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Topic : 07/26 Adoptions Scams, Part 1

Number of Replies: 277
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Created on : Thursday, February 15, 2007, 04:43:02 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/22/07) Dr. Phil explores one of the cruelest cons in America: adoption scams. Couples hoping, wishing, praying to have their own child, become easy targets for heartless con artists who pose online as birthmothers. Meet three women who wanted nothing more than to hold a newborn child in their arms. Instead, they say they were misled, lied to and left devastated by a woman who claimed to be pregnant with a baby meant for them. Now Marie, Crissy and Jen might have a chance to confront Melissa, the woman who deceived them. With the help of private investigator Harold Copus, they track her down, and even Dr. Phil is shocked by what happens when they find her, including their close encounter with a man and his shotgun. When Melissa sits down with Dr. Phil to tell her side of the story, will her victims finally get their chance to confront her face to face? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 20, 2007, 4:30 am CST

people

These people that are scamming anyone they like are gonna get whats coming....
 
February 20, 2007, 1:50 pm CST

Adoption, DON'T give up

I am the mother of 3 children, 1 birth daughter and 2 adopted sons. All 3 gifts of God and loved equally as much. When adopting our first son we were drug through it all. We were scammed twice and in both cases the supposed birth mother was not even pregnant.

 

We met with countless couples and potential single birth mothers. We were matched with a boy and a girl, both toddlers and days before we were to officially bring the children home the birth father changed his mind. We were matched again and baby Grace was in our home 7 days before her birth mother decided she wanted to raise her. I do not blame either of these birth parent's, I just wish there was a better way to avoid the heartbreak we went through.

 

Then finally we were matched again, twin girls due any day. Everything was in place, the babies were born. As we waited in the waiting room the nurse asked if we wanted to see our girls, of course. We were able to view them through the window and once they were cleaned and weighed we could hold them. We waited and waited, until finally we asked someone to help us. We were no longer allowed to view or hold them. The birth grandmother decided she was going to raise the girls. Another heart break, I could not do this anymore. 

 

We went home and did not speak a word about adoption and children on the way home, nor that night.  We decided we did not have the strength to continue on with this quest of a larger family.  I called our adoption people and told them to please remove us from the data bank of waiting adoptive parents. It was unfair to our daughter and too painful for us. My heart was not even broken, it was shattered.

 

I give thanks to my belief in God and that he knows what is right and when it is right.  Two days later the agency called with a birth mother due in 3 weeks. She had viewed our profiles and only wanted to talk to us. At first I was upset thinking, I ask you to remove us from the waiting parent's list. She explained she had sent our information previously.  We met with her and 2.5 weeks later we had our newborn son in our arms. When something is right and you keep the faith you know it. After all we had been through this situation felt right from the very start.  Our son is now 8 years old and I can't even recall the pain we went through trying to get to that point. The memory is there but the pain is absent.

 

We have a second adoptive son now also. But that is another story. 

 

Do NOT ever give up hope, there is a child waiting for everyone of you. Perhaps your special child had not even been conceived yet, but I have faith there is a child for anyone who has chosen the loving option of adoption.  I am always willing to lend a shoulder, ear of information on adoption if you desire.  Love, faith and hope, may they all be yours.

 

 

 
February 20, 2007, 6:23 pm CST

Adoption Scams Part 1

Absolutely no one deserves to be scammed in this way, it is reprehesible behaviour.

 

However, adoption is supposed to be about finding a permanent loving home for a child who has no family, not about finding a child for people who are unable to have one of their own. If even a quarter of the effort, funding, tax breaks etc  was used towards keeping children with their real families, women would not be made to believe that their child is better off being raised by non related strangers.  

 

Adoption is not the win win situation that everyone says it is.  Read Lifton, Verrier, Soll

 
February 20, 2007, 7:15 pm CST

question?

Quote From: thecharmedone

Absolutely no one deserves to be scammed in this way, it is reprehesible behaviour.

 

However, adoption is supposed to be about finding a permanent loving home for a child who has no family, not about finding a child for people who are unable to have one of their own. If even a quarter of the effort, funding, tax breaks etc  was used towards keeping children with their real families, women would not be made to believe that their child is better off being raised by non related strangers.  

 

Adoption is not the win win situation that everyone says it is.  Read Lifton, Verrier, Soll

Who are you to say what adoption is supposed to be about? My understanding is this young lady was supposedly pregant but for whatever reason felt she could not raise the child so she was giving it up for adoption. Maybe I am misunderstanding you. Please clarify.

These ladies were going to give a child that was not going to have a family, a loving family.

