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Topic : 02/14 Valentine Troubles

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Created on : Friday, February 09, 2007, 02:42:55 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you ready for Valentine's Day, or are you feeling romantically challenged? Dr. Phil joins with Robin in tackling romance dilemmas. First up, Thomas is obsessed with deer hunting and is often away from home practicing his sport, including on Valentine's Day. His girlfriend, Carlye, wonders if he will ever make their relationship top priority. Will she have her answer after the show? Next, Darla wishes her husband, Allen, would get some help in the romance department. He proposed to her over the phone and took her to Oktoberfest for their honeymoon! Allen has a special message for Darla, and Dr. Phil surprises the couple with a Valentine's Day gift that will give them another chance to celebrate their wedding night and honeymoon. Then, two wives get makeovers: one goes from school marm to sexy siren, and the other ditches her mud mask and flannel muumuus for some posh pajamas. Will their new looks be just what their husbands had hoped for? Plus, if you're looking for the perfect Valentine's Day gift for the man or woman in your life, you won't want to miss the fun ideas and giveaways! And, a Grammy-winner performs a song guaranteed to melt your heart. Share your own Valentine stories and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 13, 2007, 12:34 pm CST

Happy Valentine's Anniversary

Quote From: calammers1

God has blessed me with my true forever valentine. We will celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary this valentines day. We've been together for 10 years. I met him through my oldest daughter while getting out of my second very abusive marriage. He quickly became a close friend and confident before becoming my valentine. Iwas even a grandmother twice over when we met and he was already friends with all four of my adult children. I am ten years older than him . When we became romantically envolved my children all said we were a perfect match but that it was hard to imagine him as a step-dad because he was their friend. But through the years they have all come to refer to him as "Pa"  ( and he refers to them as his sons and daughters )and even my daughters both wanted him to walk them down the isle when they got married. We've been through some really hard times and thr worst was when our 25 year old son unexspectantly passed on to be with God 6/3/05. We never had a honeymoon when we married and the very next morning after we married our pregnant daughter unexspectantly knocked on our door needing to move in. We can't affor to spend any money to celebrate  our Valetine anniversary bt it won't stop us from praisn and thanking God for blessing us with each other.Through the passing on of our son we realize life is very shohere on earth.

My husband and I are celebrating our 26th wedding anniversary on Valentine's Day.  We also didn't get a honeymoon..the wedding went smoothly, but the honeymoon was a disaster.  We had planned a ski vacation.  The snow was great the day of our wedding.  We were to stay in my grandmother's house (she went to LA every winter, so the house was empty.)  I was young and inexperienced with meat preservation.  Well, the snow melted, and the Schweitzer ski area snow report said "the snow has melted...bring your waders...we're having a beer party!!"  Also, my grandmother's house was full of spiders...moved in out of the cold for the winter, I guess.  So, we decided to go home (a house we had just purchased...boxes everywhere).  We weren't going to tell anybody that we were back in town...just have some time to ourselves.  Well, on the way back home, our car broke down...engine was ruined...that was back in the times before cell phones.  The highway wasn't a very busy road, and it was hardly ever patrolled by the State Patrol.  Several cars went by, and nobody stopped.  Then, a car full of drunk salesmen stopped for us, and they ran their car into the ditch.  After that, several cars stopped because they thought there had been an accident.  We were determined not to call our relatives, as we wanted to keep our return to town a secret.  We got a tow truck to take us and our car home.  Well, we forgot that my sister's husband was feeding our coal furnace while we were gone.  The morning after our car disaster, he showed up at 6:00 AM to take care of the furnace.  We asked him NOT to tell anybody else that we were back, but word quickly got out.  My mother-in-law, who had trouble letting go, drove by and saw that we were home.  Needless to say, we didn't get any time to ourselves.  We never did get that honeymoon, and like you, we can't afford to do much of a celebration...just a nice dinner at home with our three boys.

