BUT TOO LATE FOR ME. SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG WINDED, IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION. I HAD JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU AND LET YOU KNOW THAT I APPRIECIATE YOUR KINDNESS. I SHOULD HAVE LEFT IT AT THAT. SORRY....LOL BEV
 
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August 19, 2005, 12:38 pm PDT

VICKIE, ONE

Quote From: mfoxy1

I have to admit I have been slipping these last few nights before the boards came back.I started eatting late at night again.Not for any other reason then I was hungry.I did make wise choices with type of foods I ate--like fresh vegs.But I know eating late is a no no.And I fell away from my water intake pretty badly.I am admitting these errors publicly--because I know I can't change it unless I claim it, and by sharing with all of you, I am more accountable for my actions.

Thanks for hearing me.I am hoping being back on the boards will help me do better in these areas and stay on track.

hugs

vickie

NICE THING ABOUT BEING ON THE DR PHIL PROGRAM IS THAT IT IS A LIFESTYLE, NOT A QUICK FIX OR A DIET. EACH DAY IS A NEW DAY, A NEW BEGINNING. IT TAKE A LONG TIME TO CHANGE OLD HABITS, ROM WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY. I TOO HAVE HAD THE DIFFICULTIES YOU TALK ABOUT. I TOO MADE WHAT I HOPED WERE GOOD CHOICES IF I WAS GOING TO DO IT. BUT WE ARE NOT ROBOTS AND WE HAVE WEAK TIMES. BUT EVEN IN THOSE WEAK TIMES YOU ARE STILL THINKING, DR. PHIL, OR YOU WOULD HAVE EATEN A CAKE, ICE CREAM OR WHAT EVER YOU USED TO DO, MINE WAS CEREAL. BOY IS THAT A HABIT THAT I WISH I DID NOT HAVE TO GIVE UP. AFTER MY PARENTS WERE IN BED AND I HAD TIME TO MYSELF I WOULD HAVE A LARGE BOWL OF GRAPENUTS WITH BROWN SUGAR, BANANA'S TOO UNTIL I GOT ASID REFLUX, AND THEN I WOULD WATCH T,.V. WHO WAS THAT A COMFORT FOR ME AFTER A LONG EXHAUSTING, STRESSFUL DAY TAKING CARE OF MY PARENTS. I HAD NO WEIGHT PROBLEMS UNTIL I STARTED TAKING CARE OF MY PARENTS. YOU ARE DOING GREAT, A SLIP HERE AND THERE IS EXPECTED, THANK YOU FOR BEING MT FRIEND!! LOL BEV
 
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August 19, 2005, 5:32 pm PDT

MY DEAR QUEEN

Quote From: queenb2009

well hello to all it has been a  tough summer and I so missed the boards they were where I went for help and support. As some of you know my dad has been diagnosed with cancer and now it is just a matter of time.My heart is breaking and though we didn't see eye to eye while I was growing up  I love him and it is killing me. He has been my dad for 49 years and it is so hard to see him waste away.Thank you Rose and karen and all  who have emailed me,My heart is breaking and I don't know what to do.We just got back from Geogia where bills sister who was 46 died of cancer and I thought that was hard but this is hard also.I just want to go to bed and never wake up. But I won't I have to buck up and be strong for my mom,She finally got him to go to the doctor but then it was to late I drove them to the hospital and stayed with them the next morning the doctor delivered his bad news and sent us home the hospice people are so caring and are trying to get us through this but it is so hard and heart breaking thank you all for caring. I have missed each and every one of you hugs sharon/queenb

MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. AS YOU KNOW I HAVE GONE THRU THIS WITH BOTH MY PARENT, SO I UNERSTAND. I WISH I COULD HOLD YOU AND LET YOU CRY AND HAVE YOU JUST HOLD ON. I WISH I HAD SOME WISE WORDS TO GIVE YOU TO EASE THE PAIN, I DO NOT THINK I CAN. WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS THAT YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO LET YOUR DAD KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM. THAT HE CAN COUNT ON YOU TO BE WITH HIM. HOSPICE IS WONDERFUL. THEY WILL COUNCEL YOU, HELP YOU DEAL WITH THE PAIN DURING AND AFTER. FOR THE NEXT 13 MONTHS, HOSPICE WILL BE THERE TO HELP YOU THRU THE GRIEF AND LOSS, AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT OUR HOSPICE GAVE US. ONCE HOSPICE BECOJMES INVOLVED IT IS USUALLY A VERY SHORT TIME, SO DO NOT WASTE ANY TIME LETTING YOUR FATHER KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM. I CAN TELL YOU THAT ALTHOUGH THE PAIN STAYS A LONG TIME, IT DOES EASE WITH TIME AND THE MEMORIES OF THE GOOD TIMES, FUNNY TIMES AND FUN TIMES WILL BEGIN. HEALING TAKES TIME, SO DO NOT RUSH IT. MY MOTHER PASSED IN MARCH AND AS WE HAVE TALKED IN CHAT IN THE PAST, WE BOTH HAD DIFFICULTIES, YOU WITH YOUR DAD AND ME WITH MY MOTHER, AS I WATCHED HER GO DOWN HILL AND THE PASS AWAY, GRIEF AND A LOSS I CAN NOT EXPLAIN SET IN. I AM STILL DEALING WITH THE LOSS OF MY PARENTS. I STILL MISS MY DAD SO VERY MUCH. BUT I ALSO CAN LAUGH, SMILE AND REMEMBER THE FUNNY THINGS THAT HAPPENED. THE PAIN, I KNOW, GRIPS YOUR HEART. LET US HELP YOU DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME. LOL BEV
 
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August 19, 2005, 8:23 pm PDT

Hi all you beautiful friends...

Here it is the beginning of another weekend, I am amazed just how fast the week really goes...I'm on day 2 of my WLC plan, and am doing well...I weighed in this morning and was surprised to see 6 pounds gone in one day, so we know this was fluid...the bloating and lethargy has left and I feel great today... 

 

So I lost that 5 pound bag of carrots so am working on a 10 pound bag of lard now...as lard represents fat to me and I struggle with margarine , oils etc..so the lard is next to go..and so fitting..ha ha.. I am on the road to good health and peace of mind once again...I am finding it easier now since I put my frame of mind in a new mode....A mode for success, and positivity...Diana when you mentioned about circumstances etc and finding new ways to cope you are so right..and I have a host of new ways now...been really working on this...The rivers are flowing , but brings healing too...smiling...never wept so much as I have these past 2 days...and I am feeling washed clean by my own tears...I have held so many things on the back burner and it caused me to continually jump into the "fires of gluttony.." NO MORE>..  Yes, I will be OK...lol.. 

 

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, and yet still posts their support and keeps in touch...for this Key 7 is so important...I know I too have been guilty of just reading and not posting sometimes...thinking I have not much to share...but just in being here with and for each other , this is what it is truly about.... Hugs and love, 

Karen 

 
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August 20, 2005, 2:14 am PDT

