Quote From: loverniosHello, my name is Mike, and I've been conned by her too
I wish to thank Marie for putting a stop to Melissa.
If it weren't for her efforts, I'd be mourning a beautiful dead woman very soon, I'm quite sure.
Backing up a second...
Melissa posed as Bella in a couple of web-hangouts that I frequented.
She was the same 'personna' that Marie was all too familiar with.
Only at these sites, Bella was not scamming prospective adoptive parents, she was creating enormous empathy and love for herself by pretending she had breast cancer, complete with a double mastectomy and 8 rounds of chemotherapy.
She knew her stuff about cancer and various treatments. She was not an authority or a good patient, she claimed she did not listen to the doctors. She took the treatments as they came and kept her life as 'normal' as possible, in spite of her disease.
I always felt she was not facing her illness, and it's apparent now as to why it came across that way.
We talked as friends on the phone frequently, she was a pleasure to talk to and quite a revelation in the context that she was very gravely ill, yet her spirit remained bouyant and charming.
We were 'close' for perhaps 7 months.
The 'truth' was such a crushing thing, but as the smoke cleared in my mind, it was clear I was lied to for all those months. Many others were fooled, though most people kept it at a distance, but there were several of us men who made it clear to her that we cared and were willing to help somehow.
I sent her alot of things, most of the stuff was inexpensive stuff, simple stuff to make her smile and feel good about herself. Bandanas for her head, head scarfs, chocolate, pink cancer girl stuff, necklaces for her boys, books to read, pens and some stationary etc. Panties too. I wanted her to get the feeling that she was still a lovely lady, and still retained tons of feminine beauty depite the ravages of the disease.
I also sent her 135$ to pay a phone bill once. Hey, she was alone with 2 small kids in the middle of nowhere. Me, I was very worried she would need emergency service sometime, and a lack of a telephone became a safety issue, so I paid it for her.
I read alot of posts from the most beautiful women I've ever read from and the message board at http://www.breastcancer.org
I became very familiar with that site, and the nature of breast cancer in general.
The strife and mindless sadness that breast cancer imposes on a female body can be devastating, and yes, it is grave enough to kill. Young women in their prime are mutilated and their life is sucked out of them with the intensity of the treatments. Families are consumed with supporting and helping, money is drained and there is an air of fear and loathing in people's hearts.
At the bc.org site, there is tremendous support on many levels, but something with this disease that is a total robbery of the feminine soft beauty and women who survive it struggle mightily with their sexuality and chances at a future with new and old relationships.
My compassion for Bella rested in that type of mindset.
I knew I could not see her, she was insecure and far away, so what we had was perfect for the time.
She said her breasts were to be reconstructed in Beverly Hills.
She said she made over $150,000 a year, but her bills were snowballing, the medical problems were keeping her out of work and her benefits were drying up rapidly.
She also told us she had a 3 year old daughter die from cancer.
She told us she has twin boys
She told us the father of those boys was fighting for freedom in Iraq, but they were not a couple anymore.
She told us she sends random care packages and letters to servicemen overseas all the time, as a basic good gesture.
She presented herself as a devout an honorable Christian.
What this boiled down to many times was simply that Breast Cancer was too serious, scary and intimidating to lie about, it was beyond me to imagine this was someone lying to me.
Amazingly it was. She got 'stuff' from me, and a phone bill paid.
I was robbed of my good nature and my goodness as a person.
It was sucked out of me.
I was heartfelt and in a state of fear, worry and concern for her for 7 months, and she was lying all the while.
She manipulated me so much, I am still confused and unsure on just how diabolical this person is.
She obviously was busy, she had very serious scams going concurrently with Marie, Jen and Crissy.
I will say this... it is a relief to have 'someone' not have Breast Cancer anymore...
My heart thanks Marie, because at some point down the road, Melissa would have had to KILL OFF Bella, and let that 'character' of hers die.