 

We have been through many hardships and medical disasters over the years...our annual medical bill last year was $20,000, and that is the average amount that we spend on medical every year.  This year is a special anniversary because I survived breast cancer in 2006, and have had 6 surgeries in the last year.  I feel very thankful to God for every day that I have with my husband.  We are thankful that we found each other.

 

On our local Christian radio station recently, there was a program about marriage.  The saying from that program that sticks with me the most is that "sucessful marriage consists of two forgivers."  That is so true.  If partners are constantly holding grudges, it will just build up and end badly.  I think that so many couples don't work hard enough at staying together...they jump ship at the first sign of hardship and disagreement.  "Love endures all things"...compromise, forgiveness, and love.

 

The sex went away a long time ago...unfortunate, but my husband's health issues make us unable to have that aspect anymore.  I would like to have more intimacy though.  We are the best of friends, but at bedtime, we talk a little, and then we just go to sleep.  We have lots of good conversations, and we watch TV together.  Date nights are few an far between...no money, and the kids need the "homework police" around to make sure that they complete their assignments.  We have lost touch with the intimate side, but our love for each other is strong, and we are committed for life.  I'm sure that we are not the only married couple in this situation.  We just don't know how to get it back.  The sex isn't really that imortant in our relationship.

 
February 13, 2007, 1:12 pm CST

valentine troubles

Quote From: fotoman1133406

  Well, I'm on the other side of the fence, I can't find anyone that will commit.

My late wife, when we met/married was 310lbs., had arthritis, chronic pain and several other problems. Through our yrs. together, some more medical/health issues came into play. At her passing, she was 415lbs, about 100 was fluid. I can be reached, if you wish...fotoman98203@gmail.com  or  fotoman1133406 yahoo im

I have the same problem only it has been 20ys. Now I am on oxygen 24/7 so it is harder to get out and besides who would I attract??? I am waiting for a lung transplant I hope then to get out and about. I do not think about valentines day. I have many other things to worry about. Right now I have a sprained wrist so it is hard to type. Susan
 
February 13, 2007, 3:08 pm CST

02/14 Valentine Troubles

Quote From: mustbecrazy

My husband and I are celebrating our 26th wedding anniversary on Valentine's Day.  We also didn't get a honeymoon..the wedding went smoothly, but the honeymoon was a disaster.  We had planned a ski vacation.  The snow was great the day of our wedding.  We were to stay in my grandmother's house (she went to LA every winter, so the house was empty.)  I was young and inexperienced with meat preservation.  Well, the snow melted, and the Schweitzer ski area snow report said "the snow has melted...bring your waders...we're having a beer party!!"  Also, my grandmother's house was full of spiders...moved in out of the cold for the winter, I guess.  So, we decided to go home (a house we had just purchased...boxes everywhere).  We weren't going to tell anybody that we were back in town...just have some time to ourselves.  Well, on the way back home, our car broke down...engine was ruined...that was back in the times before cell phones.  The highway wasn't a very busy road, and it was hardly ever patrolled by the State Patrol.  Several cars went by, and nobody stopped.  Then, a car full of drunk salesmen stopped for us, and they ran their car into the ditch.  After that, several cars stopped because they thought there had been an accident.  We were determined not to call our relatives, as we wanted to keep our return to town a secret.  We got a tow truck to take us and our car home.  Well, we forgot that my sister's husband was feeding our coal furnace while we were gone.  The morning after our car disaster, he showed up at 6:00 AM to take care of the furnace.  We asked him NOT to tell anybody else that we were back, but word quickly got out.  My mother-in-law, who had trouble letting go, drove by and saw that we were home.  Needless to say, we didn't get any time to ourselves.  We never did get that honeymoon, and like you, we can't afford to do much of a celebration...just a nice dinner at home with our three boys.

