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Topic : 07/23 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 3

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Created on : Friday, February 09, 2007, 02:49:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/12/07) Three couples continue an intensive workshop with Dr. Phil, in a last-ditch effort to save their marriages. After almost getting kicked out of the house, Nic and Amanda sit down with Dr. Phil to discuss their biggest issues: their falling out with Nic’s mother, Amanda’s job as an exotic dancer and the affair she’s been having with a patron. With surprise visits from his mother and the man sleeping with his wife, Nic struggles with his emotions. Can he get everything on the table and find some closure? Will Amanda be unified with her husband and tell the other man that it’s over for good? Then, Cherie watches from another room as her husband, John, talks with Dr. Phil, but it's not long before she becomes outraged by what she hears. She joins the men to tell her side of the story. Plus, does an unexpected visit by Cherie’s mother make John pack up and leave? Join the discussion.

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February 12, 2007, 5:43 am CST

Man camp

I think they all need to grow up.... especially  when children are in the mix of things. I believe in a marriage everything should  be equal... if they both work then they should help each other with the house work and the children. When my husband and I both worked  we would do the chores together. If I was off I would do the house work and get dinner ready. If he was off he would clean house and get dinner. And as for stripping clothes off for a job... I would not  do that for a living there are to many decent jobs out there  instead of taking clothes of for a living.. and the husband is just as much to blame as she is because he should have enough respect for his wife not to let her do it.  It is pure out degrading to women. And for the woman having the affair, if I was her husband I would have been gone long before now, because once they cheat they will always cheat.  I hope in the future they will all thing of the children first instead of their selves,,,,,
 
February 12, 2007, 5:56 am CST

02/12 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 3

Quote From: ceildh1

Maybe someone can help me here,

What is the point of the MIL'S coming in for their "Surprise" visits ?  I thought once you GREW UP, and moved out, what went on was none of their business, the Good Doc himself has told meddling in laws that very thing, if they want their Mother's help and support, then ask for it, seems to me that's blindsiding John and Amanda.The blurb did say these were suprise visits.

As for her dancing, big deal not like she's taking the kids to bring your kid to work day, and she does it when they are in bed, besides its perfectly LEGAL and there's money to be made.  BUT, if she works for a decent establishment, she could lose her job for sleeping with a Patron, many of these places frown upon that.  My husband agreed with Scott, " if you were sleeping with my wife, you wouldn't have made it two steps in the door.  I think though, this could've been and should've been handled better, I mean why should they share that moment with the others in the house, its none of their business, tell me would any of you want to have a party for that ?

I have read posts from the wives, whining about people bashing them, and I agree with the responses, you CHOSE this venue for your fifteen minutes, so get over it, if you chose to air your dirty laundry in public, then you chose to get the neighbors talking.

As for Nic crying, well who says he can't have emotions, he might act like a jerk, we all do, but he is entitled to cry, at least he's human.

"As for her dancing, big deal not like she's taking the kids to bring your kid to work day"....you made my point for me. She can't take her kids to work. What you do before you have kids is your own busines...what you do afterwards is theirs. Just let ONE kid find out what "mommy" does for a living, and her kids are going to live a nightmare at school. And since she chose such a public way to try to fix her marriage, it's highly likely that her kids are going to suffer from her choice of "profession". I feel badly for the kids in all of the marriages portrayed....

 
February 12, 2007, 5:58 am CST

I think they're trying to fix the non-existent relationship with the MIL.

Quote From: ceildh1

Maybe someone can help me here,

What is the point of the MIL'S coming in for their "Surprise" visits ?  I thought once you GREW UP, and moved out, what went on was none of their business, the Good Doc himself has told meddling in laws that very thing, if they want their Mother's help and support, then ask for it, seems to me that's blindsiding John and Amanda.The blurb did say these were suprise visits.

As for her dancing, big deal not like she's taking the kids to bring your kid to work day, and she does it when they are in bed, besides its perfectly LEGAL and there's money to be made.  BUT, if she works for a decent establishment, she could lose her job for sleeping with a Patron, many of these places frown upon that.  My husband agreed with Scott, " if you were sleeping with my wife, you wouldn't have made it two steps in the door.  I think though, this could've been and should've been handled better, I mean why should they share that moment with the others in the house, its none of their business, tell me would any of you want to have a party for that ?

I have read posts from the wives, whining about people bashing them, and I agree with the responses, you CHOSE this venue for your fifteen minutes, so get over it, if you chose to air your dirty laundry in public, then you chose to get the neighbors talking.

As for Nic crying, well who says he can't have emotions, he might act like a jerk, we all do, but he is entitled to cry, at least he's human.