BEV

Quote From: beverlyc

I NEVER THOUGHT OF MYSELF AS BEING OLD, BUT TAKING CARE OF MY PARENTS FOR OVER 6YRS. ALONG WITH ALL THE OTHER THINGS LIFE THROWS AT YOU, DID TAKE A TOLL ON MY BODY AND PERHAPS MY MIND. I KNOW SO MANY HER HAVE GONE THROUGH DIFFICULT TIMES WITH HEALTH PROBLEMS, SO MUCH MORE THAN I HAVE AND OTHER ISSUES THAT BREAK MY HEART KNOW HOW THEY HAVE SUFFERRED. BUT I DO FEEL MUCH OLDER THAN I THINK I SHOULD. THE WEIGHT ALSO MAKES ME FEEL AND LOOK OLDER, THAT DOES NOT HELP MY SELF IMAGE OR ESTEEM. IF I HAD KNOWN THE STRESS, PAIN, OVERWHELMING DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS AND YEARS, I WOULD GO THROUGH, I DO NOT BELIEVE I WOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF MY PARENTS. I ALSO BELIEVED THAT I WOULD PUT MY PARENTS IN A GOOD HOME IF THINGS BECAME BECAME TOO MUCH, THEN FOUND OUT I COULD NOT DO IT. BAILING OUT DID SEEM RIGHT EITHER. IGNORANCE IS BLISS. TAKING CARE OF YOUR AGING, ILL, THEN DYING PARENTS IS TOO DIFFICULT FOR THEIR CHILD TO TAKE ON. LOOSING THEM SLOWLY AND WATCHING THEM DIE IS BEYOND WHAT I HAD EVER IMAGINED. I LEARNED WHAT I DID AND DID NOT WANT FOR MYSELF IN THE PROCESS. I AM NOT HOWEVER, SORRY THAT I DID IT. I WAS ABLE TO GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANTED THE MOST AND THAT WAS TO LIVE AND DIE IN THE HOME THEY LOVED. THE DOCTORS SAID I GAVE MY DAD 5YRS MORE THAN THEY WOULD HAVE EXPECTED AND THEY WERE AMAZED AT HOW LONG HE WAS ABLE TO LIVE A QUALITY LIFE (HE HAD PARKINSON'S). FOR THIS I AM MOST GRATEFUL FOR. MY MOTHER JUST GAVE UP, BUT WAS 95YRS OLD. NOT SICK, JUST TOO TIRED TO CONTINUE AND WANTED TO BE WITH MY DAD. THEY BOTH PASSED IN THEIR ROOMS WHERE THEY WERE HAPPY IN. DAD WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE PASSED IN HIS WORKSHOP FUTZING WITH SOMETHING THAT WAS IMPORTANT TO HIM, BUT I COULDN'T GIVE HIM EVERYTHING. I DO NOT RECOMMEND TAKING CARE OF PARENTS. I WAS NEITHER PREPARED, QUALIFIED NOR DID I UNDERSTAND WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE. EVERYTHING WAS TRIAL AND ERROR. NO BOOK OR HELP FOR ME. NOW THERE IS A BOOK, BUT TOO LATE FOR ME. SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG WINDED, IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION. I HAD JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU AND LET YOU KNOW THAT I APPRIECIATE YOUR KINDNESS. I SHOULD HAVE LEFT IT AT THAT. SORRY....LOL BEV

  

  

I am happy my sharing as helped you,I too use to forget what I was going to do(back when i was able to move about)as well as miss place things. 

  

your not alone--we are all here with you. 

  

  

your parents were so blessed to have you there by their side.I know it was a heavy weight for you to bear.sounds like even threw trail and error--you did your best --which is all you could do.You said yourself--you gave them what the wanted--to spend their last years at home. 

  

  

No reason to say sorry --I am glad you didn't leave it at just a thank you. 

  

  

I appreciate your willingness to share this with us.By doing so your allowing yourself to take a positive step to helping yourself heal.(emotionally) from what was a very stressful,scary and rough time in your life.I know you will never forget those hard times--but you can allow yourself to heal from your struggles of everything you had to endure from them. 

  

you are more then welcome dear friend. 