 

We have been through many hardships and medical disasters over the years...our annual medical bill last year was $20,000, and that is the average amount that we spend on medical every year.  This year is a special anniversary because I survived breast cancer in 2006, and have had 6 surgeries in the last year.  I feel very thankful to God for every day that I have with my husband.  We are thankful that we found each other.

 

On our local Christian radio station recently, there was a program about marriage.  The saying from that program that sticks with me the most is that "sucessful marriage consists of two forgivers."  That is so true.  If partners are constantly holding grudges, it will just build up and end badly.  I think that so many couples don't work hard enough at staying together...they jump ship at the first sign of hardship and disagreement.  "Love endures all things"...compromise, forgiveness, and love.

 

The sex went away a long time ago...unfortunate, but my husband's health issues make us unable to have that aspect anymore.  I would like to have more intimacy though.  We are the best of friends, but at bedtime, we talk a little, and then we just go to sleep.  We have lots of good conversations, and we watch TV together.  Date nights are few an far between...no money, and the kids need the "homework police" around to make sure that they complete their assignments.  We have lost touch with the intimate side, but our love for each other is strong, and we are committed for life.  I'm sure that we are not the only married couple in this situation.  We just don't know how to get it back.  The sex isn't really that imortant in our relationship.

I miss Sandpoint, it's a cute little town. =)  A nice stop on the way to Schweitzer.

 

How come you didn't go to 49 degrees north or Mt. Spokane?  I have heard people say that Schweitzer does have better runs. 

 

It's just nice to see that someone else on here has heard of Schweitzer. LOL

 
February 13, 2007, 3:56 pm CST

02/14 Valentine Troubles

Quote From: xsmrxx

I have the same problem only it has been 20ys. Now I am on oxygen 24/7 so it is harder to get out and besides who would I attract??? I am waiting for a lung transplant I hope then to get out and about. I do not think about valentines day. I have many other things to worry about. Right now I have a sprained wrist so it is hard to type. Susan
  Hey, do you know what your blood type is? Mines A-. If we match, you need a lung, let's go. This is no joke, my late wife was a very giving, caring person.I could'nt help  my late wife with a kidney, but maybe I can help you with a lung, if we match. I guess, I'd being do this in the name of three people; My late wife and I(we taught one another lessons in life) and you. Maybe Dr. Phil can help.
 
February 13, 2007, 4:52 pm CST

Schweitzer

Quote From: elffie

I miss Sandpoint, it's a cute little town. =)  A nice stop on the way to Schweitzer.

 

How come you didn't go to 49 degrees north or Mt. Spokane?  I have heard people say that Schweitzer does have better runs. 

 

It's just nice to see that someone else on here has heard of Schweitzer. LOL

I grew up on Schweitzer...learned to ski at age 5.  When my husband and I started cross-country skiing, we switched to Mt. Spokane...really nice trails.  That was when we lived in Spokane.  Now we live in Central Washington, so we enjoy cross-country skiing in the sno-parks on White Pass.  White Pass Ski Area has a really nice cross-country trail, but we haven't tried it...costs too much.  The sno-park requires  a season pass that costs $15 for the whole year.  We've never been to 49 degrees North. 

 

Cross-country skiing is a fun family activity...certainly not the same as a "date night"...would like to get out once in ahwile without the kids...our idea of a date is to go grocery shopping, and try the samples at Costco.

 

Oh well, can't complain...at least my husband is home every night, and he doesn't like hunting or football.  No Valentine's day troubles this year...we make our cards to each other on the computer and avoid the crowds...it's a way for my husband to save face if he were ever to forget...LOL

 

Our family is in the Schweitzer 50th anniversary book...I am one of 12 kids.  We got a family season pass every year...we had the cheapest rate per person on our ski passes in the whole history of Schweitzer.

