Topic : 06/26 The Young and the Reckless

how about you take a second and try to think about maybe what these girls have been through!

Yes some of them are liars but others really dont want to live. They have been thru rape,molestation, physical abuse, and just dont want to live. Dont be so quick to judge. I would pay anything to die but I am trying to stay strong.

&&& my goal in life is to be happy what is life about then??????? All you do is die and go to hell and burn whew! fun. I am not worth enough to stop this stuff. Its not worth it. I dont no why I was made when your son had to die he was a good person most likely and I am not. He deserves my life. and believe me I WISH he had it.

I'm willing to bet that 99% of these girls activities are for nothing more but attention! But I cant say that I wasnt far off from acting the same way these girls did when I was 18. My dad got sick when I was 17 and I lost all the attention he used to give me, so I did what I had to do to seek out attention the fastest way I could find it! For me it was to show up at the clubs wearing little clothing and finding out that if you pay the bar tender a fair amount of attention, you can drink all you want for free and never be carded! But guess what? Every night when I went home either alone or with some jerk who just followed me because I was an easy target, I realized really fast that NO ONE WILL BUY THE COW IF THEY CAN GET THE MILK FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!! Once I started wearing more conservative clothing, and started acting like a young lady I found that a whole new crowd accepted me for who i was and not how much skin I was showing, or how reckless I was acting! I was so sick of guys only showing me attention when I was half dressed, and when they would follow me home and I would tell them "NO" that was the last I would hear from them!! I hope these girls wake up and see that no one will respect them if they continue to act the way they do.  Not long after I cleaned my act up, I met a really nice guy who wasnt just after one thing.....He opened the door for me, sent me flowers, and called me every time he said he would!! We have been happily married for 7 years. But my point is that you have to respect yourself before others are going to show you any respect! 

I don't care if those girls went thru hell...that doesn't give them the right to drive drunk and endanger lives.  When were talking about her safety, i won't judge, when were talking about MY FAMILY AND MY safety, I'll judge.  Nothing gives them the right to take away someone else's life just because they decided to be stupid.  That's called being accountable for your actions.

They're about to throw their lives away (and possibly OTHER PEOPLE"S) just because LIFE SUCKS.  Everyone has problems...but they use other coping mechanisms besides self destruction.  That's why they go to therapy.  Hang in there, rock bottom is a college education!

After my dad left, my friend comitted suicide, and another friend died in a car accident, I started skipping classes, my 6 years of honor roll were cut short when I failed two classes in gr11, and I just barely graduated. I started doing hard drugs when I was 17, and did not stop after high school. It was too easy, my dad(authority figure) was out of the picture, my mom was too depressed and concerned with her divorce to care, we moved to a bigger city where I met new people who didn't care about me, they just liked to do the same drugs and go out drinking with me. I thought nothing could stop me either. Nothing stopped me from drinking and driving, until the day I drove over a curb in my car and ripped out the under carriage.Nothing stopped me from using until I got busted with drugs and slapped with a summons to appear in court to get charged.

It wasn't until the moment I was getting a summons that I understood the gravity of my actions and what the hell I was doing to myself and everyone around me. I will never forget that day for the rest of my life and how helpless I was. Watching my future slip through my own hands has never made me cry so hard in my life. My firend always said that everything happens for a reason, and now that I can reflect back on my past I know that the reason for my accident and my summons was to stop my self destructive behavior. I was trying to numb the pain of my father leaving and my friends' deaths by subsatnce abuse.

Since then I have cut every one of the people who trigger that behavior out of my life, I can't control the situation, but I can control whether or not I am involved in it, and I do not go to raves, or special dj's at clubs, I have deleted their numbers, and I am going to university. I had to upgrade my grades to get in because I for 1, was not satisfied with my marks, they were not up to my standards, and 2, I needed better marks to get in. I have been the top of a few classes now, which I am more proud of now than in my earlier years because I know how hard I have worked to be there. I am paying for my education by myself and not blaming my parents divorce anymore for why I could not go. I have a good boyfriend who doesn't do drugs!!! And most importantly I have found my way back to God again, which is the best part of the whole experience, and I truly believe that it was because of Him, that I am who I am today and that I got back on track.

The scariest thing about it all, is that my future is still in the hands of a judge, but I have faith in God that whatever is decided is His decision and part of His plan for me. I am stronger now than I ever was and I respect myself so much more, and I pray these girls and all other people in their situation can overcome this. 

Our 18-year-old daughter got pregnant in her senior year of high school.  Although we were disappointed, we gave her our support -- she lives with us rent-free in an in-law unit on our property that we remodeled for her and the new baby, pays for no utilities or food, and has let boys into her home (3 times we caught them there, watching TV or sleeping on her couch) so now she has to live back with us in the main house.  At 5 months pregnant, she decided she didn't want to work any more so she quit her part-time job so she could go on disability, then welfare.  She had her baby, of which we have taken legal guardianship to protect him, then this year she started community college so we paid for her tuition and textbooks (this first semester only; but if she fails to get good grades then she's on her own from here on out), and a relative cares for the baby during the day while she is at school.  She has no car, so she must use public transportation but most of the time she gets relatives (others, not us) to chauffeur her back and forth.

