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Topic : 07/24 Secret Love

Number of Replies: 330
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Created on : Friday, February 09, 2007, 02:40:54 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/13/07) In a marriage, an affair is the ultimate betrayal. But imagine finding out that your husband was cheating on you with your sister! Bettie says her husband, John, destroyed her trust when he had a six-month relationship with her sister, Molly -- an affair that occurred in Bettie’s own house. John says his act of infidelity happened nearly two years ago, and he’s over it, but he doesn’t understand why Bettie just can’t let it go. Then Molly, who has been watching backstage, joins her sister and brother-in-law. Find out why Molly says John is not the man Bettie thinks he is. Plus, Bettie’s mom, Virginia, overheard a secret phone call between Molly and John and says she doesn’t know why Bettie married John in the first place. Will Bettie’s lingering feelings of betrayal and mistrust destroy her relationship with her sister? Will she be able to forgive her husband and move past his affair? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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February 9, 2007, 3:50 pm CST

02/13 Secret Love

WOW! That is so sad and I think she needs to leave him and find someone better!  As for her sister If I was her I would never trust my sister again! Its a sin to cheat and its wrong!  A person don't need to be married. If they are going to cheat!!  She needs to leave him behind and start over.  Praying for her!!
 
February 10, 2007, 3:05 pm CST

Accept it or Leave it!

Once the Infedelity Virus enters the relationship, both parties must agree on one of only two choices;  ACCEPT THE SITUATION or LEAVE THE SITUATION!

 

In order to forgive, work things out and continue the relationship, you MUST AGREE WITH YOURSELF, that you will ACCEPT, put up with, and endure your travel on a whole, new road of a relationship and ALL kinds of new obstacles, that WILL spring up along the way!

 

The offended will become more angry and struggle with suspicion and jelousy, while the offender will be more passive and struggle to tolerate their partner's new behavior.  Bless you, if you are strong enough to handle that struggle and Bless you if you are wise to LEAVE IT!

 

A friend of mine once told me, "Their was one infidelity in our marriage, when my husband had an affair with my cousin, who is a model in Europe.  We've worked through it and I struggled with forgiveness for the following two years, but our relationship has gotten better."  I then asked her, "Are you absolutely sure that things are better?  And, are you sure that he's not fooling around anymore?"  Needless to say, those questions did, pretty much end our friendship.  But, I heard from another, that the couple did divorce for unknown reasons.

 
February 10, 2007, 7:50 pm CST

02/13 Secret Love

You know, this is the ULTIMATE betrayal by two people you should be able to TRUST implicitly.

I thought about it, and you know, there would be no going back for either of them.

An affair with a stranger, that I had no connection with, well I could probably forgive and move forward, but my sister ? NO WAY, that would be it, he would have to go, and she wouldn't be a part of mylife either, sounds harsh I know, but there are some lines one should NEVER cross

 

 
February 11, 2007, 1:55 pm CST

blood is supposed to be thicker than water

Although forgiveness is always possible and be a personal goal (we take back our power when we forgive), there is never any excuse for a sister to turn on a sister (or brother to turn on a brother, etc).

 

As the saying goes, "Blood is thicker than water." Or at least that's the way it's supposed to be. I believe it would take me years and years before I could learn to forgive my sister had she cheated with my husband. His wrong would hurt me so much, but my sister's wrong would about kill me!

 
February 11, 2007, 3:18 pm CST

secret love

Quote From: ceildh1

You know, this is the ULTIMATE betrayal by two people you should be able to TRUST implicitly.

I thought about it, and you know, there would be no going back for either of them.

An affair with a stranger, that I had no connection with, well I could probably forgive and move forward, but my sister ? NO WAY, that would be it, he would have to go, and she wouldn't be a part of mylife either, sounds harsh I know, but there are some lines one should NEVER cross

 

 

I think you are brilliant!!!  I totally agree

What a hard slap in the face for the wife...... I think it would take alot of on-going therapy for this to have a chance... and even still ( it wouldn't be me)

 

her sister???  i'm almost speechless...... what a sin. I hope in the end this women has the strength to take care of herself.

 

love & thought's from canada xoxo

 
February 11, 2007, 6:31 pm CST

02/13 Secret Love

I had my x-husband do the same thing with my sister twice while we were married...in 20 yrs of marriage to him i found out about numerous affairs and i finally got the courage to divorce him after he met a woman on the computer and left me for her ...he now lives in new mexico which is not far enoug for me, but i deal with it and im much better off without him..
 
February 11, 2007, 6:34 pm CST

02/13 Secret Love

Quote From: ocean1999

 

I think you are brilliant!!!  I totally agree

What a hard slap in the face for the wife...... I think it would take alot of on-going therapy for this to have a chance... and even still ( it wouldn't be me)

 

her sister???  i'm almost speechless...... what a sin. I hope in the end this women has the strength to take care of herself.

 

love & thought's from canada xoxo

Every time I read that blurb, I think "what would keep here there after that ?"

I figure there's enough competition out there without adding relations and friends, it would be the same if he did it with my best friend, see ya both.

Off topic, but I have to ask, East or West coast, something in your post makes me suspect East.

 
February 11, 2007, 8:20 pm CST

Why has this even been made into a show?

As good 'ole Dr Phil says - "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out".
 
February 11, 2007, 8:21 pm CST

This is Sad

I just don't understand why she didn't see any signs????Or she just didn't want to see what was going. I Understand  her Hurt and distrust, I went throw it this pass year to a man in the Navy, We all Love our Military Men and Women and Trust....but deep down they are just people. and do dumb things too! If I was this young lady... Leave him! you and make it on your own, if you have children you can do it!.. he will never stop, there will always be someone ... and it won't be you.... Have pride in your self Be strong.....your better then he is  and will ever be!

God Bless You.

 
February 11, 2007, 8:41 pm CST

It's just so confusin

Why are so many couples having to deal with infidelity?  It is a total selfish and self-centered action.  Are we so concerned about 'the moment' that we can't see the affect it has in the long run?  A sister should never harm a sibling in this way.  And for it to continue for so long.  My heart goes out to the wife.  It is hard enough dealing with infidelity when it is with someone you don't know; but to have to face your sister and KNOW what she has done with your husband.  I don't believe I could continue in the marriage..He'd have to be very forgiving, loving, supportive and earn my trust; which would take a long time.  I just hope she can learn to be strong, no matter what choice she makes.  It is all so very sad and all too common in this world.  When will we start to respect and treat each other as we wish to be treated?   mmarie
 
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