 

Back to the subject of romance, since this is a Valentine's day board, we have none...LOL  We could use a little help in the romance department...we love each other very much...married 26 years...anybody have any suggestions on how to get the romance back into our marriage??  It seems difficult to shift gears and get romantic...besides, we have a small house and not much privacy...we do have a lock on the bedroom door, but the walls are not sound proof...besides, we are both so tired by the end of the day, we just want to go to sleep.

 
February 13, 2007, 6:08 pm CST

Romance

Quote From: mustbecrazy

I grew up on Schweitzer...learned to ski at age 5.  When my husband and I started cross-country skiing, we switched to Mt. Spokane...really nice trails.  That was when we lived in Spokane.  Now we live in Central Washington, so we enjoy cross-country skiing in the sno-parks on White Pass.  White Pass Ski Area has a really nice cross-country trail, but we haven't tried it...costs too much.  The sno-park requires  a season pass that costs $15 for the whole year.  We've never been to 49 degrees North. 

 

Cross-country skiing is a fun family activity...certainly not the same as a "date night"...would like to get out once in ahwile without the kids...our idea of a date is to go grocery shopping, and try the samples at Costco.

 

Oh well, can't complain...at least my husband is home every night, and he doesn't like hunting or football.  No Valentine's day troubles this year...we make our cards to each other on the computer and avoid the crowds...it's a way for my husband to save face if he were ever to forget...LOL

 

Our family is in the Schweitzer 50th anniversary book...I am one of 12 kids.  We got a family season pass every year...we had the cheapest rate per person on our ski passes in the whole history of Schweitzer.

 

Back to the subject of romance, since this is a Valentine's day board, we have none...LOL  We could use a little help in the romance department...we love each other very much...married 26 years...anybody have any suggestions on how to get the romance back into our marriage??  It seems difficult to shift gears and get romantic...besides, we have a small house and not much privacy...we do have a lock on the bedroom door, but the walls are not sound proof...besides, we are both so tired by the end of the day, we just want to go to sleep.

Romance comes in many forms, certainly not just about sex ( though that's a good beenfit,LOL)candle lit dinner is nice, doesn't have to be anything fance, one year, I cooked up some leftovers, decorated the coffee table, put 2 candles in the middle of the table and served dinner for hubbbya nd me, it was nice. Snuggling in front of the tube, with popcorn is fun, We haven't done this one for a very long time as I don't watch tv any more but it does sound good, I would like tog et a nice romantic movie and snuggle up ina warm blankie together...........

Maybe some quiet romantic Cd while you and hubby read old love letters/cards together. Anotehr thing hubby and I like doing is walking the mall, browsing and holding hands and sharing a dessert together, or just got o a quiet favorite restaurante and havea  nice meal together and another thing hubby and I used to do is sit and play a board game together, doesn't really sound romantic but it can turn into romance,LOLLLLLL

I understand that it can be hard to be romantic at times, we have two little ones and it can be challenging, but it isn't impossible, get that imagination a workin,LOLLLLLLL



 
February 13, 2007, 10:02 pm CST

organ donation

Quote From: fotoman1133406

  Hey, do you know what your blood type is? Mines A-. If we match, you need a lung, let's go. This is no joke, my late wife was a very giving, caring person.I could'nt help  my late wife with a kidney, but maybe I can help you with a lung, if we match. I guess, I'd being do this in the name of three people; My late wife and I(we taught one another lessons in life) and you. Maybe Dr. Phil can help.

Do they do lung transplants from living donors??  I'm so sorry to hear about your wife...it sounds like you and she loved each other very much.  How long were you married?  Do something special in your wife's memory for Valentine's Day...make a card, write a poem, make a donation to the kidney foundation, visit her grave...anything that will make you feel better.  Wow, you would actually give up a lung for a complete stranger? 

