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Topic : 07/26 Adoptions Scams, Part 1

Number of Replies: 277
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Created on : Thursday, February 15, 2007, 04:43:02 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/22/07) Dr. Phil explores one of the cruelest cons in America: adoption scams. Couples hoping, wishing, praying to have their own child, become easy targets for heartless con artists who pose online as birthmothers. Meet three women who wanted nothing more than to hold a newborn child in their arms. Instead, they say they were misled, lied to and left devastated by a woman who claimed to be pregnant with a baby meant for them. Now Marie, Crissy and Jen might have a chance to confront Melissa, the woman who deceived them. With the help of private investigator Harold Copus, they track her down, and even Dr. Phil is shocked by what happens when they find her, including their close encounter with a man and his shotgun. When Melissa sits down with Dr. Phil to tell her side of the story, will her victims finally get their chance to confront her face to face? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 22, 2007, 11:38 am CST

Why aren't these people prosecuted?

I don't know why people like this aren't prosecuted?  After several operations, fertilization, five in vitros and a divorce, my daughter and her husband decided to adopt.  After waiting 1 1/2 years from the adoption agency, they arrived in the city of the agency to await the birth of their child.  Two days later they find out the birth mother took off; later to discover that she gave the adoption agency a false name, etc.  I hope the woman on your show is prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.  These adoptive parents have already been through a lot of emotional struggles even before they turn to adoption and then to have that happen is inexcusable.  I hope these women find themselves in a jail cell for a good long time.  Until they are prosecuted, they will continue to commit these crimes.
 
February 22, 2007, 11:58 am CST

Talk About Full!

Quote From: mumm88

Wow, aren't you full of yourself. Count yourself lucky that have not walked in these peoples shoes, or others like them.

 

You have no right to tell people where they should go to adopt. For your info. adopting through what you call "proper channels" get people scammed too. Educate yourself before you step into this arena.

Point one is that when someone resorts to cliches about "walking in someone's shoes" their reasoning is bankrupt.

 

Your right.  I shouldn't tell people not to shop for children by placing ads so they can get "one of the good ones".  At the same time, I don't want to hear them complain when they get burned.

 

Educate myself?  I work with many, many children would desperately need adoptive homes.  Please educate yourself before you try to tell me that the hopeless looks on their faces are not as important as the hypocrites who want the "right" child.

 

Call me full of myself or whatever you like.  When you have adopted one or two of these children I'll listen.

 

So explain to me what the basis is for your self-proclaimed guardianship of all that's good in life? 

 
February 22, 2007, 12:05 pm CST

It Can Be

Quote From: myfaith

I'm sorry...babies are not blank slates they are babies!    All babies are good but when you loose one if it's by a failed adoption or miscarriage you are heart broken.  When someone scams an adoptive couple she does steal their hopes and dreams.  It's like if your abused and the abuser takes your trust away or how about if someone steels your indentaty and takes your life away that you work so hard to get.  When you can't have children your hopes and dreams of becoming pregnant are crushed and when you put your trust in another person to give you a hertiage sent through God to them and then to you it's the most precious thing on earth to you.  So when a scammer does this she does steal more than their hopes and dreams but their trust in other women who is despretly looking for someone to care for her baby.  One last thing adoption is NEVER and I say NEVER buying a kid.  It's about a woman who knows that she can't give her child the best in life and who is so selfless that she chooses this plan for their baby's life.    She is the most respectable person I will ever know.  Children are not to be bought they are to be loved with unconditional love.  Money doesn't buy anything but food, clothing and material things...it can't buy love or babies.  If you buy babies then your heart is not in adoption.

 

I know Marie and I'm so proud of her and the other women who stood up to Melissa!  I'm praying for all of you and your soon to be babies.  May God Bless you on this journey of the emotional rollercoster of adoption.  Your arms like mine will be filled with children who we will love them like ours. 

 

You go Marie!!!!!! 

Adoption can be very much about buying a child.  Frequently it is a financial transaction pure and simple.  I am NOT saying there aren't good adoptions.  Most of them are.  But if you don't think your income level increases your odds of successfully adopting, you're being extremely naive.
 
February 22, 2007, 12:07 pm CST

huh?

Quote From: flrat69

I am one person who has no sympathy for these people.  If they wanted to adopt, they should have gone through known legitimate channels.  Putting an ad in the paper?  Why not just auction a baby off?  These are people who outsmarted themselves and got burned for it.  They weren't even smart enough to know something was up when the "mother" kept having them repaint the same room?  These people might have just as well written their ad on a bathroom wall.  There are many children out there who really need good homes.  These people were too good for that?  I see kids with no homes all the time, but these people wouldn't think of them.  No.  They had to buy the "best" child they could and they got what they deserved. 

You can't be serious!!!

 

Boy, it is people like you who really do not pay attention to what they are seeing right in front of their faces.

 

These women DID GO THROUGH KNOWN LEGITIMATE CHANNELS!!!  There were agencies and attorneys involved. Far be it for you to believe that even professionals in the adoption industry are LIED TO!!!

 

These women WILL GET what they deserver. And it will be a GOOD REWARD. I am confident of that!!

 

And people like you, need to clam up and get educated.

 

Hallie

 
February 22, 2007, 12:07 pm CST

02/22 Adoptions Scams, Part 1

Quote From: freebird9902

These women did go through the proper channels...think you should do a little more homework before spouting off. As far as the painting of the room goes.. in my eyes that was compassion for the "so called birthmother"

From the way it sounds, you could be just as demented as Melissa thinking that there is nothing wrong with this!

In the meantime what you advocate is really children to the highest bidder.
 