I read that Amanda doesn't get along with her MIL, and Nic doesn't get along with his mother either.(She wasn't even invited to their wedding.) Evidently, she doesn't even have a relationship with her grandchildren. I guess with everything going on, they may have figured "What the heck, let's tackle this problem too!". I agree with you about the dancing and Nic crying. He's dealing with a lot of issues and crying is a normal outlet for pent-up emotions.
 
February 12, 2007, 7:42 am CST

02/12 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 3

I don't think it's fair for Phil to involve the other couples with each other's problems.  this is no place to point fingers, especially since THEY ALL have f'd  up marriages and lives.

 

AND, I get so tired of people coming down on strippers!  Who cares?  Obviously these babes make more money than their education and experience could ever provide for them.  Instead of downing them, how about offering some more positive advice about earning money another way?  Fortunately, many of us have enough [skill, education, experience, wealth, family/friend support,etc] that we never have to consider stripping.  But, making hundreds of dollars per night certainly sounds much better than making a hundred dollars per week flipping burgers. 

Truth is, until your back is against the wall, you don't know what you will do. 

 

And, why can't the husband work?  Obviously stripping is the best way he can think of to support his family so don't come on Dr Phil acting like you got a big problem with it!  didn't they meet in the strip bar?  he's pretty cute too!  Why isn't he stripping?

 

 

And are any of these marriages worth saving?  How can these people still want to be with each other?  In my house, my mantra is "I'm the the maid, the slave or the chef!"  my #2 mantra is "I matter too!"  What's wrong with these women????

 
February 12, 2007, 7:46 am CST

02/12 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 3

wow i was married to a woman kind of like amanda, lol my 2ed wife fell in love with a regular too  lol, he was a regular coffee drinker at the restaraunt she worked with, and a big speaker at all the AA meetings lol, hell i think i blew every ones mind with my actions, when my wife told me he was just a friend i knew better but i left a sleeping dog lie, it wasnt till our 3 year old son was sick that i really found out what was going on, i called where she worked as i was home with out a car , when i called to let her know i needed her to take off long enough to bring me the car was when i found out she was off that night, i was like wow, i called her brother to come over as i needed a way to get my kid to the emergency room , so he came running, while we were there getting my son looked after i told my brother in law what was going on, and he was pissed at his sister, when the doctor got done with my son and gave me the medicain i needed to get his fever down and we were leaving the hospital my brother in law asked me if i knew where that man lived at, and i told him no, but guess what happened then? my 3yr old som poped up and said daddy i know where he lives, and i was like what the f--k, how in the hell could a 3yr old possibly know this well hell she had already been taking our child over to his house with her  lol, the boy told us how to get there by telling us what streets to turn on as we looked  lol, i never in my wildest dreams thought a 3yr old could remember all that, but he did, when we got to the guys house no one was there but our car was parked beside his house in the dark  lol, i was ready to go i was hurt so bad , i knew just how dame stupid i had been, my brother in law told me i needed to beat her ass, but i knew that wouldnt make anything any better, instead i asked my wife how she felt about that man ,she told me she thought she loved him, so i told her to call him and see if he was ready for her to move in with him, she did he was so he thought  lol, hell i helped them pack her stuff up and shook his hand and wished him good luck, he looked at me with a smerk on his face till i told him he would need all he could get  lol, i was rite she took him for every thing she could, he got just what he deserved, and she did aswell, god answers prayers, i can vouch for that.
 
February 12, 2007, 8:07 am CST

02/12 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 3

I watched Mondays show. And it upset me that all the women attacked the stripper. I am a very open minded person. And I don't think her job had anything to do with her starting her affair. If she is in a stresseful marriage. and having problems she would have had an affair no matter were she worked. I work at walmart and there are so many affairs going on there you wouldn't belive it . It happens anywhere not just at a strip club. And I think most strippers are very couagouse to do what they do. I know its mostly for the money. I've been to the clubs around here and see how much they bring home a night. I would do it if I had the guts and the body. and i have a great marrige so i know my husband would not get upset be cause i make him feel secure enough. and he does the same for me. my point is an affair can happen anywhere. no matter where you work. its just up to you to decide what its gonna cost you in the long run. i see it every day at work. and think ther is not one person on this earth that is worth risking my marrige. even when i'm mad at him. lol. people just need to thing before acting.  i wish the best to all the women and men.
 
February 12, 2007, 8:09 am CST

02/12 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 3

I was once married to a man like John. Beleive me they don't change very easy. I was married for 6 yrs to my exhusband I truly believe men like John and my ex do and will never really like women. I was treated like  a slave then a wife.. John thinks his wife hides money . If she is she is smart I had to in mine. I had to pay all the bills and if I didnt hide the money in my house the bills won't not have been paid. I dont think John will every change they say they will but they dont.
 
February 12, 2007, 8:11 am CST

02/12 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 3

Quote From: iamvip

I don't think it's fair for Phil to involve the other couples with each other's problems.  this is no place to point fingers, especially since THEY ALL have f'd  up marriages and lives.