 
February 13, 2007, 10:10 pm CST

romance

Quote From: jettav

Romance comes in many forms, certainly not just about sex ( though that's a good beenfit,LOL)candle lit dinner is nice, doesn't have to be anything fance, one year, I cooked up some leftovers, decorated the coffee table, put 2 candles in the middle of the table and served dinner for hubbbya nd me, it was nice. Snuggling in front of the tube, with popcorn is fun, We haven't done this one for a very long time as I don't watch tv any more but it does sound good, I would like tog et a nice romantic movie and snuggle up ina warm blankie together...........

Maybe some quiet romantic Cd while you and hubby read old love letters/cards together. Anotehr thing hubby and I like doing is walking the mall, browsing and holding hands and sharing a dessert together, or just got o a quiet favorite restaurante and havea  nice meal together and another thing hubby and I used to do is sit and play a board game together, doesn't really sound romantic but it can turn into romance,LOLLLLLL

I understand that it can be hard to be romantic at times, we have two little ones and it can be challenging, but it isn't impossible, get that imagination a workin,LOLLLLLLL



When you put it into that context, I guess maybe we're more romantic than I thought...we don't have a lot of money, but we still manage to spend time together.  We both enjoy listening to CDs and watching videos.  Most of the time we spend together is with the kids.  We love being involved in their lives.  We have three boys, 18, 13 and 8.  It is a challenge to get them all to do their homework and get to bed on time.  By the time that is all done, we are just worn out.

 

We do enjoy watching TV together, but there isn't much time after the oldest son goes to bed, and like I said, the walls are thin.

 

My husband's health problems prevent us from having actual sex, but kissing and caressing would be nice...for now it's TV and popcorn, and the occasional trip to Costco.  Maybe it's time to get out the sexy lingere...eeek!! now that's scary...LOL

 
February 14, 2007, 1:36 am CST

proposed on the phone?

I'm currently watching this particular show on AFN. I had to laugh when I saw the guy that proposed over the phone. My husband is in the military. I lived in Oklahoma while we were dating, and he just been stationed at Fort Hood Texas. 98% of our dating relationship was spent over the phone. I met him while he was home on leave, from AIT, and he was then in Maryland. We talked to each other at least twice a day! When he was stationed at Fort Hood, he would drive the 7 hours to come and visit me every two weeks. On Feb. 12th 2002 he called me and told me we needed to talk when he got home later that weekend. He told me that he had a three day weekend and would be coming home on Thursday instead of Friday. I asked him what he wanted to talk about and he simply said, that he didn't want to do it over the phone. Well that Thursday happened to be Valentine's Day. I went to work the next two days, terrified that I was getting dumped on a holiday that I could barely tolerate as it was. I worried about it for two days, trying to get him to dump me over the phone, and not to do it on Valentine's Day. He would only say, I don't want to do it over the phone. He called me on Thursday the 14th, while I was at work, and I was begging him to just get it over with. I was sooooo scared that he was breaking up with me! After about 15 minutes of me nagging, and him trying to convince me that I was not getting dumped, he blurted out, I was going to ask you to marry me!! I was so shocked that I dropped the phone. My co-worker picked it up, and talked to him for a couple minutes, before she started hollering that he was NOT supposed to propose over the phone!! He more than made up for it, late that night. He showed up at my door with a ring, and asked me to marry him again. We got married a little over a month later, because he didn't want to wait. We will be celebrating 5 years on the 21st of next month! (See, proposing over the phone CAN be romantic, kind of.) 
 
February 14, 2007, 1:51 am CST

Valentine troubles

Quote From: elffie

I miss Sandpoint, it's a cute little town. =)  A nice stop on the way to Schweitzer.

 

How come you didn't go to 49 degrees north or Mt. Spokane?  I have heard people say that Schweitzer does have better runs. 

 

It's just nice to see that someone else on here has heard of Schweitzer. LOL

Where is Schweitzer in the U.S.?  I come from Melbourne Australia and I know where your major cities are on the map.  I also watch a lot of news from your Fox channel and I pretty well keep up with most of your major news. Here we are experiencing hot and very dry conditions and are in the grip of drought.   Maria3255 
 
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