To the deep and resonating sadness of all those that merely wanted to help her.
THAT - would have been aweful.
Melissa sure was not Bella, so an ENDING would have been required.
Thank You for reading.
Mike
I finally was able to sit down and watch the shows that I missed last week due to work....I normally play catch-up on monday mornings and then watch the show on monday since I am home then. Thank goodness for the DVR....so at least I evantually do get to see the dr phil shows I missed!!!!
I was appalled that Melissa would do that to those women who wanted more than anything to be able to give a baby a loving home and knowing that used it againist them for some kind of sick twisted emotional gain on her part. Then she said something about just wanting to be important to someone...I think it is more she liked the feeling of being in control and having people hang on her words and calling and wanting to be in contact with her and I think she felt she could control what was said and how much they knew, etc, etc...and that she liked being in control of someone else.
I think it is very sick and I hope that Melissa gets what she deserves out of all of this...whether it is time in Jail OR being locked away for a long time in a mental instution...one thing is for sure she does not need to be allowed to remain free and be able to scam someone else in the future.
I also feel that her son should be placed with someone else who can raise him and teach him how to be responsible and honest and to treat others as he would want to be treated. Sad that so very many people have forgotten the golden rule which was instilled in me as a child...do unto others as you would have done unto you. I belibe that children learn by example and right now she is not providing a good example for him to learn from.
My heart goes out to Marie, Chrissy and Jen....I truly hope that the 2 of you who have not been able to adopt yet are blessed with a child to love and cherish and raise in the near future. I am not good on names but the one who adopted I am very happy to hear that this experince did not stop you from fulfilling your dream and congrats on the adoption of your baby.
My Dh and I are looking into adoption and seeing things like scams like this is pretty scary to us. He has 2 children from a previous relationship and we pretty much decided early on that we would like to open our hearts and home to an older child. We just feel that most couples are looking to adopt a baby when there are so many other children out there who desperatly need to know what it means to have a home and what it means to be loved for who they are and cherished. We are working with our local DHs so we feel pretty safe in that we won't end up getting scammed...at least I am hoping and praying we won;t be.
Now onto what you had to say MIke....not only was she doing the baby scam but also a breast cancer one...and who knows how many other types of scams.
The fact that she pretended to have breast cancer angers me because I watched my beloved Grandma figtht and loose a battle with cancer...she had like 3 type or so one being breast cancer. My Dh sister is fighting breast cancer right now....and we are watchin her fight her battle now. My DH oldest child was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor at age 3 and underwent several sessions of chemo followed by radiation. He was told his daugher would not see her 4th birthday by the oncologist...but by the grace of god she not only made it to 4...but is now 10.
Its very very sick for her to not only Fake having the cancer but to also claim to have lost a child to it just to get finanical gain and people to feel sorry for her.
There are people out there fighting cancer and their are parents out there having to bury a child because of cancer and to me that is Not something to be taken lightly Or to lie about just to make people feel sorry for you.
Like I stated before Melissa needs to be locked away somewhere and not given the chance to hurt another person with any of her scams.
ps I am sure I misspelled some words...please forgive me I am kind of in a rush and trying to hurry up and get this typed..
(Original Air Date: 02/22/07) Dr. Phil explores one of the cruelest cons in America: adoption scams. Couples hoping, wishing, praying to have their own child, become easy targets for heartless con artists who pose online as birthmothers. Meet three women who wanted nothing more than to hold a newborn child in their arms. Instead, they say they were misled, lied to and left devastated by a woman who claimed to be pregnant with a baby meant for them. Now Marie, Crissy and Jen might have a chance to confront Melissa, the woman who deceived them. With the help of private investigator Harold Copus, they track her down, and even Dr. Phil is shocked by what happens when they find her, including their close encounter with a man and his shotgun. When Melissa sits down with Dr. Phil to tell her side of the story, will her victims finally get their chance to confront her face to face? Talk about the show here.