February 22, 2007, 12:13 pm CST

uh, noooo

Quote From: klagow

Maybe I am missing something BUT - how can anyone actually adopt a baby without researching and at the very least, meeting the person first!  People worry about getting cheated when purchasing objects online and putting their credit cards online but they will go through a transaction of adopting a baby without ever meeting and getting to know the birth mother?  That's crazy!  I'm not saying that these people deserved any of this but I still think they were just setting themselves up to be conned!

No no no you were NOT paying attention!!!!!

 

Did you not GET that Melissa finally unraveled her scam when FACED WITH MEETING these families? She led them on until there was the reality of them coming to her door. Then she boxed herself in a corner and had to lie her way out, although the lies for the families were heartbreaking...she had no choice. She could NOT meet them and not appear pregnant...right? She had to "end it" somehow, because it wasn't real.


DUH. Pay attention here. Oh and by the way, there were other victims who DID meet her in person. As you can see, she's huge...enormous....a hidden pregnancy would have been simple for her, without any proof. Adoptive parents try not to rock the boat, so they only push so far. I see nothing wrong with how these families handled themselves.

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong with the nasty con artist who sits there all smug and guiltless. What a wench.

 

Hallie

 
February 22, 2007, 12:16 pm CST

And With Respect From Me

Quote From: rosie52

I was able to have my own biological children. But it took a while to get pregnant . The 2nd time I was probably considered to be infertile, because it took well over a year. It seemed like forever. It took a little less time the 1st time.For me it was a yearning. I wanted a baby in my arms, in our lives, to cuddle, care for ,love etc... I feel so very fortunate that we were able to have our own. I can only imagine how desperate I would have been to adopt had we not been able to have our own biological children. These people who are scamming these couples must KNOW how desperate childless couples can be. I certainly have a lot of compassion for each and every one of them. To think how they probably hoped and prayed for a baby to love and then to have a low-life individual break their hearts and shatter their dreams! People like that have no conscience at all!

You are at least posting a thoughtful and clearly heart felt response.  I never agreed with the con artists.  Prison for them is fine with me.  My family has been down the adoption road six times.  One of my sisters adopted five.  The first two she adopted were through Catholic Charities.   After that, they adopted "problem children" through the state.  Each of the other three children had something considered wrong with them (ranging from cerebral palsy to retardation).  I happen to think my sister and her husband really took the high road of adoption.  The child was the important factor, with or without problems.  They certainly did not shop for one in the newspaper like one might look for a pet.

 

Since you did want a child so badly, I am not only happy for you, I am happy for your kids too.  I know they have a great home that is full of love.  I see a distinct difference here.

 
February 22, 2007, 12:22 pm CST

02/22 Adoptions Scams, Part 1

Quote From: realmaria

 

Mike,

I read your posting on Melissa's other scams. It's sickening to think there are people that would become such parasites-feeding off of others emotions and good intentions. I'm sorry this happened to you. Sadly it's a common thing. We see this in the news often, people faking illnesses with their children to get sympathy and donations. Think about all the people taking aid for Katrina when they weren't anywhere near the storm.

 

I know at times I've asked myself if I should give to charities or people that appear in need. I question if my good deeds are really helping or is someone just using me. The best answer I have ever been given comes from my now deceased grandmother. When I was a little girl walking with her, a beggar was sitting on the sidewalk with a small box asking for handouts. The man was dirty, smelly and most likely homeless (or really faked it well). My grandmother put money in his box. As we walked past I asked her what if he's faking it? or if he's really not homeless. My Grandmother replied, "It doesn't matter what he does, I know I did the right thing."  Although this happened over 40 years ago I clearly remember her words and use those to settle any doubts I ever have.

 

You have a kind heart Mike, don't let someone like Melissa harden it.

 

Maria

 

PS- Rosie O'Donnell wrote a book called "Find Me". It's a sad tale of how she was duped by someone claiming to be pregnant. This person had multiply personalities. Rosie sent this woman all sorts of things and spent countless hours on the phone with her.

Rosie O'Donnell?   ROFL!   What a source!  LOL!!!
 
February 22, 2007, 12:22 pm CST

02/22 Adoptions Scams, Part 1

I have little sympathy for these people who turn to the net in order to "buy" a baby, and then get burnt. There are literally hundreds of thousands of children across the United States who need homes. No, they're not perfect little babies who have never called another woman "mother"-they're older-or from troubled homes, or abused.....have they no value in the eyes of these women????? I'd think that if they wanted to be parents bad enough, they'd open their hearts and homes to the 13 year old, the 8 year old, etc. However, in the eyes of these wanna be mothers, these children are "flawed", second rate, unwanted even by the most desperate of prospective adoptive parents. There are foster kids watching this show in tears because they KNOW that they're out of the running when it comes to finding "forever" homes and parents. Shame on all of you who won't even CONSIDER adding an older child to your families!
 
February 22, 2007, 12:27 pm CST

and the problem is....?

Quote From: dcuffy

I don't know why people like this aren't prosecuted?  After several operations, fertilization, five in vitros and a divorce, my daughter and her husband decided to adopt.  After waiting 1 1/2 years from the adoption agency, they arrived in the city of the agency to await the birth of their child.  Two days later they find out the birth mother took off; later to discover that she gave the adoption agency a false name, etc.  I hope the woman on your show is prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.  These adoptive parents have already been through a lot of emotional struggles even before they turn to adoption and then to have that happen is inexcusable.  I hope these women find themselves in a jail cell for a good long time.  Until they are prosecuted, they will continue to commit these crimes.
So your daughter and her husband don't want a child bad enough to adopt an OLDER child? Shame on them! Women don't "owe" babies to childless couples! Your daughter could have had a child if she'd gone thru family services in your state-there are THOUSANDS of kids who NEED parents-but noooo, its a newborn or nothing! That tells me they don't want a child THAT bad!
 
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