  

  

Vickie 

  

 
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August 20, 2005, 2:24 am PDT

BEV

Quote From: beverlyc

NICE THING ABOUT BEING ON THE DR PHIL PROGRAM IS THAT IT IS A LIFESTYLE, NOT A QUICK FIX OR A DIET. EACH DAY IS A NEW DAY, A NEW BEGINNING. IT TAKE A LONG TIME TO CHANGE OLD HABITS, ROM WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY. I TOO HAVE HAD THE DIFFICULTIES YOU TALK ABOUT. I TOO MADE WHAT I HOPED WERE GOOD CHOICES IF I WAS GOING TO DO IT. BUT WE ARE NOT ROBOTS AND WE HAVE WEAK TIMES. BUT EVEN IN THOSE WEAK TIMES YOU ARE STILL THINKING, DR. PHIL, OR YOU WOULD HAVE EATEN A CAKE, ICE CREAM OR WHAT EVER YOU USED TO DO, MINE WAS CEREAL. BOY IS THAT A HABIT THAT I WISH I DID NOT HAVE TO GIVE UP. AFTER MY PARENTS WERE IN BED AND I HAD TIME TO MYSELF I WOULD HAVE A LARGE BOWL OF GRAPENUTS WITH BROWN SUGAR, BANANA'S TOO UNTIL I GOT ASID REFLUX, AND THEN I WOULD WATCH T,.V. WHO WAS THAT A COMFORT FOR ME AFTER A LONG EXHAUSTING, STRESSFUL DAY TAKING CARE OF MY PARENTS. I HAD NO WEIGHT PROBLEMS UNTIL I STARTED TAKING CARE OF MY PARENTS. YOU ARE DOING GREAT, A SLIP HERE AND THERE IS EXPECTED, THANK YOU FOR BEING MT FRIEND!! LOL BEV

Thank you for your encouraging words.your right Rome wasn't built in a day. and we didn't become this way over night either(they way we were before we began this plan) 

  

yeah acid reflux sure puts a damper on things --(I go threw that as well) 

  

your words have helped me as well. 

  

I will work at not being so hard on myself. 

  

it is both my pleasure and honor to be your friend 

  

  

Vickie 

 
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August 20, 2005, 2:37 am PDT

karen

Quote From: pg__smiley

Here it is the beginning of another weekend, I am amazed just how fast the week really goes...I'm on day 2 of my WLC plan, and am doing well...I weighed in this morning and was surprised to see 6 pounds gone in one day, so we know this was fluid...the bloating and lethargy has left and I feel great today... 

 

So I lost that 5 pound bag of carrots so am working on a 10 pound bag of lard now...as lard represents fat to me and I struggle with margarine , oils etc..so the lard is next to go..and so fitting..ha ha.. I am on the road to good health and peace of mind once again...I am finding it easier now since I put my frame of mind in a new mode....A mode for success, and positivity...Diana when you mentioned about circumstances etc and finding new ways to cope you are so right..and I have a host of new ways now...been really working on this...The rivers are flowing , but brings healing too...smiling...never wept so much as I have these past 2 days...and I am feeling washed clean by my own tears...I have held so many things on the back burner and it caused me to continually jump into the "fires of gluttony.." NO MORE>..  Yes, I will be OK...lol.. 

 

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, and yet still posts their support and keeps in touch...for this Key 7 is so important...I know I too have been guilty of just reading and not posting sometimes...thinking I have not much to share...but just in being here with and for each other , this is what it is truly about.... Hugs and love, 

Karen 

WOW 6 lbs gone just like that---Congrats!!! 

  

Oh so wonderful to hear your begin to heal !! proud of you for allowing yourself to take this step. 

  

I had a ok day yesterday- 

  

  

Your right  being here with and for each other is what it is all about. 

  

  

Vickie 

  

  

  

  

  

 
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August 20, 2005, 2:58 am PDT

Karen

I too am guilty of beginning to post here less often(before my hands began hurting worse) but for reasons different then you expressed. 

  

I wasn't happy when I was coming here less.I just convinced myself that was what was best. 

  

It might have been for some but it wasn't for me.I fell in that habit of not pleasing myself,and putting someone else wishes before my own. 

  

but I'm not doing that anymore. 

  

As soon as my hands are up to it --I will be posting full force again. 

until then I plan to post as often as I can. 

  

Vickie 

 
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