We will not buy her a car; she has to save her money for it, and the insurance, and gas.  We won't put her on our insurance or let her drive our vehicles because she has done drugs (ecstasy, marijuana) and we want to minimize our exposure to the liability.  She complains about the food we have in the house because we don't have enough junk food and frozen dinners.

Recently we drew a line in the sand.  We stopped rescuing her, and we have detached ourselves from her.  She still lives with us, and of course the baby will always be protected since we have custody, but we have stopped allowing her irresponsibility to control our life.  For example, she must find her own way to school if she is not ready in time for us to drop her off on our way to work.  No nagging, no reminders, no waiting on her; if she is not in the car with us by 7:30 then we leave.  If she comes out of the house at 7:31, too bad, we are already gone.

Believe me, it works!  We now have peace in our home.  There is no more drama and no more raised voices, not even by her.  It's wonderful to calmly say "no" to someone once we finally realize that we, not the other person, are in charge.

By my story, I would like to let you know that there is hope for you.  I say "for you," because right now you need to start taking care of you, and stop trying to rescue your daughter.  The hope, however, lies in doing a very difficult thing:  detaching yourself from your daughter.  Let her get attached to God or the devil, but detach YOURSELF from her.

You have done your part, you have spent the last few years parenting her while she has failed to live up to her responsibilities.  Continue to love her, but love her enough to allow her to fail and then grow for a change.

To protect the sanctity of your home, to protect the other family members, you need to remove this toxic person from the home so that peace and sanity may be restored.  If not physically, by throwing her out, then mentally by ignoring her and her threats to which you have become hostage.

The next time she has a brush with the law, leave her where she finds herself; do not rescue her from jail, from the courthouse, or from where she got pulled over.

The next time anyone -- ANYONE -- in your family bails out your daughter, drive her to their house and plant her on their doorstep, with a simple, "You want to rescue her, fine; she's all yours.  Good luck!"

I would recommend the book, Codependent No More, by Melodie Beatty.  It's a classic. Forgive me for giving advice without being asked, but I hope you will do these things and finally live.

To be honest, you are only what, eighteen, you have EVERYTHING to live for, you may not see it now, but you will, but you cannot do it alone.

PLEASE get help for yourself, its not too late, I promise you that, is there ANYONE in your life, a grandparent, friend whatever that can help you find your way ?  " No man is an Island " I wish I knew who said that, but its true, what you need is SUPPORT, even if it is some stranger on a message board, been there done that, burnt the T- shirt.

The first thing you need, is find SOMEONE you can talk to, I know some parents well there's no talking to them, are you still in High School? See your guidance counsellar, that's what they're there for, they help kids in crisis, and give them resources.

Secondly, see a Doctor about your obvious depression, you have the right to privacy, and they are bound by laws of Confidentiality, so your parents need never know.

Go to a rape crisis centre, they want to help girls like you, it dosen't matter if it was yesterday or four years ago, that was NOT in any way shape or form YOUR FAULT, and suicide prevention would be another option, you can speak to someone right over the phone.

Things go wrong, people screw up, that's life my mother used to tell me a mistake is only a mistake if you learn from it, taking pills, okay mistake now what have you learned ? Did they make you feel better, maybe for a short time but with every boom, comes a bust and with drugs that bust is always worse than it needs to be.

You are young, and you're making mistakes, that dosen't make you a Horrible person, you sound lost and confused, but bad or rotten, no because consider this, many of us get past this, we do, and go on to be happy healthy adults, but we don't do it alone.

PLEASE, REACH OUT!

Driving drunk is not the right thing to do,I could relate to the drinking going out to club's and bar's

after 3 D.U.I's Ihad to make a choice my two kid's and my life or do I want to spend the rest of my life in jail or prison or driving drunk and killing my kid's or some family. I saw  an accident a few year's ago my son was 3 and I had just had a baby,we had just got through eating pizza on mother's day as we were heading home we were half way there we came on an accident ,my

god there were 5 bodies scattered on the road 3adults and2 children,children's ages were3yrs old a beautiful little girl and a 5yr old boy.I personally sat with the 3 yr old little girl.she was pretty much dead but with her last few brearth's I told her if she can here me that it is ok to go and not to be afraid god will be there to protect her and that I wont leave her side for a moment she grunted

once then died her 5 yr old brother was already dead,her mom was dead as well as a family friend who was just going to graduate from high school in just a few week's.The father of those kid's was the one who was driving while under the influence of alcohol. He survived with only a

broken leg.There was a 8 month old baby left at home thank god,my point is ladies don't drink and drive.I could of caused something like that if I didn't stop drinking and driving.WAKE UP LADIES.I've put my self in rehab a few year's ago in a place that takes children,and got sober.

There is no other way to control drinking,you need to just stop.As far as I'm concern drug's and alcohol is the same it all lead's to jail's, institution's ,and death.