 

 
February 20, 2007, 8:33 pm CST

are you serious?

Quote From: brok3n

I hope that someone STOPS this con from hurting other innocent people in the future.  Stealing someones hopes & dreams is a heartless act and she should be put away somewhere to think about what she has done not only to these innocent women but to other people as well..like her family and friends.

 

Brok3n

 

 

The lady didn't steal anyone's hopes or dreams, she stole their money. Babies are blank slates; one is as good as the next.  She scammed them, she'll go to jail, but she isn't evil, and they can go buy another kid.

 
February 20, 2007, 8:40 pm CST

I know Marie

I know Marie from another user group yahoo site. I am a birthmother and became friends with Marie. I remember when Marie told us that they were expecting the new baby...and all of us in the group were so excited. then she told us the truth behind this horrible scammer. i was just sick!!! it had not been but a couple weeks before her i found out that another adoptive mother that i knew had been scammed and her story was on Dateline. It just makes my heart break that someone can play with someone's emotions only to get money. I have known about this dr. phil special for several weeks. i can not wait to watch Marie scream and yell at this lady. Marie is an amazing woman!!! I can not wait until she can have another sucessful adoption!!! If i was pregnant again and was looking to place my child i would definately think that Marie would be the person who I would choose to parent.
 
February 20, 2007, 8:42 pm CST

02/22 Adoptions Scams, Part 1

Quote From: reticulate

The lady didn't steal anyone's hopes or dreams, she stole their money. Babies are blank slates; one is as good as the next.  She scammed them, she'll go to jail, but she isn't evil, and they can go buy another kid.

 Maybe you should watch the show before forming your opinion. There was tons stolen here. This girl is a professional at stealing hopes and dreams (among other things). You don't even know the half of it.

You actually think if you had a child to die that you can just have another and forget about it? It doesn't work that way.
 
February 20, 2007, 8:59 pm CST

inquiring minds

Quote From: pi_gurl

 Maybe you should watch the show before forming your opinion. There was tons stolen here. This girl is a professional at stealing hopes and dreams (among other things). You don't even know the half of it.

You actually think if you had a child to die that you can just have another and forget about it? It doesn't work that way.
Tell me, please, how exactly do you steal a dream?
 
February 20, 2007, 9:54 pm CST

02/22 Adoptions Scams, Part 1

Quote From: reticulate

The lady didn't steal anyone's hopes or dreams, she stole their money. Babies are blank slates; one is as good as the next.  She scammed them, she'll go to jail, but she isn't evil, and they can go buy another kid.

I'm sorry...babies are not blank slates they are babies!    All babies are good but when you loose one if it's by a failed adoption or miscarriage you are heart broken.  When someone scams an adoptive couple she does steal their hopes and dreams.  It's like if your abused and the abuser takes your trust away or how about if someone steels your indentaty and takes your life away that you work so hard to get.  When you can't have children your hopes and dreams of becoming pregnant are crushed and when you put your trust in another person to give you a hertiage sent through God to them and then to you it's the most precious thing on earth to you.  So when a scammer does this she does steal more than their hopes and dreams but their trust in other women who is despretly looking for someone to care for her baby.  One last thing adoption is NEVER and I say NEVER buying a kid.  It's about a woman who knows that she can't give her child the best in life and who is so selfless that she chooses this plan for their baby's life.    She is the most respectable person I will ever know.  Children are not to be bought they are to be loved with unconditional love.  Money doesn't buy anything but food, clothing and material things...it can't buy love or babies.  If you buy babies then your heart is not in adoption.

 

I know Marie and I'm so proud of her and the other women who stood up to Melissa!  I'm praying for all of you and your soon to be babies.  May God Bless you on this journey of the emotional rollercoster of adoption.  Your arms like mine will be filled with children who we will love them like ours. 

 

You go Marie!!!!!! 

 
February 20, 2007, 10:38 pm CST

????

Quote From: reticulate

The lady didn't steal anyone's hopes or dreams, she stole their money. Babies are blank slates; one is as good as the next.  She scammed them, she'll go to jail, but she isn't evil, and they can go buy another kid.

reticulate...

 

Man, you need to go and do some research. Your statements are very inaccurate, let alone insensitive to the plight of these three women.

 

Did it ever occur to you that a lot of people who are scammed do NOT give any money to the scammer? Some of these evil people are just in it for the thrill of manipulating their victims.

 

By the way, we don't "BUY" children in this country. That's a federal crime. Again, spend some time researching instead of kicking people when they're down. UGH.

 

Hallie

 
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