 

AND, I get so tired of people coming down on strippers!  Who cares?  Obviously these babes make more money than their education and experience could ever provide for them.  Instead of downing them, how about offering some more positive advice about earning money another way?  Fortunately, many of us have enough [skill, education, experience, wealth, family/friend support,etc that we never have to consider stripping.  But, making hundreds of dollars per night certainly sounds much better than making a hundred dollars per week flipping burgers. 

Truth is, until your back is against the wall, you don't know what you will do. 

 

And, why can't the husband work?  Obviously stripping is the best way he can think of to support his family so don't come on Dr Phil acting like you got a big problem with it!  didn't they meet in the strip bar?  he's pretty cute too!  Why isn't he stripping?

 

 

And are any of these marriages worth saving?  How can these people still want to be with each other?  In my house, my mantra is "I'm the the maid, the slave or the chef!"  my #2 mantra is "I matter too!"  What's wrong with these women????

oops!  I meant, I'm NOT the maid, the slave or the chef!!!!
 
February 12, 2007, 8:13 am CST

02/12 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 3

Quote From: rosie52

I read that Amanda doesn't get along with her MIL, and Nic doesn't get along with his mother either.(She wasn't even invited to their wedding.) Evidently, she doesn't even have a relationship with her grandchildren. I guess with everything going on, they may have figured "What the heck, let's tackle this problem too!". I agree with you about the dancing and Nic crying. He's dealing with a lot of issues and crying is a normal outlet for pent-up emotions.

Whew, Amanda and Nic....these 2 people are exhausting.  I have read and watched Dr. Phil council with the issue of unfaithfulness.  I have had some opportunity to deal with this first hand.  An individual can learn from infidelity, on either side of the coin.  Being the one cheated on changes a person forever.  There will always be a bigger doubt in Nic that Amanda will cheat again.  Odds are  if the unfaithfulness is forgiven, it will not be forgotten. 

 

Amanda will need to committ to be honest with him and realize he will need to ask her about this affair and the whys, whats and wheres from time to time, what she learned, why she would never do it again.  Is it worth it?  It's a miserable way to live.  There will be a need on his part for reassurance from Amanda it won't be repeated.  

 

He is  desperately fearful of losing her to the other man  at this point.  Once he feels reasonably comfortable that he has her back, resentment will burn in him.  I get a sense he has childhood emotional abandonment issues.  Amanda watch out, no one wants to become their husband's mother figure.  Then you will have this good boy/bad boy routine and a 3rd child.  It would be wonderful if Nic could find some  tools to nuture himself.  He needs to be good to "little Nic".  It would be hard  to be in relationship with a man that appears to be lacking the confidence to stand up and say, Hey, it's against my core values to a have my wife putting herself on exhibit for money.  I'm not going to take this anymore.  Get this other guy out of our lives, get yourself a respectable job, let's set some rules for fair fighting and NEVER involve our children.  These 2 individuals need to grow up and realize it's the children's turn to be "cared for as children".   They need to put the focus on their children, and family as a whole. 

 

They would not be people I'd want to invite over for dinner.  They are wearing each other and their relationship out.  One of those scenarios where talking about why is almost silly, it's just time to knock it off, rise to the occasion and be the grown up parents your children need.  Nic get a backbone and find your self worth , Amanda stop doing the things you know are wrong, start doing some things that will promote  integrity and pride in your life.

 
February 12, 2007, 8:27 am CST

02/12 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 3

Quote From: ricschic

"As for her dancing, big deal not like she's taking the kids to bring your kid to work day"....you made my point for me. She can't take her kids to work. What you do before you have kids is your own busines...what you do afterwards is theirs. Just let ONE kid find out what "mommy" does for a living, and her kids are going to live a nightmare at school. And since she chose such a public way to try to fix her marriage, it's highly likely that her kids are going to suffer from her choice of "profession". I feel badly for the kids in all of the marriages portrayed....

Butyou do realize there are parents who work in sensitive areas of government, military etc who also cannot take their children to work, so tell those soldiers overseas that their job is wrong ? 

If they live in a small area, even if they don't I'm sure someone's Daddy has been to the club to see her dance, came home told his wife, the kid overheard and guess what ?  And you know maybe I'm a selfish horrible parent, but I do have a life outside Motherhood, and quite frankly I don't share every detail of my life past or present with my children, why because there are things that aren't their business, what I spoke to my friends about, what I've discussed with my husband on his lunchbreak, some of what I have discussed with their teachers, credit card companies, what happened at work etc.

I agree that this public venue will be damaging, but the dancing isn't the issue, its the public displays of their temper tantrums and their obvious immaturity that are going to get the neighbors talking, the dancing to me is no big deal, its the basic attitudes and maturity levels, the screaming and fighting that are hurting these kids the most.

 
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